How Ben Quilty Dads - Drawing lessons from life and a life drawing lesson!

Explicit content warning

09/19/24 • 60 min

As one of Australia’s great contemporary artists, Ben’s compassion and humanity is evident in all his work, and so is his willingness to self-examine. So perhaps unsurprisingly in his chat with Hamish, Ben opens up about what shaped him in his own childhood, his thoughts on masculinity, the shockwave of sadness that hit him recently when his adult son moved out of home, and the unwelcome thoughts of mortality that followed.

Ben also gives us some fantastic practical hacks on how to encourage creativity in our kids, why it’s so important to keep doing it beyond just the cute years, and some great drawing games to play when you’re out to dinner with the kids. He also revisits memories of the magic and mischief his father would create for him and his brothers as a kid with the secret lives of gnomes that lived in their house (and inspired some of his latest work). And perhaps in a world first (for reasons that become self-evident) Ben gives Hamish a drawing lesson on a podcast. We promise it works out (sort of).

Massive thanks to Ben for having us over to his studio in the Southern Highlands. His honesty and vulnerability make for a heartfelt and wisdom filled chat.

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And big thanks to HERTZ who are back as our exclusive sponsor in season 3. And just like us, Hertz are all about making memories and having adventures. So if you need a great car to complete your next family getaway, head to hertz.com.au/hodd for a great discount. Terms and conditions do apply. See the website for details on these, as some exclusions do apply.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Massive thanks to Ben for having us over to his studio in the Southern Highlands. His honesty and vulnerability make for a heartfelt and wisdom filled chat.

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See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Previous Episode

How Wayne Hope Dads - Stepdadding, working on yourself, dadding after trauma and creating joy.

As a prolific co-creator of Australian comedy classics like Upper Middle Bogan, Wayne is probably more comfortable bringing to life hilarious, and hilariously flawed characters, rather than reflecting on his own life. But we know Wayne to be so thoroughly kind, thoughtful and wise that we really put the screws on him to come and have a chat. Thankfully he agreed! (mostly due to a nudge from his wonderful partner in life and work, Robyn Butler)

Wayne talks beautifully about becoming a stepdad, his initial fears of having another child and the transformative effect that working on some of your own issues can have on your parenting. Wayne also shares some stuff from his childhood involving domestic violence perpetrated by his father, and the huge ripple effect it has had on his life. It’s pretty heavy stuff, but Wayne manages to explain it with such amazing insightfulness and honesty, reflecting on how he continues to work through its enduring impact to this day.

We are so thankful to Wayne for sharing this part of his story, as it’s not something he has ever talked about publicly. But just like Wayne himself, this chat is so much more than that, and Wayne’s wisdom as a father and partner means that every single person will take something away from this really profound chat.

The chilling statistics...

Unfortunately the violence that Wayne talks about is not a rare thing and the horrors of male violence and domestic abuse are incredibly far reaching, taking a huge toll on our community. In Australia, a staggering 1 in 4 women have experienced physical or sexual violence, or both, perpetrated by a partner (Source). The generational impacts on children involved are massive, and for the victims the outcomes are tragic. In 2023 almost 50% of all women killed in Australia were murdered by their current or former partner (source).

If you know somebody that is suffering from domestic violence and needs help, 1800Respect.org.au is a good place to start.

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1800RESPECT is the national domestic, family, and sexual violence counselling, information and support service.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic or family violence, you can call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732, text 0458 737 732 or visit the website for online chat and video call services:

Available 24/7: Call, text or online chat
Mon-Fri, 9am-5pm AEST (except national public holidays): Video call (no appointment needed)

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And big thanks to HERTZ who are back as our exclusive sponsor for all of season 3. Thanks to Hertz we can bring you all these great conversations and also thanks to Hertz you can head to hertz.com.au/hodd for a great discount on you next rental. Terms and conditions do apply. See the website for details on these, as some exclusions do apply.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Next Episode

How Santo Cilauro Dads - Provide Consistency, Variation… Oh, and strap yourself in!

He’s helped create some of Australia’s most memorable comedic characters, battled tirelessly to elevate Football (the proper round ball kind!) to the upper echelons of Australian sport, and most importantly, he’s the father to 2 (now adult) sons.

But before looking at his own dadding, Santo takes us back to Melbourne in the 1960s and 70s, painting a vivid picture of the multi-generational approach to parenting that he experienced growing up in a migrant family, especially the huge role his grandfather played. Things were a touch looser back then!

With his own kids now young adults, Santo is able to explain to us how his approach to parenting has changed over the years. But he’s come to think there are a couple universal elements, and he borrowed them from some advice the late, great John Clarke gave on comedy writing. John said audiences like two, seemingly incompatible things... consistency and variation. Santo reckons kids are the same. You need the consistency to keep turning up, be rock solid and always there for them, but the ability to vary your approach based on what they are presenting, what they are going through and who your kid is. Pretty bloody smart if you ask us!!

Santo shares a bunch of gems like these, and of course some great stories and behind the scenes moments from The Late Show and The Castle (you’ll get some of Dennis Denuto’s origin story!)

Santo is super honest, humble and doesn’t waste time trying to convince us he has all the answers - as he says, parenting is an adventure and sometimes you just gotta go with it! But he is pretty steadfast about one thing... you really should force your kid to learn an instrument!

Huge thanks to Santo for making the time to chat, we absolutely loved it.

Huge thanks to you for listening - You can drop us a line anytime at howotherdadsdad.com - we love hearing from you guys.

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And a people mover sized thanks to our very good friends at HERTZ who are our exclusive sponsor for Season 3. Just like us, they are big fans of adventure and memory making and in a great deal for HODD listeners, if you need a rental car in Australia, head to hertz.com.au/hodd for 25% off the base rate. What a great deal! Ts&Cs and exclusions apply. See website for details.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.