The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair
Michelle Chalfant
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Top 10 The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair Episodes
Goodpods has curated a list of the 10 best The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair episodes, ranked by the number of listens and likes each episode have garnered from our listeners. If you are listening to The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair for the first time, there's no better place to start than with one of these standout episodes. If you are a fan of the show, vote for your favorite The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair episode by adding your comments to the episode page.
295: Holiday Special: How to Change Negative Programs and Patterns with Adele Spraggon
The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair
12/30/21 • 66 min
When you think about wanting to change or transform, what do you typically think of changing? Most of us think of a behavior or action – something we are doing. If we’ve been doing our work for a while, we might think of a thought pattern or belief.
But what if everything we do and think is just the tip of the iceberg? What if our actions, behaviors and beliefs are actually the manifestation of deep unconscious patterns in our brains, and if true transformation happens by transforming these patterns?
In this episode, I talk with the incredible Adele Spraggon, a behavioral change and brain expert, about what drives human behavior, why traditional methods of change fail and how we can identify and transform the unconscious patterns that drive our behavior without us even knowing it.
We’re covering so many topics from relationships to money (because the brain affects them all!), and you will learn Adele’s four-step process for working with negative patterns, even those in your subconscious mind.
I LOVED my conversation with Adele – a true soul sister who speaks The Adult Chair® language – and I know you will too.
Listen to discover:
- Why simply trying to change behavior doesn’t work
- The real reason why you do what you do
- The problem with goal setting
- How to actually transform actions, behaviors and beliefs
- Steps to changing unconscious brain patterns
- Surrender vs. acceptance
- How this can change your relationship with money, your partner, your family, etc.
Too often we try to change only the external or we try to simply work against the negative patterns in our brain, and we wonder why our lives don’t change. As you will learn in this episode, the key is that we have to get rid of the old pattern before we can replace it with a new one...and this episode will show you how!
“How we are taught to change behaviors is not effective. What we need to do is deal with our brain’s patterning instead of the actions that we're taking, the beliefs that we’re holding or the behaviors we’re adopting.” - Adele Spraggon
“Between us and our situations, there lives an interpreter, and that interpreter is our brain.” - Adele Spraggon
“We create this roadmap from [age] 0 to 6 that we’re living in as adults.” - Michelle Chalfant
“Mindset originates in the unconscious patterning of the brain.” - Adele Spraggon
“I love triggers because so much is revealed in a trigger.” - Michelle Chalfant
“People don’t procrastinate. We avoid.” - Adele Spraggon
“Everything about who a person is today is the result of every pattern that has brought them here.” - Adele Spraggon
“The biggest gift you can give another person is to allow that person to show up brand new every time you see them.” - Adele Spraggon
LINKS & RESOURCES
Adele Spraggon Website
https://www.adelespraggon.com/
“Shift: 4 Steps to Personal Empowerment” (Adele Spraggon Book)
2022 Adult Chair® Membership
2022 Theme: A Year of Conscious Living
https://courses.theadultchair.com/offers/U6FHGTjV/checkout
P&G Hair Food
Or find on Amazon or Target.com
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership
https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop
https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!)
https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
1 Listener
Bonus: 5 Minute Self Love Meditation
The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair
03/25/21 • 6 min
This 5-minute meditation promotes relaxation, healing, and self-love.
It’s a wonderful meditation for emotional healing and/or physical healing or for anyone seeking greater peace in their lives.
1 Listener
303: The Anxiety Survival Guide with The Anxiety Sisters
The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair
02/24/22 • 56 min
Do you know what anxiety really feels like? I’m not talking about the emotions of fear or stress, but what it feels like in your body.
So many of us live with anxiety and don’t even know it because it’s SO physical. It’s even easy to mistake it for physical disease, like heart issues or digestive issues.
That was the case for Abbe Greenberg and Maggie Sarachek, two soul sisters who are both mental health professionals and the founders of Anxiety Sisters, a supportive community for those living with anxiety. Though they can now see how their anxiety began showing up in early childhood, for years, they bounced from doctor to doctor and even spent time in the hospital before realizing the root cause of their suffering was anxiety.
This began their passion to help raise awareness around anxiety and help anxiety sufferers learn how to live full, happy lives – anxiety and all. We had an incredible conversation about all things anxiety and how to heal it, and I resonated with so many parts of their story...these ladies are the real deal!
Listen to discover:
- Our stories of recognizing and healing anxiety
- How anxiety manifests as physical symptoms
- The power of acceptance in managing anxiety
- Why connection is key to healing anxiety
- How to pack a "spin kit" so you'll be prepared when anxiety strikes
- The difference between anxiety and a panic attack
- How to overcome phobias and agoraphobia
I know I have a lot of favorite topics, but anxiety is one I really feel we can't talk about enough. Too many people in the world are suffering from anxiety without even knowing it, and we have so many tools – from our support system to our sensory system – to help us find peace and balance in life.
It’s not about never feeling anxious again but learning how to find your own brand of happiness and how to take charge so anxiety no longer runs the show.
"I still didn't have the vocabulary or the words to make these connections of what I was feeling and how that was connected to anxiety." - Maggie Sarachek
"Anxiety becomes really debilitating when it's in the driver's seat." - Abbe Greenberg
"I think there is this process of accepting anxiety." - Maggie Sarachek
"Acceptance doesn't mean anything other than, 'This is where I am.’" - Michelle Chalfant
"Our brand of happy is anxious happy." - Abbe Greenberg
"Anxiety can no longer sneak up on you. And when it can't sneak up on you, it takes away two thirds of its power." - Abbe Greenberg
"No two people have the same exact anxiety and panic." - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES
Anxiety Sisters Website
Anxiety Sisters Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/anxietysisters
*Home of a Tuesday night book club + supportive community
The Spin Cycle (Anxiety Sisters Podcast)
https://anxietysisters.com/podcasts/
"The Anxiety Sisters' Survival Guide" (Anxiety Sisters Book)
https://anxietysisters.com/anxiety-sisters-survival-guide/
Adult Chair® Coaches
https://theadultchair.com/coaches/
The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group
https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership
https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop
https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification
https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
1 Listener
298: How to Work with and Tame the Inner Critic with Jenny Jansen
The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair
01/20/22 • 41 min
All of us have an inner critic – the part that reminds us of our limits, our failures and tries to “keep us in line.” It’s that voice inside your head that can be critical, judgmental and even mean. Though it’s just one part of who we are, the inner critic is one of those parts that can be especially painful and stressful to deal with.
Not only does the inner critic impact our sense of self-worth, but it also keeps us stuck and small in life (although it thinks it’s keeping us safe). We will often find this part standing between us and the dreams that are in our heart, telling us all the reasons why we can’t or shouldn’t.
That is what Adult Chair® Coach Jenny Jansen encountered when she was considering joining The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Program. She knew her heart was telling her to take the leap, but her inner critic dialed the volume up and tried to keep her stuck in fear.
In this episode, Jenny tells the story of how she used The Adult Chair® to work with and transform her inner critic and how that was the first step toward living a life where she feels purposeful, energized and successful. Jenny shares a detailed example of doing her own parts work, helping illustrate what this work looks like in real life and how transformational it is.
Listen to discover:
- How Jenny transformed her inner critic from her Adult Chair
- The tools Jenny used to work with her inner critic
- A beautiful parts work example from Jenny’s work
- How Jenny overcame her fears about The Adult Chair Coaching Certification and became an amazingly successful coach
As Jenny worked with her inner critic, she discovered that underneath the blame and shame it was throwing her way was fear. This is usually the case for our Adolescent parts – they are afraid and want to keep us safe. When we turn towards them with our healthy Adult voice and let them know they’re ok, they transform.
Jenny’s story is a powerful example of how the goal is not to get rid of parts of ourselves but rather to integrate them into our whole self, with our healthy Adult in charge.
“I feel like my inner critic was born when I was born.” - Jenny Jansen
“When I turned toward it, I realized there was so much fear underneath.” - Jenny Jansen
“The more you turn away from that voice, it gets louder.” - Michelle Chalfant
“When we’re able to turn toward those parts and get to know them, they morph.” - Michelle Chalfant
“A lot of times, we mix up feeling safe with feeling familiar.” - Jenny Jansen
“What is it going to take to move your body path in line with your soul path?” - Jenny Jansen
“When we take these risks and work with these inner parts and walk through our fears, we become more authentic. We live more from our true self, our true essence, and we have an experience of it.” - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES
Jenny Jansen Website
https://www.trueconsciousliving.com/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!)
https://theadultchair.com/certification
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership
https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop
https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!)
https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
1 Listener
263: Finding your True Self with Dr. Shefali
The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair
05/20/21 • 38 min
The world around us demands so much of us. If we’re not careful, it can erode our souls, steal our true selves and get us to believe lies about the source of our worth. We have to become conscious and aware to step into our true power and a whole, awakened life.
I have been a huge fan of Dr. Shefali for years. I got SO much out of her work on conscious parenting when my kids were young, and it’s no wonder she’s become so well known for her work. But her new book might just be my favorite yet — I truly couldn’t put it down (it’s SO aligned with The Adult Chair®) — and I’m beyond thrilled to have her on the show to discuss how to have a radical (and beautiful) awakening in life.
In this conversation, we explore the way our ego and our social conditioning covers up the true self and keeps us from living free lives. This can be especially true for those oriented towards giving, nurturing and connecting. Society takes these gifts and trains us to be outward focused, seeking praise, validation and approval instead of turning inward and claiming who we really are.
Dr. Shefali shares her own story of awakening, when she realized that despite her work, she was living in the “matrix” and ignoring her true wants and needs to try to get love from others (what she calls the “beggar” mentality). By going deep into the often difficult work of looking at the ego and the masks we all wear, she was able to strip away the lies and see what was true — and step into the authentic self-love and self-care we all deserve.
Listen to discover:
- Shefali’s own radical awakening
- The trap women (and men) fall into
- How to stop suppressing the true self
- What soul erosion is and how it forms
- The “triple threat” women face in childhood
- The role of the ego in our life
- What keeps us from awakening (especially in our culture)
This is a profound conversation that will take the blinders off and change what you think is normal, while inspiring you to strive for what is truly possible for you — and for all of us.
“We, women especially, need to snap out of our chronic civility, helplessness and unworthiness.” - Dr. Shefali
“We cannot waste our life never discovering our true self.” - Dr. Shefali
“When we’re told we can only be given worth when we put others before ourselves, now that giving heart leads to an obliteration of ourselves.” - Dr. Shefali
“We’re so disconnected from our true self, we don’t know who we are at all.” - Michelle Chalfant
“The way out is in. We have to go in to heal.” - Michelle Chalfant
“I want what’s on the other side of that wall, but you got to go through the wall, and the wall is our pain.” - Michelle Chalfant
“We tell ourselves the greatest stories in the world, and we don’t know we’re telling ourselves stories.” - Dr. Shefali
“The greatest narcissism is to pretend you’re not a queen or a king and not own your voice.” - Dr. Shefali
Resources
“A Radical Awakening” Book and Course
Dr. Shefali Website
Free Inner Child Resource
https://theadultchair.com/innerchild
P&G Hair Food
Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart
More Adult Chair
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership
https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop
https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification
https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/
TAC Circles®
https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/
Stay Connected
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant
***
EPISODE CREDITS:
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozme...
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256: Understanding Enmeshment with Dr. Ken Adams
The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair
04/01/21 • 54 min
Everyone wants a caring, loving family, right? But is it possible for close to become too close?
“Enmeshment” is a term that’s been gaining more traction recently, and it describes family systems that are intertwined in unhealthy ways. These families appear very loving from the outside, but that love is often based on guilt and obligation...and usually the family doesn’t even know this about themselves!
My brilliant guest today, Dr. Ken Adams, is pulling back the veil on enmeshment and helping us understand what it is and when and how it forms. One of the leading researchers and teachers on this topic, Dr. Adams helps us understand when closeness crosses a line, how to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy family structures and how to break free and develop secure attachments to your partner, friends or other relationships you’ve created.
Listen to discover:
- What enmeshment means
- How it forms in childhood
- The effects enmeshment has on a spouse or partner
- How to change the family system
- Why getting free is something you have to do for yourself
Often, enmeshment is rooted in a lonely parent who substitutes their child for their partner. This leads to adult children who feel a sense of obligation to the parent’s well-being, even at the expense of their own needs or the life they’ve created.
The good news is that this doesn't have to be an either/or scenario. It’s possible to love your family without feeling tangled up with them, and you CAN redefine the relationship and become free to be who you’re meant to be — including a great son or daughter.
“The love contract is defined by obligatory guilt and loyalty, not about freedom to love.” - Dr. Ken Adams
“The empathetic, sensitive soul in the family gets globbed onto by the lonely parent.” - Dr. Ken Adams
“Enmeshment has a direct impact on romantic availability.” - Dr. Ken Adams
“Emancipation is not a negotiation.” - Dr. Ken Adams
“The idea of cracking [the false self] open and becoming the true self is terrifying because we don’t know who we are without that mask.” - Michelle Chalfant
“It feels like your spouse is having an affair, but it’s with their mother or their father.” - Michelle
Resources
Dr. Ken Adams Website
https://www.overcomingenmeshment.com/
Dr. Ken Adams YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzFj2abP0cx8tEO1eLyjbDA
“When He’s Married to Mom” (Dr. Ken Adams book)
https://www.overcomingenmeshment.com/books/when-hes-married-to-mom/
“Silently Seduced” (Dr. Ken Adams book)
https://www.overcomingenmeshment.com/books/silently-seduced/
The Adult Chair Membership - April “I Believe” Month
https://theadultchair.com/membership/
P&G Hair Food
Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart
More Adult Chair
The Adult Chair Website
The Adult Chair Membership
https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair Workshop
https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair Coaching Certification
https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/
TAC Circles
https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/
Stay Connected
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/
The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant
***
EPISODE CREDITS:
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.
He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.
Find out more at https://e...
1 Listener
304: Trauma Healing with Ilene Smith
The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair
03/03/22 • 38 min
When we think of trauma, many of us think of war, a car accident or a major, life-altering event. Though all of these events are certainly traumatic, they are only one type of trauma – what we often call “big T” trauma.
But there are many other forms of subtler trauma, including small events that happen over and over again (especially in childhood), that overwhelm our nervous systems and shape the way we move through the world. I would argue that most humans have had some sort of trauma in their lives, and you’d be surprised by how many times I’ve sat with clients who didn’t even know they had trauma. Heck, it took me decades to realize I had trauma from childhood!
I think this is partly because trauma is such a loaded word, so on today’s show, I’m talking with a trauma expert, Ilene Smith, about what trauma actually is, how to notice if we’re living with trauma and how to heal it.
Listen to discover:
- What trauma is
- Clues that you might be living with trauma
- How trauma affects attachment style as adults
- What trauma bonding is
- How to heal a dysregulated nervous system
- Steps to heal trauma starting today
Here’s the thing about trauma: it has less to do with what actually happened (the event) and everything to do with how that event was interpreted and processed by our nervous system. Even small things can be overwhelming to the nervous system when they happen over time, when we’re children (because we don’t have any filters or discernment) and/or when we don’t have a strong sense of safety and support to help us process the painful events of our lives. And once our nervous system has been “trained” to react a certain way, it can get stuck there even once the trauma is over.
Bringing a sense of safety back to the nervous system is key to building up resilience and allowing yourself to process the stuck fight, flight or freeze energy. This happens in the body, which means the ability to heal your nervous system is as close to you as you are to yourself. I hope this episode brings you some lightbulb moments on what might be happening in your body and how you can begin to connect and heal.
“People often think of trauma as an event, but it's really the energy that gets locked in the body around real or perceived threat." - Ilene Smith
“Trauma can be a series of lots of little things.” - Ilene Smith
“The way we’re living could be the residuals of those childhood experiences.” - Ilene Smith
“As a kid growing up, we don’t know, ‘Oh wait, I’m emotionally not safe.’” - Michelle Chalfant
“When there’s childhood trauma, relationships are much harder when you enter adulthood.” - Ilene Smith
“There’s usually something unhealed if we can’t attach in healthy ways.” - Ilene Smith
“When we get into reactivity, we don’t get into our experience.” - Ilene Smith
“The healing journey is about the body.” - Michelle Chalfant
“When you think about going towards a distraction, think about what it might be like to get into your body in a safe way.” - Ilene Smith
LINKS & RESOURCES
Ilene Smith Website
Ilene Smith Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/ilenesmithhealing/
“Moving Beyond Trauma” (Ilene Smith book)
https://movingbeyondtrauma.co/
ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) Test
The Adult Chair® Membership (March Theme: Self-compassion)
https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group
https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership
https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop
https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification
https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: 1 Listener
305: How To Build Healthy Relationships
The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair
03/10/22 • 30 min
Relationships are one of the most basic human needs, but building healthy relationships takes self-awareness and work. While we talk a lot about behaviors that can make a relationship unhealthy, such as narcissism and gaslighting (which are both more than unhealthy – they’re abuse), I thought it was time to talk about what makes a relationship a keeper.
What traits can you look to as your benchmark to see if your relationship is healthy and what should you aspire to if you’re working on creating healthier relationships in your life?
In this episode, I’m sharing eight traits that healthy relationships have in common – whether that’s a relationship with a partner, friend, family member or anyone!
Listen to discover:
- The 8 qualities of a healthy relationship
- What an apology is and what it isn’t
- How to have open, honest communication
- Relationship truths to live by
This doesn’t mean you have to get this right 100% of the time to be healthy, but healthy people DO work to repair mistakes and deepen connection, and that is what these practices will help you do.
Remember that, while it takes two to tango, you can change the dance of your relationship just by working on yourself. As you live more authentically from your Adult Chair, you will find the way you respond to others and the way you show up and communicate changes. If you’re in a relationship with another healthy individual, they will be drawn to match your energy and meet you with more authenticity, vulnerability and openness – the keys to connection.
“We don’t need to change other people to become who we want them to be.” - Michelle Chalfant
“If you hurt someone you care about, you apologize.” - Michelle Chalfant
“People in healthy relationships are interested in knowing what you need.” - Michelle Chalfant
“We remember to use the word ‘I’ and not ‘you.’ We express OUR needs.” - Michelle Chalfant
“Relationships take work – they really do.” - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES
Episode #302: Gaslighting 101
https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/302-gaslighting-101/
Episode #301: Narcissism 101: What It Is & How To Heal It
https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/301/
Episode #261: How to Receive a Boundary from Your Adult Chair
https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/261/
Adult Chair® Coaches
https://theadultchair.com/coaches/
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership
https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop
https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification
https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
1 Listener
302: Gaslighting 101
The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair
02/17/22 • 26 min
You love them, and you think they love you...so why does it feel like you’re going crazy so often in your relationship?
You leave conversations feeling confused, questioning your reality and maybe even questioning your own sanity.
You might be in a relationship with a gaslighter.
Gaslighting is a term that is thrown around frequently, but it is far more than someone questioning us or challenging us. Gaslighting is intentional, manipulative and designed to whittle away someone’s self-confidence. In short, it’s abuse.
Though gaslighting often happens in romantic relationships with narcissists, it can also happen in friendships and family relationships, with men and women and with people who don’t struggle with narcissistic traits but who might struggle with control issues or other mental disorders.
In this episode, I’m sharing what gaslighting is, what it looks like in real life and ways to tell if you’re being gaslighted.
Listen to discover:
- What gaslighting is
- What it looks like and sounds like
- 5 tactics of a gaslighter
- 2 signs you might be in a relationship with a gaslighter
- What to do if you're being gaslighted
The term “gaslighting” actually comes from a 1944 movie about a man who tries to make his wife think she’s going insane...and that is exactly how being gaslighted feels – crazy making!
If you are experiencing this type of abuse, you can start the healing process by building up self-worth and finding people who can help guide you back to what is true about you and your life. The more connected you are to yourself, the better you will be able to see what is real and what is not and make decisions about how to move forward.
"Gaslighting – let's be clear – it's abusive." - Michelle Chalfant
"If someone is gaslighting you, you're going to feel confused, and confused a lot." - Michelle Chalfant
"Gaslighting is all about manipulation, power and control." - Michelle Chalfant
"'I'm sorry you feel that way,' is not an apology." - Michelle Chalfant
"When the person that you love keeps speaking to you like this, it wears you down." - Michelle Chalfant
"A gaslighter is the eternal victim." - Michelle Chalfant
"If someone is gaslighting you, stay in your own reality. Do not challenge them...you'll never win." - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES
Episode #301: Narcissism 101: What It Is & How To Heal It
https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/301/
The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group
https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership
https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop
https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification
https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
1 Listener
253: Codependency and Anger with Michelle Farris
The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair
03/11/21 • 46 min
Those who struggle with codependency often struggle with anger as well...but not in the way you might think. Unlike ragers or those with explosive anger, codependents tend to stuff and suppress anger to please others and avoid conflict...often not even knowing what they’re feeling themselves. This is just as unhealthy!
We need anger to guide us towards our needs and connect us to our experience. Anger, when expressed in a healthy way, can also lead to healthier relationships as we begin telling others how we feel and resolving problems before they turn into resentment.
Today, I’m talking with Michelle Farris, a licensed psychotherapist and anger management specialist, who is sharing her experience of learning to own and communicate her anger. She talks about how codependency forms, why feeling our anger is important and how to begin overcoming the fear of conflict and expressing yourself in relationships.
Listen to discover:
- Concrete examples of what people pleasing looks like
- The importance of validating emotions
- Beginning recovery from codependency
- How to catch the first thought and regulate anger (while still owning it)
- How to communicate your anger in a healthy way
Anger is such an important human emotion...I think of it as rocket fuel to propel us towards what we want. When we’re codependent and don’t know ourselves, anger can be a key way to tap into our core needs and desires. It’s not selfish to look inward...and what you tap into inside of yourself might surprise you.
"Whenever we hit a road bump, I always remember there's going to be a huge gift on the other side of that." - Michelle Farris
"Healthy anger is us owning how we feel in the moment." - Michelle Farris
"When we stuff our anger, we're denying our own experience." - Michelle Farris
"I think of anger as rocket fuel. It really helps to push us forward in life." - Michelle Chalfant
"We don't cross the finish and feel 100% healthy. We are all a work in progress. But the thing you want to be doing is making sure you're walking forward on your journey." - Michelle Chalfant
“As you get healthier, you will attract healthier people into your circle.” - Michelle Chalfant
Resources
Michelle Farris Website
https://www.counselingrecovery.com/
Michelle Farris Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/CounselingRecovery/
Michelle Farris Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/counseling_recovery/
Episode #11: Codependency: I’m Ok If You’re Ok
https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/11-codependency-im-ok-if-youre-ok/
Episode #127: Codependency: Ending the Addiction to Help Others
https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/127-codependency-ending-the-addiction-to-help-others/
Episode #172: The Joy of Codependency
https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/172-the-joy-of-codependency/
TAC Circles
https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/
(Previously “TAC Gatherings”)
P&G Hair Food
Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart
More Adult Chair
The Adult Chair Website
The Adult Chair Membership
https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair Workshop
https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair Coaching Certification
https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/
TAC Circles
https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/
(Previously “TAC Gatherings”)
Stay Connected
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/
The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
YouTube: ...
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FAQ
How many episodes does The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair have?
The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair currently has 480 episodes available.
What topics does The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair cover?
The podcast is about Health & Fitness, Anxiety, Selfhelp, Mental Health, Depression, Transformation, Selflove, Podcasts, Codependency, Self-Improvement, Education and Relationships.
What is the most popular episode on The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair?
The episode title '263: Finding your True Self with Dr. Shefali' is the most popular.
What is the average episode length on The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair?
The average episode length on The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair is 40 minutes.
How often are episodes of The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair released?
Episodes of The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair are typically released every 7 days.
When was the first episode of The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair?
The first episode of The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair was released on Nov 21, 2014.
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Comments
@raylovesdonuts
Oct 5
My wife and I have been listening to "The Adult Chair" for years. Truly great content! Love the show and appreciate Michelle's grounded and spiritual approach. This is one of my favorite podcasts!
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