295: Holiday Special: How to Change Negative Programs and Patterns with Adele Spraggon
12/30/21 • 66 min
1 Listener
When you think about wanting to change or transform, what do you typically think of changing? Most of us think of a behavior or action – something we are doing. If we’ve been doing our work for a while, we might think of a thought pattern or belief.
But what if everything we do and think is just the tip of the iceberg? What if our actions, behaviors and beliefs are actually the manifestation of deep unconscious patterns in our brains, and if true transformation happens by transforming these patterns?
In this episode, I talk with the incredible Adele Spraggon, a behavioral change and brain expert, about what drives human behavior, why traditional methods of change fail and how we can identify and transform the unconscious patterns that drive our behavior without us even knowing it.
We’re covering so many topics from relationships to money (because the brain affects them all!), and you will learn Adele’s four-step process for working with negative patterns, even those in your subconscious mind.
I LOVED my conversation with Adele – a true soul sister who speaks The Adult Chair® language – and I know you will too.
Listen to discover:
- Why simply trying to change behavior doesn’t work
- The real reason why you do what you do
- The problem with goal setting
- How to actually transform actions, behaviors and beliefs
- Steps to changing unconscious brain patterns
- Surrender vs. acceptance
- How this can change your relationship with money, your partner, your family, etc.
Too often we try to change only the external or we try to simply work against the negative patterns in our brain, and we wonder why our lives don’t change. As you will learn in this episode, the key is that we have to get rid of the old pattern before we can replace it with a new one...and this episode will show you how!
“How we are taught to change behaviors is not effective. What we need to do is deal with our brain’s patterning instead of the actions that we're taking, the beliefs that we’re holding or the behaviors we’re adopting.” - Adele Spraggon
“Between us and our situations, there lives an interpreter, and that interpreter is our brain.” - Adele Spraggon
“We create this roadmap from [age] 0 to 6 that we’re living in as adults.” - Michelle Chalfant
“Mindset originates in the unconscious patterning of the brain.” - Adele Spraggon
“I love triggers because so much is revealed in a trigger.” - Michelle Chalfant
“People don’t procrastinate. We avoid.” - Adele Spraggon
“Everything about who a person is today is the result of every pattern that has brought them here.” - Adele Spraggon
“The biggest gift you can give another person is to allow that person to show up brand new every time you see them.” - Adele Spraggon
LINKS & RESOURCES
Adele Spraggon Website
https://www.adelespraggon.com/
“Shift: 4 Steps to Personal Empowerment” (Adele Spraggon Book)
2022 Adult Chair® Membership
2022 Theme: A Year of Conscious Living
https://courses.theadultchair.com/offers/U6FHGTjV/checkout
P&G Hair Food
Or find on Amazon or Target.com
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership
https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop
https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!)
https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
When you think about wanting to change or transform, what do you typically think of changing? Most of us think of a behavior or action – something we are doing. If we’ve been doing our work for a while, we might think of a thought pattern or belief.
But what if everything we do and think is just the tip of the iceberg? What if our actions, behaviors and beliefs are actually the manifestation of deep unconscious patterns in our brains, and if true transformation happens by transforming these patterns?
In this episode, I talk with the incredible Adele Spraggon, a behavioral change and brain expert, about what drives human behavior, why traditional methods of change fail and how we can identify and transform the unconscious patterns that drive our behavior without us even knowing it.
We’re covering so many topics from relationships to money (because the brain affects them all!), and you will learn Adele’s four-step process for working with negative patterns, even those in your subconscious mind.
I LOVED my conversation with Adele – a true soul sister who speaks The Adult Chair® language – and I know you will too.
Listen to discover:
- Why simply trying to change behavior doesn’t work
- The real reason why you do what you do
- The problem with goal setting
- How to actually transform actions, behaviors and beliefs
- Steps to changing unconscious brain patterns
- Surrender vs. acceptance
- How this can change your relationship with money, your partner, your family, etc.
Too often we try to change only the external or we try to simply work against the negative patterns in our brain, and we wonder why our lives don’t change. As you will learn in this episode, the key is that we have to get rid of the old pattern before we can replace it with a new one...and this episode will show you how!
“How we are taught to change behaviors is not effective. What we need to do is deal with our brain’s patterning instead of the actions that we're taking, the beliefs that we’re holding or the behaviors we’re adopting.” - Adele Spraggon
“Between us and our situations, there lives an interpreter, and that interpreter is our brain.” - Adele Spraggon
“We create this roadmap from [age] 0 to 6 that we’re living in as adults.” - Michelle Chalfant
“Mindset originates in the unconscious patterning of the brain.” - Adele Spraggon
“I love triggers because so much is revealed in a trigger.” - Michelle Chalfant
“People don’t procrastinate. We avoid.” - Adele Spraggon
“Everything about who a person is today is the result of every pattern that has brought them here.” - Adele Spraggon
“The biggest gift you can give another person is to allow that person to show up brand new every time you see them.” - Adele Spraggon
LINKS & RESOURCES
Adele Spraggon Website
https://www.adelespraggon.com/
“Shift: 4 Steps to Personal Empowerment” (Adele Spraggon Book)
2022 Adult Chair® Membership
2022 Theme: A Year of Conscious Living
https://courses.theadultchair.com/offers/U6FHGTjV/checkout
P&G Hair Food
Or find on Amazon or Target.com
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership
https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop
https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!)
https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
Previous Episode
294: Holiday Special: Childhood Emotional Neglect with Dr. Jonice Webb
Do you find yourself feeling unfulfilled and empty, despite seemingly having everything you need to be happy? Do you crave closer relationships but feel like you can’t connect at the deep level you want?
These feelings can often be subtle signs of childhood emotional neglect, which is when our parents or caregivers didn’t tend to or validate our emotions as children. This sets us up for an adult life where we don’t know how to feel our own emotions — which is essential to experiencing joy, passion and connection!
In this show, I’m chatting with Dr. Jonice Webb, a psychologist and author and a highly requested guest in The Adult Chair® community, about how to spot childhood emotional neglect and how to begin the process of accessing your emotions as an adult. This show is filled with incredible insights into an issue that unknowingly affects so many of us and how to heal from it.
Listen to discover:
- What childhood emotional neglect is
- Why invalidating our feelings leads to shame
- How childhood emotional neglect affects adult relationships
- What emotional intimacy is
- Rebuilding from childhood emotional neglect
- Steps to start your healing journey
Childhood emotional neglect isn’t necessarily abuse; in fact, it can happen in very loving, well-meaning homes. But anything that disconnects us from our emotions — our inner navigation system and a key to living in The Adult Chair — is going to keep us from living the happy, fulfilled life we all dream of. I hope this episode encourages you to look inward and connect with the deepest parts of who you are. That is how you will experience the fullness of life and connection with others!
“We need our feelings to survive and thrive in our adult life.” - Dr. Jonice Webb
“Eventually the child brain just erects a wall so that you don’t have to feel anything, and that wall stays there until you take it down.” - Dr. Jonice Webb
“Men have the equal capacity or ability to feel all emotions because they’re human.” - Michelle Chalfant
“What you have inside is a constellation of how your parents treated your feelings.” - Dr. Jonice Webb
“Emotions are the expression of your deepest self.” - Dr. Jonice Webb
“Emotions are our built-in navigation system, and they guide us.” - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES
Dr. Jonice Webb Website
“Running on Empty” (Dr. Jonice Webb book)
https://drjonicewebb.com/the-book/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!)
https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/
P&G Hair Food
Or find on Amazon or Target.com
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership
https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop
https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification
https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
Next Episode
296: How Self-Validation Will Change Your Life
In my 25 years of practicing as a therapist and holistic life coach, I found that there was one common root cause behind many of the issues my clients were facing: low self-worth. From codependency to difficulty with decisions or boundaries, not having a strong connection with the inner self was often the driving force behind these challenges.
Most of us have a tendency to look outside of ourselves for worth and validation, and building up a strong sense of who we are on the inside takes practice. One of the simplest and most powerful places to start is with self-validation.
Self-validation is when we notice who we are – our actions, thoughts and feelings – and we affirm ourselves. It’s not bragging or comparing ourselves to others but rather speaking truth to ourselves and cheering ourselves on...which not only builds up our sense of self-worth but also leads to healthier relationships as we stop looking to others to validate us.
In this episode, I’m sharing more about the power of self-validation and simple steps for how you can begin a practice of doing this every day. It literally takes seconds to do, and over time, it will change your life!
Listen to discover:
- What self-validation is and why it’s important
- The connection between self-validation and self-worth
- What self-validation looks like in real life
- Steps to starting a practice of self-validation
- The difference between self-validation and narcissism or bragging
No one can make us feel or believe something we don’t believe about ourselves. So, if we don’t have a sense of our own self-worth, no amount of validation from others is going to give us what we need. It’s an endless cycle of approval-seeking that never fills us up.
That’s why we have to lay a foundation of self-worth and believe in our own goodness so that when others validate us, we can actually let it land and show up more authentically – as the true self that we know and love.
“Self-validation starts a domino effect to help heal all of these things because self-validation starts to build self-worth.” - Michelle Chalfant
“Self-validation is when we notice what we’re doing or thinking or feeling and we acknowledge it, we own it and then we give ourselves a pat on the back about it.” - Michelle Chalfant
“If you want healthy relationships, start out by self-validating. It is unhealthy for us to rely on external validation.” - Michelle Chalfant
“Self-validation is the healthy way to feel good about self.” - Michelle Chalfant
“When you add that validation that takes seconds, my internal self gets built up, my self-worth gets built up, my sense of self becomes a little bit more positive.” - Michelle Chalfant
“It’s your job to share with others what you need.” - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!)
https://theadultchair.com/certification
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership
https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop
https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!)
https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
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