Know Them, Be Them, Raise Them

Self-Harm and kids. What parent isn’t struck with anxiety when they think of their child contemplating self harm? What leads to self-harm becoming an option?

(Warning: this episode discusses self-harm from an educational perspective. There are no personal stories or graphic experiences, but we do discuss what self-harm can look like. For some, this might be difficult or you may choose not to listen to this around young children. I encourage everyone to assess their situations, take care of themselves, and if you need additional resources, see the links to NAMI and the Crisis Textline below.)

In Ep. 40, Cai Graham unpacks all of this with host Carmelita (Cat) Tiu in a frank discussion about the origins of self-harm and how we can respond.

Some highlights:

• What self-harm is & isn’t
• The roots of tween & teen self-harm
• The 3 reasons kids say they self-harm
• The first thing to do when you discover your child is self harming
• What NOT to do when you find out about self-harm

Guest Bio:

Cai Graham is a Parenting & Teen Mentor, Podcaster, International Speaker and Amazon #1 bestselling author of The Teen ToolboxTM️. Cai has blended nearly three decades of motherhood with her background as a Master Practitioner in: NLP, Hypnotherapy and Coaching, together with her experience as a ChildLine counsellor to create her TEEN ToolboxTM️ Series which provides parents and teenagers with the tools to successfully navigate this vital (and sometimes rocky) stages of adolescence.

To learn more about Cai Graham:

• Visit www.caigraham.com
• Follow her on Instagram @caigraham
• Find her on Facebook - Facebook Page: @thecaigraham / Facebook Group: Parent & Teen Toolbox
• Check out her Amazon bestselling book: The Teen Toolbox

In this episode – references and additional resources:

• Nami.org - National Alliance for Mental Illness
• Learn more: https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Common-with-Mental-Illness/Self-harm
• Crisis Textline: Text CONNECT to 741741
• Learn more: https://www.crisistextline.org/topics/self-harm/#types-of-self-harm-2

Know Them, Be Them, Raise Them

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Have you noticed a confidence dip in your tween or teen girl? You aren’t dreaming...it’s a real thing.

Today's article, "5 Steps to Helping Our Daughters Grow Up With More Confidence," comes from Briana Beazley. Briana is founder of NadiaGirl, a tween girls clothing brand focused on empowering young girls by creating comfortable clothing that fits well, to help them feel more confident.

When Briana’s daughter was entering her tween years, shopping for her was discouraging and frustrating. There were limited options, and the clothes were not age-appropriate, didn’t fit well, or were poor quality. She saw how this impacted her daughter’s confidence and decided to do something about it. Soon after that, Nadia Girl was born, and Briana began writing about issues affecting tween girls.

In this episode, you’ll learn ways you can help boost your daughter’s confidence, such as normalizing failure, encouraging risk taking, and more.

Key mentions/concepts:

• "The Confidence Code for Girls," by Claire Shipman, Katty Kay, and JillEllyn Riley. www.confidencecodegirls.com
• Enclothed Cognition - see How Clothing Choices Affect and Reflect Your Self-Image, by Jill Ferguson. Retrieved from www.huffpost.com.
• For high quality, sustainable clothes with a proprietary fit made for tween girls’ changing bodies, visit www.nadiagirl.com, and follow NadiaGirl on Instagram @nadiagirl.

Know Them, Be Them, Raise Them

• New episodes drop every Tuesday (and sometimes in between). Subscribe here: Apple, Spotify, Google.
• For more doses of information and inspiration:
• follow on Instagram
• sign up for our monthly newsletter
• visit www.knowberaisethem.com

As moms, we are powerful creatures. We know we have an impact on our children’s lives, and our families.

But have you ever wondered, “How can I be a part of even bigger changes, bigger movements?”

In today’s episode, Cynthia Changyit Levin, author of From Changing Diapers to Changing the World: Why Moms Make Great Advocates & How to Get Started - discusses advocacy, motherhood, and points us in the direction to make even broader societal changes.

Cynthia:

• Gives us a simple definition of advocacy
• Shares how she got started
• Outlines the benefits of advocacy and tween & teen girls
• Demystifies the process
• Empowers us to get started!

For more info and to follow Cynthia Changyit Levin:

• www.changyit.com
• Instagram: @ccylevin
• Twitter: @ccylevin
• On International Women’s Day, March 8, you’ll be able to order From Changing Diapers to Changing the World: Why Moms Make Great Advocates & How to Get Started on Amazon and your favorite bookstores. But before March 8, 2022, you can order an autographed copy at www.changyit.com/books

Other references in this episode:

• Sunrise Movement- Youth org for climate justice – https://www.sunrisemovement.org/
• UNICEF UNITE - youth clubs for global health – https://www.unicefusa.org/startaclub
• RESULTS – www.results.org
• FCNL (Friends Committee on National Legislation) – https://www.fcnl.org/
• Citizens’ Climate Lobby – https://citizensclimatelobby.org/
• "The Path: Creating Your Mission Statement for Work and For Life” by Laurie Beth Jones

Know Them, Be Them, Raise Them

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What woman hasn’t disliked part of her face at some point? My nose is too big. I don’t like my profile. My forehead is too big. I wish my lips were fuller.

Val Monroe, former beauty editor for O, The Oprah Magazine and writer of the popular Substack newsletter How Not to F*ck Up Your Face, and Body Relationship Coach Debbie Saroufim, chat with host Carmelita Tiu about grappling with beauty standards, objectification, and how we can shift our perspectives as our bodies and faces change through our lives.

We cover:

• What objectification means
• Mirror meditation - what it is, why it works
• The roots of beauty standards and our dissatisfaction
• Sitting with discomfort
• Feeling beautiful vs. being beautiful

Today's Guests

To learn more about Debbie Saroufim, visit www.bodyrelationship.com and follow her on Instagram @bodyrelationship_coach. And check out her Parents Guide, for what NOT to say to your kids if you want them to have a health relationship with their bodies.

Want to feel happier about your appearance—especially as you age—you might like reading more about what Val has to say about it. Subscribe for free to How Not to F*ck Up Your Face at valeriemonroe.substack.com. You can find her on Instagram at @thisisvalmonroe.

About Your Host, Carmelita / Cat / Millie Tiu

Mom, spouse, coach, podcaster, wordsmith, legal eagle. Endlessly curious about how we can show up better for ourselves – because when we do that, we also show up better for our kids and those around us. Visit carmelitatiu.com to learn more about Cat, and for info on 1:1 coaching, the mom collective, and her monthly newsletter.

Know Them, Be Them, Raise Them

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For more doses of information and inspiration:

• follow on Instagram @knowberaisethem
• sign up for our monthly newsletter
• visit knowberaisethem.com

AND - if you're a growth-oriented mom who wants to defy expectation and lead a legacy-worthy life, visit carmelitatiu.com to set up a 30 min complimentary coaching consult with me!

“I’m Speaking.” We all remember that simple-yet-powerful Kamala Harris statement, right?

We encourage our daughters to be assertive, share their stories, and speak up. But when we teach them that interrupting is impolite and rude, are we inadvertently undermining their ability to rightfully claim airtime -- even if they’re interrupted by someone else? Will they choose politeness over being heard? Will they be afraid to assert themselves in a lively discussion, afraid that they’ll offend?

Listen to hear:

• The different social norms for boys and girls
• Disparities in how much men talk versus women in executive settings
• When to interrupt back
• The 10 words every girl needs to learn, according to Soraya Chemaly
• Sample phrases illustrating different ways to interrupt
• What to tell your daughters to make them feel more comfortable with interrupting

Key mentions/concepts:

• Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger, by Soraya Chemaly. www.sorayachemaly.com
• "10 Simple Words Every Girl Should Learn," by Soraya Chemaly. Retrieved from www.rolereboot.org.
• "The Art of Interruption, Or 'how to speak up without feeling like an asshole' (#BullCon14 Guest Post)" by Julie Fogh and Casey Erin Clarke of Vital Voice.

Know Them, Be Them, Raise Them

• New episodes drop every Tuesday (and sometimes in between). Subscribe here: Apple, Spotify, Google.
• For more doses of information and inspiration:
• follow on Instagram
• sign up for our monthly newsletter

visit www.knowberaisethem.com