Couplehood
Allison Villa
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Top 10 Couplehood Episodes
Goodpods has curated a list of the 10 best Couplehood episodes, ranked by the number of listens and likes each episode have garnered from our listeners. If you are listening to Couplehood for the first time, there's no better place to start than with one of these standout episodes. If you are a fan of the show, vote for your favorite Couplehood episode by adding your comments to the episode page.
Anniversary Inspiration
Couplehood
04/19/21 • 8 min
“There are only two things that you need to do to make your anniversary special for you and for your kids.”
— Allison Villa
How do you celebrate a special anniversary in a meaningful way while in the middle of a pandemic?
Anniversaries are a wonderful milestone for several reasons — they’re an opportunity to celebrate your relationship, look back on much you’ve grown together, and spend some time reconnecting on a romantic level.
On a personal level, this is a special episode of the podcast, as my husband Arjan and I celebrated our 10-year anniversary recently!
Arjan and I spent some time last year discussing how we wanted to celebrate this milestone. We even talked about possibly taking a trip to Iceland.
(This was before the onset of the pandemic. Obviously, we didn’t end up taking the trip, though we may still do so in the future!)
During a pandemic, dining out or traveling aren’t the easy options that they used to be, if they’re options at all. But, that’s actually okay! Because while grand gestures and big plans are a lovely way to celebrate your relationship, you do not have to go all out to mark your anniversary with meaning.
In order to make the day meaningful for both you and your partner and for your children, you really only need to do two things:
- Do one thing for you and your partner as a couple.
- Do one thing with your partner and children as a family.
In the case of couple time, you will need to ask for help from your extended family, friends, or community to make it happen, but this time spent as a couple will be so beneficial for your relationship.
Listen to the episode to learn more about the simple, meaningful things that you can do to mark your anniversary (even in lockdown), and how Arjan and I celebrated our 10 years together.
In this episode of Couplehood, you’ll discover:
- Why it’s so important to include your kids in your anniversary celebrations
- The #1 reason why the people around you will likely be happy to help you celebrate your anniversary as a couple
- How to let yourself be open to receiving the support that you need
“When you’re marking your anniversary, find a way to ask your community for support... If you don’t ask, then you’re not able to receive that support.”
— Allison Villa
Highlights:
- 00:37 10-year anniversary!
- 01:19 Mark your anniversary with meaning
- 01:34 Help from your community
- 02:27 What it looked like for us
- 05:05 Celebrating as a family
- 07:00 Letting yourself receive support
Links:
Work With Me:
Follow Me on Instagram:
https://instagram.com/allison__villa
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!
The Coping Season
Couplehood
03/01/21 • 15 min
“Every couple goes through the Coping season. And if you’re not in the Coping season right now at this moment, you’ll be there again at some point. We all go through it.”
— Allison Villa
This episode takes a deep dive into the first of our four relationship seasons: the Coping season.
The Coping season is a rough patch in your relationship, typically caused by one or more life events pulling your time and energy away from your relationship, and sucking up your attention and resources.
External factors that can pull you into a Coping season include events like losing a job or taking a new one, having a new baby, a death in the family, a move or renovation... or a global pandemic.
Internal factors include trust breakdowns, financial problems, infidelity (physical or emotional), or even just feeling as if your partner never really hears you.
Whether voluntary or involuntary, the impact of these events is the same. You only have 24 hours in a day and only so much energy — if you give it all to one area in your life, you’re taking it away from another.
Often, that other area is your relationship.
That doesn’t make you a bad person or even a bad partner!
Every couple experiences the Coping season — honestly, I’d be a little concerned if you didn’t!
What matters is how you move through it... together, as a couple.
Will it weaken your bond and push you apart? Or will you use it as an opportunity for growth and even deeper connection?
Listen to the episode to learn:
- The external and internal factors that can spark the onset of a Coping season in your relationship
- How to recognize when you need community support to make it through the Coping season as parents
- The #1 tip for nurturing your connection and creating touchpoints with your partner
“The challenges in your relationship are your greatest opportunity for connection.”
— Allison Villa
Highlights:
- 01:17 External factors
- 03:03 Internal factors
- 04:12 The Coping season is inevitable
- 05:38 What the Coping season could look like
- 08:29 Pandemic coping
- 10:31 Lonely while together
- 11:02 Your Coping action item
Links:
Quiz: What's Your Relationship Season?
https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/5f984bffa2c7af0014e9a0b7
Work With Me:
Follow Me on Instagram:
https://instagram.com/allison__villa
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!
Love During Lockdown
Couplehood
02/01/21 • 14 min
“How do we carve out time for our relationship when we’re just processing so much ourselves as individuals and taking care of the needs of our children?”
— Allison Villa
With the lockdown regulations constantly shifting, it’s hard to find your rhythm as a parent. Kids thrive when they have routines and dealing with work and school from home has been a huge challenge for many of us.
On top of that, many of us are feeling ‘pandemic fatigue’ after nearly a year of isolation and doom-filled news stories.
And these added stresses can have a big impact on our relationships.
In times like these, it’s more important than ever to make time to work on your connection with your partner.
In this episode of Couplehood, I share some of my favourite simple daily and weekly actions to strengthen your relationship.
One of the most important areas to tackle is sleep.
If your children sleep through the night, you’re already winning the lottery. If you have small children who don’t sleep through the night, this already challenging situation is going to be more challenging. While you don’t have access to a wider circle of support during lockdown, you and your partner can support each other by giving each other space for naps during the day or alternating nights with the baby.
From sleep schedules to home office placement to planning out the school day, you have so many opportunities to make choices that deepen your connection.
Listen to the episode to discover:
- People-pleaser problems — and how to avoid letting them make life more challenging
- The importance of rethinking how you use the space in your home
- The #1 small thing that you should be putting in your schedule every single week
“The challenges in your life are your greatest opportunity for growth and deeper connection as a couple.”
— Allison Villa
Highlights:
- 00:32 Finding rhythm in lockdown
- 01:57 Sleep is the foundation
- 05:17 Assess & adjust
- 06:50 People-pleaser problems
- 08:02 Scheduling updates
- 09:00 Rethink your home layout
- 10:22 Do something thoughtful!
- 12:34 Recap
Links:
Work With Me:
Follow Me on Instagram:
https://instagram.com/allison__villa
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!
Taking Pause. Permission To Go Inwards.
Couplehood
10/25/21 • 12 min
“Let this be your permission to go inwards and listen to the answers that are already within you.”
— Allison Villa
Hello dear friends - some bittersweet news to share...
This will be the final episode of the Couplehood podcast. (I may return once again or re-direct my energy into other projects...we shall see!)
After much reflection, I’ve decided to take a pause on many aspects of my work life.
In this episode, I share why I’ve come to this decision, the passage that inspired me to go inwards, as well as some reflection questions to help you reflect on your own journey.
Over the past 20 months, my work as a psychotherapist has given me great purpose. Supporting my clients through mental health challenges has been a great privilege.
On a personal level, this past year and a half has brought a lot of personal change. Our family moved from Toronto, where we lived for 20 years, and are now living 2 hours north, in the countryside. The home that we’ve been building for the past year, will be ready for us to move into in January. I want to be intentional with finding our flow as a family in this new space.
In this episode of Couplehood, you’ll discover:
- Why Allison is taking a pause on recording new episodes
- The passage that inspired this change
- The balance between “doing” and “being”
- Reflection questions for you
Thank you for being on this Couplehood journey with me! Stay in touch by joining my email list - this is the best way to stay in touch, as I won’t be on social media very much moving forward.
This is not a goodbye - it’s “see you soon”!
Big Love,
Allison
“Children have the most beautiful way of both being and doing. They are able to run with the wind. Let them be your greatest teachers and guides along this journey.”
— Allison Villa
Links:
Quiz: What's Your Relationship Season? [join my email list here]
https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/5f984bffa2c7af0014e9a0b7
Work With Me:
https://www.allisonvilla.com
Follow Me on Instagram:
https://instagram.com/allison__villa
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!
Simple Ways To Show Love Every Day
Couplehood
10/18/21 • 11 min
“The day to day moments are just as meaningful as the date nights you have.”
— Allison Villa
How do we show love every day, when family life is so full-on?
I get this question a lot.
This is why I created the Love.Every.Day. series every Tuesday on Instagram...and now, also on the podcast!
Love.Every.Day tips are simple yet powerful ways to show your love to each other.
If you’ve been around for a while, you’ll know how much I advocate showing your kids what a loving relationship looks like, because how you love each other today lives on for generations.
Let’s continue to build an army of parents who are creating honest + sustainable relationships.
These tips are a gentle reminder that on those busy family days, it’s still possible to show your kids what love looks like in action.
In this episode of Couplehood, you’ll discover:
- How Love.Every.Day. impacts your kids
- Why showing your love everyday is so important
- Some tips to help you get started showing and receiving Love.Every.Day.
“Children want to feel purposeful and they like having a sense of responsibility, like they are part of the team. So let them.
— Allison Villa
Highlights:
00:38 Setting an example of love
01:40 Get some sleep
03:00 Be playful
04:03 Create a centerpiece
05:30 Play games
06:28 Meal plan together!
09:40 Recap
Links:
Quiz: What's Your Relationship Season?
https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/5f984bffa2c7af0014e9a0b7
Work With Me:
Follow Me on Instagram:
https://instagram.com/allison__villa
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!
10 Lessons from 10 Years of Parenthood
Couplehood
10/11/21 • 12 min
“The best measure of your parenting is your child’s happiness.”
— Allison Villa
Have you ever stopped to think about what lessons you have learned in parenthood?
Recently, I’ve celebrated a huge milestone in my life; 10 years of motherhood.
In today’s episode of Couplehood, I took some time to reflect on what I’ve learned in my 10 years of parenting and what I would tell myself 10 years ago when I began my motherhood journey.
As you listen, I encourage you to reflect on your own parenting journey and write down the lessons that you’ve learned along the way.
I find it helpful to find compassion for my younger self, as a new mother, and I hope that you share that grace with yourself as well.
In this episode of Couplehood, you’ll discover:
- What the true measure of your parenting is
- How your childhood plays a role in your children’s childhood
- What to do when you make a mistake as a parent
- How important your relationships with your partner and your friends are in your parenthood journey
“Our children are our mirrors and they reflect our own inner-child wounds that may still need healing. Let your children be your guide to keep going inwards and understanding yourself.”
— Allison Villa
Highlights:
01:36 You can’t get an A in parenting
02:57 Repair ruptures
03:50 Make time for yourself
04:38 Grief and growth
05:10 Make your own choices
05:55 Your children’s childhood is their’s
07:46 Prioritize your couple
08:40 Friendships will change
09:30 Vacation
10:54 Change direction
Links:
Quiz: What's Your Relationship Season?
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!
Baby Shower vs. Blessing Way
Couplehood
10/04/21 • 13 min
“A Blessing Way is traditionally when multi-generations come together to celebrate & support the mother-to-be before baby’s arrival.”
— Allison Villa
Today’s episode of the Couplehood podcast is for those of you that are expecting, or have someone in your life that’s expecting. We’re going to cover the difference between a Baby Shower and a Blessing Way.
If you’ve never heard of a Blessing Way - don’t worry - I’m going to fill you in!
I recently hosted a Blessing Way that had a unique twist from the traditional ceremony. This one celebrated both the mother and father-to-be - such a beautiful way to honour and support their couple as they transition into parenthood. A great reminder that you can design a Baby Shower or Blessing Way, in whatever way is right for you, your family, and your community.
In this episode, I provide you with some ideas that you can use in planning your own Blessing Way, and simple touches to personalize it to your needs.
In this episode of Couplehood, you’ll discover:
- What is a Blessing Way
- Ideas & details about the ceremony
- How you can host your own
“In the circle, you are accessing your heritage and the generations that live within you.”
— Allison Villa
Highlights:
00:23 The Couplehood Podcast
01:10 What is a baby shower?
02:27 What is a blessing way?
05:17 Ideas for your blessing way
07:10 Guests
09:30 Affirming words
10:00 Lighting candles
12:47 Recap
Links:
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!
From Cautious To Courageous
Couplehood
09/27/21 • 34 min
“I want our kids to see the support we give each other. You can have differences, but still be loving and supportive of each other.”
— Sarah
Today’s episode is part of my limited Sandbox Spotlight series, which features interviews with real-life couples talking about their real-life experiences navigating the 4 Relationship Seasons, developing better communication skills, and deepening their connection.
If you haven’t listened to my episodes on the Relationship Seasons, I recommend you check them out first!
My guests for this episode are Sarah and Steve. They have been together for 14 years and have 4 children, ages 9, 7, 4, and 2.
Sarah and Steve are currently in the Coping Season (or Connected Season, depending on who took the quiz!). Over the past year they have had multiple external factors pulling their time and energy, including home renovations, a life-changing bicycle accident, and Steve’s new work as a freelancer, just to name a few.
With so many life events happening all at once, it’s naturally been difficult to carve out the time needed to focus on themselves as a couple. Having awareness around the Relationship Seasons and using the tools they learned through Couple’s Sandbox has helped them remember that seasons ebb and flow and the Coping Season doesn’t last forever.
In our conversation, Sarah and Steve share how they moved past their initial hesitations around joining Sandbox (group calls can seem scary!), and how they now look forward to connecting with the other couples in the community. It has been a source of relatable connection and normalizes the challenges that every couple goes through, plus it prompts meaningful conversation with each other!
In this episode of Couplehood, you’ll discover:
- How Sarah and Steve say that awareness around the Relationship Seasons has helped them
- Why being the Couple Sandbox community is so important
- How modelling and normalizing struggles that all couples benefit your whole family
“You have to be at ease with yourself before you can be at ease with each other.”
— Steve
Highlights:
00:24 The Sandbox Spotlight
01:50 Sarah and Steve
33:00 Gratitude
Links:
Work With Me:
Follow Me on Instagram:
https://instagram.com/allison__villa
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!
09/20/21 • 25 min
“You don’t need to know how it’s going to unfold. You just need to take the first step.”
— Allison Villa
In this episode we are continuing the Couple’s Sandbox Spotlight Series, but for this special episode, I invited my husband Arjan to join me! We share some insight into where our relationship is today.
If you’re a couple that has experienced a significant lifestyle change this year like a move to a new location, switching to homeschooling, or completing a reno, then this episode is for you.
Arjan shares that in the past year we’ve had a lot of external factors that have impacted our relationship, including homeschooling our two daughters, ages 7 and 9, renovating our River House, and the day-to-day struggles which (let’s be honest) often take precedence over our relationship.
These lifestyle shifts take a lot of time and energy, and add greatly to our mental load as a couple. We were both surprised by our results from the Relationship Season quiz. We each took the quiz separately and the results gave us a lot to talk about!
In this interview, Arjan and I talk about some of the challenges we’ve had recently, and how our foundation of self-care, communication, and trust, has helped us move through those challenges together.
In this episode of Couplehood, you’ll discover:
● How a strong foundation can keep you connected as a couple, even in times of change ● The importance of your relationship within your family unit - remembering that what happens within your couple filters down to your kids
● How self-compassion can bring more patience to everyone in your life
“When you have the foundations of emotional trust and solid communication, you can still feel deeply connected as a couple despite going through hard things. ”
— Allison Villa
Highlights:
00:40 Meet Arjan
02:46 What relationship season are we in?
04:51 The importance of couple time
06:51 Being in limbo
07:30 Connected
10:00 The learning curve
14:44 Practicing words of affirmation
18:10 Letting go of control
19:28 Finding self compassion
20:03 Keeping our vision in mind
22:20 Gratitude
Links:
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!
Stop Saying "Kids Are Resilient"
Couplehood
06/28/21 • 19 min
“Resiliency doesn’t happen by accident.”
— Allison Villa
It’s pretty common to hear people reassure each other (or themselves) with the phrase “Don’t worry, kids are resilient.” This saying is used as a way to minimize the effects of trauma, hardship, or stress on growing minds. It implies that resilience, the ability to bounce back without too many lasting effects, is an innate trait that all children are born with. It assumes that going through hard things just makes kids stronger automatically.
In fact, this isn’t actually the case. This common saying is not only inaccurate and reductionistic, but actually dangerous.
Resilience is something that must be learned and nurtured through a secure attachment bond — it doesn’t just develop on its own! And while resilience is an especially timely and important concept right now, developing resilience is extremely valuable for maintaining mental health in general! And childhood is by far the best time to do it.
There are many life events or circumstances that can strongly impact a child, from changing schools to moving to losing or being unable to visit a loved one. In this episode, I share a personal story from my own life about the pandemic lockdown which illustrates the importance of building resilience in children. You’ll also learn simple but powerful techniques that you can use to help your child develop this important skill!
There is never a better time to start developing resilience than right now. So let’s get started.
In this episode of Couplehood, you’ll discover:
✔ What resilience actually is — and how it’s developed through the caregiver-child bond
✔ The importance of moving through difficult situations WITH your children
✔ Actionable tools that you can use to help your children build resilience
“Our children have had a lot of things taken away from them over the past year.”
— Allison Villa
Highlights:
00:28 Introduction.
01:20 Personal pandemic story.
06:21 Help yourself as well as your child.
07:30 “Kids are resilient” is harmful.
09:14 How resilience develops.
11:20 Move through experiences together.
13:18 Show with words and actions.
14:05 Be aware and make time.
15:41 Model communication.
17:09 Recap.
Links:
Work With Me: https://www.allisonvilla.com
Follow Me on Instagram: https://instagram.com/allison__villa
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!
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FAQ
How many episodes does Couplehood have?
Couplehood currently has 44 episodes available.
What topics does Couplehood cover?
The podcast is about Parents, Society & Culture, Personal Growth, Personal Development, Self Help, Podcasts, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Mother, Relationships, Couples Therapy and Couples.
What is the most popular episode on Couplehood?
The episode title 'Simple Ways To Show Love Every Day' is the most popular.
What is the average episode length on Couplehood?
The average episode length on Couplehood is 17 minutes.
How often are episodes of Couplehood released?
Episodes of Couplehood are typically released every 7 days.
When was the first episode of Couplehood?
The first episode of Couplehood was released on Dec 16, 2020.
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