Moving, Homeschooling & Renovating: Allison & Arjan Reflect
09/20/21 • 25 min
“You don’t need to know how it’s going to unfold. You just need to take the first step.”
— Allison Villa
In this episode we are continuing the Couple’s Sandbox Spotlight Series, but for this special episode, I invited my husband Arjan to join me! We share some insight into where our relationship is today.
If you’re a couple that has experienced a significant lifestyle change this year like a move to a new location, switching to homeschooling, or completing a reno, then this episode is for you.
Arjan shares that in the past year we’ve had a lot of external factors that have impacted our relationship, including homeschooling our two daughters, ages 7 and 9, renovating our River House, and the day-to-day struggles which (let’s be honest) often take precedence over our relationship.
These lifestyle shifts take a lot of time and energy, and add greatly to our mental load as a couple. We were both surprised by our results from the Relationship Season quiz. We each took the quiz separately and the results gave us a lot to talk about!
In this interview, Arjan and I talk about some of the challenges we’ve had recently, and how our foundation of self-care, communication, and trust, has helped us move through those challenges together.
In this episode of Couplehood, you’ll discover:
● How a strong foundation can keep you connected as a couple, even in times of change ● The importance of your relationship within your family unit - remembering that what happens within your couple filters down to your kids
● How self-compassion can bring more patience to everyone in your life
“When you have the foundations of emotional trust and solid communication, you can still feel deeply connected as a couple despite going through hard things. ”
— Allison Villa
Highlights:
00:40 Meet Arjan
02:46 What relationship season are we in?
04:51 The importance of couple time
06:51 Being in limbo
07:30 Connected
10:00 The learning curve
14:44 Practicing words of affirmation
18:10 Letting go of control
19:28 Finding self compassion
20:03 Keeping our vision in mind
22:20 Gratitude
Links:
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!
“You don’t need to know how it’s going to unfold. You just need to take the first step.”
— Allison Villa
In this episode we are continuing the Couple’s Sandbox Spotlight Series, but for this special episode, I invited my husband Arjan to join me! We share some insight into where our relationship is today.
If you’re a couple that has experienced a significant lifestyle change this year like a move to a new location, switching to homeschooling, or completing a reno, then this episode is for you.
Arjan shares that in the past year we’ve had a lot of external factors that have impacted our relationship, including homeschooling our two daughters, ages 7 and 9, renovating our River House, and the day-to-day struggles which (let’s be honest) often take precedence over our relationship.
These lifestyle shifts take a lot of time and energy, and add greatly to our mental load as a couple. We were both surprised by our results from the Relationship Season quiz. We each took the quiz separately and the results gave us a lot to talk about!
In this interview, Arjan and I talk about some of the challenges we’ve had recently, and how our foundation of self-care, communication, and trust, has helped us move through those challenges together.
In this episode of Couplehood, you’ll discover:
● How a strong foundation can keep you connected as a couple, even in times of change ● The importance of your relationship within your family unit - remembering that what happens within your couple filters down to your kids
● How self-compassion can bring more patience to everyone in your life
“When you have the foundations of emotional trust and solid communication, you can still feel deeply connected as a couple despite going through hard things. ”
— Allison Villa
Highlights:
00:40 Meet Arjan
02:46 What relationship season are we in?
04:51 The importance of couple time
06:51 Being in limbo
07:30 Connected
10:00 The learning curve
14:44 Practicing words of affirmation
18:10 Letting go of control
19:28 Finding self compassion
20:03 Keeping our vision in mind
22:20 Gratitude
Links:
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!
Previous Episode
Finding Empathy Through The Coping Season
“I’m all about small steps that have a big impact.”
— Allison
If you’re a couple that’s in the Coping Season, this episode is for you! We’ll be exploring how couples deal with relationship stresses and learn how to communicate more effectively.
This episode is part of my limited Sandbox Spotlight series, which features interviews with real-life couples talking about their real-life experiences moving through the 4 Relationship Seasons. It’s honest, raw, and a reminder that we all go through ups and downs!
My guests for this episode are Alina and Mario, who have been together for over 11 years and are raising their 3-year-old daughter.
Alina and Mario were in the Coasting/Connecting Season before COVID, and have been in the Coping Season ever since. The reality of the pandemic has impacted many couples and families, and I’m grateful that Alina & Mario share their experience with such honesty and courage. Joining Couple’s Sandbox has helped them learn to connect through the challenges, and to find compassion for each other along the journey.
In this interview, we talk about how Alina & Mario have been able to keep empathy in their relationship by consistently expressing what they need, and how they feel during the Coping Season.
In this episode of Couplehood, you’ll discover:
● How to have empathy during the Coping Season
● The importance of small shifts in nurturing your relationship
● How being open-minded with your partner leads to a shared vision
Note: If you haven’t listened to my episodes on the 4 Relationship Seasons, I recommend you check them out first. This will help you to understand your own season, and also help you to connect more deeply when we refer to the seasons in our podcast conversations.
“It’s just important to take steps, the path will unveil itself along the way”
— Mario
Highlights:
00:35 About Couple’s Sandbox
02:33 Meet Alina and Mario
06:32 Anxiety through Covid
12:51 Our relationship needed TLC
13:37 Excited to join Sandbox
14:42 Light at the end of the tunnel
15:08 Community creates hope
16:12 Small takeaways bring big perspective shifts
17:16 Love languages
19:45 Moving through the seasons
23:03 Gratitude
26:59 Should you join Couple’s Sandbox?
Links:
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!
Next Episode
From Cautious To Courageous
“I want our kids to see the support we give each other. You can have differences, but still be loving and supportive of each other.”
— Sarah
Today’s episode is part of my limited Sandbox Spotlight series, which features interviews with real-life couples talking about their real-life experiences navigating the 4 Relationship Seasons, developing better communication skills, and deepening their connection.
If you haven’t listened to my episodes on the Relationship Seasons, I recommend you check them out first!
My guests for this episode are Sarah and Steve. They have been together for 14 years and have 4 children, ages 9, 7, 4, and 2.
Sarah and Steve are currently in the Coping Season (or Connected Season, depending on who took the quiz!). Over the past year they have had multiple external factors pulling their time and energy, including home renovations, a life-changing bicycle accident, and Steve’s new work as a freelancer, just to name a few.
With so many life events happening all at once, it’s naturally been difficult to carve out the time needed to focus on themselves as a couple. Having awareness around the Relationship Seasons and using the tools they learned through Couple’s Sandbox has helped them remember that seasons ebb and flow and the Coping Season doesn’t last forever.
In our conversation, Sarah and Steve share how they moved past their initial hesitations around joining Sandbox (group calls can seem scary!), and how they now look forward to connecting with the other couples in the community. It has been a source of relatable connection and normalizes the challenges that every couple goes through, plus it prompts meaningful conversation with each other!
In this episode of Couplehood, you’ll discover:
- How Sarah and Steve say that awareness around the Relationship Seasons has helped them
- Why being the Couple Sandbox community is so important
- How modelling and normalizing struggles that all couples benefit your whole family
“You have to be at ease with yourself before you can be at ease with each other.”
— Steve
Highlights:
00:24 The Sandbox Spotlight
01:50 Sarah and Steve
33:00 Gratitude
Links:
Work With Me:
Follow Me on Instagram:
https://instagram.com/allison__villa
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!
If you like this episode you’ll love
Episode Comments
Generate a badge
Get a badge for your website that links back to this episode
<a href="https://goodpods.com/podcasts/couplehood-346124/moving-homeschooling-and-renovating-allison-and-arjan-reflect-50214258"> <img src="https://storage.googleapis.com/goodpods-images-bucket/badges/generic-badge-1.svg" alt="listen to moving, homeschooling & renovating: allison & arjan reflect on goodpods" style="width: 225px" /> </a>
Copy