Love During Lockdown
02/01/21 • 14 min
“How do we carve out time for our relationship when we’re just processing so much ourselves as individuals and taking care of the needs of our children?”
— Allison Villa
With the lockdown regulations constantly shifting, it’s hard to find your rhythm as a parent. Kids thrive when they have routines and dealing with work and school from home has been a huge challenge for many of us.
On top of that, many of us are feeling ‘pandemic fatigue’ after nearly a year of isolation and doom-filled news stories.
And these added stresses can have a big impact on our relationships.
In times like these, it’s more important than ever to make time to work on your connection with your partner.
In this episode of Couplehood, I share some of my favourite simple daily and weekly actions to strengthen your relationship.
One of the most important areas to tackle is sleep.
If your children sleep through the night, you’re already winning the lottery. If you have small children who don’t sleep through the night, this already challenging situation is going to be more challenging. While you don’t have access to a wider circle of support during lockdown, you and your partner can support each other by giving each other space for naps during the day or alternating nights with the baby.
From sleep schedules to home office placement to planning out the school day, you have so many opportunities to make choices that deepen your connection.
Listen to the episode to discover:
- People-pleaser problems — and how to avoid letting them make life more challenging
- The importance of rethinking how you use the space in your home
- The #1 small thing that you should be putting in your schedule every single week
“The challenges in your life are your greatest opportunity for growth and deeper connection as a couple.”
— Allison Villa
Highlights:
- 00:32 Finding rhythm in lockdown
- 01:57 Sleep is the foundation
- 05:17 Assess & adjust
- 06:50 People-pleaser problems
- 08:02 Scheduling updates
- 09:00 Rethink your home layout
- 10:22 Do something thoughtful!
- 12:34 Recap
Links:
Work With Me:
Follow Me on Instagram:
https://instagram.com/allison__villa
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!
“How do we carve out time for our relationship when we’re just processing so much ourselves as individuals and taking care of the needs of our children?”
— Allison Villa
With the lockdown regulations constantly shifting, it’s hard to find your rhythm as a parent. Kids thrive when they have routines and dealing with work and school from home has been a huge challenge for many of us.
On top of that, many of us are feeling ‘pandemic fatigue’ after nearly a year of isolation and doom-filled news stories.
And these added stresses can have a big impact on our relationships.
In times like these, it’s more important than ever to make time to work on your connection with your partner.
In this episode of Couplehood, I share some of my favourite simple daily and weekly actions to strengthen your relationship.
One of the most important areas to tackle is sleep.
If your children sleep through the night, you’re already winning the lottery. If you have small children who don’t sleep through the night, this already challenging situation is going to be more challenging. While you don’t have access to a wider circle of support during lockdown, you and your partner can support each other by giving each other space for naps during the day or alternating nights with the baby.
From sleep schedules to home office placement to planning out the school day, you have so many opportunities to make choices that deepen your connection.
Listen to the episode to discover:
- People-pleaser problems — and how to avoid letting them make life more challenging
- The importance of rethinking how you use the space in your home
- The #1 small thing that you should be putting in your schedule every single week
“The challenges in your life are your greatest opportunity for growth and deeper connection as a couple.”
— Allison Villa
Highlights:
- 00:32 Finding rhythm in lockdown
- 01:57 Sleep is the foundation
- 05:17 Assess & adjust
- 06:50 People-pleaser problems
- 08:02 Scheduling updates
- 09:00 Rethink your home layout
- 10:22 Do something thoughtful!
- 12:34 Recap
Links:
Work With Me:
Follow Me on Instagram:
https://instagram.com/allison__villa
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!
Previous Episode
Postpartum Depression Happened to Me (What You Need To Know)
“The slow emotional decline began. It was very slow ... it was a series of small moments layered on top of each other.”
— Allison Villa
Today’s episode tackles a difficult but important topic. In it, I share my postpartum depression story.
It’s a difficult story to tell, but I share it with the hope that it will help you feel understood and show you that you CAN find your way back.
My midwife and I discussed the possibility of postpartum depression before the birth of my second child. Neither of us expected that it would be an issue, as I’d felt fine after the birth of my first daughter.
Right after giving birth to my second daughter, I felt AMAZING. I was high on love and full of awe about what my body had just done.
But that didn’t last.
My decline into postpartum depression was gradual but devastating.
Small things took on new significance. I remember trying to take my older daughter on the ten-minute walk to daycare in the snow. She balked at the idea.
The loss of that simple exercise of self-care felt huge. Much bigger than it should have.
Postpartum depression makes small moments or situations feel intense and overwhelming. Over the course of a year, I started to feel more angry and impatient. It affected my physical health and relationship.
Eventually, I knew that I needed help. And I want any listeners dealing with postpartum depression to know that there is a way out.
Listen to the episode to discover:
- The terrifying depths that postpartum depression can take you to — and why it is SO important to ask for help
- How societal expectations and beauty standards can mask legitimate health issues
- 3 simple action items to take if my story resonates with you
“There we were: these two mothers experiencing the exact same thing, but not able to recognize it or even say it out loud.”
— Allison Villa
Highlights:
- 00:32 Why I’m telling my story
- 01:44 Becoming a mother of two
- 04:45 The decline
- 07:03 Postpartum intensity
- 08:12 Shellhood
- 09:24 The ramp-up & bodily changes
- 12:36 The wine
- 13:59 My expectations v my reality
- 16:06 The breaking point
- 18:28 The recovery
- 20:04 Be ready & able to receive
- 21:54 It can happen to anyone
- 23:12 Action items
Links:
‘What I Wish Every Mother Knew About Postpartum Depression’
https://www.allisonvilla.com/posts-for-blog/2019/1/30/heres-what-i-wish-every-mom-knew-about-postpartum-depression-a8xwf
LINK
Work With Me:
Follow Me on Instagram:
https://instagram.com/allison__villa
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!
Next Episode
Communication Tips
“What’s important about communication is that it’s made up of two parts. The first part is expressing how you feel, and the second part is listening.”
— Allison Villa
Real communication is made up of two equally important parts: expressing and listening. And you can’t have effective communication without having both sides!
Make no mistake — being an effective communicator is a powerful skill.
Some people are great listeners, but have a lot of trouble choosing the right words (or tone, or time) to make their true feelings known. Others have a wonderful knack for revealing their thoughts and emotions, but have some trouble really hearing what others are trying to tell them.
One thing is for sure: no matter how well you think you communicate, there is always room to grow and improve! No partnership was ever harmed by improving your communication skills.
Since both sides are so vitally important, I’m addressing each of them in their own episode.
In this episode of Couplehood, I share my top 3 favourite ways to express yourself effectively.
This episode is all about learning how to convey your thoughts and feelings clearly, respectfully, and effectively, in a way that helps other people understand your perspective.
It’s about so much more than just choosing the right words — it’s about reframing the way that you approach sharing your feelings.
Listen to the episode to discover:
- The magic phrase to adopt in your everyday vocabulary in order to deepen your communication — and exactly why it works so well
- Why it’s so important to be mindful of your tone of voice
- The 3 steps you need to take to repair ruptures in your relationships
“It’s equally as important to communicate how you feel when things are good as it is when things are not so good.”
— Allison Villa
Highlights:
- 00:38 The two sides of communication
- 01:59 The magic phrase
- 04:36 Communicate when things are good & bad
- 05:26 It’s all in the tone
- 06:30 Repairing a rupture
- 11:01 Recap
Links:
Work With Me:
Follow Me on Instagram:
https://instagram.com/allison__villa
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!
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