The Silent Why: finding hope in grief and loss - Loss 59/101: Loss of a police career and self-worth: Ken Anderson

Loss 59/101: Loss of a police career and self-worth: Ken Anderson

12/10/24 • 65 min

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The Silent Why: finding hope in grief and loss

#117. What do you do when the career you love is gone, and you're barely staying afloat? And why is helping yourself so much harder than helping others?
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of permanent loss.
Loss #59 of 101: Loss of a police career and self worth
In this episode, we meet Ken Anderson from York, England; a retired police officer whose life took an unexpected turn after a nearly 20-year career as a response officer, firearms officer, and trainer.

Ken's front-line career came to an abrupt end after a serious car crash, during a police chase, which left him injured. What followed was a deeply challenging period of his life. In July 2023, Ken hit rock bottom as he struggled with depression, self-doubt, and the heartbreak of losing the "police family" he cherished.

But this isn’t just a story about loss—it’s about hope. Ken shares how three simple words—“Are you OK?”—were a turning point that prevented him ending his life.
Today, he’s transforming his pain into purpose, advocating for mental health awareness and meaningful connection.

This conversation is a raw and honest look at:

The emotional toll of emergency service careers
How to navigate the depths of depression and loss
The power of reaching out and supporting one another in times of need

We also explore how Ken is finding new purpose and meaning after such a profound life shift.

And of course, we wrap up with our signature question: What’s your Herman? Curious to learn more? Visit thesilentwhy.com/herman.
For more about Ken visit:
www.phoenix-rises.co.uk
https://www.linkedin.com/in/ken-anderson-8842b0313/
And for more about Andy's Man Club (mentioned in the episode), visit:
https://andysmanclub.co.uk/

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Thank you for listening.

This conversation is a raw and honest look at:

The emotional toll of emergency service careers
How to navigate the depths of depression and loss
The power of reaching out and supporting one another in times of need

We also explore how Ken is finding new purpose and meaning after such a profound life shift.

Support the show

Previous Episode

Let's Chat... Grieving out loud on social media (with Rebecca Feinglos)

#116. Let's Chat... about what it looks like when we use social media to show and share our grief.
These 'Let’s Chat' episodes are conversations with guests who have experience/expertise in a particular area of loss.
In this episode, I (Claire Sandys) chat to Rebecca Feinglos in North Carolina who is a certified grief support specialist and the founder of Grieve Leave - which offers grief support, education and training for workplaces.
By the age of 31, Rebecca had lost both her parents and was dealing with the end of her marriage, these losses led her to take a year off to process them all, which is what she called her Grieve Leave.
During this time, Rebecca started blogging about her grief and its popularity eventually led her to set up Grieve Leave as an organisation in 2021 to help others. This online community now has an impressive 30,000 members worldwide, who all share their grief, or are looking to help others who are grieving, particularly through the use of social media.
With her experience of seeing and sharing grief online, I was keen to talk to Rebecca about grief in the online world. Does it help or hinder us? How has the internet opened up new areas of grieving for us? And how do we accept those? There's a lot of ground covered in this chat, including raccoons (!) and a question I've never asked before in a Let’s Chat episode (for you regular listeners, see if you can work out what it is.)

For more about Rebecca and Grieve Leave:
https://www.grieveleave.com
https://www.instagram.com/grieveleave
https://www.instagram.com/rfeinglos
Viral video of Rebecca & Adele:
https://www.tiktok.com/@rfeinglos/video/7177076659344919850

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Next Episode

Chris & Claire's Chatty Christmas Catch-Up

#118. Struggling with the festive season? You're not alone. As a childless couple, we've been there too, especially when family is at the heart of so many celebrations.
This is The Silent Why, a podcast on a mission to open up conversations around grief, to see if hope can be found in 101 different types of loss, and we're Chris & Claire Sandys, your childless hosts.
Every year we release an episode where we chat about how we're feeling about Christmas. We started with an episode in 2021, talking about how hard it felt and Chris' loss of Christmas spirit, then we did another in 2022 (Finding Comfort at Christmas - which included other podcast guests' experiences), and in 2023 we had 'Chris & Claire chat Christmas and Childlessness', and now here we are again with all things Christmassy, Chrissy and Clairey.
In this episode we chat about how we're finding the lead up to Christmas this year, how we feel about being childless and how that's changed over the years, what our hopes are going forwards, and lots of other stuff that pops up.
Including, a flu-inspired Chris yelling 'Mistletoe' a few times!
All the other Christmas and New Year episodes and blogs we mention, that you might want to check out if you're struggling this year, can be found on one page:
https://www.thesilentwhy.com/christmas
And don't forget, if you're feeling alone, we're always here and we love to hear from you.

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The Silent Why: finding hope in grief and loss - Loss 59/101: Loss of a police career and self-worth: Ken Anderson

Transcript

00:00:02.220

My name is Ken, and I'm here to talk about the loss of my police career, which led to my loss of self worth.

00:00:12.279

Welcome to The Silent Why the podcast exploring 101 different types of loss through the stories of those who have lived them. I'm Claire. And I'm Chris, and this is loss 59 of 101 and today we're joined by retired police officer Ken Anderson from York in England, who had to step away from a career that he loved. The pride that I