How Do I Stop Comparing Myself to Perfect Mums?- with Dr Jo Mueller

When They Refuse, When They Break Things & When We Get It Wrong

Ever feel like parenting just got harder? Like the things that used to work suddenly don’t anymore? SAME. Gentle parenting felt so much easier when my kids were little, but now my 7-year-old is testing independence, and I’ve realised—I need to level up my parenting skills.

In this episode, I’m sharing: Where I’ve been getting it wrong with my 7-year-old (and what I’m doing differently) Why taking her iPad away for four days after refusing swimming was NOT the answer How control plays a huge role in kids’ behaviour —and how to work with it instead of against it Why public meltdowns feel so much harder (hello, embarrassment!) and what I wish I’d done differently The surprising ways ChatGPT has helped me reframe tricky parenting moments Why we don’t need to be perfect to be amazing mums (seriously, let’s stop putting that pressure on ourselves)

If you’ve ever found yourself in a power struggle, reacting instead of responding, or just feeling like you’re getting it all wrong—this episode is for you. Let’s talk about what’s actually working, what we can let go of, and how we can parent in a way that feels good (for them AND us).

EPISODE CHAPTERS

00:00 - When Parenting Feels Harder Than It Used To
32:09 - New Strategies for Parenting Older Kids
32:20 - How to Handle Power Struggles Without Losing Your Mind
38:19 - Why You Don’t Need to Be a Perfect Mum

TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE

Gentle parenting isn’t about letting them do whatever they want—it’s about understanding what they need. Consequences need to match the situation—not be random punishments. (Looking at you, ‘no iPad for four days’ ) Control is a big deal for kids. When they push back, it’s usually about needing some sense of control over their lives. Public meltdowns feel harder because we feel judged. We need to remind ourselves—our child’s behaviour is NOT a reflection of our worth as a parent. Modelling emotional regulation is key. If we want them to handle big feelings well, we have to show them how it’s done. ChatGPT has actually helped me be a better parent. (No, really. It’s like having a therapist in my pocket when I need a fresh perspective.) Every parenting challenge is a chance to grow. We’ve never parented a 7-year-old before. Next year, we’ll be figuring out how to parent an 8-year-old. The learning never stops. Mistakes don’t make us bad parents. What matters is how we repair and move forward.

LET’S CONNECT!

Feeling stuck in motherhood? You don’t have to figure it all out alone. Join me inside ‘Finding You’ – my coaching programme for mums who feel like they’ve lost themselves in motherhood and want to start living for themselvesagain. If you’re ready to feel calmer, more confident, and actually enjoy parenting without the pressure of getting it all right, this is for you. Need a quick reset? My Finding You Reset is perfect if you’re feeling overwhelmed and need to take a step back, refocus, and reconnect with yourself—not just as a mum, but as you. DM me on Instagram @the.imperfecttherapist @natashanyeketherapy and let’s chat about how I can support you! Or head to www.natashanyeke.com to learn more. If this episode resonated with you, let me know! Comment, review, or tag me on Instagram! And if you found this helpful, share it with a mum who needs this reminder today. You don’t have to be perfect to be a great mum. You just need to keep showing up.