Run Your Money Show

Welcome to episode 231 of the Love Live Connection podcast, The Relationships You’re Confusing with Love

I’ve worked with enough women to know that sometimes when someone is describing a current or past relationship, I know when they are describing it through rose colored glasses.

Obviously things happen, but I’m very skeptical when I hear stories around being blindsided. Yes, that might have been your experience, but to the outside eye, there were probably a lot more signs.

Knowing what love is and what it isn’t will help you to protect yourself from being in a relationship you're confusing with love and from being blindsided in the future.

I hope you enjoyed this episode! Find me on Instagram or send me an email with your feedback. I look forward to hearing from you!

3:12 - Why I describe love and happiness as states of being

4:52 - Why I’m skeptical about hearing stories about being blindsided by a breakup

6:38 - Why the scenario of filling a void can be confused with love

12:08 - The second type of relationship that can be confused with love is when two people’s issues dovetail each other.

19:39 - The third way you can get confused with love, idealizing your partner or the relationship

After you listen to this episode, here are your next steps:

• Episodes mentioned in this show:
• • Episode 94 - Get Out of the People Pleaser/Narcissistic Relationship Trap
  • Episode 104 - The Four Dating Energies Keeping you Out of Love - The Pleaser!
• Join me for the new on demand workshop, Attract Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul. This is how to do the deep work and create a thriving relationship in your life without changing who you are. Sign up here.
• Are you interested in being coached on the Love Live Connection? Learn more here.
• Are we connected on Instagram? Come tell me WHO you are here!
• If you get value from the Love Life Connection, please rate & review it on Apple Podcasts. It only takes a sec to impact our ranking + it’ll help other women find our community!

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Surprise! I am here in your podcast feed on a Monday and you might be wondering why. Well, today is day one of the 2020 Love Vision Podcast Challenge. So this week on the podcast I'm doing something a little different in celebration of Valentine's day. I want to help you get refocused in your love life so that you can get unstuck and finally move forward. So each day on the podcast this week I'm releasing a mini episode that will help you get clear on your goals and your love life, overcome blocks getting in your way, and you'll end the challenge with creating some tangible action steps that will change your love life. So today is day one and it's all about taking a love inventory.

Now, I will tell you that this is probably the step that most of you want to skip the most, and I'm telling you don't. It's actually super, super important that you don't skip out on your love inventory. When I mean love inventory, I mean assessing where you are in your love life right now. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Now, a lot of people want to skip this step because it's really uncomfortable. We don't really want to admit where we are or really see where we are. We'd rather just turn a blind eye to it or stick her head in the sand and just immediately start moving to something new or something different in your love life. I really, really believe though, as a coach, that to get to where you want to go, you have to be super clear on where you are right now.

It kind of reminds me, it's not exactly a parallel, but it's still kind of reminds me of that scene from Alice in Wonderland where Alice is completely lost and she doesn't know where to go and so she tells the cat, "Hey, I'm lost. I don't know which way to go." And he's like, "Well, where do you want to go?" And she's like, "Wherever, I don't care." And he's like, "Well, you can go wherever you want then." So when you put your directions into Google Maps, Google Maps needs to know where you are now so it can tell you how to get to where you need to go, location B. And I think when it comes to our emotional state, our spiritual state, or mental state, or our physical state, wherever we want to change and our life, we need to know when to turn right and when to turn left. And we know that based on where you are now. So it's really important that you know what kind of people you're attracting. It's really important that you know what kind of boundaries you are or are not setting. It's really important for you to understand what you're putting up with, and maybe you need to ask for, or not ask for, or whatever it is.

Okay. So, I am going to give you some questions that I want you to journal on. If nothing else, definitely think and meditate on them, but I really want you to be radically honest with yourself. Now, if you want to download the workbook that goes with this podcast challenge, I highly recommend you do, because I've included some extra notes in the workbook and I've also just got everything laid out so you can follow it really clearly and easily. You just head over to veronicagrant.com/podcastchallenge. Again, the workbook is totally free, as is the challenge. But the workbook will just help you to stay focused and also all the journaling questions and all the other assignments that I give throughout this podcast challenge will be all there so that in case you're listening to this podcast as you're running, or driving, or cleaning, or whatever, you don't need to stop and take notes on all the questions, they're all right there for you. So again, veronicagrant.com/podcastchallenge, and you can download the workbook there.

Okay, I would love to see you actually write these questions down and the answers down and actually journal on them in your journal, on a piece of paper, in the workbook, wherever. If you're really not a journaler and you're really resistant to it, definitely at least think about it, meditate on it, and maybe go on a walk and think about a couple of the questions and just really see what comes up for you. And again, I want you to be radically honest.

So here's some questions that I want you to think about. #1: How does your love life feel right now? So does it feel exhausting? Does it feel like it's something you're just putting on the back burner over and over again? Does it feel like it's draining? Does it feel fun? Does it feel exciting? Does it feel passionate? Does it feel a number of these things altogether? Does it some days feel really good and exciting and some days really crappy and just really blah?

There's no right or wrong here and I don't want you to be in fix it mode right now, not that you're broken, or not that you're ever broken. I never liked the idea of fixing ourselves or fixing things in our life, but I don't want you to be in a state right now like, "Okay, wel...

You just found out the person you’re dating is going through a divorce that hasn’t been finalized yet. Do you pump the breaks on it? And if so, could you actually be convinced not to?

Talk about a hot take! Obviously, not everyone feels the same way. For many people, though, this situation is an immediate deal breaker, and you might be one of them. (In fact, many of my clients agree; I’ve got the DMs and emails to prove it).

But if you find yourself in this scenario, unless there are other red flags in your relationship, it’s at least worth thinking about from a different perspective. It might even surprise you to know that open marriages are quite common, including among people you’ve definitely heard of.

In this episode of Love Life Connection, you’ll learn the story of billionaire investor Warren Buffet’s open marriage and the benefits of staying married even after the love is gone. I also talk about red flags to beware of if you’re dating someone in this situation, as well as the business of marriage and how it still applies if you’re dating and living together.

5:59 - The open marriage of Warren Buffett (and why it was beneficial)

9:32 - The two parts to a relationship (and which part to watch for any red flags)

15:07 - How marriage is like a business

19:31 - The separate or combined accounts conundrum

22:13 - Another area you need to get clear on to have the space for romance in a marriage

25:36 - What if you’re living together but not married?

29:43 - My goal for you when it comes to dating and money

I hope you enjoyed this episode! Find me on Instagram or email me with your feedback. I look forward to hearing from you!

After you listen to Should Someone Still Married On Paper Be A Deal Breaker For You?, here are your next steps:

• Book your Love Incubator Exploratory Call or read more about the program here.
• Read Business Insider’s article on Warren Buffett’s open marriage.
• Listen to episode 346: “How to Spend Your Money and Time Dating Better.”
• If you are interested in being coached on the Love Live Connection, sign up for my wait list ​ here​.
• Finally, If you get value from the Love Life Connection, please rate & review it on Apple Podcasts. It only takes a sec to impact our ranking + it’ll help other women find our community!

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Ever feel like there’s something missing in some area of your life or that you’re meant to be doing something else?

Perhaps you’ve been in it (whatever it is) for a while but have had this nagging feeling that there’s a piece you could fit into the puzzle to make it even better. Or you want to change things up a bit because it’s become stale.

The answer to your biggest nagging question can often be found right in front of you. I love doing relationship coaching. But I’ve been feeling like there’s something else to do in my business for the last six or 12 months, at least. I didn’t figure out what, though, until a sudden realization hit me on my birthday last December.

So there are changes coming to Love Life Connection. In this episode, you’ll learn about what it is, how the idea for it came about, why I’m pursuing this, and what you can expect to be different from now on.

2:05 - What sparked the change coming (and how it contradicts something I’ve said on this show)

12:09 - The astrological connection between love and money

17:47 - What’s changing and why I’m so passionate about it

20:31 - Where you’ll actually see the biggest impact

26:38 - Examples of what having your money run you looks like

31:17 - Introducing the Run Your Money workshop and what you’ll get if you sign up

I hope you enjoyed this episode! Find me on Instagram or email me with your feedback. I look forward to hearing from you!

After you listen to My Announcement for Some Big Changes Around Here, here are your next steps:

• Sign up for the Run Your Money workshop.
• Get I Will Teach You to Be Rich by Ramit Sethi.
• If you are interested in being coached on the Love Live Connection, sign up for my wait list ​ here​.
• Finally, If you get value from the Love Life Connection, please rate & review it on Apple Podcasts. It only takes a sec to impact our ranking + it’ll help other women find our community!

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As a Capricorn, I have an innate love for personal finance. I can nerd out and consume things like investing, budgeting, saving, paying off debt, and more for days. But I also believe that we relate to money the same way we relate to the people we date. In fact, we tie our worthiness to these things, especially women.

So how are they similar, and how do you decouple your self-worth from your finances and your love life? In this episode, I talk about the connection between where you spend money and who you date.

9:30 - The investment I used to make while dating and the policy that changed everything

13:50 - A common pattern I’ve noticed in some clients who use the same policy

16:21 - The parallels between your romantic relationships and your relationship with money

20:03 - What happens when you let money control you instead of you controlling it

25:26 - How to get control of your money so that it doesn’t control you

30:39 - A really shitty way to live that some personal finance gurus, nevertheless, recommend

36:30 - A little juicy preview of an upcoming episode

I hope you enjoyed this episode! Find me on Instagram or email me with your feedback. I look forward to hearing from you!

After you listen to How to Spend Your Money and Time Dating Better, here are your next steps:

• Sign-up for the Love Incubator.
• Listen to episode 298: “My Four-Part Framework to Clear Your Money Blocks.”
• With my impactful introductory coaching session, you’ll walk away knowing exactly what’s blocking you in love. Learn more about working with me 1-on-1 and schedule your Introductory Session here.
• Finally, If you get value from the Love Life Connection, please rate & review it on Apple Podcasts. It only takes a sec to impact our ranking + it’ll help other women find our community!

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