How to Know If Your Expectations Are Too High
08/13/20 • 41 min
Welcome to episode 227 of the Love Live Connection podcast, How to Know If Your Expectations Are Too High
I’m really excited about today’s topic. This question comes up a lot with my new clients who ask me, “Veronica, are my expectations too high? If they are, just tell me.” They think by lowering their expectations, that will get them into a relationship. I think a lot of this comes from the patriarchy in place in our society. It’s a really good example of how the political landscape is personal and shows up in our relationships and in the bedroom. So, I’m going to go through five ways that your expectations may be too high and five ways your expectations are definitely NOT too high.
I hope you enjoyed this episode! Find me on Instagram or send me an email with your feedback. I look forward to hearing from you!
6:56 - The first way your expectations might be too high - You believe they should know what you want
9:30 - Reason #2 your expectations may be too high - You aren’t okay with any degree of arguments or fights
12:07 - The third reason your expectations may be too high - Your partner feels like nothing they do can make you happy or they feel they’re on eggshells
14:30 - The fourth reason your expectations might be too high - You possibly have too many dealbreakers
19:42 - The fifth way your expectations may be too high - You believe in fairytale love/unconditional love
24:12 - The first example of when your expectations are not too high - Consistent communication/spending time together
26:13 - The next way your expectations are not too high - Your partner doesn’t take any responsibility for growing the relationship or working through issues, gaslights you and puts it all on you
28:29 - The third way your expectations are not too high - The idea that “Love is supposed to be hard”
31:04 - The fourth example of when your expectations are not too high - You don’t feel excited by the relationship
34:04 - The last way your expectations are not too high - It’s wrong or mean or not nice to have boundaries or say no
After you listen to this episode, here are your next steps:- Previous Episodes mentioned in this podcast:
- Check out my free workshop The 5-Step Strategy To Banish Anxiety and Overwhelm in Your Love Life
- Ready to explore what working with me is like? Learn more here.
- If you are interested in my two-week course, Crappy to Happy to help you quickly discover your love blocks so that you can clear them and find love, without having to spend years in therapy sign up here
- To sign up to be on the waiting list for my brand new workshop, Your Conscious Online Dating Blueprint, where we work to align your inner work and the outer strategy, sign up here
- If you would like more information on my free zoom calls, follow me on Instagram or sign up to my email list on my website
- Interested in being coached on the Love Live Connection? Learn more here.
- Are we connected on Instagram? Come tell me WHO you are here!
- If you get value from the Love Life Connection, please rate & review it on Apple Podcasts. It only takes a sec to impact our ranking + it’ll help other women find our community!
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Welcome to episode 227 of the Love Live Connection podcast, How to Know If Your Expectations Are Too High
I’m really excited about today’s topic. This question comes up a lot with my new clients who ask me, “Veronica, are my expectations too high? If they are, just tell me.” They think by lowering their expectations, that will get them into a relationship. I think a lot of this comes from the patriarchy in place in our society. It’s a really good example of how the political landscape is personal and shows up in our relationships and in the bedroom. So, I’m going to go through five ways that your expectations may be too high and five ways your expectations are definitely NOT too high.
I hope you enjoyed this episode! Find me on Instagram or send me an email with your feedback. I look forward to hearing from you!
6:56 - The first way your expectations might be too high - You believe they should know what you want
9:30 - Reason #2 your expectations may be too high - You aren’t okay with any degree of arguments or fights
12:07 - The third reason your expectations may be too high - Your partner feels like nothing they do can make you happy or they feel they’re on eggshells
14:30 - The fourth reason your expectations might be too high - You possibly have too many dealbreakers
19:42 - The fifth way your expectations may be too high - You believe in fairytale love/unconditional love
24:12 - The first example of when your expectations are not too high - Consistent communication/spending time together
26:13 - The next way your expectations are not too high - Your partner doesn’t take any responsibility for growing the relationship or working through issues, gaslights you and puts it all on you
28:29 - The third way your expectations are not too high - The idea that “Love is supposed to be hard”
31:04 - The fourth example of when your expectations are not too high - You don’t feel excited by the relationship
34:04 - The last way your expectations are not too high - It’s wrong or mean or not nice to have boundaries or say no
After you listen to this episode, here are your next steps:- Previous Episodes mentioned in this podcast:
- Check out my free workshop The 5-Step Strategy To Banish Anxiety and Overwhelm in Your Love Life
- Ready to explore what working with me is like? Learn more here.
- If you are interested in my two-week course, Crappy to Happy to help you quickly discover your love blocks so that you can clear them and find love, without having to spend years in therapy sign up here
- To sign up to be on the waiting list for my brand new workshop, Your Conscious Online Dating Blueprint, where we work to align your inner work and the outer strategy, sign up here
- If you would like more information on my free zoom calls, follow me on Instagram or sign up to my email list on my website
- Interested in being coached on the Love Live Connection? Learn more here.
- Are we connected on Instagram? Come tell me WHO you are here!
- If you get value from the Love Life Connection, please rate & review it on Apple Podcasts. It only takes a sec to impact our ranking + it’ll help other women find our community!
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Previous Episode
Why You Can’t Emotionally Connect With Anyone With Pam
Welcome to episode 226 of the Love Live Connection podcast, Why You Can’t Emotionally Connect With Anyone With Pam
I’m talking with Pam on the podcast today who has a question about why she can’t connect with anyone in the dating world and was wondering if she needs to put herself out there more. As we began to dig into why she felt she couldn’t connect with anyone, it became clear that she has some core wounds around being a people pleaser as well as a generational pattern in her family around gender roles that she needs to break. Once we identified these core wounds, I walk her through the best way to approach the healing process.
I hope you enjoyed this episode! Find me on Instagram or send me an email with your feedback. I look forward to hearing from you!
6:31 - Pam asks why she doesn’t need to date more to meet the right person
9:16 - Why dating is not a numbers game
11:06 - Pam talks about why she has problems opening up during a date
16:58 - Pam describes the dynamic of her home growing up
18:55 - Pam expresses sadness around needing to reparent herself in spite of a beautiful childhood
23:19 - I explain what Pam’s parents missed that caused her core wound
27:50 - I explain how Pam can start to heal her core wound
30:42 - We talk about practicing discernment when being emotionally vulnerable
34:04 - A recap of my call with Pam
After you listen to this episode, here are your next steps:- Check out the previous episode I did, “How to Let go of Fear That the Pickings are Slim and a New Look at the “Numbers Game”
- Ready to explore what working with me is like? Learn more here.
- If you are interested in my two-week course, Crappy to Happy to help you quickly discover your love blocks so that you can clear them and find love, without having to spend years in therapy sign up here
- To sign up to be on the waiting list for my brand new workshop, Your Conscious Online Dating Blueprint, where we work to align your inner work and the outer strategy, sign up here
- Check out my free workshop The 5-Step Strategy To Banish Anxiety and Overwhelm in Your Love Life
- If you would like more information on my free zoom calls, follow me on Instagram or sign up to my email list on my website
- Interested in being coached on the Love Live Connection? Learn more here.
- Are we connected on Instagram? Come tell me WHO you are here!
- If you get value from the Love Life Connection, please rate & review it on Apple Podcasts. It only takes a sec to impact our ranking + it’ll help other women find our community!
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Next Episode
How to Set Boundaries, manage anxiety, and not sabotage a finally healthy relationship
Welcome to episode 228 of the Love Live Connection podcast, How to Set Boundaries, manage anxiety, and not sabotage a finally healthy relationship
This episode starts off with a common fear I hear from many women in the community: I finally met someone great, how do I not mess it up? I discuss this very issue today with my caller, Abby. But like usual on the show, there’s a hindrance to her feeling more secure in the relationship. In this case with Abby, it’s rooted in her relationship with her mom. It’s not that she needs to heal her relationship with her mom, but she needs to set boundaries because it’s bringing out her core wounds. This is the equivalent of picking off scabs when you’re trying to heal a physical wound.
Setting boundaries will give Abby the space she needs to have an even better relationship with her mom. It will also help Abby do the inner child work she needs to do to feel less anxious in her romantic relationship.
I hope you enjoyed this episode! Find me on Instagram or send me an email with your feedback. I look forward to hearing from you!
1:19 - An example of something I have been experiencing lately where I need to set a boundary
5:09 - An introduction to my caller today who’s in a healthy relationship, and is scared she’s sabotaging it
6:16 - Abby presents her fear
9:35 - Abby describes her childhood with her mother
16:30 - My advice to Abby on how to heal her core wound by setting some boundaries
21:05 - The one place Abby wants to set a boundary with her mother
26:18 - A tool Abby uses to help ease her anxiety
27:23 - My suggestion to help Abby curb her anxiety
33:10 - A recap of my call with Abby
After you listen to this episode, here are your next steps:- Check out my free workshop The 5-Step Strategy To Banish Anxiety and Overwhelm in Your Love Life
- Ready to explore what working with me is like? Learn more here.
- If you are interested in my two-week course, Crappy to Happy to help you quickly discover your love blocks so that you can clear them and find love, without having to spend years in therapy sign up here
- To sign up to be on the waiting list for my brand new workshop, Your Conscious Online Dating Blueprint, where we work to align your inner work and the outer strategy, sign up here
- If you would like more information on my free zoom calls, follow me on Instagram or sign up to my email list on my website
- Interested in being coached on the Love Live Connection? Learn more here.
- Are we connected on Instagram? Come tell me WHO you are here!
- If you get value from the Love Life Connection, please rate & review it on Apple Podcasts. It only takes a sec to impact our ranking + it’ll help other women find our community!
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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