Parenting teenagers untangled. 🏆 The audio hug for parents of teens and tweens.

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Deciding to split can be an incredibly challenging time for any married couple, but knowing the impact it can have on our kids can make it even harder to navigate the complex untangling of a life together.
We were asked by one listener to talk about it, because she has a family member who's planning to divorce once their teen has finished their main exams, but keeping it quiet in the meantime. It's a tricky question; do we stay together for the kids, when do we tell them, and how?
In this episode we talk about a news article that claims teenagers are the ultimate marriage wrecker, the impact on teens who live with parents in an unhappy marriage, and whether they are better or worse off than those in a single parent family.
We talk about the best way to tell your teen you are splitting, an innovative way of dealing with it called nesting, which allows the kids to stay at home whilst the parents move in and out, and the new apps that can ease the burden of communication.
Whatever path you choose, one of the best bits of advice I always give divorcing couples, is to try and choose a legal service that's trained in reconciliation to reduce the fighting, and cost, of going through such a difficult process.
THINGS THAT MIGHT HELP:
A few apps; but there are many out there:

• https://supportpay.com/
• https://www.cozi.com/
• https://www.custodyxchange.com/
• https://www.onwardapp.com/

www.separatespace.co.uk Legal and mental health professionals who specialize in divorce.
www.restoredlives.org online courses for people going through break-ups
https://raisingchildren.net.au/grown-ups/family-diversity/parenting-after-separation-divorce/helping-teens-adjust-separation#:~:text=If%20you%20and%20your%20partner%20separate%2C%20the%20ups%20and%20downs,not%20coping%20with%20the%20transition.
https://www.custodyxchange.com/topics/divorce/worst-divorce-age.php#:~:text=The%20school%2Daged%20years%20are,feel%20like%20a%20personal%20attack.
https://evolvetreatment.com/blog/divorce-impact-adolescents/#:~:text=Effects%20of%20Divorce%20on%20Children&text=During%20and%20after%20the%20separ

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Thank you so much for your support.

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.
I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.
My email is [email protected]
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/
Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
www.amindful-life.co.uk

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Parties can be life-enhancing, joyous, and a wonderful chance to meet new people, but when it's for a teenager it can have a touch of the wild west about it.
For parents who understand the risks it can feel easier to say no, but if we think through all of the issues - and discuss them with our teens - there's far less chance things will go horribly wrong.
Our website has a free checklist of things to cover when planning your party.
RESOURCES USED:
https://raisingchildren.net.au/teens/behaviour/peers-friends-trends/teen-parties
https://www.whosthemummy.co.uk/teenage-house-parties-survival-tips-for-parents/
Wellington College UK document 'Alcohol and Parties.'

Support the show

Thank you so much for your support.

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.
I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.
My email is [email protected]
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/
Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
www.amindful-life.co.uk

Send us a text

Our teens have been dubbed Generation Isolation by the UK charity OnSide. It follows a poll which showed that 77% of young people spend most of their free time at home and 73% spend most of their free time on screens.
The charity says that while online communication is important and has some benefits, its dominance means young people are missing out on the face-to-face interactions that build social skills, confidence, self-esteem, resilience and empathy.
Whilst it's normal for teens to spend a lot of time alone in their rooms there seems to have been a general change in the amount of physical time that teens are spending socialising. We'll talk another time about parties, and managing them, but this time we discuss those all-important social skills and what we, as parents, can do to hep our teens develop them.
RESOURCES:

• https://parents.au.reachout.com/skills-to-build/wellbeing/things-to-try-friendships
• https://news.virginia.edu/content/peers-or-parents-study-shows-strong-friendships-set-teens-success-later-life

BOOKS:

• How to Win Friends and Influence People for Girls, by Donna Dale Carnegie.
• How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age, Dale Carnegie Training.
• The Social Survival Guide for Teens on the Autism Spectrum: How to Make Friends and Navigate Your Emotions by Lindsey Sterling

Support the show

Thank you so much for your support.

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.
I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.
My email is [email protected]
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/
Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
www.amindful-life.co.uk

Send us a text

Covid has given everyone a real bashing. For teenagers, one upside is that we now talk more about mental health, but at the same time our teens have been stuck in their rooms on digital devices. The number using social media for four hours or more has increased dramatically. Seeing people who aren't in lockdown having fun or looking glamorous just at the time when they want to be branching out is very difficult for teens.
A recent analysis for the BBC says there’s been a 77% rise in severe mental health cases in under 18’s and that head teachers are also reporting a huge rise in less severe mental health issues.

In a recent survey of over 200 of Place2Be’s frontline mental health professionals the common themes that young people have been raising are

· Loneliness & isolation (55%)

· Academic worries (48%)

· Juggling schoolwork (45%)

· Loss of rituals like end of year activities or exams (43%)

· Family relationship difficulties (42%)
A very touching, emotional BBC documentary that helps to see the world through the eyes of school kids and teachers:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p0g8c10s/helping-our-teens-series-1-episode-1

WHAT CAN YOU DO?
Tips – www.place2be

· Remind your child about everything they want to achieve and encourage them to look ahead.

· Remind them of how valued they are.

· Acknowledge how hard it has been not seeing their loved ones and friends. Help them find ways to do that.

· Respond calmly and in a resilient way and your child will take their cue from you.

· Encourage them to try new things in something they enjoy.

· Check in with your teen. It's really important to find time to connect with them AND to encourage them to talk about their feelings.

SLEEP AND TEENAGERS:

Tips – The Sleep Foundation: get them to review their sleep patterns:

· Budgeting eight hours of sleep into your daily schedule and keeping that same schedule on both weekdays and weekends.

· Creating a consistent pre-bed routine to help with relaxation and falling asleep fast.

· Avoiding caffeine and energy drinks, especially in the afternoon and evening.

· Putting away electronic devices for at least a half-hour before bed and keeping them on silent mode to avoid checking them during the night.

· Check the mattress and pillow are good for the teenager.

· Keeping your bedroom cool, dark, and quiet.

SOURCES:
Julie Hubbard, professor of psychological and brain sciences at the University of Delaware
World Economic Forum

Students now risk losing $17 trillion in lifetime earnings i

Support the show

Thank you so much for your support.

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.
I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.
My email is [email protected]
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/
Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
www.amindful-life.co.uk

Just when you thought that you’d got the hang of parenting, your child changes again, and this time it’s a teenager.
In this episode, we have a rummage in your parenting toolbox to work out what’s in there, and how useful it actually is.
And in Tangling with your Teenager, we gather all of your suggestions to answer Natalie’s question. ‘How do I get my son to do what I say, and tidy his room?’
Answers range from taking the door off to pretending there are mice in the room.
In the next epsisode we’ll wade into the deep end and discuss the issue of teenagers and alcohol.
And discuss Alex’s question ‘How I stay connected to my teen when they pull away, and argue with me?’
Do you have any tips or answers? Or any great stories that will teach us what not to do?
We'd love to hear from you, including any questions you'd like answered?
Email us now: [email protected]
Or find us on Facebook and Instagram.
Experts mentioned in the podcast:
👉🏻Www.aricsigman.com
👉🏻Jesper Juul: Your Competent Child

Thanks for listening. Creating this podcast has been transformative for our family lives; we hope it does the same for yours.
Please subscribe if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.
You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.
Our website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
www.amindful-life.co.uk