97: Switching parental gears for their new school year.

07/03/24 • 32 min

Parenting teenagers untangled. 🏆 The audio hug for parents of teens and tweens.

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?

The holidays are a great time to begin preparing our kids for the next year, but there's so much we could be doing it's hard to know where to start. I've turned to and someone who specialises in helping parents with tweens to give us some great, actionable tips.
JoAnn Schauf, who founded Your Tween and You, and is the author of Loving the Alien: How to Parent Your Tween, emphasizes the importance of focusing on fostering autonomy and confidence in children.

In this episode we talked about:

Goal-setting and allowing them to use their voice to set their goals.
The way our role changes and being clear about the new relationship.
The confusing changes that happen in our tween's brain.
The benefit of an accountability partner.
Using an accomplishment journal.
Noticing when the good things they do.
Focusing only on effort.
Allowing our kids to set their own goals.
Discussing homework building blocks.
Discussing screen time and empowering them to manage it.

CONTACT JOANN SHAUF:
https://www.yourtweenandyou.com/

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Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.
I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.
My email is [email protected]
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
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Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?

In this episode we talked about:

Goal-setting and allowing them to use their voice to set their goals.
The way our role changes and being clear about the new relationship.
The confusing changes that happen in our tween's brain.
The benefit of an accountability partner.
Using an accomplishment journal.
Noticing when the good things they do.
Focusing only on effort.
Allowing our kids to set their own goals.
Discussing homework building blocks.
Discussing screen time and empowering them to manage it.

CONTACT JOANN SHAUF:
https://www.yourtweenandyou.com/

Support the show

Thank you so much for your support.

Previous Episode

96: Screen time for tweens and teens: The latest on what works and what doesn't.

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?

If you're a bit confused about how much you should be wading in on your young adolescent's screen time then you're not alone. The truth is, there's been very little clear data to prove what we should and shouldn't be doing. Jonathan Haidt's book Anxiety Generation has turned the dial up on the whole subject and he's pushing hard for a ban on social media for younger teens because of the impact he says it has on them. Meanwhile, Natasha Devon is more keen on getting us parents to engage positively with our kids and teach them how to be their best selves online.
So who's right? A new study from the University of California, published in the journal Paediatric Research, looked at the behaviour of ten thousand 12-13 year olds, and it's given parents a clearer understanding of what we should be doing.
The most positive impact: is if we parents place limits on our own screen use, especially in front of our kids.

The most negative thing to do is using screen time as a reward or a punishment - because they found it tends to increase the desire to be on their screens. Which is exactly what Natasha Devon said in my interview about how to help your teens be their best selves online.

NEW STUDY:
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41390-024-03243-y#Sec19
TOOL FOR CREATING A FAMILY MEDIA PLAN:
https://www.healthychildren.org/English/fmp/Pages/MediaPlan.aspx
MY INTERVIEW WITH NATASHA DEVON:
https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/42-social-media-and-how-to-help-your-teens-be-their-best-selves-online-with-natasha-devon-mbe/

Support the show

Thank you so much for your support.

Next Episode

98: Public displays of affection and sex in your home. Listener email.

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?

Living with a teenager can make us feel queezy at times because we keep losing our bearings. They're changing rapidly, and bringing new challenges into our home, while we're just trying to do our best. For many, the start of a romantic relationship can feel particularly difficult. You're not just negotiating new territory, but having to do it with another person in the equation.
One listener has contacted me to for support over her teen daughter snuggling with her new boyfriend on the sofa in front of other family members. Sometimes it's hard to figure out whether we're being unreasonable, and even what it is that we're objecting to.
In this episode I directly address her feelings, and how challenging this can be for us parents, before sharing an old episode in which we talked about 16 year olds having sex under our roof.

Support the show

Thank you so much for your support.

Parenting teenagers untangled. 🏆 The audio hug for parents of teens and tweens. - 97: Switching parental gears for their new school year.

Transcript

Rachel Richards00:00:01.919

Music, hello and welcome to teenagers. Untangled the audio hug for parents going through the teenage years. I'm Rachel Richards parenting coach, journalist, mother of two teenagers and two owners daughters. Today, I'm joined by Joanne schoff, who is the what you call a parent whisperer, and she studied psychology, then went on into counseling, and she's worked in counseling within schools, and she's also been a therapist, so she's got a lot