Parenting teenagers untangled. 🏆 The audio hug for parents of teens and tweens. - 30: Christmas and other family gatherings with teens. Magic or misery?

30: Christmas and other family gatherings with teens. Magic or misery?

12/15/22 • 23 min

Parenting teenagers untangled. 🏆 The audio hug for parents of teens and tweens.

We all have traditional times when our extended families come together to celebrate, give thanks, and share the warmth of mutual love. In the UK, December is a non-stop reel of songs about 'Simply having a wonderful Christmas time', and Instagram is awash with pictures of happy celebrations.
Being with our family can give us a welcome chance to relax and be accepted for who we are but - let's be honest - it can also bring out the worst in us. The break in routine - where everyone is forced together - can be a difficult adjustment. The expense can be crippling. Travelling to see family can be stressful, and then the raised expectations can set up the entire event for failure.

We've all been there, so here are our tips on how to make the most of those gatherings when you have teenagers in the house.

https://www.family-action.org.uk/our-voices/2021/11/12/connecting-with-teenagers-at-christmas/
https://www.bacp.co.uk/news/news-from-bacp/2021/16-december-coping-with-family-pressures-and-expectations-in-the-run-up-to-christmas/
https://www.bristol.ac.uk/news/2021/december/avoiding-stressful-christmas.html
https://www.netdoctor.co.uk/healthy-living/wellbeing/a29321/how-to-deal-with-family-fallout-at-christmas/
https://www.stylist.co.uk/life/best-advice-family-christmas/605760

Support the show

Thank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.
I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.
Rachel’s email is [email protected] The website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/
Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
www.amindful-life.co.uk

Send us a text

We've all been there, so here are our tips on how to make the most of those gatherings when you have teenagers in the house.

Support the show

Previous Episode

29: Step-children. Coping, and thriving, with a blended family.

Send us a text

Having your own child can feel like an overwhelming responsibility at times,
but when you become a step-parent it's even more complicated.
The child may feel resentful because they didn't ask for a new parent, their biological parents are likely to have issues with each other, and then there's our own needs in a new relationship.
Ultimately, step-parents can offer a really wonderful addition to the lives of our bonus children. How we go about it can make all the difference.
Given that both of us are step-parents, it seemed like a great topic to discuss after Kathryn reached out to us to ask if we'd help with the situation in her home.
In this episode we cover the critical importance of:

Bonding with the step-child.
Forming a stable and united front with your new partner.
Taking care not to take on the role of disciplining your bonus child but providing solid back-up for their biological parent.
Making sure that your own needs are understood and met.

RESOURCES:
https://www.parents.com/parenting/dynamics/how-to-discipline-child-step-parent/
https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-ways-to-bond-with-your-stepchildren#1
https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/my-blended-family-wont-blend-part-ii-what-to-do-when-your-stepkids-disrespect-you/
https://www.care.com/c/bonding-with-stepchildren-7-tips-for-buildin/
https://www.moms.com/stepparents-advise-20-ways-to-bond-with-stepchildren/
https://www.parents.com/parenting/dynamics/how-to-discipline-child-step-parent/
BOOKS: Jenna Korf, Skirts At War: Beyond Divorced Mom/Stepmom Conflict.

Support the show

Thank you so much for your support.

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.
I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.
My email is [email protected]
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/
Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
www.amindful-life.co.uk

Next Episode

31: New year changes that stick. How to make resolutions that actually work.

Send us a text

We've all done it; new year, new me. By January the 11th the lustre has rubbed off our shiny resolutions and we're back to our old habits.
The reality is that making resolutions and getting them to stick is harder than we'd like it to be. So how do we make changes in our parenting and our family in a way that will continue to work after the fireworks and fun?
In this podcast:
We talk about uncovering the intention behind the resolution.
How to unpack those big problems to find a smaller goal to guide you.
How to use small habits in your day to make those big changes more easy.
And how using positivity can keep us going.

Some ideas:

Ask your teen what key change they would like to see and don't react badly to the answer
Find one on one time with each child
Don't text and drive
Create a tech contract
Create a chores contract
Yell less
Listen more
Sort out sleep routines
End your work day
Find space for you
Don't judge out loud
Let your teen cook once a week
Don't judge people out loud
Let your teen make their mistakes so they learn from them
Demonstrate the behaviour you want to see
Practice gratitude
Build a parent tribe of others who're in a similar situation
Make time for your partner
Get outside more
Sit down to family meals more often
Find games or activities you can all enjoy together

Resources:
Small Move Big Change by Caroline Arnold.
https://beenke.com/parenting/parenting-resolutions-you-can-actually-keep/
https://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/980167/new-years-resolutions-for-parents-of-teens/
https://www.rootsofaction.com/resolutions-that-can-change-your-teens-life/
https://hms.harvard.edu/news/uncontrollable-anger-prevalent-among-youth

Support the show

Thank you so much for your support.

Parenting teenagers untangled. 🏆 The audio hug for parents of teens and tweens. - 30: Christmas and other family gatherings with teens. Magic or misery?

Transcript

Rachel Richards00:00:03.270

Hello, I'm Rachel Richards and welcome to teenagers untangled the audio hug where we use research by experts and our own experience to discuss everything and anything to do with parenting teenagers.

Susie Asli00:00:14.259

Hi, I'm Susie Asli mindfulness coach, mindful therapist, musician and mother of three teenagers two of them are twins.

Rachel Richards00:00:21.600

As a parent