ON BOYS Podcast
Janet Allison, Jennifer LW Fink
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Real Talk about Parenting, Teaching, and Reaching Tomorrow’s Men
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Top 10 ON BOYS Podcast Episodes
Goodpods has curated a list of the 10 best ON BOYS Podcast episodes, ranked by the number of listens and likes each episode have garnered from our listeners. If you are listening to ON BOYS Podcast for the first time, there's no better place to start than with one of these standout episodes. If you are a fan of the show, vote for your favorite ON BOYS Podcast episode by adding your comments to the episode page.
Masculinity, Fatherhood, & Man Up
ON BOYS Podcast
08/31/23 • 47 min
What do college students think about masculinity? About fatherhood? About the trauma & violence faced by men in society?
Kevin Roy, a family science professor at the University of Maryland (& father of 3 sons), encourages his students to discuss these topics (& more) in his popular class, “Man Up.”
“Young women come in saying, ‘what is going on with guys?'” Kevin says. “The young men who take the course are really interested in exploring different ways of thinking about, ‘what is it to be guy?'”
Discussing “Toxic Masculinity”A lot of people enter the class with the impression that “masculinity is toxic. That men, by nature, do horrible things,” Kevin says, noting that many students (both male and female) have had negative experiences with men prior to his class.
He uses a public health lens to help students explore the idea that, “Men aren’t toxic by nature or nurture. What’s toxic is men’s choices and behaviors that are harmful.” He helps students explore and understand the threats men face to their masculinity, as well as the ways men may respond.
One thing many students don’t understand at the beginning of class is that “men never feel safe in their masculinity,” Kevin says. “They’re always challenged; you always have to earn it and you can always be called out.”
Helping Boys Consider FatherhoodModeling may be the best way to help boys understand the roles and responsibilities of fatherhood, Kevin says, noting that it’s most helpful if boys see fathers engaged in the gamut of parenting — feelings and all.
“If we want our boys to be that way, we have to be that way with them now,” he says. Exposure to men in caregiving roles outside of the house — teacher, childcare provider, nurse — are also helpful.
In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Kevin discuss:- Young people’s hunger to discuss masculinity
- The diversity of the fatherhood experience
- Threats to masculinity
- Body image pressure
- Boys’ friendships
- Making space for dads to connect
- Marriage and fatherhood
- We Must Expand that Definition of Masculinity for White, Cisgender Men: ‘Ted Lasso’ Offers a Guide – Baltimore Sun op-ed by Kevin
- Nurturing Dads: Fatherhood Initiatives Beyond the Wallet, by by William Marsiglio & Kevin Roy
- Body Image, Eating Disorders, and Boys — ON BOYS episode
- Gender Equality, Boys, & Men — ON BOYS episode with Richard V. Reeves
- Dads Matter (w Marion Hill) — ON BOYS episode
- The New Masculinity — ON BOYS episode
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Understanding Male Development: Baby Boys & Toddlers
ON BOYS Podcast
02/27/20 • 33 min
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Middle School: Misunderstood or Magic?
ON BOYS Podcast
02/09/24 • 45 min
Is middle school misunderstood — or magic?
For most of us — and many of our kids — middle school is a pretty miserable time. But that’s largely because most educators and parents misunderstand middle schoolers & these critical years.
“This is a very pervasive story, that middle school is terrible. But it doesn’t have to be. We make it terrible by working directly against the developmental needs of middle schoolers and designing these buildings and classes in way that make their lives really hard,” says veteran educator Chris Balme, author of Finding the Magic in Middle School: Tapping into the Power and Potential of the Middle School Years.
Middle Schoolers Have Unique Developmental NeedsThere are two time periods in our lives when the brain is growing the fastest: the early childhood years (approximately ages 0-5) and early adolescence (approximately ages 11-16). In early adolescence, “the brain reforms itself as a social brain,” Chris says. That’s why middle schoolers are so acutely attuned to their peers (and seem more interested in social situations than academics).
Middle schoolers progress through predictable developmental stages:
- Belonging. A middle schooler “needs to feel as if there’s one group, or at least one person, that they feel safe with, who wants them to be here and is consistent,” Chris says. If they don’t have that sense of belonging, they can’t show up to their full potential.
- Achievement. During this stage, kids “try to show what they’ve got,” Chris says. They want to show that they can do things of value. Note: Kids can only move into achievement once they feel a solid sense of belonging.
- Authenticity. This stage involves figuring out what they really like (& don’t like.). Kids eventually learn to express more of their authentic self in their daily lives.
“If a school doesn’t give at least a third of the day for social and movement time, it is holding our kids back developmentally,” Chris says.
Of course, many of our boys attend middle schools that don’t prioritize movement and socialization. So, it’s on parents to help them thrive. One way we can do this, Chris says, is to be weird. Middle schoolers can (& should) see their parents pursue hobbies and interests — and see us resolve conflicts and cope with challenges.
If your son is getting into trouble at a school that doens’t respect his needs for movement, socialization, belonging, and achievement, your number one priority should be to “not make it worse,” Chris says. “School has made this child’s life harder than it needs to be.” Instead, work with your child to understand what’s beneath his behavior. Help him figure out other ways to meet his needs.
“We can stress a little bit less about academics in middle school,” Chris says. “If we actually help someone finish middle school feeling like they have some sense of who they are authentically, and they’re confident and skillful enough to put that out in the social world, and they’ve got some friendships based on their authentic sense of self, that is such a win.
“That is really what I think the goal posts should be for middle school.”
In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Chris discuss:- Why modern middle school is a miserable experience for many middle schoolers & their families
- Developmental needs of middle schoolers
- “Twinning” — when tweens copy others’ look or behavior
- How parents & educators can help tweens & teens work toward belonging, achievement, & authenticity
- Why you should STRESS LESS ABOUT ACADEMICS
- Giving middle schoolers more responsibility
Finding the Magic in Middle School: Tapping into the Power and Potential of the Middle School Years, by Chris Balme
chrisbalme.com — Chris’s website
Growing Wiser — Chris’s Substack newsletter
What Middle School Boys Need — ON BOYS episode
Braden Bell Explains Middle School Boys — ON BOYS episode
Overcoming Fears and Worries to Say YES
ON BOYS Podcast
09/19/24 • 49 min
How can parents overcome their fears and worries so they can say YES to their boys’ interests and passions?
That’s the question we discuss with Heather Sponholz, a “boy mom” who’s said yes to her teenage sons’ solo National Parks trips, MMA fighting, and ambitious Christmas lights project.
Takeaways:- Navigating the balance between freedom and safety for teenagers can be challenging for parents.
- Allowing teenagers to take solo trips can help them develop independence and learn important life skills.
- Trusting in your child’s ability to navigate challenges and make responsible decisions is essential.
- Supporting teenagers in pursuing their passions and interests can have a positive impact on their personal growth. Supporting and nurturing boys’ passions and interests is important for their personal growth and development.
- Parents should overcome their fears and worries and allow their children to pursue activities that they are passionate about.
- Community support and mentorship can play a crucial role in helping boys pursue their interests.
- Parents should prioritize their children’s passions and provide them with the necessary resources and opportunities to explore and excel in their chosen fields.
- Allowing boys to face challenges and learn from their experiences helps them develop problem-solving skills and resilience.
Encouraging Independence — ON BOYS episode
Autonomy-Supportive Parenting — ON BOYS episode
Step In or Step Back? — ON BOYS episode
Age 16 & Learning to Let Go — BuildingBoys post
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Talking to Tween & Teen Boys
ON BOYS Podcast
03/23/23 • 46 min
Jonathon Reed has a lot of experience talking to tween & teen boys.
As a program manager with NextGenMen, a Canadian organization dedicated to changing how the world sees, acts and thinks about masculinity, Reed frequently works with boys in grades 6-8. He says that while boys today are more comfortable wearing pink than they were a generation or so ago, they still face pressure to think and act in certain ways.
“There’s a lot of ‘boys don’t cry,'” Reed says. “There’s still pressure to get girls or be in a relationship.”
Gender Narratives Are ShiftingSocietal expectations of boys & men are shifting. Consider Iron Man, the superhero. Traditionally, male superheros are supposed to super strong and invulnerable. Iron Man, of course, is strong, but in the Avengers movies, he’s shown as struggling with some anxiety and PTSD symptoms due to the “scary stuff he had experienced while defending New York City,” Reed says.
These shifting narratives are part of why it’s so important for adults to listen to boys. Our interpretation and understanding of situations and interactions doesn’t necessarily reflect boys’ complex experiences, and neither does our language or approach.
“We’ve got to look to them as the leaders in this conversation,” Reed says.
School Stress Affects Many BoysTween and teen boys may seem like they don’t care about school, but many are struggling with academic stress and school-related pressure.
“The stress related to academics still looms really large in the lives of young people,” Reed says. We can help boys by reassuring them and reminding them, over and over, that grades and school performance are not a mark of a person’s worth.
All boys need validation — perhaps, especially, the boys who are in “the middle of the pack” and aren’t getting accolades for academic or athletic performance. Let go of your preconceived expectations, and look for things to value and affirm in the boys you love and work with.
Remember, too, that boys won’t necessarily tell you about their problems. “If boys are struggling, often they’re struggling in silence,” Reed says. “There’s still a stigma against asking for help, particularly when it also means admitting a weakness or a vulnerability.”
Approach Conversations with CuriosityTeenage boys (and all humans) tend to shut down and stop listening to people who don’t seem to be listening. By adolescence, most boys know that the world isn’t simply black or white; they’re ready to explore the grey. You’ll have better luck discussing difficult subject if you approach conversations with curiosity, Reed says.
“Curiosity lays the possibility for an impactful conversation,” he says. Then, listen. Don’t dismiss what boys are telling you; dwell on the awkwardness they share and express.
In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Jonathon discuss:- Gender expectations for boys
- Learning from boys
- What boys talk about
- Why it’s hard for boys to ask for help
- Using boys interests to talk about deeper topics
- Talking to tween & teen about Andrew Tate
- Discussing consent
- How building up boys’ confidence increases their ability to resist peer pressure & handle rejection
- Helping boys recognize & respect their boundaries
- Boy culture
NextGenMen website
Raising Next Gen Men — ON BOYS episode
Breaking the Boy Code — ON BOYS episode
Teen Boys Emotional Lives — ON BOYS episode
Creating Consent Culture: A Handbook for Educators, by Marcia Baczynski and Erica Scott
Boys & Sex with Peggy Orenstein — ON BOYS episode
NextGenMen’s Future of Masculinity summit — FREE event Apr. 21 & Apr. 28,2023
Sponsor Spotlight:FBI: Sextortion Targets Boys
ON BOYS Podcast
05/02/24 • 43 min
Sextortion disproportionately affects boys.
Between October 2021 & March 2023, the FBI & Homeland Security Investigation received more than 13,000 reports of online sextortion of minors. Most of the victims were boys. At least 20 boys have already died by suicide after experiencing sextortion.
The FBI is so concerned about these trends that they reached out to ON BOYS podcast. Agents are working to shutdown sextorionists, but they know that parents play a key role in keeping boys safe too.
“This trend of targeting boys for financial sextortion — where photos are taken or provided by the boy and then used to extort them for funds, under the impression that they will be shared online — is a scheme that seems to have emerged in the last few years,” says Chris Crocker, Acting Special Agent in Charge of the FBI St. Louis division.
Protecting Boys From SextortionBoys ages 14-17 seem to be the primary targets. Sextortionists connect with boys via online platforms (including gaming sites and social media; they often represent themselves as attractive teenage girls, show a lot of interest, perhaps share a sexy photo of “themselves,” and then ask the boy to reciprocate. When he does, they threaten to share the image unless the boy sends them money.
“The boys we’ve seen fall for these schemes are not dumb kids. They’re not kids that were necessarily obviously at any sort of risk. They’re good kids, good students, athletes, model kids, the kind of boys you would want your son to grow up to be,” Chris says. “These are not bad kids; these are good kids who make poor decisions. Every person is susceptible to doing that from time to time.”
Talk to your boys about sextortion, so they will talk to you if it occurs to them (or a friend). Make sure they know that you will help them, not yell at them or punish them.
“It is very important for parents to constantly reassure their children that they can come to them with something like this. Building that trust with your child is really important to avoiding these things – maybe not from occurring ever, but from reaching the worst possible outcome,” Chris says.”This is a really complex issue and there’s no easy way to handle it, but spreading awareness will prevent more of these outcomes.”
Chris Crocker, Acting Special Agent in Charge of the FBI St. Louis Division
To Report Sextortion:
To contact the FBI, dial 1-800-CALL-FBI or use tips.fbi.gov to provide information online.
The FBI’s partner at the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children provides guidance on how to remove nude photos online that were taken before a person was 18 years old: https://takeitdown.ncmec.org/
In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Chris discuss:- What sextortion is
- Why boys are often victims
- How to talk to boys about sextortion
- What to do if someone is experiencing sextortion
- What happens when your report sextortion
- What social media sites are doing to combat sextortion
Sextortion: A Growing Threat Preying on Our Nation’s Teens
A Teen’s Death in a Small Michigan Town Led the FBI & Police to an Online Sexual Extortion Scheme
This Boy’s Story Highlights Why Instagram’s Taking a New Stance on DMs
Instagram to Crack Down on Teen Sextortion
Maggie Dent: What Teenage Boys Really Need — ON BOYS episode
Talk with Boys Like a PRO (about anything & everything!) — Jen & Janet’s upcoming course (starts May 7, 2024)
Sponsor Spotlight: EZ MeltsGet a FREE 3-month supply of D3 w your 1st purchase at try.ezmelts.com/onboys
<...Body Image, Eating Disorders, & Boys
ON BOYS Podcast
07/27/23 • 31 min
Body image concerns and eating disorders affect boys too.
As many as 75% of adolescent boys are dissatisfied with their bodies. 3% are now using steroids in an attempt to alter their bodies, 7% use supplements, and a 2019 study found that 1 in 5 guys aged 18-24 had an eating disorder due to a desire to enhance muscles.
Boys, like girls, need help developing a healthy body image and healthy habits.
Eating Disorders May Be Missed in BoysTo date, the “vast majority of body image and eating disorder research has focused on thinness and weight loss, particulary in females. Very few people are doing research on or have a great understanding of body image pressures for boys, which often drive young people to be more muscular, bigger, and bulkier,” says Jason Nagata, MD, MSc, associate professor of pediatrics in the division of adolescent and young adult medicine at UC – San Francisco.
While still in medical school, Nagata met a 16 year old boy who was a wrestler.
“He’d been suffering for years, checking his weight and himself in the mirror several times a day. His parents thought something wasn ‘t right, so they brought him in to his primary care pediatrician, who eventually brought him into the eating disorder clinic,” Nagata said.
Two-and-half-years, however, had elapsed before the boy was diagnosed with an eating disoder, and during that time, he “suffered a lot and had some pretty serious medical complications that required hospitalization,” Nagata says.
At the time, there was “almost nothing in the literature” about boys & eating disoders, and the guidelines for medical management of eating disorders focused on girls & women.
Eating disorders in boys & men may also be missed because many unhealthy behaviors — such as fasting for 24 hours or sweating off water weight — are “completely normalized” in certain sports
How Eating Disorders Present in Boys“Because the masculine ideal has become increasingly large and muscular, many boys are doing muscle-enhancing behaviors” to try to achieve that, Jason says.
Signs of an eating disorder in boys may include:
- Overconsumption of protein while restricting carbs & fat
- Using supplements to increase muscularity
- Excessive or compulsive exercise
If you suspect your son may struggle with disordered eating or excessive exercise, schedule an appointment with your son’s primary care provider.
Unfortunately, “there’s a lack of training on eating disorders in general, and even more so for eating disorders in boys and men,” so you may need to very explicitly share your concerns and suspicions with your provider, and advocate for appropriate assessment.
In this episode, Jen & Jason discuss:- The 3 biggest influences on boys’ body image
- How eating disorders present in boys
- Conditions that may predispose boys to muscle dysmorphia and eating disorders
- Seeking help for eating disorders
- Protein overconsumption
- Dietary supplements
- Supporting healthy habits
- Long-time health impact of eating disorders
nagatalab.ucsf.edu — Nagata Lab website (includes links to research & news articles about eating disorders in boys & men, screentime in adolescents & young adults, & much more)
Helping Boys Develop Healthy Body Image — ON BOYS episode
Boys & Body Image — ON BOYS episode
Boys Get Eating Disorders Too — ON BOYS episode
National Eating Disorder Association — includes links to help
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Summer Survive and Thrive Tips
ON BOYS Podcast
06/27/19 • 28 min
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Real Talk About Fentanyl, Opioids, & Marijuana
ON BOYS Podcast
04/04/24 • 53 min
Like it or not, fentanyl, other opioids, and marijuana are part of our boys’ world.
“It is very easy to get drugs on social media,” says Michelle Leopold, a mother who’s son, Trevor, died after taking a pill he purchase online.
Ignoring these uncomfortable fact isn’t helpful. We have to educate ourselves and educate our boys. Here’s why:
Marijuana harms young brainsToday’s marijuana and marijuana-based products are far stronger than those of the past.
“It’s so important to learn about today’s marijuana,”Michelle says. Although marijuana and THC products are now legal in many states, study after study has shown that these products are not safe for developing brains.
Fentanyl killsIn 2019, Trevor, age 18, swallowed a blue pill he thought was oxycodone. It wasn’t.
Despite its markings, there was no oxycodone in the pill. The pill Trevor purchased was a counterfeit pill, & it contained fentanyl, a narcotic that’s 100 times more powerful than morphine, 50 times more powerful than heroin—and lethal at just a few grains.
Trevor didn’t get high; Trevor died.
According to the US. Dept of Justice, over 150 people die every day from overdoses related to synthetic opioids like fentanyl. As many as 7 in 10 counterfeit pills — pills sold online & purported to be oxycodone or other “prescription” meds — may now contain a lethal dose of fentanyl.
“People now need to assume that any drug they don’t get from their pharmacist has fentanyl in it,” Michelle says. “The odds are not in your favor.”
“I am going to use Trevor’s story to prevent other parents from losing their children.” — Michelle Leopold
In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Michelle discuss:- How marijuana can affect teens & families
- Recognizing signs of drug use
- Cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome
- Parenting a child who is using substances
- Just Say KNOW vs. Just Say No
- Where teens and young adults are getting drugs & pills
- Getting & using naloxone (Narcan)
- Recognizing & responding to an overdose
Marijuana to Fentanyl: My Son is More Than a Statistic — post by Michelle
www.wearenotalone.community — Michelle’s blog (packed w info!)
Addiction Inoculation w Jessica Lahey — ON BOYS episode
Troubled Boys (w Kenneth R Rosen) — ON BOYS episode
Another View of Wilderness Therapy — ON BOYS episode
http://drugfree.org/ and toll-free Helpline (1-855-DRUGFREE / 1-855-378-4373)
SAMHSA National Helpline 1-800-662-4357 (Confidential free help, from public health agencies, to find substance use treatment and information)
dancesafe.org (Fentanyl Test Strips and Drug Checking Kits)
Adding Naloxone to Your First Aid Kit — Decipher Your Health post (NOTE: Jen now has naloxone in her home)
shatterproof.org — includes a Narcan training video
Al-Anon — support for family & friends of people w alcohol use disorder
Nar-Anon — support for family & friends of people who use narcotics
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FAQ
How many episodes does ON BOYS Podcast have?
ON BOYS Podcast currently has 375 episodes available.
What topics does ON BOYS Podcast cover?
The podcast is about Kids & Family, Podcasts and Education.
What is the most popular episode on ON BOYS Podcast?
The episode title 'Masculinity, Fatherhood, & Man Up' is the most popular.
What is the average episode length on ON BOYS Podcast?
The average episode length on ON BOYS Podcast is 40 minutes.
How often are episodes of ON BOYS Podcast released?
Episodes of ON BOYS Podcast are typically released every 7 days.
When was the first episode of ON BOYS Podcast?
The first episode of ON BOYS Podcast was released on Mar 12, 2018.
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