Neurodivergent Narratives Podcast

We are raised to think of all the things we’re not. As ADHDers we hear 20000 more negative comments than our neurotypical peers as children (probably more if we’re farther from societal ideals). We grow up hiding symptoms, apologising for ourselves and enduring school and other systems that don’t work with our differences in mind (including our intersectional identities!). We grow up with a damaged sense of self and low self worth. If we’ve grown up with undiagnosed ADHD, we don’t know what’s going on at all and that can feel even worse.
This episode shares a bit more about growing up and the messages I received about myself, how they shaped my experiences with undiagnosed ADHD, and what I’m trying to do now to be a lot kinder with myself as I explore becoming the person who I truly want to be
What I Learned:
1. Cultivating abundance
2. Looking for evidence
3. Progressive language affirmations
Takeaway tips:
1. Try your own progressive language affirmations:
Even though I’m learning what worthiness looks like for me, I’m still enough
I’m exploring what self worth looks like for me.
Connect with me:

On IG: https://www.instagram.com/theadhdgoodlife
On FB: https://www.facebook.com/adhdgoodlife
Site: https://www.wellnessandwhiteboards.com
Click for my ‘Building Self Worth’ freebie: https://bit.ly/35zfy57

Podcast to explore - on Apple Podcasts:
The Joy Junkie Podcast (with Amy Smith)
Apps I love:
Headspace - guided meditation & sleepscapes

This week is on self compassion and self kindness, something that I’ve realised is essential to our growth into becoming the people that we want to be, but we don’t really talk a lot about it. We do tend to talk a lot on how awful it feels to be criticised though, often because we’re ruminating on things and talking crap to ourselves the whole time.
I’m learning that in order to try new things, speak up for ourselves and generally start living the way we need to, we have to start feeling comfortable with making mistakes and doing things differently. In order to feel a lot better about that, how we talk to ourselves and how we receive criticism, because it’s inevitably going to happen, matters. Nothing about change comes easy, and if we’re still talking to ourselves in ways that make us fearful of making mistakes and making them define who we are, then we’re going to keep hidden and staying stuck.

In this episode I talk about how criticism has kept me afraid to make changes for myself, while developing coping mechanisms to avoid criticism as much as possible (which doesn’t actually work for creating a life you want for yourself by the way!). When I started thinking about all the mistakes that I was going to make on this journey, I knew that how I was treating myself, wasn’t going to be a great motivator to being brave and trying new things. It got me thinking about what I really had to do for myself, so my ongoing journey into developing a practice of self compassion began.

What I thought:

• Perfectionism
• People pleasing
• Being Black in white space

What I know now:

• Self compassion is made up of three parts
• Self compassion is necessary for personal growth

What I learned/ did:

1. Worthiness
2. Mindfulness/ meditation
3. Tracking how I talked to myself
4. Progressive Language Affirmations
5. Changing criticisms
6. Doing small promises of self care
7. Taking more practice pauses

Takeaway:

Grab my new EBOOK: They Were Wrong About You! Self Compassion with Neurodiversity in Mind’ FREE: https://bit.ly/2Zv455h
Resources:

Defining self compassion: www.selfcompassion.org

Connect with me:
On IG @theadhdgoodlife
On FB @adhdgoodlife
On Twitter @theadhdgoodlife
My website: www.wellnessandwhiteboards.com

Pausing is one of those things I didn’t realise was such a big deal until I was diagnosed and realised it was one of those things people knew what to do. Yes, I’ve experienced a lot of great stuff in the past because of my undiagnosed ADHD due to my impulsivity, but I’ve also messed up a fair bit too because of my inability to always pause. This has impacted all areas of my life and it’s not something that has been easy for me to develop (it’s still not). It feels like a skill I’ve had to learn how to implement into my life and it’s not easy (nor have I become an expert in it!) But this episode talks about some ways I’ve tried to practice developing it and what’s been working for me.

What I believed:

• Lack of control in my life
• Lack of willpower
• Everything needed to fall apart

What I know now:

• Medication helps
• Meditation as training (and helping for mindfulness too)
• Go to phrases to stop making yes your go to answer
• Finding ways that work for you

What I did:

1. Changing the way I saw myself
2. Pausing takes practice
3. Set alarms, reminders and visuals (to help with practicing)
4. Brought back to my breath

What you can do too:

1. When do you pause in your life? (Collect evidence)
2. How can you add practicing more pauses in your life?
3. Using reminders

Resources:

Connect with me:
On IG @theadhdgoodlife
On FB @adhdgoodlife
Site: www.wellnessandwhiteboards.com
Click for my ‘Building Self Worth’ freebie: https://bit.ly/35zfy57

We put meanings on everything, especially with our ADHD brains that go straight to avoiding and protecting ourselves when it comes to any criticisms. Our whole lives have been about being told all that we can’t do, or be. We’re sensitive creatures who typically tend to think we’re always wrong so to protect ourselves we try really hard to make sure we’re OK with people. But our sensitivity can make any comment mean either we were great or we weren’t. That’s a lot of power to give away to someone else in how we see ourselves! In this episode I talk about some stories of what I make things mean with people, why I feel we’re doing this (a lot!) and how I’m learning to clarify the real meaning when I feel like I might have connected what happened to making an inaccurate story in my head.

What I Thought:

• Feelings were facts
• I responded to feelings as if they were the facts

What I Learned:

• Breathe through triggers that come up
• Sit with the feelings to get a sense of the thinking behind them

How I Shared:

‘I felt very x when this happened. I made it mean y (because...connection to my past experience). Can you help me see what this was about for you?

Resources:
Please support the podcast on my patreon page

Connect with me:
On IG @theadhdgoodlife
On FB @adhdgoodlife
Site: www.wellnessandwhiteboards.com
Click for my ‘Building Self Worth’ freebie: https://bit.ly/35zfy57

I think we grow up learning not to trust ourselves, ignoring what we feel is right for us because of all the ways we’re told by the people closest to us and the rest of society what we need to learn to change and correct. The criticism feels like so much and it’s so hard to navigate with our emotions, so we learn to stop listening to ourselves and do what others want in the hopes that they will befriend us, help show us that we can be better. We think that others may be able to guide us to be better. We’ve been wrong so often, we can’t trust that we know what’s right for us anymore. All the criticism around us teaches us that we can’t trust ourselves to do things without others’ help. This episode explores how this looks like for me with a few stories and the one thing that I’m doing to help develop my self trust and why this works.

What I knew:

• Not listening to my intuition
• Not remembering the lessons learned in past mistakes
• Constant criticism
• Listening to everyone else around me and not myself
• Feeling feel so intense,

The problems with self trust I experience:

• Control
• Perfectionism
• Oversensitive to criticism
• People pleasing

Takeaway tip:

• One Small Self Care Promise (ex: write 3 things you’re grateful for, drink a glass of water first thing, make your bed, stretch, do 10 push ups first thing)

Resources:

Connect with me:

On IG @theadhdgoodlife
On FB @adhdgoodlife
On Twitter: @theadhdgoodlife
Site: www.wellnessandwhiteboards.com

Click for my ‘Building Self Worth’ freebie: https://bit.ly/35zfy57