Neurodivergent Narratives Podcast - Changing What I Make Things Mean

Changing What I Make Things Mean

06/16/20 • 29 min

We put meanings on everything, especially with our ADHD brains that go straight to avoiding and protecting ourselves when it comes to any criticisms. Our whole lives have been about being told all that we can’t do, or be. We’re sensitive creatures who typically tend to think we’re always wrong so to protect ourselves we try really hard to make sure we’re OK with people. But our sensitivity can make any comment mean either we were great or we weren’t. That’s a lot of power to give away to someone else in how we see ourselves! In this episode I talk about some stories of what I make things mean with people, why I feel we’re doing this (a lot!) and how I’m learning to clarify the real meaning when I feel like I might have connected what happened to making an inaccurate story in my head.

What I Thought:

Feelings were facts
I responded to feelings as if they were the facts

What I Learned:

Breathe through triggers that come up
Sit with the feelings to get a sense of the thinking behind them

How I Shared:

‘I felt very x when this happened. I made it mean y (because...connection to my past experience). Can you help me see what this was about for you?

Resources:
Please support the podcast on my patreon page

Connect with me:
On IG @theadhdgoodlife
On FB @adhdgoodlife
Site: www.wellnessandwhiteboards.com
Click for my ‘Building Self Worth’ freebie: https://bit.ly/35zfy57

Support the show

What I Thought:

Feelings were facts
I responded to feelings as if they were the facts

What I Learned:

Breathe through triggers that come up
Sit with the feelings to get a sense of the thinking behind them

How I Shared:

‘I felt very x when this happened. I made it mean y (because...connection to my past experience). Can you help me see what this was about for you?

Resources:
Please support the podcast on my patreon page

Connect with me:
On IG @theadhdgoodlife
On FB @adhdgoodlife
Site: www.wellnessandwhiteboards.com
Click for my ‘Building Self Worth’ freebie: https://bit.ly/35zfy57

Support the show

Previous Episode

Issues with Self Trust

I think we grow up learning not to trust ourselves, ignoring what we feel is right for us because of all the ways we’re told by the people closest to us and the rest of society what we need to learn to change and correct. The criticism feels like so much and it’s so hard to navigate with our emotions, so we learn to stop listening to ourselves and do what others want in the hopes that they will befriend us, help show us that we can be better. We think that others may be able to guide us to be better. We’ve been wrong so often, we can’t trust that we know what’s right for us anymore. All the criticism around us teaches us that we can’t trust ourselves to do things without others’ help. This episode explores how this looks like for me with a few stories and the one thing that I’m doing to help develop my self trust and why this works.

What I knew:

Not listening to my intuition
Not remembering the lessons learned in past mistakes
Constant criticism
Listening to everyone else around me and not myself
Feeling feel so intense,

The problems with self trust I experience:

Control
Perfectionism
Oversensitive to criticism
People pleasing

Takeaway tip:

One Small Self Care Promise (ex: write 3 things you’re grateful for, drink a glass of water first thing, make your bed, stretch, do 10 push ups first thing)

Resources:

Connect with me:

On IG @theadhdgoodlife
On FB @adhdgoodlife
On Twitter: @theadhdgoodlife
Site: www.wellnessandwhiteboards.com

Click for my ‘Building Self Worth’ freebie: https://bit.ly/35zfy57

Support the show

Next Episode

On Learning to Pause

Pausing is one of those things I didn’t realise was such a big deal until I was diagnosed and realised it was one of those things people knew what to do. Yes, I’ve experienced a lot of great stuff in the past because of my undiagnosed ADHD due to my impulsivity, but I’ve also messed up a fair bit too because of my inability to always pause. This has impacted all areas of my life and it’s not something that has been easy for me to develop (it’s still not). It feels like a skill I’ve had to learn how to implement into my life and it’s not easy (nor have I become an expert in it!) But this episode talks about some ways I’ve tried to practice developing it and what’s been working for me.

What I believed:

Lack of control in my life
Lack of willpower
Everything needed to fall apart

What I know now:

Medication helps
Meditation as training (and helping for mindfulness too)
Go to phrases to stop making yes your go to answer
Finding ways that work for you

What I did:

Changing the way I saw myself
Pausing takes practice
Set alarms, reminders and visuals (to help with practicing)
Brought back to my breath

What you can do too:

When do you pause in your life? (Collect evidence)
How can you add practicing more pauses in your life?
Using reminders

Resources:

Connect with me:
On IG @theadhdgoodlife
On FB @adhdgoodlife
Site: www.wellnessandwhiteboards.com
Click for my ‘Building Self Worth’ freebie: https://bit.ly/35zfy57

Support the show

Neurodivergent Narratives Podcast - Changing What I Make Things Mean

Transcript

0:00
The response I got from telling you, you know, this issue I'm having with all of the tea choices being asked, and how I was feeling decision fatigue, I made it mean that what I needed wasn't important to you, and how I felt, in my opinion wasn't important to you.
0:28
Hey there, you're listening to the ADHD Good Life podcast. Each week, we explore stories, ideas, or topics around neurodiversity, an intersectional lens, and the personal growth strategies we found most helpful in t