Divorce Happens

Divorce Happens. In fact, it happens to almost 50 percent of first marriages. So, let’s talk about it. Welcome to Divorce Happens, a podcast to educate, inspire, support, and yes, make you laugh, through divorce and beyond so you can start fresh on the next phase of your journey. Remember, divorce happens, and then we start fresh.

I’m Olivia Dreizen Howell, the CEO and Co-founder of Fresh Starts Registry and I’m here to walk beside you as we muddle through the messiness of divorce, with support, inspiration, laughter, and a lot of great snacks. I promise. Stay tuned for expert advice, interesting conversations, and everything you need to support you through divorce and beyond.

Divorce Happens is Produced by Fresh Starts Registry, the only divorce registry platform for everything you need to begin again, including home items, hype team, and everything in between. Remember, divorce happens...and then, we start fresh. We're here to support you before, during, and after divorce. Head to FreshStartsRegistry.com for more info.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this heartfelt episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia sits down with Erin Snow, founder of Seacoast Listening Lounge and longtime advocate for women navigating divorce. Erin shares how her work as a legal professional in family law and her own personal divorce journey led her to create a safe, confidential, and judgment-free space for people who need to be truly heard. Her listening sessions are not therapy—they're something just as vital: compassionate, intentional human connection.

Erin and Olivia dive into the emotional weight of not feeling heard during divorce, and how the ability to speak without fear or judgment can be transformational. Erin shares why active listening is a powerful tool in emotional recovery, why it’s often missing in divorce conversations, and how listening with empathy can shift everything. From "verbal smash sessions" to quiet, meditative listening spaces, Erin explains how every conversation is shaped by the individual’s needs in that moment.

If you’ve ever felt alone, overwhelmed, or unsure who you can talk to during a life transition, this episode is a must-listen. Erin reminds us that healing starts when we feel safe enough to share—and that we all deserve to feel supported, seen, and understood.

Learn more about Erin and Seacoast Listening Lounge: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/resourceguide/seacoast-listening-lounge

Olivia Howell: Hello, hello, and welcome back to Divorce Happens, the podcast where we support you before, during, and after divorce with education, inspiration, and a little bit of laughter. Because, as we know, divorce happens—and then you start fresh. Today, we're here with one of our Fresh Starts experts, Erin Snow. Erin, can you tell us a little bit about who you are and what you do?

Erin Snow: Hi Olivia, thank you so much for having me! I’m really excited to be on the podcast. I’m Erin Snow, and I live in Seacoast, New Hampshire. I own Seacoast Listening Lounge, which is both an event space and a professional listening service for women who are looking to share their story in a safe and confidential space without judgment.

Olivia Howell: I love that! When Erin registered to be a Fresh Starts expert, we were like, "What is this? We’ve never heard of this before." I’m so excited to be showcasing you to the world because I love what you do. You have a long background in divorce advocacy and related areas. Let’s talk about the importance of listening during a divorce. Because often, people going through a divorce feel like nobody's listening to them. Why is active listening so important during that time?

Erin Snow: I can speak to this on both a professional and personal level. I worked in family law for over 16 years with New Hampshire Legal Assistance, handling high-conflict divorce, parenting, and protective order cases for domestic violence, stalking, and sexual assault survivors. Then I went through my own divorce. One of the reasons I started Seacoast Listening Lounge was because I saw a real lack of space where people could be heard—truly listened to—without judgment.

People going through divorce are under emotional and financial stress. You’re worrying about yourself, your kids, and how others will react. Having a space to just let it all out opens the valve. If we don’t create space to release that pressure, it builds up and becomes unmanageable. Empathetic listening doesn’t have to be hard, but it does require intention. It’s simply about letting someone know: “I’m here for you, no matter what you want to say.”

Erin Snow: When I was a paralegal, clients would come in, and I’d have a specific agenda—like calculating child support—but inevitably, they’d veer off into other topics. And instead of rushing to redirect, I learned to ask: What’s really going on here? Are they worried about money, about their kids? Sometimes you have to pause and create space for the person to speak before focusing on logistics.

Olivia Howell: Right, and I think so many people have never even been asked, "How do you want me to listen to you today?"

Erin Snow: Exactly. Creating that safe space can change everything. And personally, I know what it feels like to have no one to talk to. I didn’t share anything about my divorce—not even with friends. Most people didn’t know until they saw a U-Haul in my driveway. I was afraid of judgment, of how others would react. And because I had kids, I was especially careful about what I shared. My friends were also the parents o...

In this powerful episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell sits down with former divorce attorney and current mortgage expert Matthew DiBrino to unpack one of the most stressful parts of divorce: what to do about the house. With years of legal experience and now co-owner of High Quality Mortgage, Matthew brings a rare and compassionate dual perspective to navigating real estate during separation.

From understanding your mortgage options to knowing when and how to get pre-approved, Matthew offers actionable advice for anyone wondering what happens to their home during a divorce. He breaks down common scenarios like buyouts, refinancing, and why getting a mortgage pre-approval early in the process can save you time, money, and emotional stress.

Whether you're in the middle of a divorce or planning for a fresh start, this episode will help you feel more empowered and informed about one of the biggest assets involved in a separation. Plus, Matthew shares encouragement, real-life examples, and a refreshing approach to supporting clients as whole people—not just numbers on paper.

Learn more about Matthew DiBrino on his Fresh Starts profile: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/resourceguide/high-quality-mortgage-llc

Olivia Howell (Host): Hello, hello! Welcome back to Divorce Happens, the podcast where we support you before, during, and after divorce with education, inspiration, and a little bit of laughter—because as we know, divorce happens, and then you start fresh. Today we’re here with one of our Fresh Starts experts, talking about a very important topic. Matthew, can you tell us who you are and what you do?

Matthew D. DiBrino: Sure! Hi, my name is Matthew DiBrino. I'm a former practicing divorce attorney. I began my legal journey in 1999, clerking for the Honorable Thomas F. Brogan in Passaic County, who was then in the Family Division. After that, I received incredible training from one of the best attorneys I know, Jose Bastyr in Paterson, New Jersey. I worked in divorce law for quite some time until about 10 years ago, when I left the practice and opened High Quality Mortgage. I haven’t practiced law in a decade, but I still work closely with divorce attorneys and their clients.

I also went through a divorce myself. And something to note—one of my mentors was Joseph Noda, one of the founders of the collaborative divorce process. That approach really focuses on making the process less contentious and more amicable.

Olivia: Absolutely. There’s really nobody better to talk to about this than you. When I went through my divorce, owning a home with my ex-husband brought up a lot of questions. The house is often the number one concern when people start considering separation. Let’s talk about that. What’s the first step if you have a mortgage and you’re starting the divorce process, but don’t know what you’re going to do with the home?

Matthew: Great question. The first thing you want to do is evaluate your options, which starts with getting a fair market appraisal of the home. That’s going to give you clarity. From there, you typically have three options:

1. Sell the home and split the proceeds (though that can be adjusted depending on the divorce terms).
2. One party buys out the other’s equity.
3. Refinance to remove one party from the mortgage and deed.

Let’s say there’s $100,000 in equity—$400,000 home value, $300,000 mortgage. That means each party is entitled to $50,000. If one spouse is buying out the other, they’d need to provide that amount to get them off the mortgage and deed.

The issue we often see is that agreements are made assuming one party can refinance—but later they find out they can’t qualify. I’d love to see pre-approvals happen much earlier—during mediation or early settlement panels—so that everyone knows what’s actually possible.

Olivia: That makes so much sense. And you can get pre-approved before you’ve even talked about divorce with your spouse, right?

Matthew: Yes, absolutely. Pre-approval depends on verifying income and pulling credit, which we can do independently from the spouse. Whether you’re salaried or self-employed affects how we calculate usable income. The only complication early on might be factoring in child support or alimony, if that will be a part of your income.

Olivia: So it’s better to get that clarity up front, even quietly, so you can mak...

In this powerful episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia sits down with grief support specialist and founder of Grieve Leave, Rebecca Feinglos, to explore the layered emotions and life shifts that come with divorce. Together, they dive deep into the intersection of grief and relationship loss, revealing how losing a parent can shape how we love—and leave. Rebecca shares her own story of heartbreak and healing, highlighting the pivotal moment she realized she didn’t have to normalize unhealthy behavior in her marriage.

Rebecca opens up about the three biggest lessons she learned through divorce: that you are never truly stuck, that self-discovery is a vital part of the healing process, and that it’s okay to feel both grief and freedom at the same time. She emphasizes the importance of tuning into your gut, even when the world around you tells you to stay. Her insights remind listeners that grief doesn’t just follow death—it can show up in endings of all kinds, and it deserves time, space, and care.

Rebecca Feinglos (pronounced fine-gloss) is a certified grief support specialist, startup founder, and former policy advisor who launched Grieve Leave in 2021 after experiencing profound personal loss, including the deaths of both parents and a difficult divorce. Grieve Leave has since grown into a global movement, reaching over 30,000 people and encouraging intentional time for grieving through community, resources, and humor. Based between North Carolina and Montreal, Rebecca is a nationally recognized voice in grief advocacy, featured in TIME, HuffPost, and ELLE, and she's on a mission to make the world more grief-informed—one honest conversation at a time.

Transcript – Divorce Happens with Grieve Leave Founder Rebecca Feinglos

Olivia: Welcome back to Divorce Happens, the podcast where we support you before, during, and after divorce with education, inspiration, and a little bit of laughter—because as we know, divorce happens, and then you start fresh. Today, I'm joined by someone very special, someone I first connected with years ago when we were both building our platforms. We share a love of grief work, Jewish family roots, and yes—even puppets. Rebecca, I'm so glad you're here. Can you introduce yourself?

Rebecca Feinglos: Thanks, Olivia. I'm so excited to be here. I'm Rebecca Feinglos, the founder of Grieve Leave, an organization that focuses on grief, loss, and helping people navigate all types of grief—not just death. As someone who lost both of my parents before the age of 30 and then went through a divorce, I understand how grief can manifest in many forms. At Grieve Leave, we talk about grief that stems from life transitions like divorce, and we encourage people to take intentional time to process those experiences.

Olivia: I love that. It’s so important to normalize grief beyond death. As you know, I’m also happily divorced, but the grief still shows up sometimes. With that in mind, I’d love to know—what are the three biggest things you learned from your divorce?

Rebecca: First, you are not stuck. I felt stuck for so long in a life I thought I wanted. I had invested years into the relationship and told myself I had to make it work because of that. But it took losing both of my parents to realize that I wasn’t stuck—that I could make a different choice. And I did. I separated from my ex at 31 and haven’t looked back.

Olivia: That’s powerful. Did your parents know him?

Rebecca: My mom died when I was very young, so she never met him. But my dad did. He started seeing through the cracks of our relationship before I fully admitted what was happening. His concern and support were huge for me. After he passed, one of the questions my therapist asked was, “Would your dad support you in leaving?” And my answer was a resounding yes. That gave me clarity. It was heartbreaking, but I knew I had to break the cycle.

Olivia: That makes so much sense. I know people who stay in relationships because they feel like they’re honoring a deceased parent’s wishes. I imagine it must be hard dating again, knowing your new partner will never meet your dad.

Rebecca: It was really hard at first. My dad was my best friend, my moral compass. But I’ve learned that my partner can still get to know him—through me. Through my stories, my values, and who I am. That’s the vulnerability part. It’s not easy, but it’s beautiful too.

Olivia: What’s the second big thing you learned from your divorce?

Rebecca: You don’t have to be yelled at all the time. That might s...

In this heartfelt and poetic episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell sits down with writer, professor, and single mom Kelly McMasters to explore the deep emotional work of divorce—and the self-discovery that follows. Kelly shares powerful quotes that helped anchor her through her own experience, including words from poets like Marie Howe and Joy Harjo. She explains how poetry offered moments of stillness, truth, and community when everything else felt uncertain.

Kelly opens up about the emotional weight of letting go of fantasies, expectations, and the version of love she once believed in. Together, she and Olivia reflect on how divorce often brings us back to childhood, revealing the roots of our beliefs about love, safety, and self-worth. Kelly also discusses her acclaimed book The Leaving Season, and how writing it helped her reclaim her story—not just as a divorcée, but as a mother, artist, and woman rebuilding home from the ground up.

This episode is a celebration of growth, honesty, and the surprising beauty of starting over. If you’re navigating the messy middle of divorce—or simply seeking insight into how we piece ourselves back together—you’ll walk away from this conversation feeling seen, supported, and inspired.

Olivia Howell: Hello, hello! Welcome back to Divorce Happens, the podcast where we support you before, during, and after divorce—with education, inspiration, and of course, a little bit of laughter. Because divorce happens, and then you start fresh. Today, I’m here with our friend Kelly. Kelly, who are you? What do you do? Where are you from?

Kelly McMasters: Hi! I’m Kelly McMasters. I'm a mom, a writer, a professor—and I’m divorced.

Olivia: I love that. One of our favorite things to do on this podcast is talk to people who’ve gone through divorce about what they’ve learned. I truly believe divorce is one of the most intense learning environments we’ll ever experience. So, Kelly, what were three things you learned from your divorce?

Kelly: I love that you used the word “environment,” because divorce really does have these amorphous borders—it’s all-encompassing. One thing I learned is how important it is to find small anchors. For me, poetry was one of those anchors. I was at a reading recently and in walked this famous poet—wild hair and all—and I realized it was Marie Howe. Her poetry helped me get through my divorce. I even used one of her lines to open my book:

That line has so many meanings, but to me, it means that in the moment of deep grief, it feels like you are completely alone—that no one else could understand. But the truth is, you are not alone. It’s a reminder to reach out in those dark moments.

Another quote that helped me is from Willa Cather’s The Professor's House:

That quote reminded me that I had to let go of the fantasy. Let go of what I thought was true. That was the hardest part—letting go of expectations, hopes, and dreams so I could live in the real world again. Once I did that, everything shifted.

Olivia: Can you read that first quote again?

Kelly: “You think this happened only once—and long ago?”

Olivia: I love that so much. That resonates deeply with me. When you go through divorce, it often brings you back to who you were as a child. You start realizing that your definitions of love were formed way before your marriage. For me, it was even more of a personal rediscovery than motherhood. I had to uncover and heal the pieces of me that stayed in a marriage that wasn’t loving.

Kelly: Absolutely. That really resonates. Another poem that helped me is by Joy Harjo, called “Memory Sack.” It has three short lines:

That helped me see divorce not as isolation but as entering into a new community.

Olivia: Yes! I get that completely.

Kelly: And Olivia, thank you for the work you do—bringing people together, creating this space. I didn’t have that when I was going through it. That’s one of the reasons I wrote The Leaving Season. Now, we have communities online, in bookshops, and through amazing authors like Amy Shearn, Maggie Smith, and more who are reshaping how we talk about divorce.

Olivia: When did you get divorced?

Kelly: Officially, in 2016. But I left in 2013.

Olivia: I feel like the last five years have completely changed the narrative around...