But Really, How Are You?

How we are raised and who raises us is one of the greatest influences on our lives. Some of us easily find faults in our parents or wish they had shown up in different ways. For others of us, we hold our parents in high esteem and believe they did a great job. But none of us had perfect parents.
It can be hard to admit that our parents may have fallen short at times and it can be even harder to examine how this may have impacted us. It all left an imprint on our lives.
In this episode, we talk with Dr. Lindsay Gibson about emotionally immature parents. We discuss things such as black and white thinking, moral obligation, a low tolerance for stress, and pressuring other people to meet one’s own needs. She describes four different types of parents—emotional, driven, passive, and rejecting—and how they impact us as children.
Dr. Lindsay also discusses what we can do with this information and how we can improve our relationships with our parents and our own children. This is a really insightful episode that will help you look at the generational effects of your family’s emotional well-being.
Key takeaways

• A little about herself and the work she’s doing
• Ways parents influence their children
• What is meant by emotionally immature parents
• What affective realism is
• Four different types of parents
• How emotionally immature parents can affect their children’s boundaries
• What narcissistic personality disorder is
• How children should communicate with emotionally immature parents
• How to be a relationship leader
• How to teach your parents what your values are
• How children of emotionally immature parents should reconnect with their true selves
• Last thoughts she wants to share with the listeners

Books

• Who You Were Meant to Be: A Guide to Finding or Recovering Your Life’s Purpose by Lindsay C. Gibson - https://www.amazon.com/Who-You-Were-Meant-Recovering-ebook/dp/B01HLN6M78
• Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson - https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents/dp/1626251703

Dr. Lindsay Gibson Bio:
Lindsay C. Gibson holds both a Master’s and Doctoral Degree in clinical psychology. She has been a psychodiagnostician and psychotherapist for over thirty years, working in both public and private practice. In the past, Dr. Gibson has served as an Adjunct Assistant Professor for the Virginia Consortium Program for Clinical Psychology, teaching doctoral students clinical theory and psychotherapeutic techniques.
Dr. Gibson is the author of three books, Who You Were Meant to Be, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, and Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents. She has also written a monthly column on Well-Being for Tidewater Women magazine (www.tidewaterwomen.com) for over twenty years. Dr. Gibson lives and works in Virginia Beach, Virginia.

From the moment a child is born, they are shaped by the world outside themselves. However, if you look at a young child, it is evident that they have their own unique personality. Because of this, various personality typing tools have evolved to help a person understand one’s self and others better.

The Enneagram has its roots in ancient tradition, and has become a modern way to synthesize various personality types. The Enneagram outlines only nine personality types; however, this seemingly simple system is quite complex when you look below the surface.

In Episode 36, we invited Enneagram Coach Ramona Reid to provide a broad overview of the Enneagram types. Ramona shares the importance of the Enneagram, how groups of Enneagram types operate in similar ways, and how we can approach understanding our own Enneagram type. Whether this is familiar or your first time hearing about the Enneagram , this episode will provide you with a better understanding of yourself and others.

Key Takeaways

• Ramona’s journey to getting into the enneagram
• Her view on what enneagram is
• On understanding enneagram for emotional wellbeing
• How she correlates somatic experience of emotion and the enneagram types
• Her explanation on the nine enneagram types according to the centres of intelligence
• How she distinguishes what enneagram type a person is
• Her recommended resources on the enneagram
• Her view on understanding the enneagram types to help people understand things better
• How she uses enneagram to analyze what a person needs in a situation
• How she uses enneagram in relationships
• How enneagram helps in searching for life’s purpose or meaning for her

Links

• Ramona Reid on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramona-reid-103187b1/
• Ramona Reid on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/rooreid/
• Enneagram Institute - https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/
• Holistic Revolution Radio Shows - http://www.mynashvillecenter.com/
• Green Circle Initiatives - https://www.greencircleinitiatives.com/but-really-how-are-you

Book

• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk M.D. - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18693771-the-body-keeps-the-score
• The Brain-Based Enneagram by Jerome D. Lubbe - https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/51977642-the-brain-based-enneagram
• The Honest Enneagram by Sarajane Case - https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/52152562-the-honest-enneagram
• The Wisdom of the Enneagram by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/311053.The_Wisdom_of_the_Enneagram

Podcast

• The Sleeping at Last Podcast - https://sleepingatlast.podbean.com/
• Enneagram Worldwide - https://enneagramworldwide.com/

App

As Well - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.greencircleinitiatives.aswell&hl=en&gl=US

When emotions arise, oftentimes we try to figure out how to fix them, rather than asking what they are trying to tell us. However, our emotions are not separate from or intelligence or logic. In fact, emotions are messengers telling us about what we may need or events to pay attention to.

In Episode 38, we speak with Karla McLaren on the purpose of emotions. She explains the importance of connecting with them and how it benefits our well-being. Karla dives into the specific messages that anger, sadness, grief, anxiety, frustration, happiness and hope are telling us. Karla also researches empathy, and she shares her model of how true empathy works. By the end of this episode, you will learn that emotions aren’t something that need to be fixed, but instead they need to be understood. If you want to grow in your understanding of emotions, this is the episode for you!

Key Takeaways

• Karla’s work and the things that she does
• Her explanation on what emotions are and what it tells
• How she thinks emotions are related to intelligence and logic
• On connecting with emotions
• The benefits of investigating emotions for her
• Her view on how emotions work
• The effects of working in an unhealthy work or social environment for her
• Sharing her communication practices for workers to create small areas of engagement
• Her view on what empathy is
• Her explanation of the six aspects model of empathy
• Her opinion on what sadness and grief are and what it tells us
• What frustration vs anger is for her
• How can people work on handling anger for her
• What hope and happiness are for her
• How she thinks understanding emotions help us deal with life differently
• Her four families of emotions to knowing emotions
• How understanding emotions helps in handling problems for her
• How she thinks people tune in to empathy despite feeling fatigue
• The message that she wants to leave with the listeners

Link

• Karla McLaren on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/karla-mclaren-m-ed-17b947a2/
• Karla McLaren on Twitter - https://twitter.com/KarlaMcLaren
• Karla McLaren Website - https://karlamclaren.com/
• As Well App - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.greencircleinitiatives.aswell&hl=en_IN&gl=US
• Green Circle Initiatives Website - https://www.greencircleinitiatives.com/

Book

• Practices for Embracing Anxiety by Karla McLaren M.Ed. - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52079401-practices-for-embracing-anxiety
• Power of Emotions at Work by Karla McLaren M.Ed. - coming out in August 2021

Bio:

Karla McLaren, M.Ed. is an award-winning author, social science researcher, and empathy pioneer. Her lifelong work focuses on her grand unified theory of emotions, which revalues even the most “negative” emotions and opens startling new pathways into self-awareness, effective communication, and healthy empathy.

Karla is the author of Embracing Anxiety: How to Access the Genius of this Vital Emotion (2020), The Dynamic Emotional Integration® Workbook (2018), The Art of Empathy: A Complete Guide to Life’s Most Essential Skill (2013), and many audio learning programs and online courses.

Body image is the picture we create in our mind about ourselves. It can be positive or negative, constant or ever-changing. Our parents, culture, friends, and even our thoughts contribute to how we form our body image. Are there things you would like to change about the way you look? And if those things changed, how would that impact your life? These are some of the questions we talk about in this episode with Dr. Katherine Iscoe, a leading expert in cultivating positive body image.
In this episode, we talk about the everyday struggles for men and women and how key factors and beliefs influence our self-view. Dr. Katherine also talks about how we can generate resilience in the face of stress and how to look for the much-needed ways to care for ourselves during challenging times. If you want to learn the first steps towards changing your view of your self-image, listen to this episode!
Key Takeaways

• Dr. Katherine on how prevailing negative body image is
• How negative body image affects one’s life for her
• Her idea of gender differences in negative body image
• Dr. Katherine on the impact of the brain on negative body image
• How do family and social media affect negative body image for her
• Her idea of gaining control over thoughts: its process and next steps
• She talks about self-care versus self-obsession
• Embracing body change for her
• What she thinks about doing things for yourself versus doing things for others
• She advises on how to change confidently
• Her theory of body confidence
• How to apply the step approach in the pandemic for her
• How she turns stress into strength
• Her advice on the importance of helping and being helped
• Managing energy for her

Book

• Body Confidence: The Scientific Approach on How to Shine from Within - https://www.amazon.com/Body-Confidence-Scientific-Approach-Within/dp/0646598635
• Untamed by Glennon Doyle - https://untamedbook.com/

Link

• Dr. Katherine Iscoe’s LinkedIn - http://au.linkedin.com/in/dr-katherine-iscoe-23601719
• Dr. Katherine Iscoe’s website - www.drkatherine.com
• Dr. Katherine Iscoe’s instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr_katherine/?hl=n

Bio:
Dr Katherine Iscoe is a “Mindset Mentor”, and self-proclaimed shoe addict, with a mission to activate a person’s dormant potential through education, inspiration & a touch of tough love.
She is also a proud published author, an experienced and passionate speaker and the co-founder of the technology company MyFiziq Limited - an ASX-listed company with a multi-million-dollar market capitalisation.
Her unique approach to catalysing change, often described as an “educational and humorous roller coaster ride”, is informed by extensive research, personal experiences and academic qualifications including Bachelor of Arts in Health Sciences (Summa Cum Laude), Master of Science in Exercise Physiology and Health Sciences, a Doctorate in Exercise Physiology and Biotechnology and a Post-graduate Certificate in Counselling.
Most recently, Katherine has launched a series of new programs for individuals and teams, as well as mentoring for ambitious people wanting to make that next significant step towards their dream goals, while continuing to nurture a community that aims to bring together people from all walks of life, who inspire, support and nudge each other to accomplish great things.

Oftentimes, when we think of being creative, we associate it with a form of art or creating a product. But being a creative person is more about how we think than what we produce. And living a creative life can affect every aspect from relationships, to problem solving, or self expression.
In this episode, we talk with Dr. Terri Goslin-Jones about creativity and how it impacts our emotional well-being. She helps define what everyday creativity is and how it can change the way we view life. Creativity is something that we can practice and grow in, and through this also grow as a person. Creativity can help us find challenging solutions or transition during big life changes. Getting in touch with our creative side can help us get in touch with our inner landscape. Give this episode a listen to learn more!
Key Takeaways

• A little about Terri and her work
• What creativity is for her
• Terri’s definition of everyday creativity
• How creativity crosses psychology and wellness for her
• How she sees life without creativity
• Changing people internally through creativity for her
• On the importance of opening up to creativity
• Using creativity in teaching psychology or working with people for her
• The effects of living creatively to a person’s well-being for her
• On creativity in relationships
• Her idea of helping people through creativity to move in different stages of life
• On creativity as a product
• How to discover creativity for her
• Her view on using creativity to overcome difficulties
• On mindfulness creativity and collaboration
• How she uses creativity to make changes in life
• Her opinion on creating yourself through creativity
• Terri’s tips on opening the creativity box
• Her view on starting simple with creativity
• On using meditation and sounding
• Her thoughts on everyone’s creative potential

Link

• Dr. Terri Goslin-Jones Website - https://terrigoslin-jones.com/
• Dr. Terri Goslin-Jones on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/terri-goslin-jones-ph-d-981438/

Bio:
In my private practice as a workplace psychologist, I work with individuals and groups. I also work as a psychology professor and teach coursework and supervise research on creativity studies.
My business mission is to Discover the Wonder of People at WorkTM. My core belief is that work becomes more meaningful when creativity is nurtured through the expression of a person’s unique gifts, talents, and perspectives. My coaching creates a path for growth, change, and personal renewal. Prior to consulting, I spent my career working as a Director / VP of Human Resources.
Personal Interests:
I am passionate about living a life that is meaningful, authentic, creative and will make a difference to my family, friends, clients and colleagues. I am committed to family life, expressive arts, gardening, and a love for life-long learning, physical fitness, spirituality, and international travel.
Education:
Ph.D., Psychology, Saybrook University, Pasadena, CA
Dissertation focus: Creativity and the Workplace
M.A., Personnel and Counseling, Miami University-Ohio
B.A., Psychology, Western Michigan University