Episode 40: Ending Well & Starting New with Debbie Laaser

03/14/21 • 56 min

1 Listener

This is the final episode for this season! Endings can bring up mixed emotions: sadness, excitement, grief, anticipation, and gratefulness to name a few. Some endings happen intentionally and some are without choice. Whether that’s leaving a job, ending a relationship, selling a home, or even moving, we can end well by intentionally thinking how we would like to exit. Ending well makes room for new beginnings.

In episode 40, we speak with Debbie Laaser on ending well and starting new beginnings. She shares how to recognize when it may be time to end a season, the emotions that may arise, and how to do it with intentionality. This emptying out process creates room for what’s next in our lives. When we feel stuck in our current circumstances, Debbie explains that sometimes it’s about making the next right choice, rather than figuring out the entire plan. It is through listening to ourselves that we can know when to move on and how to discover what will truly give us a sense of joy and fulfillment.

If you are trying to figure out how to end well or what may be next, this is a great episode for you! Thanks for joining us this season on But Really, How Are You?

Key Takeaways

Debbie’s thoughts about the topic -- Ending well
Some beliefs that come along with ending things or being at the stand-still for her
What she thinks people feel when they are on a stand-still or stuck
On knowing when to change thoughts and beliefs vs. changing what is happening in life
Beliefs that influence decisions in life for her
On the importance of paying attention to emotions and their message
Debbie’s story on moving on and finding joy
The list that Debbie recommends to aid in finding joy
Her thoughts on how to end things well
Knowing when to end a relationship and how to end it in a healthy way for her
On sadness as a healthy part of ending things
The benefit of ending things well for her in the long run
Her view on the next small steps to pay attention to ending things well
A conversation on finding the next right house and denying self of joy
Lessons she learned from the book Big Magic
Her belief that helped her find joy
CorryAnn’s final thanks to close season 1

Link

Debbie Laaser on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/debra-laaser-5b640514/

Book

Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/24453082-big-magic

Bio:

Debbie Laaser, M.A., LMFT is a licensed marriage and family therapist and was involved in recovery with her husband, Mark, for over thirty years. After Mark’s passing in 2019, she became the Director of Faithful & True. Debbie has facilitated therapy groups and counseled relationally betrayed wives for over 20 years. She is the author of Shattered Vows and co-author with Mark of Seven Desires and A Toolkit for Growth: Practical Recovery Tools for Individuals and Couples. Debbie’s recent research project, “Posttraumatic Growth in Relationally Betrayed Women” was published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.

If you are trying to figure out how to end well or what may be next, this is a great episode for you! Thanks for joining us this season on But Really, How Are You?

Key Takeaways

Debbie’s thoughts about the topic -- Ending well
Some beliefs that come along with ending things or being at the stand-still for her
What she thinks people feel when they are on a stand-still or stuck
On knowing when to change thoughts and beliefs vs. changing what is happening in life
Beliefs that influence decisions in life for her
On the importance of paying attention to emotions and their message
Debbie’s story on moving on and finding joy
The list that Debbie recommends to aid in finding joy
Her thoughts on how to end things well
Knowing when to end a relationship and how to end it in a healthy way for her
On sadness as a healthy part of ending things
The benefit of ending things well for her in the long run
Her view on the next small steps to pay attention to ending things well
A conversation on finding the next right house and denying self of joy
Lessons she learned from the book Big Magic
Her belief that helped her find joy
CorryAnn’s final thanks to close season 1

Link

Debbie Laaser on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/debra-laaser-5b640514/

Book

Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/24453082-big-magic

Bio:

Previous Episode

Episode 39: Mindfulness, Meditation, and Yoga with Dr. Sara Lazar

Over the past few years, there has been growing popularity around the practices of mindfulness, meditation, and yoga. Curious about the life changing effects these practices had on so many, researchers began to question if there really was scientific evidence to support these practices. Dr. Sara Lazar was one of these individuals who wanted solid evidence that these practices produced changes in the brain.

In Episode 39, we discuss with Dr. Sara Lazar about her research in the effects of mindfulness, meditation, and yoga. She shares about specific areas of the brain that these practices affect, and how they truly reduce our brain's response to things like stress and pain. Dr. Lazar shares that these benefits go beyond the individual by helping to cultivate greater compassion for others as well. Listen to this episode if you want to learn how mindfulness, meditation, and yoga impact your emotional well-being!

Key Takeaways

A little bit about Sara and her work
The important structures of the brain that she found through her neuro-imaging research
Some brain areas that follow the default mode network as explained by Sara
Her view on what brain area is affected by stress and how
What she found out in her research
What types of meditation correlates with better outcomes
Her research findings on reducing symptoms
Her research on pain and how people experience it
How she thinks mindfulness affects pain and its applicability to chronic pain
She talks about mindfulness in labor
Her study on fear conditioning concerning the pain that people experience
The effects of doing meditation frequently for her
Her view on practicing mindfulness with movement
Her explanation on how yoga affects the structures of the brain
Her study on Taichi
How yoga helps in developing self-compassion and other resources for her
How she thinks yoga can lead to developing compassion for others
Her opinion on how meditation and other practices build better resilience
How body awareness ties with yoga and other practices and its importance for her
Her recommendations on how people can begin their yoga journey
Her piece of mind on incorporating sensory deprivation in mindfulness
Her tips on doing self-compassion and equanimity

Link

Lazar Lab - https://scholar.harvard.edu/sara_lazar/home
Green Circle Initiatives - https://www.greencircleinitiatives.com/but-really-how-are-you

App

As Well - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.greencircleinitiatives.aswell&hl=en&gl=US

Bio:

Sara W. Lazar, PhD is an Associate Researcher in the Psychiatry Department at Massachusetts General Hospital and an Assistant Professor in Psychology at Harvard Medical School. The focus of her research is to elucidate the neural mechanisms underlying the beneficial effects of yoga and meditation, both in clinical settings and in healthy individuals. She is a contributing author to Meditation and Psychotherapy (Guilford Press). She has been practicing yoga and mindfulness meditation since 1994. Her research has been covered by numerous news outlets including The New York Times, USA Today, CNN, and WebMD, and her work has been featured in a display at the Boston Museum of Science.