What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

This month, we're doing a deep dive series into the division of household labor—why it's often unbalanced, and what we can do about it. You can find the playlist with all of the episodes in the series here.

Want to see a mother get mad? Tell her she's "nagging" you after she's been obligated to repeat an entirely reasonable request several times over. And just why is "nagging" a word that's almost exclusively applied to women?

We need the other members of our households to show up and do their share. As the default parents, we own the lists. So do we stop caring whether others like how we ask and remind? Do we enforce a back-to-one where we're not forced to ask repeatedly in the first place?

In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss:

• The sexism and etymology of the word "nag"
• What Amy says are the three types of "nagging," and why we should separate them out
• What to say when our repeated asking is framed as annoying to other people (guess to whom it's also annoying, too?)

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

• Jessica Zhang on LinkedIn: "What's In a Nag?"
• Episode from If Books Could Kill podcast: "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
• McClelland, T., & Sliwa, P: "Gendered affordance perception and unequal domestic labour."
• Our episode with Lynyetta Willis on "Stable Misery"
• Our episode with Eve Rodsky on "Changing the Invisible Workload"
• Anne Helen Petersen's newsletter Culture Study

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent,

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Vaccines. Mandate-liftings. Scaled reopenings. All of these things are great and long wished for.

But we were kind of thinking there'd be a bell, or something. A hard deadline. A day when we'd all dance out into the ticker-taped streets and make out with strangers in Times Square.

Without a "you are now free to move about the cabin" announcement, how will we know when it's okay for grandparents to visit? To fly to that wedding? To toss our masks once and for all?

When is it okay to start saying yes?

Our listener Heather put it this way:

I think seeing a light at the end of the tunnel can be unsettling. We've been living in this weird way for a year now. And as much as it seems crazy, we've gotten used to it.

Psychologists call the stress this is making us feel the “third-quarter phenomenon.” For people forced to endure long stretches of isolation– astronauts, Arctic explorers, submarine sailors– the most difficult part, regardless of the length of the assignment, has been proven to be about 75% of the way through, precisely when the end of the assignment first comes into distant focus.

As things start to open up and some of us don't feel ready, or wonder if the world is ready, it's a new source of stress that we were saved from when we were all apart.

Past scientists and astronauts who suffered from the “third-quarter phenomenon" were advised to refocus on their mission- why they were doing what they were doing, and the great worth of seeing it through. Seems like great advice for the rest of us. Focusing on the mission might be what will get us through this last part of the tunnel.

Here are links to writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:

Tara Law for Time: We're in the Third Quarter of the Pandemic. Antarctic Researchers, Mars Simulation Scientists and Navy Submarine Officers Have Advice For How to Get Through It

Robert Bechtel and Amy Berning: The Third-Quarter Phenomenon: Do People Experience Discomfort After Stress Has Passed?

Nathan Smith: The third-quarter phenomenon: the psychology of time in space

"Beautiful City" from Godspell (1973)

"Brand New Day" from The Wiz (1978)

@neilochka on Instagram

Leave us a rating or review in your favorite podcast app!

Join us on Facebook: https://facebook.com/whatfreshhellcast

Instagram: https://instagram.com/whatfreshhellcast

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/WhatFreshHellPodcast

Pinterest: https://pinterest.com/whatfreshhellcast

Twitter: https://twitter.com/WFHpodcast

questions and feedback: [email protected]

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do we think the way we think? How susceptible are we to influences we don't perceive? In the case of psychological effects, there are proven changes in thinking that occur in individuals or groups that can be attributed to particular causes. In this episode, hosts Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables get into some of their favorites, including:

• placebo (and "nocebo" effect
• near-miss effect
• Martha Mitchell effect
• observer expectancy effect
• name-letter effect
• online disinhibition effect
• Eaton-Rosen effect (Amy always knew this one deep in her bones)
• Dunning-Kruger effect
• Zeigarnik effect

Get monthly bonus episodes PLUS our entire catalog ad-free! Visit whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. (You can keep listening in the same app you already use.)

(and if you choose to support our show by listening to the ads, we are really grateful for that also!)

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, psychological phenomena

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This month's Deep Dive series is all about family dynamics. Listen to the whole playlist on Spotify.

What are the consistent and ongoing family debates in your household? Our Facebook group came through with their most heated family debate topics, and this week we give the ultimate answer for questions like:

• Should dishes be rinsed clean before they go in the dishwasher?
• Is it acceptable to call someone after 8 pm?
• Is a garage for storing stuff, or for storing cars?
• When you're making a bed, which side is up for the flat sheet?
• What is the correct pronunciation of "Reese's Pieces"?

Here are links to two things we discuss in this episode:

Reese's Pieces ad, 1984 (note the repeated and correct pronunciation)

"Doorbell" by Sebastian Maniscalco

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, family, family dynamics, family debate

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re rerunning some of our favorite holiday episodes to keep you company while you do all the things this season. Listen to all of our holiday episodes in this Spotify playlist.

Are you juggling “dress as your favorite reindeer” day at preschool with frantic texts from your sister-in-law asking what your spouse wants for Christmas? Are you feeling like hiding under the covers instead of hitting the office holiday party?

It’s the most everything time of the year, and women report the holidays as being far more stressful than men do.

In this episode we discuss how to manage the holiday stress, how to accept the non-cozy feelings that may arise, and why it’s okay to dial back if you’re really not feeling the holiday spirit.

Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:

• Pooja Lakshmin on Instagram @womensmentalhealthdoc
• Greenberg Quinlan Rosner Research: Holiday Stress
• Harvard Medical School: A holiday advisory for your emotions
• Cedars-Sinai Hospital: Depression and Anxiety Around the Holidays

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Future Fans: helping little kids become BIG fans - https://www.futurefans.com

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.

Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Santa, Elf on the Shelf, gift exchange, holiday, holiday shopping, holiday gifts, mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler,

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices