When Can We Start Saying Yes?
03/24/21 • 48 min
2 Listeners
Vaccines. Mandate-liftings. Scaled reopenings. All of these things are great and long wished for.
But we were kind of thinking there'd be a bell, or something. A hard deadline. A day when we'd all dance out into the ticker-taped streets and make out with strangers in Times Square.
Without a "you are now free to move about the cabin" announcement, how will we know when it's okay for grandparents to visit? To fly to that wedding? To toss our masks once and for all?
When is it okay to start saying yes?
Our listener Heather put it this way:
I think seeing a light at the end of the tunnel can be unsettling. We've been living in this weird way for a year now. And as much as it seems crazy, we've gotten used to it.
Psychologists call the stress this is making us feel the “third-quarter phenomenon.” For people forced to endure long stretches of isolation– astronauts, Arctic explorers, submarine sailors– the most difficult part, regardless of the length of the assignment, has been proven to be about 75% of the way through, precisely when the end of the assignment first comes into distant focus.
As things start to open up and some of us don't feel ready, or wonder if the world is ready, it's a new source of stress that we were saved from when we were all apart.
Past scientists and astronauts who suffered from the “third-quarter phenomenon" were advised to refocus on their mission- why they were doing what they were doing, and the great worth of seeing it through. Seems like great advice for the rest of us. Focusing on the mission might be what will get us through this last part of the tunnel.
Here are links to writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:
Tara Law for Time: We're in the Third Quarter of the Pandemic. Antarctic Researchers, Mars Simulation Scientists and Navy Submarine Officers Have Advice For How to Get Through It
Robert Bechtel and Amy Berning: The Third-Quarter Phenomenon: Do People Experience Discomfort After Stress Has Passed?
Nathan Smith: The third-quarter phenomenon: the psychology of time in space
"Beautiful City" from Godspell (1973)
"Brand New Day" from The Wiz (1978)
@neilochka on Instagram
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questions and feedback: [email protected]
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Vaccines. Mandate-liftings. Scaled reopenings. All of these things are great and long wished for.
But we were kind of thinking there'd be a bell, or something. A hard deadline. A day when we'd all dance out into the ticker-taped streets and make out with strangers in Times Square.
Without a "you are now free to move about the cabin" announcement, how will we know when it's okay for grandparents to visit? To fly to that wedding? To toss our masks once and for all?
When is it okay to start saying yes?
Our listener Heather put it this way:
I think seeing a light at the end of the tunnel can be unsettling. We've been living in this weird way for a year now. And as much as it seems crazy, we've gotten used to it.
Psychologists call the stress this is making us feel the “third-quarter phenomenon.” For people forced to endure long stretches of isolation– astronauts, Arctic explorers, submarine sailors– the most difficult part, regardless of the length of the assignment, has been proven to be about 75% of the way through, precisely when the end of the assignment first comes into distant focus.
As things start to open up and some of us don't feel ready, or wonder if the world is ready, it's a new source of stress that we were saved from when we were all apart.
Past scientists and astronauts who suffered from the “third-quarter phenomenon" were advised to refocus on their mission- why they were doing what they were doing, and the great worth of seeing it through. Seems like great advice for the rest of us. Focusing on the mission might be what will get us through this last part of the tunnel.
Here are links to writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:
Tara Law for Time: We're in the Third Quarter of the Pandemic. Antarctic Researchers, Mars Simulation Scientists and Navy Submarine Officers Have Advice For How to Get Through It
Robert Bechtel and Amy Berning: The Third-Quarter Phenomenon: Do People Experience Discomfort After Stress Has Passed?
Nathan Smith: The third-quarter phenomenon: the psychology of time in space
"Beautiful City" from Godspell (1973)
"Brand New Day" from The Wiz (1978)
@neilochka on Instagram
Leave us a rating or review in your favorite podcast app!
Join us on Facebook: https://facebook.com/whatfreshhellcast
Instagram: https://instagram.com/whatfreshhellcast
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/WhatFreshHellPodcast
Pinterest: https://pinterest.com/whatfreshhellcast
Twitter: https://twitter.com/WFHpodcast
questions and feedback: [email protected]
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Previous Episode
Ask Amy - The Return to In-Person School Isn't Going Great
What should parents do when the return to in-person school, after a year of being home with Mommy, is sort of a disaster?
This week's question comes from Carrie on Facebook:
My 3-year-old just started in-person preschool after being home with us during the pandemic. I figured it would be an adjustment, but it's been brutal. As soon as you so much as mention "school," she starts crying - actual, big tears. She’s been waking up too early and hardly eating. She's never been good with change, and thanks to Covid, she's lived in this tiny bubble up until now. (Her teacher is lovely, by the way.)
Will this pass? PS: I'm 31 weeks pregnant with baby number two, so there's also that.
This is a lot of change for a little one all at once. Amy offers several different approaches for making this better, including
- books like SORRY, GROWN-UPS, YOU CAN’T GO TO SCHOOL! by Christina Geist
- using a three-year-old's love of defying expectations and of knowing more than grownups to your advantage
- working with the teacher
- scaffolding the transition
By leading with compassion for your daughter's struggle, you'll both make it through. This is a season, and it’s definitely made more complicated by the last year. Have patience with her and with yourself. The dress-up corner is kind of a wonderful place, and we hope that pretty soon your daughter will be pulling on your hand to get inside the classroom faster.
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Next Episode
Fresh Take: Michele Borba on Kids Who Thrive
Dr. Michele Borba is a renowned educational psychologist and an expert in parenting, bullying, and character development. Her latest book is THRIVERS: The Surprising Reason Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine. This book offers practical, actionable ways to help kids develop the traits they need to thrive from preschool through high school, teaching them how to cope today so they can thrive tomorrow.
In this interview, Michele explains the "seven teachable traits" that allow kids to roll with the punches and succeed in life. Michele says the best parenting starts by meeting any kid exactly where they are, then giving them these tools to struggle less and shine more.
Leave us a rating or review in your favorite podcast app!
Join us on Facebook: https://facebook.com/whatfreshhellcast
Instagram: https://instagram.com/whatfreshhellcast
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/WhatFreshHellPodcast
Pinterest: https://pinterest.com/whatfreshhellcast
Twitter: https://twitter.com/WFHpodcast
questions and feedback: [email protected]
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