Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques

We’re often advised not to use “um” or “uh”, or “so” and “you know” in our communication. But linguist Valerie Fridland might argue otherwise. “Language is about how we encode both the linguistic message and a social message,” she says. “Crutch words ... are really valuable and they have arisen to serve a need.”

In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Fridland sits down with host and strategic communications lecturer Matt Abrahams to discuss how and when we use "you know","so", and other filler words. For example, Fridland says, the way we use “um” varies greatly from how and we might use “uh.” And the use of “like,” while deplored by many, actually serves a linguistic function and can provide context and background for a listener.

She and Matt also discuss the social linguistic function of vocal fry and whether emojis have a place in business communication.

Fridland is a professor of sociolinguistics at the University of Nevada. She's an expert on the relationship between language and society and recently released a new book, Like Literally Dude: Arguing for the Good in Bad English.

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When it comes to negotiating and managing conflict, Professor Michele Gelfand says it’s time to get creative.

Everybody has wants and needs. So what do we do when our priorities compete with those of other people? According to Gelfand, a professor of organizational behavior, negotiations and conflict management are exercises in creative problem-solving, ones where we look for ways to not only get what we want, but for those on the other side of the table to get what they want too. “The best negotiators tend to be the most creative,” says Gelfand.

In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Gelfand joins Matt Abrahams to discuss how creative communication can help us find solutions where everybody wins.

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We have to be vulnerable in order to build trust in our relationships. But as Jacob Morgan says, “Vulnerability for leaders is not the same as it is for everybody else.”

In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Morgan shares with host Matt Abrahams his “vulnerable leadership equation” and how leaders can use it to transform the way they interact with others — creating more trust, unlocking people’s potential, and building successful teams and organizations.

As Morgan explains, owning up to your mistakes and struggles might make you vulnerable, but it doesn’t necessarily make you a leader. In his latest book, Leading with Vulnerability: Unlock Your Greatest Superpower to Transform Yourself, Your Team, and Your Organization, Morgan lays out why leading with vulnerability goes a step further, saying, “Here's what I learned from the mistake that I made [and] steps that I'm going to put into place to make sure this doesn't happen again.”

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“Acts of trust are the bedrock on which relationships are formed.”

There’s a lot in the world to make us cynical about other people and their motives and intentions. But by “trusting loudly,” Professor Jamil Zaki believes we can renew our faith in one another.
Zaki is a professor of psychology at Stanford, director of the Stanford Social Neuroscience lab, and author of several books, including his most recent, Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness. While many people feel suspicious of others and are reluctant to trust them, Zaki finds that relying on other people is a necessary part of forming relationships.

“Acts of trust are the bedrock on which relationships are formed,” Zaki says. “The only way that strangers become friends and friends become best friends, the only way that we can build partnerships is through a willingness to count on one another.”

In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Zaki joins host Matt Abrahams to discuss practical strategies for fostering trust and challenging our cynical assumptions, offering a hopeful perspective on human nature, backed by surprising scientific insights.

Episode Reference Links:

• Jamil Zaki
• Jamil’s Lab: Stanford Social Neuroscience Lab
• Jamil’s Book: Hope for Cynics
• Ep.84 Quick Thinks: How Others Define Us
• Ep. 129 Connect Deeply: How to Communicate So People Feel Seen and Heard

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• Newsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.io
• Think Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTube
• Matt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn

Chapters:

• (00:00) - Introduction
• (01:33) - Defining Trust and Its Importance
• (02:24) - Building Better Trust
• (03:54) - Understanding Cynicism
• (06:17) - The Cynicism Spectrum
• (08:37) - Fostering Hopeful Skepticism
• (10:50) - Challenges of Overcoming Cynicism
• (15:40) - Self-Fulfilling Prophecies
• (18:01) - The Final Three Questions
• (25:06) - Conclusion

As Professor Jesper Sørensen sees it, a winning strategy is the result of conversations, not commands.

Sørensen says strategy can be directed from the C-suite, but it doesn’t have to be. “Lots of great strategies are discovered,” he says, “they're discovered because the leaders were able to listen to their frontline workers or their frontline managers.” A more iterative approach, says Sørensen, helps companies adapt their strategy to an ever-changing landscape.

In the latest episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Sørensen joins host and lecturer Matt Abrahams to discuss how organizations can use better communication to craft better strategies.

Connect:

• Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart Premium
• Email Questions & Feedback >>> [email protected]
• Episode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart Website
• Newsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.io
• Think Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTube
• Matt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn

Episode Reference Links:

• Making Great Strategy: Arguing for Organizational Advantage, by Jesper B. Sørensen Glenn R. Carroll
• Class Takeaways: Crafting and Leading Strategy: Five lessons in five minutes — Professor Jesper Sørenson teaches how to create and implement a successful business strategy.