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The Positive Pants Podcast

The Positive Pants Podcast

Fran Excell: Success Mindset Mentor For Business Owners.

Fran Excell is a success mindset mentor who helps business owners overcome stress and self sabotage, so they can get off the emotional rollercoaster, get back their time & feel more in control! Fran draws on her training in Applied Neuroscience Coaching, NLP, EFT, Positive Psychology, Emotional Intelligence and other trauma informed mind body modalities, along with her own research and life experience to give you the tools to break through what’s holding you back and get out your own way by showing you how to let go of negative thinking, unconscious habits and limiting beliefs so you finally have the confidence and tools to fulfil your full potential and achieve anything YOU want to. If you struggle with negativity, self-doubt, procrastination, lack of organisation, confidence or need some help just getting yourself to do those things you reeeeeally want to but just can’t seem to then this is the place for you! "I’ve been where you are and through YEARS of tried and tested methods, years of studying and thousands of hours reading and working with clients I know how to turn things around and I know what works! I'm going to help you find your positive pants so you can achieve anything you want! ;-) I’ll come to you with a new episode every Monday and give you practical tips to improve your mindset for the positive and give you a deep understanding of why you do the things that you do. I’ll keep it short enough to be snackable so you can implement into your life and business straight away...hey I get it you’re busy, I've got you covered!" Head over to , https://www.franexcell.com/ follow @imfranexcell on Instagram or email [email protected] for more information. MEDICAL DISCLAIMER Any information or guidance we provide is not a substitute for the consultation, diagnosis, and/or medical treatment of your doctor or healthcare provider. You must not rely on any information or guidance we provide you with as an alternative to medical advice from your doctor or healthcare provide and we expressly disclaim all responsibility, and shall have no liability, for any damages, loss, injury, or liability whatsoever suffered by you or any third party as a result of your reliance on any information or guidance we provide you with. If you have any specific questions or concerns about any medical matter, you should consult your doctor or healthcare provider as soon as possible. If you think you may be suffering from any medical condition, you should seek immediate medical attention from your healthcare provider. Do not delay seeking medical advice, disregard medical advice or discontinue medical treatment because of information or guidance we provide you with. Nothing in this disclaimer will limit or exclude any liability that may not be limited or excluded by applicable law. Content Disclaimer The information contained above is provided for information purposes only. The contents of this podcast/audio are not intended to amount to advice and you should not rely on any of the contents of this podcast/audio. Professional advice should be obtained before taking or refraining from taking any action as a result of the contents of this podcast/audio Fran Excell disclaims all liability and responsibility arising from any reliance placed on any of the contents of this podcast/audio.
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Goodpods has curated a list of the 10 best The Positive Pants Podcast episodes, ranked by the number of listens and likes each episode have garnered from our listeners. If you are listening to The Positive Pants Podcast for the first time, there's no better place to start than with one of these standout episodes. If you are a fan of the show, vote for your favorite The Positive Pants Podcast episode by adding your comments to the episode page.

The Positive Pants Podcast - Do You Actually Know How Well You're Doing?

Do You Actually Know How Well You're Doing?

The Positive Pants Podcast

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12/06/21 • 12 min

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Do you actually know how well you’re doing?

Do you actually know how wwii you’re doing?

It’s a big question and sooooooo important to look at!

In The Mentorship last week we had an AMAZING session all about tracking certain things and looking at the things that we avoid as business owners so I wanted to hop in with a little food for thought for you.

Be honest with yourself, do you track any of your metrics?

Or are you winging it completely?

Do you track your audience growth, your financials, your potential leads list, anything?

This isn’t just important from the ‘businessy’ side of things. Starting to do this can be a HUGE mindset shift.

It can also start to heal old patterns of avoidance too!

So have a think about what you avoid?

Do you avoid looking at how much you’re spending?

Do you avoid looking at how much you’re bringing in?

Do you avoid looking at how you’re investing?

To be clear I am absolutely in no way any kind of financial advisor. So please don’t take anything I'm talking about as any kind of financial advice because it’s not.

But although I may not be any kind of financial expert, I have always tracked everything. I love a spreadsheet and I believe that knowledge equals choice.

I worked in Media for 15 years in advertising and I brought multi millions of pounds and negotiated multi million pound deals...you can’t do that if you’re not tracking!

So to some extent it was trained into me, but I am pretty meticulous because I don’t like to miss anything.

So at any one point if my boss came over i’d be able to tell him how much each one of my agencies was bringing in, per quarter, in comparison to last year (year on year) and I could forecast what was going to come in based on what was known as your ‘pipeline’ which essentially is a list of what was being talked about and negotiated at that time.

I also learned how to analyse data efficiently. While one number might not look great, there’s often another that does, and they will always make sense. As an example during the recession looking at year on year revenue wasn’t a pretty picture. BUT I could look at market share across our competitors and usually see that I was bringing in the lion's share across the market.

Meaning, while yes, money in the bank year on year wasn’t good. The fact that I'm bringing most of it into our title...meant I was doing a good job and I could sleep easy!

Hopefully that made some sort of sense ha! You don’t need to understand the finer details of that, it’s purely for illustration purposes ha!

If I wasn’t tracking all that and able to analyse my own data it’s really easy to see how you could start to believe you weren’t doing a good job because the money coming in wasn’t looking great!

So that’s where tracking comes in.

Tracking gives you knowledge. It gives you control. It gives you peace of mind. It allows you to make better decisions in your business, based on data, not emotions!

As an example, one month might be your worst in terms of money going into your bank account. But it co...

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The Positive Pants Podcast - How To Keep Your Conscious Wits About You!

How To Keep Your Conscious Wits About You!

The Positive Pants Podcast

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01/10/22 • 13 min

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How To Keep Your Conscious Wits About You!

You have to keep your conscious wits about you right now at this time of year.

Let me explain why it’s particularly important right now. It’s a funny one, there are a few things usually going on.

You’ve (hopefully) taken some decent time off. Eaten all the food, drank all the wine or mocktails. Or just had a week or two outside of your usual routine so it just feels super difficult to get back into. Particularly if you also stopped doing the things that you know usually make you feel good.

You might be taking an extended break and you’re seeing people all over socials talking about goals and resolutions and going what appears to be ‘all in’, but you’re struggling to get your bottom off the sofa and allowing the guilt to take over.

Or maybe you’re TRYING to go ‘all in’ but you’re just not feeling it!

So what the fudge to do?!

Firstly, GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK!

I don’t necessarily mean literally, you’ve probably just had one or still having one...I mean mentally!

Stop beating yourself up for doing/not doing what you’ve decided you ‘should’.

I’m technically still off right now, until the middle of January. I had a rule that I started back when I was working in Corporate that I'd always take the first week of January off without fail.

I’m doing a couple of little bits and bobs here and there as necessary but I'm off for calls or anything like that and my schedule is MY schedule and it feels GLORIOUS and I don’t feel the slightest bit ‘behind’.

Because really, what meaning does that even have except the one you’re giving it yourself?

So I'm getting the most of my membership at the spa gym right now. Doing classes, hopping into the pool or the hot tub, then up to the manor house for a cuppa, do a little work if I need or want to, then home. Glorious.

Then my first official week back of work is The Mentorship retreat. Pretty nice start to the year in my eyes!

Now, here’s the thing. While I'm swanning about, the world and his wife seems to have woken up on social media and it’s LOUD.

Not only are we seeing business owners getting back to it with a little fire in their bellies after a break.

We’re also seeing the new year new you shame based marketing eeeeeeeverywhere.

Hence the title of this episode.

If you don’t have your conscious wits about you right now some of that pesky online programming might very easily come and bite you in the bum.

What do I mean by this?

You might be scrolling, scrolling, scrolling....all good when you’re doing it with the intention and consciousness of curiosity, staying in your own lane and doing your thing.

But if that slides...oh helloooooo my old friend comparison, how NOT delightful to see you here!

Then come the ‘shoulds’. Urgh, I'd planned to take this time off but this person’s doing this and that person’s doing that...OMG i’m already behind!

You might allow some of that shame based messaging to wangle it’s way in too which is neve...

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The Positive Pants Podcast - What To Do When You Don't Know What To Say

What To Do When You Don't Know What To Say

The Positive Pants Podcast

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10/16/23 • 10 min

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What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Say

What do you do when you just don’t know what to say?

Let’s be honest, there’s a huge amount going on in the world that is beyond hideous and a lot of people have no idea what to say.

The fear around getting it wrong and upsetting someone, or being called out, can be incredibly strong and uncomfortable.

This can happen in all areas of life, when something big happens, when someone gives you bad news, when someone tells you about a big health issue, a breakup, when someone is navigating any kind of loss, so many situations that can leave you speechless or on wobbly footing in terms of how to handle it or what to say.

So I thought it would be helpful to do a little dive into how to handle it.

First things first, and something that should be obvious but often isn’t.

It’s totally ok for you to literally say ‘I don’t know what to say, I'm lost for words.’

You don’t have to, and aren’t supposed to have the answers all the time.

You’re allowed to not!

So give yourself a break and allow yourself a little space to be vulnerable and honest. Most people appreciate and respect that.

Pay attention to what’s going on in your body.

It’s really common for people to feel anxiety in moments where they don’t know what to say.

If you notice that coming up for you this is a great moment for you to do a quick breathing exercise before you choose to respond if you have the option to do so, so if you’re replying over text for example.

You can use the 4-7-8-3 technique, in through the nose for 4, hold for 7, out through the mouth for 8 and repeat 3 times.

You can use heart math, around 5 seconds in, 5 seconds out, slower and deeper than you normally would.

If you don’t have a minute or two to do this there are plenty of techniques you can use in the moment. Simply take a deep breath and exhale slowly.

Then respond.

Deep belly breaths through your conversation will also be incredibly helpful.

This will help you be in the right part of your brain to be able to provide the best response.

The stress response will put you into a state of fight or flight and take away your rational thinking processes, which is not what you need.

Using your breath to get you back into a parasympathetic state will allow you to access your prefrontal cortex, which you need for rational, conscious thinking. It will also allow you to be more present.

It’s important to remember, sometimes no words are actually needed. You can simply give someone a hug!

You can even ask someone what they need or how they would like to be supported.

Sometimes peop...

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The Positive Pants Podcast - 042 - Let Go Of Perfectionism

042 - Let Go Of Perfectionism

The Positive Pants Podcast

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10/29/18 • 10 min

Let go of perfectionism

Show note links:

For more on this head to: https://www.franexcell.com/perfectionism/

For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants/

Book in a discovery call:

https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min

To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/

Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/

Check out my printable journal store here: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables

Let go of perfectionism

Perfectionism is a BIG mindset gremlin when it comes to getting yourself and your business out there into the big wide world.

It’s a HUGE thing that I see holding people back in their businesses all the time.

I can tell you now it’s a sure fire way to never get started. Or to just carry on making yourself ‘busy being busy’ and not actually getting anywhere.

Let’s call it out for what it is...a big fat way to procrastinate!

It’s sneaky because it LOOKS like you’re being productive and ‘doing all the things’...but you’re not.

Let’s be honest

You know as well as I do if you’re waiting for something to be perfect it’s never going to get out into the world.

But what is perfect really?

How can something be perfect when perfection is completely relative to the person looking at it? It just doesn’t exist!

You couldn’t achieve something that every single person that laid eyes on it would love in equal measure, it just doesn’t happen. Everybody has an opinion...and they are all different.

Take marmite, to some people it is perfection in a jar...to me it’s the devils food and I can’t be far enough away from it!

If they had waited for everyone to think it’s perfection in a jar before they actually put it out into the world it would not be the multi billion pound product that it is today!

So why do we chase perfection?

Despite all of this we strive and strive and strive for it but all it really is is one big delay tactic for whatever is lying underneath.

Perhaps it’s a fear of rejection, a fear of failure, a fear of success, judgement.

Whatever it may be it’s stopping you in your tracks, keeping you stuck and not letting you move forward.

So how do we tackle Perfectionism?

Well, I’ve told you the first part already! ;-) Realise and remind yourself that perfection doesn’t exist.

What’s the real reason?

Next is identify what your fear or belief is about you putting yourself or your product out there now? Awareness is half the battle! It’s the first point. It’s where change comes from. So get curious and keep asking yourself until you find it.

Where would you be?

Ask yourself where you’d be if you just put the thing out there now and then just tweaked it over time? BUT it’s OUT there!

What could it bring into your life? Clients? Sales? Would it build authority or your audience?

Will it ever be ‘done’?

Next question, do you genuinely ever believe you’ll be ‘done’? It will be perfect? Can you see yourself after ‘just one more tweak’ actually pressing go?

So here’s the thing. The best way to stop perfectionism is to...stop being a perfectionist, just stop doing it!! Catch yourself when you know you’re not putting something out there because it’s not quite PERFECT yet and push the button, get it live.

Train your brain that it’s all good

It feels uncomfortable but when you do this you train your brain to know it’s ok for things to be done, not perfect and you’ll find new levels of productivity when you can let go of that belief.

It will get easier and easier and you’ll break the habit of perfectionism and form a new one of taking action and tweaking over time. Which sounds more fun Hmmm?

Waste not want not!

Next, just realise how much time you’re wasting. If you added together all the time you’re tweaking, changing, doubting. What else could you have done in that time? What else could already be in your life if you’d pressed go earlier?

Remember why!

You always need to have WHY you’re doing something in mind to get it done. Connect back to WHY you’re creating what you’re creating, what’s the end goal? What will it bring into your life? What difference could it make to someone else’s? Who are you delaying helping by not getting it out into the world?

Best vs Wors...

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The Positive Pants Podcast - 056 - What Stress Can Do To You

056 - What Stress Can Do To You

The Positive Pants Podcast

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02/11/19 • 12 min

What stress does to you

Show note links:

For more on this head to: https://www.franexcell.com/the-thing-about-stress

For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants

Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you:

https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min

To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/

Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/

Check out my printable journal store here: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables

What stress does to you

Stress is something that can catch us all at one point or another no matter the job/business/industry.

Having attended a huge conference for entrepreneurs in the UK back in November and through working with female business owners something has become very clear to me.

Too many people running their own businesses are STRESSED!

I mean we all know it can be stressful juggling and running a business but it almost feels like it’s just accepted as the norm, as part and parcel of chasing your dreams, or even worn as a badge of honour.

They’re MORE stressed than when they were in their jobs. It’s almost as if it’s accepted to be par for the course of owning your own business that you head towards burnout on a daily basis.

But what if we just let go. What if it didn’t HAVE to be that way...that would be nicer right? Maybe even more fun?

In previous blog posts i’ve talked about a lot of things that contribute to (Overwhelm, Procrastination, Perfectionism, Lack of certainty to name a few) and can help ease stress (Mindfulness, Visualisation, Journaling, Gratitude, Reframing, Kindness) but I want to just highlight a couple of things that I feel are really important to understand.

Stress can be literally dangerous to your health.

In certain situations stress CAN be good for you don’t get me wrong, in terms of an extra boost of motivation, or saving your life from a rogue lion but when there is no real imminent danger or threat and you’re living your life in a perpetual state of stress and anxiety it’s very much in the NOT good for you camp.

It’s a natural reaction and very normal but what we want is to be able to limit it and not let it get out of control. As I often say, you can’t control your first reaction but you CAN control your second.

Unfortunately your body doesn’t really tell the difference very well between emotional ‘threats’ and actual real life danger physical threats so you get stress hormones, Cortisol and Adrenaline, running through your body either way. Which, over time, can have huge detrimental effects on your overall health.

Over time stress has a big effect on your body.

It can affect pretty much every area. All your energy is constantly going to the key areas to help with ‘fight or flight’ which means energy and attention is taken away from other key systems and processes you need in your body.

For example, when you’re stressed a lot you tend to get ill, have a bad stomach, headaches, sleep issues, pains in your body, extreme tiredness, you also have an increased risk of heart attack among many other things. So, many physical symptoms from quite an emotional response.

Other effects of stress on the body is heart disease, high blood pressure, physical aches and pains, loss of sex drive, stomach issues, insomnia among a tonne of other things that it can CAUSE you to do. Think overeating, not eating enough, too much alcohol, smoking, snapping at people, withdrawing from people...essentially numbing out!

The danger is also stress turning into full on burnout which can wreak havoc for entrepreneurs (and anyone really!) and can leave you floored for weeks, sometimes much longer.

It’s also not just you it affects, it ...

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The Positive Pants Podcast - It’s OK To Change Your Mind

It’s OK To Change Your Mind

The Positive Pants Podcast

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09/14/20 • 14 min

It’s OK To Change Your Mind

Show note links:

To sign up for The Positive Pants Planner Waitlist: https://www.franexcell.com/pppwaitlist/

It’s ok to change your mind in business, the world won’t stop.

If you’re just starting out and choosing your niche....it’s ok to change your mind.

If you’ve been in business a couple of years and something just isn’t sitting right anymore and feels heavy, it’s ok to change your mind.

If you’ve been in business for years but you just don’t love it anymore, it’s ok to change your mind.

I see so many people tying themselves up in knots in all of these scenarios. I get it, I really do.

But you aren’t locked in, married, signed sealed delivered, this is it forever-ed in to anything in your business.

You’re really not.

The whole point of having your own business is SO you have more control over it.

You get to make the decisions based on what’s right for you. Not someone else.

There will always be consequences to your decisions but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing.

I’ve been reassessing E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G throughout this whole pandemic and I know a huge amount of other people have to.

Sometimes you need to burn something to the ground just a little in order to build something bigger and better in its place. Sometimes that’s what it takes to scale up.

And yes, it’s scary. Yes, it’s uncomfortable. Yes, it could be a mistake...but if you only believe in lessons then you’re covered there ;-)

Let’s start with the most common place I see this, choosing an ideal client and a niche when you’re early on in your journey.

Oh goodness do people tie themselves up in knots with this one!!

Myself included at the start.

The message is that you absolutely HAVE to know your ideal client and niche down straight away. You need to know it on an intimate level.

If you don’t have a niche you don’t have a business!

Which is true to an extent.

It makes marketing easier. It makes self identifying for your client easier. If you don’t have one you do have a business but getting sales and traction will be harder unless you’re doing a personal outreach or networking strategy.

But let’s release the pressure valve a little shall we?

Firstly, in my opinion, you really don’t KNOW who your ideal client is until you’ve started working with people, this applies mainly to the coaching industry.

Start with an idea of who they are...not an attachment to who they are.

I had an idea of who my ideal client was, got one and it was a nightmare because they weren’t invested in the results.

So I tweaked it as I went along. It evolved as I went along and I allowed myself the time to get clearer and clearer and niche down further.

The thing with niching too is people seem to think it means that no one else will see or resonate with your message. It’s not true.

I think of it like a dart board. You’re aiming for the bullseye but there are lots of other ways to score high points around the board.

For example my niche is female business owners who self sabotage.

I still attract men to work with me.

I still attract a lot of people without businesses to work with me.

A lot of people come to me because they want a big life change. So even though I talk about everything in the context of business and I have a top ranked business podcast...I still get people who don’t have businesses. Because it’s relatable to both people. Same issues, different context.

So don’t worry about cutting certain people out.

You can also have different products or services for people at different stages. I work with people just starting out...and I work with 7 figure business owners!

So what i’m saying is, firstly, you aren’t married to your niche. You get to change it. Same with your ideal client. You get to change it.

Yes it may make things take a little longer than if you just cracked it first go (which let’s be honest...no one does!) but rather that than end up in a niche that it turns out you don’t...

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The Positive Pants Podcast - Proud Of You...

Proud Of You...

The Positive Pants Podcast

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09/11/23 • 11 min

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Proud Of You

In the most non patronising way possible, I want to get a message across today.

I’m proud of you.

I’m proud of me.

For so many things.

Sometimes you have to take stock of what we’re all working against to really acknowledge that we’re doing a great bloomin job...even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

There are so many phrases that teach us from little kids to be modest. To not shout about our achievements. It’s undesirable to think, let alone say, that we’re good.

Good people, good at our jobs, good looking, a catch, good at something.

We’re taught to play it down.

Don’t you dare think or believe you’re good enough for what you want. It’s unattractive.

Don’t be arrogant.

Don’t talk about the things you’re good at.

Don’t think you’re funny.

Essentially, don’t like yourself too much...or at all!

This is by proxy what we’re taught.

No wonder we have generations of people who can’t acknowledge their achievements or worth!

But this also serves to make damn sure we don’t notice the little things that we do that are amazing.

So we’re going to change that today because you deserve it.

I’m proud of you for getting up this morning.

I’m proud of you for making hard decisions.

I’m proud of you for every time you’ve pushed yourself beyond your comfort zone.

I’m proud of you for every time you’ve done something you know is good for you.

I’m proud of you for every time you haven’t but you’ve noticed you WANT to!

I’m proud of you for every hard thing you’ve done.

I’m proud of you for facing things you didn’t want to.

I’m proud of you for every time you’ve let yourself rest.

I’m proud of you for every day you’ve kept going.

I’m proud of you for trying!

Some days...that’s more than enough!

I added a little prompt into my daily journaling for the non dear diary type (as a recap, go back to episode one but every day it’s writing down 3 things you’re grateful for, 3 good things that happened that day, something you’re looking forward to tomorrow, I also added a challenge that you overcame or learned a lesson from, and nice things you did for other people - As a reminder what this is doing is training your neural pathways to see these things as a default every day. To see the positive every day. To see your progress every day. It’s magic.)

The prompt I’ve added is ‘what am I proud of today’. Hopefully you can see exactly why this would be so valuable.

When we think about increasing our self worth, which SO many of us want to, it’s actually a lot easier than you think.

It takes a little time, eff...

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The Positive Pants Podcast - How To Be Authentic, Even When You Feel You Can't Be

How To Be Authentic, Even When You Feel You Can't Be

The Positive Pants Podcast

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02/27/23 • 14 min

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How To Be Authentic, Even When You Feel You Can’t Be

Authenticity has been a core value of mine since I understood what values even were. Until it became a buzzword for people who quite often weren’t actually authentic at all and it all felt a bit cringe ha.

Authenticity will also have a different meaning to each individual person too.

It might mean trustworthiness.

It might mean honesty.

It might mean saying what you think without concern.

It might simply mean the opposite of fake to you. (I hugely struggle with fakery which is probably one of the reasons it’s so important to me.)

It might encapsulate all those things.

Often in the workplace people are told to be their authentic selves but that can get confusing if it’s delivered without clarification.

It can feel like, ‘be yourself but...on our terms.’

In online businesses people are always told ‘be authentic’ you’ll attract more people. And it’s true, but it’s also nuanced.

There will be times when you feel like you can’t give all of yourself because there are personal things going on that need to or should remain personal.

So what does authenticity look like when you can’t share everything. Maybe there’s ill health in the family, a situation that involves someone else. Legal issues. Your own health battles. There are so many reasons that you might feel like you can’t or don’t want to share what’s going on for you.

Also, should you ever feel like you have to share everything in order to be authentic?

I can’t tell you the answer to that but I encourage you to reflect on it.

For me authenticity is the ability to truly be oneself.

To be able to live authentically to me means not feeling like you have to hide anything and accepting all parts of you. Including loving the parts of yourself that are harder to love, because we all have those. And also knowing you don’t HAVE to share everything with everyone if that’s what’s authentic to you in that moment. It’s the self awareness to know where you’re at and what you need.

I spent a lot of time in my youth feeling like I couldn’t be myself. Like if I was truly myself then people wouldn’t like me.

I felt like I didn’t fit.

So I people pleased a lot, in terms of more often than not going along with what other people wanted and not speaking up for myself and what was important for me.

I let go of things I was interested in and loved doing because I thought it made me ‘different’ or ‘weird’.

I was absolutely, fully, completely uncomfortable in my own skin which made authenticity feel almost impossible because it was terrifying.

This didn’t lead to any kind of happiness. It led to feeling like I had to hide parts of myself. There were a few select people I could really be myself with and not worry they would judge me. People who were t...

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The Positive Pants Podcast - How To Handle Disappointment

How To Handle Disappointment

The Positive Pants Podcast

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07/31/23 • 11 min

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How To Handle Disappointment

Disappointment is something we have all and will all experience at various points in our lives.

Of course there’s a spectrum of disappointment that can go from not being able to find your favourite snack in the shop to hearing bad news of varying degrees, disappointment from other people, situations and even disappointment in yourself.

It can be that relationship you were hopeful about not working out.

It can be getting a no for something you really wanted.

I don’t need to explain disappointment to you at all. We’ve all been in the trenches.

But I’m still kind of going to anyway!

The dictionary defines disappointment as sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfilment of one's hopes or expectations.

I think we can all feel that one!

One of the things I have noticed throughout my years of learning about why we do the things that we do, why we react the way we react and feel the way we feel, how our brain and nervous system contributes to that and how we can learn to work WITH that information, is how much my ability to handle disappointment has changed.

I’m always talking about how feeling our feelings is so important and how what we’re aiming for when we ‘do the work’ on ourselves isn’t to ‘get rid’ of ‘negative’ emotions. Or to avoid them.

But almost learn to befriend them and see them in a different light.

To see negative emotions as part of the human existence that contributes to the sweet sweet polarity of experiencing all the positive emotions too.

To understand them more so we don’t fear them or judge ourselves for having feelings and emotions that make perfect sense!

Disappointment is one of those inevitable emotions.

Can you imagine a world when you were never disappointed...ever?

You might think it would be nice, maybe it would be, but personally it would take some magic out of life for me.

Let me explain why I think that way.

Sometimes you can think something is right for you, you want it, you don’t get it, it stings.

We’ve all been there.

However, these moments tend to be the ones that lead you to something even better. Or in a totally new direction that’s better for you. Or where you learn an incredibly valuable lesson.

It’s always been the case for me.

The last year for me has been full to the brim of disappointments for me.

AND it’s also been full of incredible experiences, deaths and rebirths of my ego aplenty, lots of twists, turns and redirects and as much as it might suck sometimes i’m totally trusting the direction and 100% know that there’s so much beauty, positivity, happiness, joy and all the oth...

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The Positive Pants Podcast - 041 - How To Set Goals That Work For You!

041 - How To Set Goals That Work For You!

The Positive Pants Podcast

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10/22/18 • 13 min

How to set goals that work for YOU

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For your list of values head over to: https://www.franexcell.com/goals/

For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants/

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How to set goals that work for YOU

Do you set goals in your business? Or your life? Or do you just wing it and hope for the best?

What is a goal even REALLY? Well, the definition is ‘the object of a person's ambition or effort; an aim or desired result.’ But I think it’s much more than that. Goals are an intention. Goals are clarity on what you want. Goals are a way to get everything you actually want. Goals are you making a commitment to yourself.

Why do we need goals?

Putting it simply, those people who set goals are almost 300% more likely to achieve them than those who don’t.

Good enough reason?

There are a million other reasons that I’ll go into more detail on below but that’s a good enough one to start off the conversation!

Goals help with the overwhelm...if you use them properly!

Often when we have a HUGE goal and we don’t go anywhere near it because it’s overwhelming. All of these ways of setting goals will help with that.

The funny thing is, we tend to overestimate what we can do in a year and massively underestimate what we can do in five years.

When we go through the process of actually setting goals it makes us get really clear on what we actually want in our lives and our businesses so we always have a focus and can always see progress.

So many of us go through life not working this out so is it any wonder that we can wind up unhappy? With no progress, no drive, no bigger picture? This can cause us to feel lost and stuck and not getting anywhere fast.

Goals give us direction and focus and help us actually take ACTION on the things we want to achieve.

Spam filter

Goals also help our brains filter out the important stuff that we need to notice. Our brains have a natural ‘spam’ filter (Reticular Activating System) that literally filters out the ‘noise’ to let us see the most relevant information.

We simply can’t take on all the sights, sounds, images, smells, senses in general that we are bombarded with daily so when we tell our brains what is important to us then it helps to filter out what we need. But you need to tell it first!

Types of goals

Here are a few of my favourite types of goals to think about and you’ll be able to see which ones can work for you and how you work.

SMART Goals

I’ll start with an oldie but a goodie and these types of goals are so well known for a reason.

SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound.

This is the part where you break it all down and make it achievable and easy to see the path.

Your goal needs to be super specific, clear and easy to explain.

How will you measure that you’re on track?

Is it achievable, can you see the steps clearly?

Is it realistic, is it all within YOUR control?

And then set a deadline! It makes the process really structured, easy to follow and easy to keep track of and can really help break down bigger goals into more manageable ones.

Stretch Goals

OK so a stretch goal is kind of exactly what it sounds like, it’s a goal that you know will ‘stretch’ you and not something that’s possible with exactly where you’re at right now.

It’s not an easy one, it will require work and growth to get there...which is the fun part!

It will push you, require you to learn new skills or gain new knowledge in order to achieve it.

Often when talking about stretch goals people use the quote ‘shoot for the moon, even if you miss you’ll land among the stars’.

The idea is that even if you don’t hit the end goal for whatever reason you will still end up in a significantly better place than you were before you started...and probably feeling pretty awesome!

Small Goals/Short term goals

These are super important to get rid of the overwhelm gremlin when you’re focusing too heavily on the...

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FAQ

How many episodes does The Positive Pants Podcast have?

The Positive Pants Podcast currently has 309 episodes available.

What topics does The Positive Pants Podcast cover?

The podcast is about Stress, Entrepreneurship, Podcasts, Self-Improvement, Education, Business and Positivity.

What is the most popular episode on The Positive Pants Podcast?

The episode title 'Do You Actually Know How Well You're Doing?' is the most popular.

What is the average episode length on The Positive Pants Podcast?

The average episode length on The Positive Pants Podcast is 15 minutes.

How often are episodes of The Positive Pants Podcast released?

Episodes of The Positive Pants Podcast are typically released every 7 days.

When was the first episode of The Positive Pants Podcast?

The first episode of The Positive Pants Podcast was released on Jan 3, 2018.

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