Life After Suicide Loss; Will Our 'Old Self" Ever Be Relevant Again?

Explicit content warning

09/10/23 • 24 min

The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations

Today I go "down the rabbit hole" to discuss a touchy subject ... or at least a difficult and complicated one. But this is a difficult and complicated journey, isn't it? Today I discuss my thoughts on if our "before" - our old life and self - will ever be relevant again.
You will hear me discuss:

The first three years - survival, hope and healing.
Grief Vs Complicated (or Unresolved) Grief
Grieving Vs Trauma - yes, they are different.
and more ...

And speaking of this loss and the trauma associated with it... do you need to start your trauma healing journey? I have created a good place to start ...FIND my "Growth in Grief; Healing our Mind, Body & Spirit" COURSE INFO HERE
and JUST for reading the show notes, I have a GIFT for you.
So.....CLICK HERE to GET $50 off now. Thank you for listening and learning and growing with me. I appreciate you. AOT :)
Also see the links below to check out all of the NEW things happening here at the Leftover Pieces. Talk soon! - Melissa PS....LAST SESSION of the Legacy Writing Project for 2023 started August 16, 2023 BUT you can get on the wait list for January 2024 or August 2024 anytime!
For a way to leave a Legacy of your child - GO HERE
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My WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" support central - MY HUB - and that means my different SUPPORT GROUP Options are available. I work to meet the needs of the three main things all moms say they need after the loss of their child by suicide - resources (at the time of loss and beyond), a community of connection that 'gets it' and a way to ensure that their child leaves an enduring legacy in this world!
For resources go to my Resource Page HERE
For Community, go t my Support Page HERE where you will find ALL of the ways to connect and find support.The latest Legacy project is NOW published as a BOOK -- GET IT HERE!!!
ALSO, my first two books (tools I have created for you!) in the "Facing Life After Suicide" series are available on AmazonIf you, or someone you know, is struggling with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out:
CALL 988 OR, you can also TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA
in Canada TEXT 686868
in the UK TEXT 85258

Support the show

The first three years - survival, hope and healing.
Grief Vs Complicated (or Unresolved) Grief
Grieving Vs Trauma - yes, they are different.
and more ...

Support the show

Previous Episode

Jill Cowan of Healing to the Max; Narrative Therapy and Healing After Suicide Loss

Today I share my conversation with the amazing Jill Cowan, Max's mom, who lives in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan Canada. Their family was devastated, and their lives shattered. "Jill is a fellow survivor parent, having lost her beloved son, Maximilian (Max) in March of 2015. Max was just 16 years old. She is also the mother of two surviving children, Zachary and Neave-Marie, a surrogate mommy to Jinx the cat, and wife to a fiery Scottish man, Brian. Jill blogs about navigating her journey of survivorship, and loves all things related to art, fashion and adventure! Jill was a preschool teacher, a daycare provider and now works at the local Ronald McDonald House, supporting sick children and their parents who have extended hospital stays. She loves to travel and someday would like to revisit her roots in the sports of karate and dance. "

Today Jill and I discussing:

Max's admission of depression, their (great) response to it and the outcome of suicide only 5 months later
Grief and love and the dualities and complications
Narrative Therapy - what it is and why it helps grievers of traumatic loss SO much.
Fighting the Stigma - Talking about Suicide is helpful, not harmful with youth!
Mental health deficiencies - in Canada and the U.S.
And So. Much. More!

What they do, who they are, is best described in her own words straight from their website:
"Healing to The Max. Inc. is a compassionate community of support for those who have suffered a traumatic loss by suicide. Our programs of hope and healing are the first of their kind, having been written by a combination of professionals and survivors of a traumatic loss by suicide. They are based on a strong foundation of Narrative Therapy, which is easily adaptable to allow for all cultural nuance's to be adapted. It moves away from the traditional belief that you must achieve closure to heal, and instead, invites to practice the art of "Saying Hello, Again". We keep the connection going far beyond the structured programmes ... while they "Learn to live with grief and joy, hand in hand."
Find Healing to the Max (.org) HEREINSTAGRAM HEREFACEBOOK HERE______________________________________________________________________
PS....LAST SESSION of the Legacy Writing Project for 2023 starting August 16 (sign ups close at week 2 Aug 23) BUT you can get on the wait list for January anytime!For a way to leave a Legacy of your child - GO HERE
______________________________________________________________________
My WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" support central.
The latest Legacy projects are NOW published BOOKS -- GET THEM HERE!!!
ALSO, my first two books (tools I have created for you!) in the "Facing Life After Suicide" series are available on AmazonIf you, or someone you know, is struggling with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out:
CALL 988 OR, you

Support the show

Next Episode

Widow Abby Dart Speaks Up; 19 Years After Husband’s Suicide

Today I have a poignant conversation with Abby Dart... a suicide widow of 19 years. Her husband Steve died by suicide in 2004 when her 5 children were only 8,10, 12, 13 & 17 (now, 26,29,31,32, & 36 to put it in perspective). Because Steve was in the public eye (in politics) and they had to figure out to grieve publicly while trying to find private time as a family. We pack a LOT into our time together and this was a very enlightening chat.
"I wonder if I'm just still trying to find myself. Because I feel I was robbed of my future, I was, with my husband... And I never really figured it out...So no, I never remarried. And I think I'm still searching." - Abby Dart"(Suicide is) it's such an abrupt and complicated way for our life to take a hard right turn." Melissa w/ The Leftover Pieces
Some of what Abby & I discuss today:

The stigma & mental health - still not where we should be
Her family with 5 kids - then and now
The importance of a community of support
Her brokenness - even today AND the duality of it all
Mental Health AS HEALTH
Did his death cause her to be "stuck" forever...?
Her "WHY" as to still talking about suicide 19 years later
AND so much more!

Abby Dart is a mother of five and Steve Dart's widow. She has her B.A. in Political Science, J.D. Law Degree, Member California Bar, Executive Director for Scenic Michigan and has had Extensive Political Campaign Experience.

Such a poignant conversation - like me, I think that you will take a lot from this!
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PS....LAST SESSION of the Legacy Writing Project for 2023 began August 16 BUT you can get on the wait list for January 2024 anytime!For a way to leave a Legacy of your child - GO HERE
______________________________________________________________________
My WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" support central.
The latest Legacy projects are NOW published BOOKS -- GET THEM HERE!!!
ALSO, my first two books (tools I have created for you!) in the "Facing Life After Suicide" series are available on AmazonIf you, or someone you know, is struggling with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out:
CALL 988 OR, you can also TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA