The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations
Melissa Bottorff-Arey
1 Creator
1 Creator
This podcast focuses on surviving life after a suicide loss, an experience that can be devastating and leave you feeling lost as you try to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart. The host, Melissa Bottorff-Arey, lost her 21-year-old son, Alex, to suicide on August 7, 2016, and brings (& often shares) her insights from her personal journey.
In each episode, Melissa engages in honest and challenging conversations with other survivors of loss, healers, and mental health experts. She also produces shorter solo episodes where she reflects on her own thoughts and experiences thus far. The podcast covers a wide range of relevant topics and addresses difficult questions. Melissa explores all aspects of grief, including trauma, hope, healing, self-care, legacy, and stigma. She believes that we learn to live alongside our grief rather than get ing over it. Actual change comes through authentic, meaningful connections and mindful choices.
For supporters or educators, these conversations provide valuable insights and shine a light on suicide and grief genuinely and unapologetically. Listeners who are grieving a suicide loss can find comfort in the community and hope for a better tomorrow. Melissa aims to help others, like herself, transition from merely surviving to discovering a life filled with meaning and, potentially, even happiness amid the leftover pieces around you.
[Please NOTE: This podcast is for only relational, informational, and entertainment purposes. It candidly and openly discusses sensitive and sometimes activating topics. There will be no in-depth or graphic descriptions of the method, but merely the possible mention of suicide, murder, rape, and the like. Be guided and care for yourself accordingly. Also, Melissa is not a doctor or licensed therapist, and nothing on this podcast should be taken in place of, or as, medical/mental health advice or recommendations.]
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Top 10 The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations Episodes
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Suicide Can Happen in Any Family; A Mother's Humble Realization
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations
03/28/22 • 72 min
Can it really happen to ANY family?? Unfortunately, many of us have discovered that answer. My guest in this episode knows this all too well herself.
Today I have a conversation with Janice "JJ" Joiner. JJ, aka "the catcher of babies" (certified nurse midwife) spent her career as a women’s healthcare provider, and is also a wife, mom, and “Honey” to her grandbabies! She says she now takes life "lone day at a time" since the loss of her beautiful son, Eric to mental illness that led to his suicide. JJ now hopes to work to help support others in this tragic space by normalizing the seeking of mental wellness just like we seek health for physical health. She shares her story openly with this goal at the forefront.
"...Born in Charleston WV, she grew up traveling throughout Europe. When JJ was only 11 she read "Cherry Ames- Student Nurse" and wanted to be a nurse from that point on! She started as a Labor & Delivery and after 14 years moved on to Nursing and Midwifery. She feels like she spent much of her career participating in and promoting the healthcare of women - her dream profession and along the way she and her (college sweetheart) husband built their own dream family - Katie, Eric, and JaneyGrace. By all accounts, her kids were easy-going and successful in everything they endeavored to do....yet, despite daily prayers for their happiness and safety in this big world, there came a day that she realized despite a life of serving people, delivering babies, volunteering and donating to charities...I was no better than anyone else in this world and my luck ran out and sadly it ran out on my boy..." - paraphrased straight from JJ
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My website "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" is LIVE and that means my different SUPPORT SPACE Options are available and much more will be coming in 2022
Go DIRECTLY to my SUPPORT page here where yo9u will find ALL of the ways to connect and find support
My first two books (tools I am creating for you!) in the "Facing Life After Suicide" series are available on Amazon
If you, or someone you know, is struggling with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out:
The National Suicide Lifeline is there for you
IN a crisis you can also TEXT--->
TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA
in Canada TEXT 686868
in the UK TEXT 85258
And Grievers, I am always here. You can find me at The Leftover Pieces
1 Listener
What If It's All in Our Minds; The Path to Less Suffering
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations
09/26/21 • 20 min
Today I dive DEEP into the rabbit hole and discuss perception vs reality and if they are one in the same. I talk about where I am in this grief journey and the evolution of my thoughts on what we have the power over with regard to grief - in my opinion. I think that the real destruction lies in allowing ourselves to go on auto-pilot - you know when we are not intentional about how we are grieving or what choices we are making.
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My brand NEW website "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" is LIVE and that means my 2 x/mo FREE SUPPORT GROUP is available (it begins Oct 2) AND my first coaching options are available. The first (3 month) group is planned to begin NOVEMBER 3 and there will be a new group begin every 10 weeks after. There will be limited spots in each group so let me know if you want on the notify list! These groups will be one part community, one part discovery/growth. I believe these two things are intertwined for us in the earlier stages of grief especially.
Interested? Please DM me on Instagram or email me at anytime [email protected]
The website will be at www.theleftoverpieces.com (naturally, right?)
Please reach out to me if you know of someone that I should talk to or if you yourself would like to have a conversation around the suicide loss and grief space. Instagram is probably still the best way to contact me or directly through email. I am already scheduling people into this FALL so it's not too soon to reach out!
If you, or someone you know, is struggling with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out:
The National Suicide Lifeline is there for you
IN a crisis you can also TEXT--->
TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA
in Canada TEXT 686868
in the UK TEXT 85258
And Grievers, I am always here. You can find me on at The Leftover Pieces
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Toward Hope After Suicide Loss; The What, Why and How
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations
11/22/21 • 21 min
Today I go "down the rabbit hole" to discuss HOPE. Suicide loss survivors struggle heavily with allowing hope back into their lives. I know that I choose to sit in hopelessness too long. So why is hope so important? Why do we need and how we get it -- and I even give you a tool to help facilitate taking the steps toward it!
I could not find a link that I loved to show you where to place your hands - it is because I didn't just take it from the internet, I learned this in my trauma-based healing training.
BUT HERE IS an ARTICLE that shows the pressure point and the second part comes really close to the technique I teach you. It also has some additional great information.
Hope to Hope Conference Day 2 - I speak at the 2:57 mark and am the final speaker of the conference BUT be sure to listen to Kim share an additional life experience that will inspire and impact! This was such great experience to be a part of this event - I am honored and humbled.
Be sure to watch Day 1 as well - it was equally amazing.
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My brand NEW website "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" is LIVE and that means my 2 x/mo FREE SUPPORT GROUP is available and much more will be coming in the months ahead leading into 2022
The website will be at www.theleftoverpieces.com (naturally, right?)
If you, or someone you know, is struggling with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out:
The National Suicide Lifeline is there for you
IN a crisis you can also TEXT--->
TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA
in Canada TEXT 686868
in the UK TEXT 85258
And Grievers, I am always here. You can find me on at The Leftover Pieces
1 Listener
Life After Suicide Loss; Will Our 'Old Self" Ever Be Relevant Again?
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations
09/10/23 • 24 min
Today I go "down the rabbit hole" to discuss a touchy subject ... or at least a difficult and complicated one. But this is a difficult and complicated journey, isn't it? Today I discuss my thoughts on if our "before" - our old life and self - will ever be relevant again.
You will hear me discuss:
- The first three years - survival, hope and healing.
- Grief Vs Complicated (or Unresolved) Grief
- Grieving Vs Trauma - yes, they are different.
- and more ...
And speaking of this loss and the trauma associated with it... do you need to start your trauma healing journey? I have created a good place to start ...FIND my "Growth in Grief; Healing our Mind, Body & Spirit" COURSE INFO HERE
and JUST for reading the show notes, I have a GIFT for you.
So.....CLICK HERE to GET $50 off now. Thank you for listening and learning and growing with me. I appreciate you. AOT :)
Also see the links below to check out all of the NEW things happening here at the Leftover Pieces. Talk soon! - Melissa PS....LAST SESSION of the Legacy Writing Project for 2023 started August 16, 2023 BUT you can get on the wait list for January 2024 or August 2024 anytime!
For a way to leave a Legacy of your child - GO HERE
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My WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" support central - MY HUB - and that means my different SUPPORT GROUP Options are available. I work to meet the needs of the three main things all moms say they need after the loss of their child by suicide - resources (at the time of loss and beyond), a community of connection that 'gets it' and a way to ensure that their child leaves an enduring legacy in this world!
For resources go to my Resource Page HERE
For Community, go t my Support Page HERE where you will find ALL of the ways to connect and find support.The latest Legacy project is NOW published as a BOOK -- GET IT HERE!!!
ALSO, my first two books (tools I have created for you!) in the "Facing Life After Suicide" series are available on AmazonIf you, or someone you know, is struggling with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out:
CALL 988 OR, you can also TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA
in Canada TEXT 686868
in the UK TEXT 85258
The New Year Griefy Blues; Is This Normal??
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations
01/09/23 • 21 min
Today I talk about how many of us grievers find ourselves feeling MORE tired, MORE emotional and yes, MORE Griefy than we were during the holidays (or at least AS griefy) and yet it seems wrong. Afterall, the freaking holidays are past. They are over for another year ad we should feel "better", RIGHT???
Well .... NOT necessarily and probably not YET. It is very normal to feel this "melty" AFTER the holidays. In this short journey down the rabbit hole today i will talk about:
- Why it's normal to be "meltier" AFTER the holidays.
- Some suggestions to slow down and take care during this time (and times like this)
- A few updates - including the NEW Down the rabbit Hole Q & A sessions that start Jan. 22
I closed the episode with this reminder. It's a poem by Donna Ashworth
(You can find Donna here HERE)
KEEP IT SIMPLE
Keep it simple,
your life,
you can only do so much,
and the simple things are there to fuel your heart.
When the waves of overwhelm start to crash against your wall.
Keep it simple,
you can only do so much.
It’s the simple, everyday, that will help you on your way.
Look around, take in the moment, be at ease.
When the winds of worry roar against the castle you have built,
Take a rest, feel your heartbeat, be at peace.
Keep it simple,
your life,
you can only do so much,
and the little things are there to bring you joy.
When the hounds of dark and dread begin to howl inside your mind.
Keep it simple,
you can only do so much.
Donna Ashworth
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If you are a mom, have you tried one of my support group options? This is not your typical 'support group'.... this is a welcoming and supportive community of friends, all walking this same path but not wanting to do it alone. Look at the options HERE
___________________________________________
My WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" support central - MY HUB - and that means my different SUPPORT GROUP Options are available. Go DIRECTLY to my SUPPORT page here where you will find ALL of the ways to connect and find support. My first two books (tools I am creating for you!) in the "Facing Life After Suicide" series are available on Amazon
If you, or someone you know, is struggling with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out:
CALL 988
OR, you can also TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA
in Canada TEXT 686868
in the UK TEXT 85258
My Best Friend died by Suicide; His Lasting Impact
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations
04/10/22 • 75 min
Today I talk to Nicolette Popa - or Nic as she is known to everyone who loves her. She is my son Alex's best friend ... so this one hits at home and is so very special for me to share. Nic shares her story and journey after suicide loss and how it has impacted her life every day since. You won't want to miss her story - she even shares her own personal story of coming out this past year as a lesbian and how that plays into her family life (as she is married with 2 sons). She recognizes how depression and suicide as ever-present in the LGBTQ+ community and feels like sharing her story can make an impact there as well. She is bold and brave and yet still soft and quishy! I love her so much and just know you will too.
You can find her dancing her way into everyone's heart at the link below on Tik Tok
Nicolette's TikTok account is amazingly real and unfiltered. I am so very proud of how she approaches her life with honesty and humor and great compassion. Alex would be so proud of her. I know he is looking in on her and her family often. AND - He would have LOVED TikTok!!
___________________________________________________________________
My website "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" is LIVE and that means my different SUPPORT SPACE Options are available and much more will be coming in 2022
Go DIRECTLY to my SUPPORT page here where yo9u will find ALL of the ways to connect and find support
My first two books (tools I am creating for you!) in the "Facing Life After Suicide" series are available on Amazon
If you, or someone you know, is struggling with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out:
The National Suicide Lifeline is there for you
IN a crisis you can also TEXT--->
TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA
in Canada TEXT 686868
in the UK TEXT 85258
And Grievers, I am always here. You can find me at The Leftover Pieces
Child Loss by Suicide; How Parents Heal (aka: it IS possible to heal)
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations
02/13/23 • 28 min
Today, I go "Down the Rabbit Hole" to discuss that illusive concept of healing after losing a child to suicide. And while today I do specifically address how a parent is affected & heals-- I strongly believe that any loss survivor will find nuggets that apply to other losses as well. (And you will want to listen ALL the way to the end)
When I lost my 21-year-old son Alex to suicide in 2016 my world was shattered. If someone had told me I would -- or even that I could -- heal, I may have not received it so positively.... UNLESS it was another parent that had been there! Other parents that were "ahead" of me in this journey were my biggest inspiration and motivation for pushing myself and choosing to chase joy after that first year (aka the Survival Year). It is my wish that this episode can offer you the hope you need right now.
Today I talk about:
- Gathering up your 'leftover pieces' to start rebuilding after child loss by suicide.
- The first year - Survival
- The second year - Hope
- The third year - Healing
- And what is beyond those first three years - I will do a deeper dive there someday.
_____________________________________________
My WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" support central - MY HUB - and that means my different SUPPORT GROUP Options are available. Go DIRECTLY to my SUPPORT page here where you will find ALL of the ways to connect and find support. My first two books (tools I am creating for you!) in the "Facing Life After Suicide" series are available on AmazonIf you, or someone you know, is struggling with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out:
CALL 988 OR, you can also TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA
in Canada TEXT 686868
in the UK TEXT 85258
Oracle Cards; My Grief inside Woo-ville
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations
02/28/21 • 17 min
Today I dive (deep) into 'the rabbit hole' ... I let you into my mind to explore why (& how) I use Oracle cards! Yep -- I said it - Oracle Cards!!! Many people refer to crystals, Reiki, tarot, oracle ... or really anything in the metaphysical, alternative based thinking or practices as "woo-woo". I personally have always been a science and fact seeking person so it may seem strange that I can reside so comfortably in what I call "Wooville", but I do. Come along and I will give you a glimpse as to (just one reason) why!
Many people perceive Oracle (& Tarot) as a fortune teller-y type of 'thing' ... I was one of those people once too. They are NOT that at all that. They ARE tools of divination used (by anyone) to help show us what we already know deep down ... they are a tool for our subconscious and help us to 'dig deeper' (you know, to get out of our logical minds way if you will!) and you know if you listen to me at all that I am big on all of these concepts that lend themselves to forward thinking and the power of the subconscious mind in our healing-and- thriving-alongside-grief journey! I am glad you joined me today!!
As with everything you hear on my podcasts, please take that which serves you & leave the rest. I hope you will find something of value & I am so sorry that you need to be here, but so honored you are here. Talk soon!
Because I said I would ...
Here is the LINK to the Alice in Wonderland Oracle that I referenced today on Amazon
PLUS .... the Sacred Rebels Deck
AND ... the Queen of the Moon Oracle
They type of decks are endless. Let me know if you have any questions ... or would like an intuitive card pull from me! :)
ALSO, please reach out to me if you know of someone that I should talk to or if you yourself would like to have a conversation around the suicide loss and grief space. Instagram is probably still the best way to contact me or directly through email. I am already scheduling people into this Spring so it's not too soon to reach out!
Let's have a conversation Let's keep talking Let's be there for each other. Let's make a change. TALK SOON!
If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out & talk to someone
The National Suicide Lifeline is there for you
IN a crisis you can also TEXT--->
TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA
in Canada TEXT 686868
in the UK TEXT 85258
And Grievers, I am always here. You can find me on Instagram at The Leftover Pieces
Imogen's Mom; A Good Mourning Legacy
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations
09/06/21 • 54 min
Today I talk to Imogen Carn who is a suicide loss survivor. "Im", as she goes by, is the co-host of the Good Mourning Podcast (with Sally "Sal" Douglas). Im & Sal believe that "together, let’s make the topic of grief more open and less awkward." They speak to grief and loss of many different kinds as they both lost their mothers (but to different manner of death)
Im's mother Vanessa died by suicide on Feb 22, 2020, just before the world locked down for the first wave of the pandemic. Her death was a complete and total shock to the family as Vanessa had no previous history of mental health conditions or suicidal ideation. She even says it would be months before she would really comprehend the lockdown because of the trauma of her grief. Im is warm and candid and funny. This conversation is important and it was my honor to have shared this time with Imogen!
Find her on INSTAGRAM at Good Mourning |Grief Podcast HERE
Find Imogen (& Sally) on their podcast Good Mourning HERE and the Facebook Group
Dr. Edith Eger's book, The Choice, as was referenced and her follow-up book, The Gift HERE is the LINK for The Alliance of Hope
HERE is the LINK to Rebecca Jax Holistic Healing ________________________________________________
IN THE COMING WEEKS - by Sept 15 - my (in progress) website "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" will be LIVE and that means my first coaching options will be available. The first (3 month) group is planned to begin SEPT 29, so stay tuned and then there will be a new group start every 3 months. There will be limited spots in each group so let me know if you want on the notify list! These groups will be one part community, one part discovery/growth. I believe these two things are intertwined for us in the earlier stages of grief especially.
Interested? Please DM me on Instagram or email me at anytime [email protected]
The website will be at www.theleftoverpieces.com (naturally, right?)
Keep an eye out - even book mark it & check back in a few weeks (there IS a holding page with "coming soon" there now) !!
Please reach out to me if you know of someone that I should talk to or if you yourself would like to have a conversation around the suicide loss and grief space. Instagram is probably still the best way to contact me or directly through email. I am already scheduling people into this FALL so it's not too soon to reach out!
If you, or someone you know, is struggling with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out:
The National Suicide Lifeline is there for you
IN a crisis you can also TEXT--->
TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA
in Canada TEXT 686868
in the UK TEXT 85258
And Grievers, I am always here. You can find me on Instagram at The Leftov
A Mother's Love is Forever; Calvin's Legacy Live On
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations
11/07/21 • 60 min
Today, I have the unique privilege of having a conversation with a podcast listener. Vickie Stam and I began messaging earlier this year after she reached out to tell me that she was enjoying the podcast. Vickie lost her 31 year old son Calvin to suicide on Dec 9, 2019. She is a bubbly, genuine and warm soul. It became obvious to us fairly soon after she reached out that our sons connected us and they continue to communicate that through music shared for us! I appreciate our connection so much and am honored to share her brave journey through grief.
If you wish to connect with Vickie, you can do so here vickie stam (@vickiestam) • Instagram photos and videos
Here are some links from items Vickie and discussed AND some that I am sharing per her requestn Thanks Vickie!!
Shaken, Not Shattered (book) by Matt Hagee
Barbara Erskine (fiction book author) - Her Author Page
Mayim Bialik’s Breakdown – Mayim Bialik
Good Mourning – Sally Douglas & Imogen Carn
Grief Seeds – Shelby Forsythia
Grief Dreams Podcast – Dr. Joshua Black
Life, Death & The Space Between – Dr. Amy Robbins
We Can Do Hard Things With Glennon Doyle
Death Is Hilarious – Tawny Platis
Where’s The Grief – Jordon Ferber
Grief Unfiltered – Jayme Aills
Portraits of Grief – Tiffany Bernal & Thera Storm
Drift With Erin Davis
Heavyweight – Gimlet
_______________________________________________
My brand NEW website "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" is LIVE and that means my 2 x/mo FREE SUPPORT GROUP is available and much more will be coming in the months ahead leading into 2022
The website will be at www.theleftoverpieces.com (naturally, right?)
If you, or someone you know, is struggling with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out:
The National Suicide Lifeline is there for you
IN a crisis you can also TEXT--->
TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA
in Canada TEXT 686868
in the UK TEXT 85258
And Grievers, I am always here. You can find me on at The Leftover Pieces
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FAQ
How many episodes does The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations have?
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations currently has 182 episodes available.
What topics does The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations cover?
The podcast is about Suicide, Health & Fitness, Grief, Alternative Health, Mental Health and Podcasts.
What is the most popular episode on The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations?
The episode title 'What If It's All in Our Minds; The Path to Less Suffering' is the most popular.
What is the average episode length on The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations?
The average episode length on The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations is 39 minutes.
How often are episodes of The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations released?
Episodes of The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations are typically released every 7 days.
When was the first episode of The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations?
The first episode of The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations was released on Nov 17, 2020.
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