Being "That' (Whispered About) Person; Discussion & Tools
Explicit content warning
08/01/21 • 21 min
Today, I go "Down the Rabbit Hole" to talk about a topic that is NOT new to me -- in some form I have been living with this since losing Alex nearly 5 years ago. Unless you have not left your house yet, I am certain that you too have experienced some form of this isolating feeling that comes when you start to interact with people and they bring up children ... or mental health ... or look at you with that look and say "how ARE you?" Or "I just don't think I could do this, you are so strong".... OR (Fill in the blank) ... you even start to anticipate it before it happens. You feel like you are the one to avoid in the room ... ETC!!! Right??? How to cope!!??
As child (suicide) loss survivors we find that going out into public, or social circles, now creates more stress, where it once relieved stress to go out, see friends, be social. Not now, right? Even in leaving said event - we now carry the fact that once we have exited the space, the people left undoubtedly often talk about us in hushed tones -- "she's the one who lost her son to suicide" or "do you think she's 'coping' or ' doing ok' or ... ???
We TRY to not let it bother us, but it DOES, It is emotionally exhausting, and very isolating. So, how do we not let it hurt our healing or set us backward. How do we cope IN THE MOMENT?
I discuss this and also offer a tool (or two) that you may want to try that I believe will help. It can (& does) get better with time, but it takes work. AND somethings will just never be the same - and accepting that is just part of it too.
THANK YOU for listening, it means more than I can say. Sending so much love & peace to you all!
HERE is a good article from a website called Complex Trauma Resources that explains top-down, bottom-up & even side-door approaches to trauma healing. I think you will see why I gravitate toward the latter two.
This journey is SO HARD my friends, but you can do it, we can do it- together!
As with everything you hear on my podcasts, please take that which serves you & leave the rest. I hope you will find something of value & I am so sorry that you need to be here, but so honored you are here. Talk soon!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT!
Please reach out to me if you know of someone that I should talk to or if you yourself would like to have a conversation around the suicide loss and grief space. Instagram is probably still the best way to contact me or directly through email. I am already scheduling people into this Spring so it's not too soon to reach out!
Let's have a conversation Let's keep talking Let's be there for each other. Let's make a change. TALK SOON!
If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out & talk to someone
The National Suicide Lifeline is there for you
IN a crisis you can also TEXT--->
TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA
in Canada TEXT 686868
in the UK TEXT 85258
And Grievers, I am always here. You can find me on Instagram at The Leftover Pieces
Today, I go "Down the Rabbit Hole" to talk about a topic that is NOT new to me -- in some form I have been living with this since losing Alex nearly 5 years ago. Unless you have not left your house yet, I am certain that you too have experienced some form of this isolating feeling that comes when you start to interact with people and they bring up children ... or mental health ... or look at you with that look and say "how ARE you?" Or "I just don't think I could do this, you are so strong".... OR (Fill in the blank) ... you even start to anticipate it before it happens. You feel like you are the one to avoid in the room ... ETC!!! Right??? How to cope!!??
As child (suicide) loss survivors we find that going out into public, or social circles, now creates more stress, where it once relieved stress to go out, see friends, be social. Not now, right? Even in leaving said event - we now carry the fact that once we have exited the space, the people left undoubtedly often talk about us in hushed tones -- "she's the one who lost her son to suicide" or "do you think she's 'coping' or ' doing ok' or ... ???
We TRY to not let it bother us, but it DOES, It is emotionally exhausting, and very isolating. So, how do we not let it hurt our healing or set us backward. How do we cope IN THE MOMENT?
I discuss this and also offer a tool (or two) that you may want to try that I believe will help. It can (& does) get better with time, but it takes work. AND somethings will just never be the same - and accepting that is just part of it too.
THANK YOU for listening, it means more than I can say. Sending so much love & peace to you all!
HERE is a good article from a website called Complex Trauma Resources that explains top-down, bottom-up & even side-door approaches to trauma healing. I think you will see why I gravitate toward the latter two.
This journey is SO HARD my friends, but you can do it, we can do it- together!
As with everything you hear on my podcasts, please take that which serves you & leave the rest. I hope you will find something of value & I am so sorry that you need to be here, but so honored you are here. Talk soon!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT!
Please reach out to me if you know of someone that I should talk to or if you yourself would like to have a conversation around the suicide loss and grief space. Instagram is probably still the best way to contact me or directly through email. I am already scheduling people into this Spring so it's not too soon to reach out!
Let's have a conversation Let's keep talking Let's be there for each other. Let's make a change. TALK SOON!
If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out & talk to someone
The National Suicide Lifeline is there for you
IN a crisis you can also TEXT--->
TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA
in Canada TEXT 686868
in the UK TEXT 85258
And Grievers, I am always here. You can find me on Instagram at The Leftover Pieces
Previous Episode
Victoria Moore; The Suicide Widow / Mom Balancing Act
Today I talk with Victoria Moore, aka Yogi Mami. Victoria lost her husband, and her children lost their father, in May of 2019 to suicide and she talks openly about his struggles with depression, and the help they were actively getting him, prior to his death. This is a poignant and honest conversation. I think that this episode will really resonate with widows of suicide who are still raising children, but there is something for all grievers of suicide loss here!
Victoria is warm, funny and (still) very full of life. I find her attitude and spirit both helpful and hopeful. After getting to know her a bit better through our conversation I can say that her Yogi Mami website subtitle of "happy, healthy living" seems so fitting for this surviving, but thriving, dynamic woman who is also a mom of two! EVERY GRIEVER WILL BENEFIT FROM HER TOOLS!!
Find her here on INSTAGRAM
And HERE is her Yogi Mami Website
You will find SO MUCH GREAT INFO on both!
______________________________________________________________________________
AND ALWAYS ... THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT! It means the WORLD to me ... we are in this together!
As with everything you hear on my podcasts, please take that which serves you & leave the rest. I hope you will find something of value & I am so sorry that you need to be here, but so honored you are here.
Please reach out to me if you know of someone that I should talk to or if you yourself would like to have a conversation around the suicide loss and grief space. Instagram is probably still the best way to contact me or directly through email. I am already scheduling people into this Spring so it's not too soon to reach out!
Let's have a conversation Let's keep talking Let's be there for each other. Let's make a change. TALK SOON!
If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out & talk to someone
The National Suicide Lifeline is there for you
IN a crisis you can also TEXT--->
TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA
in Canada TEXT 686868
in the UK TEXT 85258
And Grievers, I am always here. You can find me on Instagram at The Leftover Pieces
Next Episode
Two Inches Off the Ground; Where Metaphysical Meets Practical
Today I have a vibrant and enlightening conversation with Jennifer, aka J India. She is not a suicide loss survivor but IS an attempt survivor and a trauma survivor turned healer. This is a very relevant conversation for us as trauma survivors.
Jennifer is the producer and host of "Two Inches Off the Ground," a podcast where the metaphysical meets the practical. Her master’s degree in creative writing combined with her former 10-year-career as a book editor bring storytelling and entertainment to the forefront of her podcast content. She loves being a voice for the metaphysical world and hopes that she assists in healing the collective with her words and energy. You can follow her @twoinchesofftheground on Instagram.
LINKS as referenced by J India during the conversation:
- Ayurveda Diagnosis and Intro” episode 9 of "Two Inches Off the Ground" Podcast
- Ayurveda Experience with Saskia” episode 16 of "Two Inches Off the Ground" Podcast
- Dr. John Douillard of https://lifespa.com - one of the two best AV practitioners in the US.
- Take the dosha quiz to find your dosha (constitution)
- ChakraPro app
- Chakra Dance To Change Your Life” by Natalie Southgate
Lion’s Gate Portal (link to Sage Goddess as a trusted source for information) read about it here
Here are crystals as recommended by ME (also great for all new moon intention setting work) :
- For Energy & Follow Through : Carnelian, Amethyst & Citrine
- For Grounding to Mother Earth: Petrified Wood, Orthoceras & Moss Agate
- For Manifestation & Raising Consciousness: Lapis Lazuli, Shiva Lingam, Larvikite/Nuummite
- Bonus - For Heart/Self-Love - Rose Quartz. Pink Calcite or Strawberry Quartz for gentle love OR Malachite & Rhodochrosite for healing trauma in the heart
__________________________________________________________________________________
Please reach out to me if you know of someone that I should talk to or if you yourself would like to have a conversation around the suicide loss and grief space. Instagram is probably still the best way to contact me or directly through email. I am already scheduling people into this Spring so it's not too soon to reach out!
Let's have a conversation Let's keep talking Let's be there for each other. Let's make a change. TALK SOON!
If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out & talk to someone
The National Suicide Lifeline is there for you
IN a crisis you can also TEXT--->
TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA
in Canada TEXT 686868
in the UK TEXT 85258
And Grievers, I am always here. You can find me on Instagram at The Leftover Pieces
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