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The Imperfect Mum - When Gentle Parenting Feels Impossible: Handling Guilt & Repair

When Gentle Parenting Feels Impossible: Handling Guilt & Repair

02/14/25 • 39 min

The Imperfect Mum

When They Refuse, When They Break Things & When We Get It Wrong

Ever feel like parenting just got harder? Like the things that used to work suddenly don’t anymore? SAME. Gentle parenting felt so much easier when my kids were little, but now my 7-year-old is testing independence, and I’ve realised—I need to level up my parenting skills.

In this episode, I’m sharing: Where I’ve been getting it wrong with my 7-year-old (and what I’m doing differently) Why taking her iPad away for four days after refusing swimming was NOT the answer How control plays a huge role in kids’ behaviour —and how to work with it instead of against it Why public meltdowns feel so much harder (hello, embarrassment!) and what I wish I’d done differently The surprising ways ChatGPT has helped me reframe tricky parenting moments Why we don’t need to be perfect to be amazing mums (seriously, let’s stop putting that pressure on ourselves)

If you’ve ever found yourself in a power struggle, reacting instead of responding, or just feeling like you’re getting it all wrong—this episode is for you. Let’s talk about what’s actually working, what we can let go of, and how we can parent in a way that feels good (for them AND us).

EPISODE CHAPTERS

00:00 - When Parenting Feels Harder Than It Used To
32:09 - New Strategies for Parenting Older Kids
32:20 - How to Handle Power Struggles Without Losing Your Mind
38:19 - Why You Don’t Need to Be a Perfect Mum

TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE

Gentle parenting isn’t about letting them do whatever they want—it’s about understanding what they need. Consequences need to match the situation—not be random punishments. (Looking at you, ‘no iPad for four days’ ) Control is a big deal for kids. When they push back, it’s usually about needing some sense of control over their lives. Public meltdowns feel harder because we feel judged. We need to remind ourselves—our child’s behaviour is NOT a reflection of our worth as a parent. Modelling emotional regulation is key. If we want them to handle big feelings well, we have to show them how it’s done. ChatGPT has actually helped me be a better parent. (No, really. It’s like having a therapist in my pocket when I need a fresh perspective.) Every parenting challenge is a chance to grow. We’ve never parented a 7-year-old before. Next year, we’ll be figuring out how to parent an 8-year-old. The learning never stops. Mistakes don’t make us bad parents. What matters is how we repair and move forward.

LET’S CONNECT!

Feeling stuck in motherhood? You don’t have to figure it all out alone. Join me inside ‘Finding You’ – my coaching programme for mums who feel like they’ve lost themselves in motherhood and want to start living for themselvesagain. If you’re ready to feel calmer, more confident, and actually enjoy parenting without the pressure of getting it all right, this is for you. Need a quick reset? My Finding You Reset is perfect if you’re feeling overwhelmed and need to take a step back, refocus, and reconnect with yourself—not just as a mum, but as you. DM me on Instagram @the.imperfecttherapist @natashanyeketherapy and let’s chat about how I can support you! Or head to www.natashanyeke.com to learn more. If this episode resonated with you, let me know! Comment, review, or tag me on Instagram! And if you found this helpful, share it with a mum who needs this reminder today. You don’t have to be perfect to be a great mum. You just need to keep showing up.

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When They Refuse, When They Break Things & When We Get It Wrong

Ever feel like parenting just got harder? Like the things that used to work suddenly don’t anymore? SAME. Gentle parenting felt so much easier when my kids were little, but now my 7-year-old is testing independence, and I’ve realised—I need to level up my parenting skills.

In this episode, I’m sharing: Where I’ve been getting it wrong with my 7-year-old (and what I’m doing differently) Why taking her iPad away for four days after refusing swimming was NOT the answer How control plays a huge role in kids’ behaviour —and how to work with it instead of against it Why public meltdowns feel so much harder (hello, embarrassment!) and what I wish I’d done differently The surprising ways ChatGPT has helped me reframe tricky parenting moments Why we don’t need to be perfect to be amazing mums (seriously, let’s stop putting that pressure on ourselves)

If you’ve ever found yourself in a power struggle, reacting instead of responding, or just feeling like you’re getting it all wrong—this episode is for you. Let’s talk about what’s actually working, what we can let go of, and how we can parent in a way that feels good (for them AND us).

EPISODE CHAPTERS

00:00 - When Parenting Feels Harder Than It Used To
32:09 - New Strategies for Parenting Older Kids
32:20 - How to Handle Power Struggles Without Losing Your Mind
38:19 - Why You Don’t Need to Be a Perfect Mum

TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE

Gentle parenting isn’t about letting them do whatever they want—it’s about understanding what they need. Consequences need to match the situation—not be random punishments. (Looking at you, ‘no iPad for four days’ ) Control is a big deal for kids. When they push back, it’s usually about needing some sense of control over their lives. Public meltdowns feel harder because we feel judged. We need to remind ourselves—our child’s behaviour is NOT a reflection of our worth as a parent. Modelling emotional regulation is key. If we want them to handle big feelings well, we have to show them how it’s done. ChatGPT has actually helped me be a better parent. (No, really. It’s like having a therapist in my pocket when I need a fresh perspective.) Every parenting challenge is a chance to grow. We’ve never parented a 7-year-old before. Next year, we’ll be figuring out how to parent an 8-year-old. The learning never stops. Mistakes don’t make us bad parents. What matters is how we repair and move forward.

LET’S CONNECT!

Feeling stuck in motherhood? You don’t have to figure it all out alone. Join me inside ‘Finding You’ – my coaching programme for mums who feel like they’ve lost themselves in motherhood and want to start living for themselvesagain. If you’re ready to feel calmer, more confident, and actually enjoy parenting without the pressure of getting it all right, this is for you. Need a quick reset? My Finding You Reset is perfect if you’re feeling overwhelmed and need to take a step back, refocus, and reconnect with yourself—not just as a mum, but as you. DM me on Instagram @the.imperfecttherapist @natashanyeketherapy and let’s chat about how I can support you! Or head to www.natashanyeke.com to learn more. If this episode resonated with you, let me know! Comment, review, or tag me on Instagram! And if you found this helpful, share it with a mum who needs this reminder today. You don’t have to be perfect to be a great mum. You just need to keep showing up.

Previous Episode

undefined - Can I still have a job I love and be a good Mum

Can I still have a job I love and be a good Mum

On this week's episode of The Imperfect Mum, I'm joined by Sally Mady from Coaching For Balance. Sally is a Ambitious Mum's coach dedicated to supporting mums to find what lights them up and to break the cycle of people pleasing. In this episode, we explore the importance of understanding your WHY and finding space for both yourself and your family. We also discuss strategies for prioritising your to-do list, working in tune with your energy, and cultivating more self-compassion in your daily life.

Takeaways
Ambition can be defined in various areas of life, not just career.
Understanding your 'why' is crucial for motivation.
The Wheel of Life helps assess balance in different life areas.
Cultural perspectives can shape our views on parenting and success.
Self-reflection during lockdown led to personal growth for many.
Self-development is a journey that can transform lives.
Teaching kids independence is essential for their growth.
Time management requires prioritization and flexibility.
Building a support network is vital for busy moms.
Self-compassion is key to managing motherhood stress.

Chapters
00:00 Navigating Motherhood and Emotional Challenges
02:08 Defining Ambition and Success
04:25 Understanding Your Why
06:59 Sally's Journey into Coaching
09:21 Cultural Expectations and Personal Growth
11:29 The Impact of Lockdown on Self-Reflection
14:25 The Power of Daily Reflection
15:32 Finding Balance in Parenting
17:59 Control and Influence in Parenting
19:55 The Importance of Community Support
23:02 Time Management Strategies for Busy Moms
28:22 Embracing Flexibility and Self-Compassion

You can find Sally on Instagram here: @coaching.for.balance

Subscribe to my mailing list here for inspirational ideas and tools to help this season feel like the best one yet. You can also find me on Instagram here; @natashanyeketherapy & @the.imperfectmum
If you loved this episode, please subscribe and share, it helps me to help even more Mums find their joy. Find out how you can work with me at; www.natashanyeke.com

Next Episode

undefined - How Do I Stop Comparing Myself to Perfect Mums?- with Dr Jo Mueller

How Do I Stop Comparing Myself to Perfect Mums?- with Dr Jo Mueller

Ever feel like you’re failing at motherhood, no matter how hard you try? You’re not alone. In this episode of The Imperfect Mum, I sit down with Dr. Jo Mueller to talk about the messy reality of parenting, mum guilt, and why self-care isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity.

We dive into the pressures of social media, the mental load of parenting, and the emotional rollercoaster of raising kids (especially if you’re parenting a neurodivergent child). Dr. Mueller also introduces her Guilty Parent Club, a space for parents to ditch the shame and feel supported.

If you've ever found yourself Googling:

  • Why do I feel guilty all the time as a mum?
  • How do I stop feeling like I’m failing my kids?
  • Is it normal to feel overwhelmed by parenting?
  • How do I repair things when I’ve lost my temper?
  • What’s the best way to support my neurodivergent child?

...this episode is for you.

What You’ll Learn:

Why your mental health matters just as much as your child’s
How to break free from mum guilt (spoiler: you’re doing better than you think)
Why social media makes parenting feel harder—and how to stop comparing
The power of emotional awareness in handling parenting stress
How to repair relationships with your child after conflict
Why “good enough” parenting is actually the best kind

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 | Introduction to Parenting & Mental Health
03:16 | How Your Well-Being Affects Your Child’s Well-Being
06:59 | The Truth About Mum Guilt & Why It’s So Common
11:14 | Self-Compassion: The Parenting Superpower You Didn’t Know You Needed
15:39 | Inside the Guilty Parent Club: A Community for Struggling Parents
19:04 | Mindfulness & Self-Awareness: Practical Tools for Mums
22:36 | Dealing with Guilt & When to Ask for Help
24:36 | Childcare, Nannies & Why You Don’t Have to Do It All
25:40 | Why Quality of Parenting Matters More Than Perfection
27:59 | Social Media & The “Perfect Parent” Trap
29:59 | Parenting Choices, Financial Pressures & The Mental Load
32:14 | Aligning Your Parenting with Your Values (Not Someone Else’s)
34:23 | Adjusting Expectations When Parenting Feels Hard
36:35 | Raising Neurodivergent Children: What You Need to Know
38:28 | Where to Find the Right Support When Parenting Feels Overwhelming
41:00 | Navigating the Healthcare System for Neurodiversity
44:53 | Building a Village: Finding Community & Resources for Parents
46:08 | Outro & Where to Connect

Links & Resources:

💛 Join Dr. Jo Mueller’s Guilty Parent Clublink
💛 Need Support? Work With Me 1:1 – [Insert link]
💛 Follow Me on Instagram for More Real Talk on Motherhood – [Insert link]
💛 Subscribe to The Imperfect Mum Podcast – [Insert link]

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