Being an introvert or extrovert - can we change?

03/03/20 • 22 min

The Head Trash + Healing Show with Alexia Leachman

This week on the podcast I'm exploring the idea of being an introvert or extrovert, and I'm asking the question "Is it fixed? Or can we change?"

I don't often hear extroverts wanting to change, but I do often come across introverts not enjoying being an introvert. Or at least, they make excuses for it and make changes to their life to allow for being an introvert. So they might not be openly be complaining about being an introvert, but it sounds like if they could change it they would.

What does being an introvert or extrovert mean?

This article in Fast magazine describes introverts and extroverts as follows;

Introverts (or those of us with introverted tendencies) tend to recharge by spending time alone. They lose energy from being around people for long periods of time, particularly large crowds.

Extroverts, on the other hand, gain energy from other people. Extroverts actually find their energy is sapped when they spend too much time alone. They recharge by being social.

I would like to take a different perspective here, and it starts with this question;

Why do introverts lose energy by being around people?

I would like to suggest that it's because people and social situations are emotionally triggering for them. When we are emotionally triggered for long periods of time we're exhausted by that and we need recovery time. The reason they might be getting emotionally triggered is that they might have unresolved emotional conflicts or fears and anxieties around being in a social situation.

These fears and anxieties could be things like

What are people going to think of me?
What if they don't take me seriously?
People are going to judge me.
I never know what to say... what if I say something silly?

Being home alone simply means they avoid being emotionally triggered, and therefore they can better manage their energy levels.

During this episode I explore this idea and share some examples that I believe support the idea that being an introvert is something that we can change.

I think that our natural state is being an ambivert, and that being an introvert or extrovert is simply due to the presence of head trash. And this means something can be done about it.

I also talk about introvert speakers - of which there are many - and why they might be experiencing the double whammy of performing and being an introvert that means that they need a day to recover after a speaking gig.

Read the podcast transcript

Head over here to read the podcast transcript.

Would you like to change?

If you find that being an introvert is costing you things in your life and would like to become more ambivert, then get in touch about how we can map out your head trash clearance journey so that you can allow more possibilities into your life.

This week on the podcast I'm exploring the idea of being an introvert or extrovert, and I'm asking the question "Is it fixed? Or can we change?"

What does being an introvert or extrovert mean?

This article in Fast magazine describes introverts and extroverts as follows;

Introverts (or those of us with introverted tendencies) tend to recharge by spending time alone. They lose energy from being around people for long periods of time, particularly large crowds.

Extroverts, on the other hand, gain energy from other people. Extroverts actually find their energy is sapped when they spend too much time alone. They recharge by being social.

I would like to take a different perspective here, and it starts with this question;

Why do introverts lose energy by being around people?

These fears and anxieties could be things like

What are people going to think of me?
What if they don't take me seriously?
People are going to judge me.
I never know what to say... what if I say something silly?

Being home alone simply means they avoid being emotionally triggered, and therefore they can better manage their energy levels.

During this episode I explore this idea and share some examples that I believe support the idea that being an introvert is something that we can change.

I think that our natural state is being an ambivert, and that being an introvert or extrovert is simply due to the presence of head trash. And this means something can be done about it.

Read the podcast transcript

Head over here to read the podcast transcript.

Would you like to change?

Previous Episode

Healing your mother wound

The mother wound is a new term for me, but the minute I heard it, it made so much sense. I knew immediately that whatever it was, I had it! Well, let's face it, we all have it.

I was intrigued as to how the mother wound would show up in our day-to-day lives. I've done a lot of mother wound work on myself, so I had inklings on how my mother wound has been affecting me, but I'm sure I still have blind spots. And I sure as hell will not have anything of value to add when it comes to other people's mother wounds. So when I came across this guest I knew I needed to get her on the show.

Today's guest is Rev Chelle. Rev is a Metaphysical Minister, Family Constellation Facilitator & Clinical Hypnotist. In her work she guides daughters as they connect the dots from their mother wound to issues in their relationships, career, finances, fertility, health and parenting.

The Mother Wound, with Rev Chelle

During our chat we talk about;

What the mother wound is and how to recognise it
the role that inter-generational trauma plays on your mother wound
how the mother wound shows up in on your pregnancy and birth journey
the impact of not healing unfinished pregnancies on the family soul
how the mother wound might be the reason for imposter syndrome, your lack of abundance or your tricky relationships
how you can go about healing your mother wound

Rev Chelle works with people to help them to heal their mother wound. She does this through paradigm-shifting, evidence-based, trauma-informed healing experience that breaks generational and subconscious cycles of pain between daughters and their mothers.

ABOUT REV CHELLE

In her work her focus is breaking generational and subconscious cycles of pain between daughters and their mothers.

Getting to the emotional, energetic and generational root of your Mother Wound
Connecting the dots from the unhealthy patterns in your family system to your most pressing issues in relationships, fertility, parenting and career
Identifying the connection between your Mother Wound and your failed relationships
Why an unhealed Mother Wound may be affecting your fertility
The connection between your Mother Wound and Imposter Syndrome

You can find out more about her work at www.revchelle.com where you can also book a consultation.

Next Episode

The Psychology of pain with Gary Keil

Pain is interesting. At least I find it interesting. And I guess that comes from my work in helping women prepare for birth. Pain comes up a lot! In fact it comes up too much in my opinion. More than it should do. And this is because a fear of pain is probably one of the most common fears I come across. Well, it's only to be expected, after all childbirth is the gold standard when it comes to pain. Everything is compared to childbirth.

And yet in some countries, childbirth is not considered or thought of as being painful. Now THAT is interesting!

This raises all sorts of questions for us around whether something is universally painful.

How subjective is pain?
Can we do anything to avoid it or reduce it in some way?
Do we all experience it differently?
Is it psychological or is it physical. Or both?

These are just some of the questions I'm going to be getting to the bottom of in this episode of the podcast.

Today I'm joined by my guest Dr Gary Keil. Dr. Keil was originally a pharmacist but has continued his hunger for knowledge in better understanding the human condition, why we behave the way we do and how we can improve.

"I am passionate about how the mind and body work together, and how both can be fully developed to create happier, healthier and more creative individuals. Neuroscience and neuroplasticity, philosophy/theosophy/positive psychology, and mind-body practices like yoga and meditation are my main passions but I'm a FIRM believer that what you put into your body is just as important as how the innards work."

During our chat Dr Keil talks about

the difference between pain and suffering
how pain has both emotional and physical components
what we can do to reduce our experience of pain, and what is likely to increase it
how our beliefs impact our experience of pain
the opposite of PTSD, PTGO
what we can to prevent our experience of trauma
the length of time it can take to train and change our minds

It's a fascinating conversation and one that I hope you enjoy.