REPLAY: Not Flipping Your Lid...When Your Kid Flips Theirs

01/04/22 • 34 min

The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

How do we not flip our lids when our kids are going bananas? It's HARD. Because dysregulation is quite literally contagious!! And if we flip our lids too then it's usually pretty hard to deescalate the situation. Offering connection, regulation, and felt-safety to our kids is a lot easier if we don't flip our lids! (Although for sure- perfection in parenting is never ever ever required and sometimes, I flip my lid, too!)
In this episode, we will look at steps you can take- IN THE MOMENT- of a stressful parenting experience (assuming no one is in literal danger!) that will help you stay regulated (not calm!) so you can tackle the real problem. The real problem is probably your child's regulation, connection, and/or felt-safety!
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You can read a blog article that has all the steps written out here (sometimes it's easier to remember things in writing!): www.RobynGobbel.com/notflippingyourlid
If you are new to this model of brain-based parenting, you can watch my free 45 minute masterclass on Regulation, Connection, and Felt-Safety here: www.RobynGobbel.com/masterclass

Come join a community of parents committed to connection and co-regulation- not just with their kids but with each other!!! We need connection and co-regulation to parent the way we want to- just like our kids need connection and co-regulation. CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members

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"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."
You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book
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Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!
Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!
Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

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"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."
You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book
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Previous Episode

REPLAY: Self-Compassion Keeps You Regulated

I love love love talking about self-compassion for two main reasons. #1- Self-Compassion is solidly anchored in the relational neurosciences- and you know how much I love...and need...for things to be anchored in science. #2- Self-compassion has tenacity. There's no way out. Self-compassion has an answer for all your reasons why you aren't worthy of self-compassion. I love that about self-compassion (probably because people describe me as tenacious- especially, relationally).
In this episode, we will explore the science of self-compassion. We'll look at why compassion is the neurobiology of change. Why you deserve compassion. Why compassion is how the brain heals and changes. Compassion can feel risky- and I'll give you the science that might help you feel safe enough to take the vulnerable step toward self-compassion.
To read more about self-compassion, visit robyngobbel.com/selfcompassion
To learn about The Club- a a virtual community of parents of kids who have experienced trauma will offer connection, co-regulation, and compassion to each other, visit robyngobbel.com/theclub

And to begin your journey into brain-based parenting through the lens of regulation, connection, and felt-safety with my free masterclass, head over to robyngobbel.com/masterclass

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"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."
You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book
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Next Episode

REPLAY: Trauma Behavior? Or Just Regular Kid Acting-Up Behavior?

You’ve asked yourself “Is this a behavior that’s coming from my child’s trauma? Or is this regular acting out kid behavior???”

Sometimes it’s pretty obvious but if you’re asking yourself that question, you’re probably in a situation where it isn’t obvious.

What if I told you it doesn’t matter?

Hear me out.

Why do you want to figure that out? Usually because it feels like you’ll handle the situation different based on the answer.

But actually, it doesn’t matter. And it’s impossible to determine anyway.

What you really want to think about is- how dysregulated is my child?

And then respond to that!!

There are some core truths about humans- regulated, connected kids who feel safe do well. So if you’re child isn’t doing well- ask yourself if this is about regulation, connection, felt-safety or some combination of those.

Then, based on your child’s level of arousal/dysregulation, you can intervene in a way that will calm their arousal and bring back their owl brain.

I explore this in depth in today’s episode! If you want to learn more about this way of looking at behaviors, watch this free masterclass online www.RobynGobbel.com/masterclass

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This paradigm shift will change everything you know about parenting. Really, everything you know about being human! In my nine-module in-depth parent course, you’ll go further in the why behind behaviors and then I fill your toolbox with lots of idea on what exactly to do when faced with difficult behavior (as well as how to avoid them occurring in the first place).
www.RobynGobbel.com/parentcourse

You can also sign up for the waiting list to come join me and hundreds of other parents over in The Club- a virtual community of connection and co-regulation for parents of kids with challenging behaviors- most families are parenting kids with a history of trauma. CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members

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"The best parenting book!" "I highlighted every other page!" "This book has transformed our family."
You can get your copy of Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/book
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Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!
RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources