The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
Robyn Gobbel
Formerly the Parenting after Trauma podcast, internationally recognized children's mental health expert Robyn Gobbel decodes the most baffling behaviors for parents of kids with vulnerable nervous systems. If you're parenting a child who has experienced trauma or toxic stress or a child with a neuroimmune disorder, sensory processing, or other nervous system vulnerability, this show will let you know you are not alone. You can stop playing behavior whack-a-mole because Robyn offers you tools that actually work.
You can become your child's expert, feel more confident as a parent, and bring more connection and clarity into your family.
Educators, therapists, coaches and consultants- you too can learn all about what behavior really is and become more effective at helping the families you support. You can love your work again!
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Ep. 75: When your Child's Behavior Doesn't Change, This Can Help
The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
02/27/22 • 43 min
Today is your lucky day because you get to meet a pretty awesome mom.
A mom who might be a little like you- even if you're a grandma or a dad or a foster parent or a big sister or whoever you are.
A mom who is straight up with us right away that she knows it's very possible that her child will have possibly life-long struggles with regulation.
And even if that's true, there are still a lot of things she can do to make life easier or better or maybe just less hard.
I hope you love this special episode.
Many many thanks to my special guest :)
Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/BehaviorDoesntChange
Over on my website you can find:
Masterclass on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
In depth parent course: Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain
CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members
:::
The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store
Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!
RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources
:::
Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook
Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub
Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith
REPLAY: X-Ray Vision Parenting Superpower
The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
01/13/22 • 33 min
Hear me out....If I were in charge of giving out superpowers for parents, especially parents of kids with a history of trauma, I'd give you x-ray vision.
Attachment research is clear about the power of x-ray vision (except they call is reflective functioning and mentalizing). It is a powerful ingredient of secure attachment.
In today's episode we will explore what kinds of things x-ray vision would tell us about our children and their behaviors and why it matters.
It matters. A lot. Seeing through behaviors to what's underneath is one of the most important skills you could have as a parent!
Since I'm not in charge of hanging out superpowers (yet) we'll have to settle for continued blogs, podcasts, and courses that help you put on your own x-ray vision goggles to see what's underneath your child's behaviors!
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Would you rather read about X-Ray vision goggles? Head over to my blog! https://robyngobbel.com/xrayvision/
Wonder what all this talk is about Regulation, Connection, and Felt-Safety? Watch my free masterclass! https://robyngobbel.com/masterclass
Understanding the impact of trauma on memory will also help you put on your x-ray vision goggles for some of those most baffling behaviors! Check our my free video series and ebook: https://robyngobbel.com/videoseries
Ready to dive deeper and practice putting on those x-ray vision goggles while also getting practical tools on how to create behavior change through regulation, connection, and felt-safety? Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain is a comprehensive online parent course https://robyngobbel.com/parentcourse
:::
The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store
:::
Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook
Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub
Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith
REPLAY: Trauma Behavior? Or Just Regular Kid Acting-Up Behavior?
The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
01/06/22 • 44 min
You’ve asked yourself “Is this a behavior that’s coming from my child’s trauma? Or is this regular acting out kid behavior???”
Sometimes it’s pretty obvious but if you’re asking yourself that question, you’re probably in a situation where it isn’t obvious.
What if I told you it doesn’t matter?
Hear me out.
Why do you want to figure that out? Usually because it feels like you’ll handle the situation different based on the answer.
But actually, it doesn’t matter. And it’s impossible to determine anyway.
What you really want to think about is- how dysregulated is my child?
And then respond to that!!
There are some core truths about humans- regulated, connected kids who feel safe do well. So if you’re child isn’t doing well- ask yourself if this is about regulation, connection, felt-safety or some combination of those.
Then, based on your child’s level of arousal/dysregulation, you can intervene in a way that will calm their arousal and bring back their owl brain.
I explore this in depth in today’s episode! If you want to learn more about this way of looking at behaviors, watch this free masterclass online www.RobynGobbel.com/masterclass
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This paradigm shift will change everything you know about parenting. Really, everything you know about being human! In my nine-module in-depth parent course, you’ll go further in the why behind behaviors and then I fill your toolbox with lots of idea on what exactly to do when faced with difficult behavior (as well as how to avoid them occurring in the first place).
www.RobynGobbel.com/parentcourse
You can also sign up for the waiting list to come join me and hundreds of other parents over in The Club- a virtual community of connection and co-regulation for parents of kids with challenging behaviors- most families are parenting kids with a history of trauma. CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members
:::
The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store
Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!
RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources
:::
Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook
Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub
Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith
REPLAY: Not Flipping Your Lid...When Your Kid Flips Theirs
The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
01/04/22 • 33 min
How do we not flip our lids when our kids are going bananas? It's HARD. Because dysregulation is quite literally contagious!! And if we flip our lids too then it's usually pretty hard to deescalate the situation. Offering connection, regulation, and felt-safety to our kids is a lot easier if we don't flip our lids! (Although for sure- perfection in parenting is never ever ever required and sometimes, I flip my lid, too!)
In this episode, we will look at steps you can take- IN THE MOMENT- of a stressful parenting experience (assuming no one is in literal danger!) that will help you stay regulated (not calm!) so you can tackle the real problem. The real problem is probably your child's regulation, connection, and/or felt-safety!
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You can read a blog article that has all the steps written out here (sometimes it's easier to remember things in writing!): www.RobynGobbel.com/notflippingyourlid
If you are new to this model of brain-based parenting, you can watch my free 45 minute masterclass on Regulation, Connection, and Felt-Safety here: www.RobynGobbel.com/masterclass
Come join a community of parents committed to connection and co-regulation- not just with their kids but with each other!!! We need connection and co-regulation to parent the way we want to- just like our kids need connection and co-regulation. CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members
:::
The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store
:::
Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook
Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub
Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith
REPLAY: Why Good Times Can Suddenly Go Bad
The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
12/23/21 • 22 min
I'll bet you are familiar with this baffling phenomenon.
Everything seems great. Fun! Even laughter and real good times.
And all of the sudden- completely dysregulation and melt-down.
Sometimes even just the anticipation of something fun can lead to dysregulation.
I know that understanding the why doesn't exactly solve this problem, but I definitely find that understanding the why can open up compassion and keep us more regulated. Which then means we can respond instead of react.
In today's episode we are looking at the science behind why this happens.
It's science- not sabotage! Promise!
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In this episode you hear me mention a F R E E three-part video series on Trauma, Memory, and Behaviors. You can find that at https://robyngobbel.com/videoseries
If you are ready to take a deep-dive into parenting a child impacted by trauma through the lens of regulation, connection, and felt-safety, you'll want to check out my self-paced, comprehensive, and all online digital course Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain. You can find that at https://robyngobbel.com/parentcourse
CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members
:::
Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook
Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub
Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith
Ep. 62: Trauma Informed Schools with Jim Sporleder from Paper Tigers
The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
11/30/21 • 59 min
You might have met Jim Sporleder in the groundbreaking documentary Paper Tigers. Jim is the former principal of Lincoln High School in Walla Walla, Washington, where he led his team and ultimately his students on the journey of becoming a trauma-informed school.
The work Jim, his team, and his students did was so phenomenal that it inspired the documentary Paper Tigers. If you haven’t seen Paper Tigers, I highly recommend it. It is absolutely worth your time!
A New Lens on Behavior
Jim was inspired to shift toward a trauma-informed lens because he knew his school and his students needed something different. He attended a trauma and toxic stress conference in 2010 where he was exposed to a completely new paradigm on behavior.
“I always believed behavior was a choice,” Jim said.
He left that conference in 2010 with a new – and radically different - understanding of behavior. He said it felt like he was hit by a bolt of lightning; he knew immediately that his approach to discipline needed to change.
Connect with Jim
Watch Paper Tigers on iTunes by CLICKING HERE.
Watch Paper Tigers on Amazon by CLICKING HERE.
Watch Paper Tigers on You Tube by CLICKING HERE.
Find Jim’s consulting services by CLICKING HERE.
Jim is the co-author (with Heather Forbes) of The Trauma Informed School. You can find that by CLICKING HERE.
Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/PaperTigers
Over on my website you can find:
Masterclass on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
In depth parent course: Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain
CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members
:::
The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store
Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!
RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources
:::
Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook
Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub
Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith
Ep. 25: Lacy Alana with Hope- Even when Things Seem Hopeless
The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
04/06/21 • 68 min
Lacy Alana beautifully reminds us that we don't have to be perfect. Our messiness can meet each other's messiness. We can welcome our kids' messiness, and find the strength to keep welcoming it...even when it seems like nothing is working.
Lacy is a therapist, program developer, trapeze artist, and improv genius who comes to the podcast as an adult who understands childhood trauma because she experienced childhood trauma, including being a youth who was in out-of-home care as a teenager. Lacy wanted to come on as a person who offers hope for all the parents and professionals out there walking this hard path of caring for a child impacted by trauma.
Find Lacy and all the amazing work she is doing in the world at www.YesAndBrain.com.
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After you listen to this episode, head over to RobynGobbel.com to explore all the free resources that are available to support you on this journey, including my blog, videos, and more podcast episodes.
If you are ready for an in-depth, deep-dive into learning a new approach to parenting children impacted by trauma, you'll love getting instant access to my digital course, Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain
Parenting children impacted by trauma is a lonely journey- which is why I created The Club- a virtual community of connection, co-regulation, and education. We'd love for you to join us! CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members
:::
The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store
Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!
RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources
:::
Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook
Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub
Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith
Ep. 24: Parents Need CoRegulation, Too!!!
The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
03/30/21 • 33 min
We all need co-regulation.
Me. You.
When our kids are getting dysregulated quickly, flipping their lids a lot, or having mountain reactions out of mole-hill sized problems, what they need is more connection and co-regulation.
This is true for grown-ups, too!
There is nothing wrong with you because you flip your lid. Your not a bad parent. You don't need to doubt your integrity. You want to stay regulated and present, and you are trying.
If you know how you want to parent but are struggling to actually parent that way, you need more connection and co-regulation. If your brain stays more integrated and less likely to 'flip it's lid' you'll be able to use all those parenting tools you have stored in your upstairs thinking brain! (In the course, Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain, I call it the Owl brain).
In this episode, I normalize the need for co-regulation (nothing to feel ashamed about in being human!) and explore how co-regulation can be active or passive.
Turn to the people who offer you co-regulation!
And if you need support in intentionally cultivating your circle of support, we are waiting for you over in The Club.
Offering connection and co-regulation is the explicit purpose of The Club. Sure, we offer parenting tools too, and create a space to really explore the model of providing regulation, connection, and felt-safety to support our kid with their challenging behaviors. But The Club is so much more than that. It's a space for you to be seen, felt, and known. It's a space to undo aloneness.
CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members
:::
The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store
:::
Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook
Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub
Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith
Ep. 23: Karen Buckwalter and Parenting the Challenging Child
The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
03/23/21 • 45 min
I'm so pleased to introduce you to Karen Buckwalter! She is out in the world doing amazing things to support the families of kids impacted by trauma, including training up new clinicians as a Theraplay trainer and consultant, writing books for both therapists (Attachment Theory in Action) and parents (Raising the Challenging Child), and interviewing guests who are at the top of our field on her pocast, Attachment Theory in Action.
Karen and I met online- where so many relationships are now nurtured, and have grown to develop deep respect for the work we are each doing. I love that I get to show you how many people are out there in the world, doing good important work for families of kids impacted by trauma- and absolutely loving the work they do.
Karen's newest book, Raising the Challenging Child, has 30 chapters organized into three pillars:
1. Be a Leader
2. Dig Deeper
3. Prepare for Success
She prioritized writing a book that was practical, accessible, easy-to-read and easy-to-implement.
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When you're finished with this episode, head over to www.RobynGobbel.com to discover all the free resources available for you, including my blog, more podcast episodes, and several video trainings.
You can also access short trainings on specific topics like lying and oppositional behavior, and get immediate access to the deep-dive, comprehensive online course, Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain.
If you love this podcast and you're looking for more support, more connection, and more co-regulation, we'd love to have you join us in The Club- a virtual community for parents just like you. CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new members
:::
The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store
Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!
RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources
:::
Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook
Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub
Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith
Ep. 138: Stealing- Behavior is Just a Clue
The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
06/20/23 • 43 min
An episode that explores the behavior of stealing and the underlying factors that contribute to it.
Stealing is a frequent concern among parents and professionals, yet there is a lack of comprehensive resources on the subject. The goal is to provide a single source that explores the behavior of stealing in depth, taking into account the underlying factors that contribute to it.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- The underlying causes of stealing
- What to do about stealing
- What it takes to help your child be successful at not stealing
Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Previous episode on the Stress Response System: https://robyngobbel.com/stressresponse/
Read a the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/stealing
Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With
:::
The Club is opening our doors and welcoming new members starting Tuesday the 27th! Mark your calendar to go to https://robyngobbel.com/theclub.
The Club is a virtual community of connection, co-regulation, and a little education just for parents of kids with vulnerable nervous systems and big, baffling behaviors. 24-7 access, HUGE learning library, expert coaches, and amazing parents.
:::
Wondering where to start with all this information about behaviors and the nervous system?
Subscribe to the START HERE podcast at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere
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FAQ
How many episodes does The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} have?
The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} currently has 294 episodes available.
What topics does The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} cover?
The podcast is about Health & Fitness, Adoption, Parenting, Kids & Family, Mental Health, Foster Care, Podcasts and Trauma.
What is the most popular episode on The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}?
The episode title 'Ep. 104: Being Adopted with Amy Wilkerson' is the most popular.
What is the average episode length on The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}?
The average episode length on The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} is 42 minutes.
How often are episodes of The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} released?
Episodes of The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} are typically released every 6 days, 22 hours.
When was the first episode of The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}?
The first episode of The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} was released on Dec 4, 2020.
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