The Bad Girls Bible - Sex, Relationships, Dating, Love & Marriage Advice

On the show today we are joined by Vanessa Marin, who is a sex therapist specializing in helping women achieve orgasms. Through her work, in person and online, Vanessa has coached countless clients towards more fulfilling sex and a greater understanding of their bodies. In our conversation we cover Vanessa’s early desire to become a sex coach and the challenges that she faced on her journey towards her current status.

We then get into the nitty gritty of the big ‘O’, unpacking different types of desire, the dual control model, common myths on the subject and the helpful concept of curiosity. We also discuss sex toys, menopause, and some of the methods and resources that Vanessa offers.

• How Vanessa found herself in the job of orgasm coach.
• The basis of Vanessa’s program for helping her clients.
• The strong bond between desire and orgasm.
• Differences between spontaneous and responsive desire.
• An explanation of the dual control model.
• Female orgasms are complex, how can we simplify it?
• Where to start focussing your efforts when learning how to orgasm.
• A few of the myths around female orgasm.
• The courses, steps and guides that Vanessa offers on her website
• Rethinking orgasm through the idea of curiosity.
• The use of sex toys in this endeavour.
• Menopause and orgasm and comparing different perspectives.
• A more realistic idea of a healthy sex life for couples.
• And much more!

“I always knew that female orgasm would be a hot topic in this area but I was definitely surprised by how many women were really desperately seeking some sort of solution.” — @VMTherapy [0:03:38.7]

“There’s a really powerful relationship between desire and orgasm and I think that a lot of women tend to neglect that relationship.” — @VMTherapy [0:07:50.3]

“I think it’s equally as important to think about what are the things that get in the way of me feeling desire.” — @VMTherapy [0:13:28.8]

Vanessa Marin — https://vmtherapy.com/

Brown University — https://www.brown.edu/

New York Times — https://www.nytimes.com/

Oprah — http://www.oprah.com/index.html

Real Simple — https://www.realsimple.com/

Finishing School — https://vmtherapy.com/how-to-orgasm/

Emily Nagoski — http://www.emilynagoski.com/

Come As You Are — https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22609341-come-as-you-are

This is part two of my three part series on how to give your man a perfect blow job. Throughout the series, you're going to learn a total of 37 blow tips, techniques and tactics that are so powerful, they will literally turn your man into your own personal stalker.

If you haven't already listened to the first episode in the series (the first 11 techniques), then I'd advise you to go and download that right now from iTunes or the Bad Girl's Bible website. Show Highlights

1.05 Blow Job Tip 12 - An easy-to-perform blow job technique that delivers a huge amount of pleasure.

2.55 Tip 13 - Learn how to suck your man. That's right, I'm talking about how to suck him. Learn why so many women misunderstand this technique and how to do it right.

4.00 Tip 14 - "Awesome Sauce" - Discover how to change the texture of your blow job so that it feels completely new to your man and tastes great. It's an effortless way of changing up your blow job routine.

8.10 Tip 15 - Why you absolutely must use your hands AND more importantly, how to use them to double the amount of stimulation you give him.

11.30 Tip 16 - How to rub, caress and massage your man's testicles during your blowjob so that it's pleasurable and NOT painful.

14.55 Tip 17 - How to make eye contact confidently and effortlessly during your blow job to make it more intimate and intense.

16.50 Tip 18 - A counter-intuitive trick to build your man up to orgasm. He will literally beg you for more when you use this trick on him.

18.40 Tip 19 - Why taking the initiative is both easy and powerful. Your man will thank you for it. Listen and learn how to do it.

21.00 Tip 20 - Discover how to talk dirty BEFORE and during your blow job to build his anticipation and ultimately make it more enjoyable for both of you.

25.05 Tip 21 - A more advanced BJ technique to allow your man to take control and dominate you. Perfect if you enjoy being submissive.

26.25 Tip 22 - Why slowing down can make your blow job more enjoyable. This also has the added benefit of making oral sex easier for you.

28.10 Tip 23 - Why "wetter is better"

Don't forget, this is part two of the 37 tips to give your man a perfect blow job. Get part one and part two by subscribing on iTunes.

Find out more about the Blow Job Bible book at http://badgirlsbible.com/bible

The final episode in the 3 part series to give your man a perfect blow job. Over three episodes, you'll going to learn 37, techniques and tactics so powerful, that your man will become completely obsessed with you.

If you haven't already listened to the first two episodes in the series (episode #6 contains the first 11 techniques & episode #7 contains the next 12 techniques), then I'd advise you to go and download them right now from iTunes or the Bad Girl's Bible website.

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Show Highlights 1.05 Blow Job Tip 24 - Why Variation is vital to making sure your man NEVER gets bored.

2.00 Tip 25 - How to make every blow job a special occasion, WITHOUT much effort from you.

3.30 Tip 26 - Discover why WHERE you give your man oral sex is so important. Plus, I'm going to teach you a bunch of great places where you can give your man oral that will blow his mind.

5.15 Tip 27 - Why you should keep it simple and "small" when you first go down on him. It makes everything easier for you and keeps it constantly exciting for your man.

7.05 Tip 28 - How to use BDSM during oral sex. You'll learn how to dominate your man when giving him a blow job AND how to be submissive.

9.35 Tip 29 - A crazy-simple trick so that you can use the same blow job techniques every single time you go down on your man, but make the experience feel completely different for him.

12.55 Tip 30 - A very important aspect of his orgasm that you MUST understand to make sure he climaxes with maximum pleasure.

16.35 Tip 31 - Why finishing your blow job with your hands can be incredibly enjoyable for him and easier for you.

18.15 Tip 32 - Learn a number of different ways to finish your man off. This one is perfect if you like your man finishing by cumming on your body.

20.25 Tip 33 - Learn what to do when your man cums in your mouth. Bonus: Learn how to make swallowing his load easier and more enjoyable.

23.20 Tip 34 - Advanced: Some really kinky things you can do with his cum.

27.20 Tip 35 - Why making eye contact with your man as he climaxes is red hot!

28.40 Tip 36 - How to know when your man is about to orgasm and blow his load.

30.05 Tip 37 - I finish up reinforcing why great communication is VITAL for a great blow job, incredible sex life and satisfying relationship.

Don't forget, this is part three of the 37 tips to give your man a perfect blow job. Get part one and part two by subscribing on iTunes.

Find out more about the Blow Job Bible book at http://badgirlsbible.com/bible

This is the oral sex episode subscribers have been begging me for. Today, I'm opening up my vault of secret blow job tips to give you my most powerful ways to please your man with your mouth. Yes, some of these fellatio tips are outrageous and possibly a little too "out there" for some, but if do you use them, you'll be VERY happy with the results.

Show Highlights

2.00 Blow Job Tip 1 - The importance of effective communication if you want to give your man a great blow job.

3.20 Tip 2 - The "golden technique. This is the most important and most powerful blow job technique you can ever use.

5.20 Tip 3 - How to build your confidence when going down on your man.

8.35 Tip 4 - The right kind of foreplay to use to slowly build up the tension and excitement before you go down on him. This will drive him wild and have him begging you for oral sex.

12.10 Tip 5 - How to smoothly build up to giving him a blow job.

16.05 Tip 6 - Stimulating the most sensitive spot on his penis. This alone will make him orgasm very quickly.

17.50 Tip 7 - A bunch of things you can do with your lips to increase his pleasure.

19.25 Tip 8 - A powerful but simple way to tease him mid-blow job.

21.00 Tip 9 - What you should be doing with your tongue. I teach you a number of different techniques and ways to lick your man's penis. I also include an advanced anal technique that drives some men wild.

24.45 Tip 10 - Why "wetter is better."

25.10 Tip 11 - 5 separate techniques to stimulate the top of his penis.

Remember this is just part one of the 37 tips to give your man a perfect blow job. Tune in over the next two weeks for parts two and three.

Find out more about the Blow Job Bible book at http://badgirlsbible.com/bible

Casey Donatello is a married, non-monogamous author and podcast host who embraces the Hotwife lifestyle. She is passionate about supporting others on their journey to becoming more confident and unapologetic in their lives and their sexual choices. In today’s episode, she shares her process of recognizing and pursuing a relationship dynamic and sexual lifestyle that she finds most fulfilling. We also discuss how she found a partner who aligned with her vision for life and sex and how they deal with jealousy, communication, and rule-setting as they cultivate partner-sharing experiences. Casey also offers practical wisdom on entering the Hotwife lifestyle, pleasing your partner orally, and embracing all aspects of yourself through nudism, content creation, and fulfilling sexual encounters. Tune in to hear all this and more from today’s candid and sexually empowered guest!

Key Points From This Episode:

• An overview of Casey Donatello and her introduction to the Hotwife lifestyle.

• Her relationship journey leading up to her current marriage.

• Jealousy in the Hotwife lifestyle and how her dates are structured.

• Rule-setting and the feedback process.

• Tips for those looking to pursue a Hotwife lifestyle.

• Why it’s essential to share your sexual aspirations with a potential partner.

• Casey’s opinion on how to give your partner a good blow job!

• Advice for finding the confidence to talk dirty.

• Our guest weighs in on whether or not size matters.

• Advice for building confidence while riding your man.

• Why Casey doesn’t edit any of her content.

• How public nudism has supported Casey to find body confidence.

• Tips for women who are hoping to squirt.

• Casey’s complex journey into the lifestyle.

• The story behind Casey’s four books.

Quotes:

“[Hotwifing] is completely different than a regular threesome. Sometimes, it’s hard for people to understand how three people isn’t always the same equation. But it really isn’t.” [0:05:50]

“It’s like putting your relationship in a pressure cooker when you invite other people into your bed.” [0:08:26]

“There’s no right or wrong to what you are interested in. It’s just that you and your partner [have to] agree on it.” [0:19:06]

“A lot of times, people don’t want to talk about sex when they’re having sex, but that’s the best time.” [0:30:53]

“If you absolutely hate something or it hurts you, speak up! Don’t let somebody hurt your body because you don’t want to hurt their feelings.” [0:31:22]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Casey Donatello — https://caseydonatello.com/

Casey Donatello on Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/caseydonatello.official/

Casey Donatello on X — https://twitter.com/hotwifelife869/

In Bed Podcast — https://caseydonatello.com/in-bed-podcast/

In Bed with Strangers — https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CQT1R15/

Scarlet Surrenders — https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09PYX8DQB/

Scarlet Swings Higher — https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07RZVKQ3M/

Bad Girls Bible Newsletter — https://badgirlsbible.com/newsletter

Other Episodes You Might Enjoy:

#31 How To Fix A Sexless Marriage & Reignite Fiery Passion with Laurie Watson https://badgirlsbible.com/31-how-to-fix-a-sexless-marriage-reignite-fiery-passion-with-laurie-watson

#34 The Secret To Reaching Orgasm During Sex with Laurie Mintz, Ph.D. https://badgirlsbible.com/34-the-secret-to-reaching-orgasm-during-sex-with-laurie-mintz-ph-d

#29 Experience Squirting Orgasms with Female Orgasm Expert, Jason Julius https://badgirlsbible.com/29-squirting-orgasms-real-foreplay-and-how-guys-can-last-longer-with-female-ejaculation-expert-jason-julius