119 - Generosity Versus Manipulation

06/20/24 • 16 min

Cindy Esliger examines how the scarcity mindset, which seems prudent to adopt in today’s competitive market, can negatively impact our worldview. Adopting a mindset of generosity instead paves the way for more fulfilling relationships and potentially a more successful career trajectory. But sincere generosity is different from the self-serving kind that seeks to manipulate with kind gestures. How are they different? How can we shift our thinking to generosity while avoiding manipulation?

The scarcity mindset operates from a place of believing there isn’t enough to go around and sparks fear of losing what we have. It can lead to excessive caution and to a competitive environment where our success must be at the expense of others. Generosity, however, doesn’t simply mean financial giving but encompasses sharing knowledge, time, and expertise. It views resources as expansive, rather than finite. Manipulation lies in bending this generosity into one defined by its intent, such as exploiting another’s weakness.

How can we integrate encouragement, a type of generosity, into our everyday lives? Cindy has three ways: 1. Be specific, 2. Recognize effort, not just achievement, and 3. Encourage peer recognition. Celebrating the success of others can not only enhance a career but enrich emotional well-being. Cindy explains the many ways generosity can be expressed without manipulation or self-interest and breaks down why generosity is so important in succeeding both personally and professionally.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Resources discussed in this episode:

—

Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Previous Episode

118 - Assume the Best

Cindy Esliger talks about the detrimental effect of rising stress levels and changing workplace priorities on our interactions with others. In these days where stress is an inevitable part of our daily lives, it’s more important than ever to maintain positive relationships with colleagues. Our stress affects our patience, making us assume the worst of those we work with when we need to learn how to assume the best.

Juggling multiple tasks, looming deadlines, and the demand for high-performance standards all increase our stress levels while simultaneously wearing our patience thin and causing us to misinterpret simple things like a missed email or misunderstood directive. We assume that the other person is ignoring us, or worse, attacking us in some way. We never stop to consider that they may simply be as stressed and busy as we are and that the missed email was a simple mistake. Assuming the worst leads us to say things we regret and erodes the important trust we need to maintain with our colleagues.

How can we break the cycle of negativity? We need to strive to assume the best of each other. Cindy shares five practical steps designed to aid us in assuming positive intent: 1) Pause and reflect, 2) Communicate openly instead of jumping to conclusions, 3) Practice empathy, 4) Focus on solutions, not blame, and 5) Celebrate contributions. In this episode, Cindy breaks down the steps in detail and instructs us on how to handle difficult managers and personalities, control our emotions, and look at things objectively. Her advice paves the way for assuming the best, not the worst, from those we work with.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Next Episode

120 - Be Someone Worth Listening To

Cindy Esliger talks about the art of communication in today’s episode. If people aren’t listening when we speak, it’s time for a self-assessment. How are we presenting ourselves? Speaking isn’t just saying something, it’s about presenting a message in a manner that engages the audience. So if we aren’t being listened to, are we the problem? And if so, how do we become a compelling speaker?

The first step in getting others to listen to us is believing what we’re saying. If we don’t believe our own message, how can we expect others to? People are drawn to confidence and clarity, both of which are signs that the speaker knows what they’re offering. Having confidence in our message is vital so Cindy offers four tips for helping us communicate confidently: 1. Know the topic, 2. Practice, 3. Anticipate questions, and 4. Visualize success.

The art of effective communication requires preparation, identifying a main message to build supporting points around, and then understanding how to present it engagingly. The tone of voice, body language, and clear speech, all of these factors combine to help draw audiences into what is being said. Cindy notes that “effective communication is not just about what you say, but how you say it” but acknowledges that it takes practice. She shares five tips for conveying confidence through body language and solid advice on how to demonstrate authenticity, connect with an audience, and prepare the message being conveyed.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email