Stop Sabotaging Your Success

Cindy Esliger talks about the art of negotiation and how frequently we approach it with uncertainty despite how much negotiation infiltrates our daily lives. To assist in feeling confident in a negotiation, Cindy discusses how to establish a walkaway point as a strategy for reaching an outcome we can live with. She guides us through making a negotiation plan that will empower us.

One of the reasons we tend to fear negotiation is the fear of confrontation and not achieving an ideal outcome. This is increased by the common misconception that negotiation is only for executives closing multi-million dollar deals. However, nothing could be further from the truth. Negotiation is a fundamental life skill encompassing everything from sharing household chores to getting a child to eat their vegetables. And like children, who are innately brilliant negotiators, we should approach negotiation with the same tenacity.

Cindy shares some of the psychology behind negotiation and how to use that to improve the quality of our interactions. Knowing when to push and when to walk away is a key strategy in negotiating. Creating a plan beforehand is vital, as setting realistic expectations and a minimum baseline are what imbue us with confidence. Cindy describes the process of making such a plan, how to determine strategic concessions, and how to create a plan B. Hearing Cindy’s advice and putting it into action for our next negotiation will give us a sense of power and transform how we approach the discussion.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Approaching a Negotiation
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Cindy Esliger talks about the pivotal role asking open-ended questions and keenly listening to the answers plays, not just in effective communication, but in navigating office politics. Why should we learn to listen better and why would we want to keep colleagues talking? As Cindy points out, learning more about people’s views and motives leads to understanding what drives them and being able to connect.

Cultivating active listening skills is how we elevate our communication strategies. Active listening is not just hearing the words being said but involves a genuine effort to understand the speaker’s perspective and message. Coupled with reflective listening, summarizing what was said to ensure you understand, this is a powerful tool for improving office politics. Cindy explains all the nuances of engagement, including focus and body language, that improve our listening.

There is so much more to listening than simply not talking. Cindy lays out all the tools at our disposal, all the ways in which we can school ourselves to listen openly, ask open questions, reflect the speaker’s words to ensure understanding, and move the listening into a collaborative conversation. She narrows in on how to teach ourselves to modulate our voice and tone while also interpreting the tone others use and picking up subtle communication cues that allow deeper insight into a colleague’s stance. These are the ways in which we make progress through office dynamics and form valuable connections to aid in our growth.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Becoming A Better Listener
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Cindy Esliger talks about our conscious and sometimes unconscious tendencies to self-sabotage our own success. When we begin engaging in things that hinder our success, such as procrastination, lack of confidence, or self-doubt, we tend to behave in ways that support those feelings and prevent us from succeeding. Why is this? And how do we break out of the cycle of reinforcing our doubt through self-sabotage?

We first need to take responsibility for the self-sabotaging behaviors. We need to acknowledge and identify the specific things contributing to our self-sabotage. We need to learn how to advocate for ourselves and create a strong support system around us. Who are the people encouraging our personal growth and who are toxic and reinforcing self-sabotaging thoughts? Cindy explains why addressing behavior and beliefs is so vital to growth.

Cindy also details six things we commonly do to sabotage our success: 1. Focus on the past, 2. Focus on what we don’t have, 3. Compare ourselves to others, 4. Focus on things we can’t control, 5. Get discouraged, and 6. Get distracted. Cindy gets into detail about these habits and how we can recognize and disrupt them. She offers real insight into the mindset changes we need to embrace to break free of self-sabotage and increase our personal success.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Overcoming Self-Sabotaging Behaviors
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Cindy Esliger discusses office politics and the necessity of engaging in them with integrity. While the term often carries a negative connotation, office politics can positively impact your career and recognizing the dynamics of office politics is crucial for anyone with ambition. It is possible to be strategic and ethical and Cindy shares exactly how to do this within your organization.

Right away Cindy lists four benefits of engaging in office politics with integrity: 1. Builds trust and credibility, 2. Enhances political reputation, 3. Strengthens interpersonal relationships, and 4. Mitigates risks and challenges. Maintaining ethical standards allows us to form positive connections without getting entangled in behaviors that lead to damaged reputations or unpleasant consequences.

Cindy details the behaviors we want to avoid engaging in as they are likely to contribute to a toxic workplace. Genuine relationships are always preferable and those are founded by seeking common ground and showing sincere interest in colleagues. When conflicts do arise, however, Cindy has advice for how to handle them: 1. Actively listen, 2. Choose the right place and time, 3. Focus on the issue, not the person, and 4. Involve others in finding a solution. Cindy’s experience shows how to have a proactive approach to prevent misunderstandings and forge a supportive network. Following her advice will aid in becoming more politically savvy.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Fighting Fair
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Cindy Esliger examines how the scarcity mindset, which seems prudent to adopt in today’s competitive market, can negatively impact our worldview. Adopting a mindset of generosity instead paves the way for more fulfilling relationships and potentially a more successful career trajectory. But sincere generosity is different from the self-serving kind that seeks to manipulate with kind gestures. How are they different? How can we shift our thinking to generosity while avoiding manipulation?

The scarcity mindset operates from a place of believing there isn’t enough to go around and sparks fear of losing what we have. It can lead to excessive caution and to a competitive environment where our success must be at the expense of others. Generosity, however, doesn’t simply mean financial giving but encompasses sharing knowledge, time, and expertise. It views resources as expansive, rather than finite. Manipulation lies in bending this generosity into one defined by its intent, such as exploiting another’s weakness.

How can we integrate encouragement, a type of generosity, into our everyday lives? Cindy has three ways: 1. Be specific, 2. Recognize effort, not just achievement, and 3. Encourage peer recognition. Celebrating the success of others can not only enhance a career but enrich emotional well-being. Cindy explains the many ways generosity can be expressed without manipulation or self-interest and breaks down why generosity is so important in succeeding both personally and professionally.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Unlocking Your Potential
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email