107 - The Longer You Stay

03/28/24 • 16 min

In today’s episode, Cindy Esliger addresses the subject of gaslighting. Gaslighting is a term that’s used a lot because it is a prevalent form of undermining and manipulation that often exists in professional environments. Why do people employ the use of gaslighting? How can we recognize it? And what long-term impact does it have on us? Cindy dives into the explanations and advice surrounding gaslighting.

Gaslighting can take various forms, from dismissing or trivializing our concerns to denying facts or events that have happened. People use gaslighting to maintain or advance their own position in the workplace and it’s effective because it sows doubt in the target and disempowers them. Cindy explains how gaslighting works to erode confidence and details the ways it can cause cumulative stress and an emotional toll that can contribute to mental health issues.

Cindy’s advice for counteracting gaslighting partially involves conducting a self-assessment that builds belief in ourselves that is independent of the opinions of others. Relying on external validation can open the door for gaslighting to be effective. Cindy’s five tips and strategies for building that belief are, 1. Self-reflection, 2. Constructive feedback, 3. Setting personal goals, 4. Self-compassion, and 5. Developing our skills. She shares warning signs, advice for empowerment, and ways to restore lost self-confidence in this necessary and important episode.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Resources discussed in this episode:

—

Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Previous Episode

106 - Burnout or Betrayal

Cindy Esliger talks about two challenges commonly faced in the workplace, burnout and feelings of betrayal, and explores the distinctions between the two. Each has unique characteristics that are important to recognize to protect ourselves from their detrimental effects. Cindy carefully defines burnout and betrayal with advice on how to identify symptoms and contributing factors.

Cindy details three characteristics of burnout: 1) exhaustion, 2) cynicism and detachment, and 3) feelings of ineffectiveness. She then discusses four distinct characteristics that differentiate burnout from feelings of betrayal: 1) origin and focus, 2) internal versus external factors, 3) physical and emotional impact, and 4) responsibility and blame. Understanding the differences is key to promoting a supportive and healthy work environment.

Trust is one of the fundamental elements forming the groundwork for all successful professional relationships in the workplace. Cindy explains why trust and trust violations profoundly impact us and how the erosion of trust leads to toxic work environments that include burnout and feelings of betrayal. She highlights ways for us to express our concerns and take proactive steps to protect ourselves and offers advice on how not to give in to feelings of helplessness. This episode is an important resource for finding our footing through deliberate action and setting boundaries against burnout and betrayal.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Next Episode

108 - Name It to Tame It

In today’s episode, Cindy Esliger talks about fear, specifically the fear that can hinder career growth. It may appear as imposter syndrome, perfectionism, or questioning self-worth, but it can take a toll. Sometimes it can be overcome by reframing it. Words have power and Cindy explains why the way you talk to yourself matters.

The three major fears - imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and questioning self-worth - can impact success in professional settings. Cindy offers a three-step process to help overcome them: 1. Name it, 2. Tame it, and 3. Claim it. She discusses each step in depth, exploring where each of the fears stems from, their impacts, and why the power of words can combat the fear. A shift in language encourages a mindset of progress and resilience.

Cindy’s advice identifies where the pain points in our professional lives arise. We tend to let the fear take over, internalizing it instead of reframing it. The power of language, using words to acknowledge our fear and address the feelings surrounding it, can make a difference and spark self-confidence in us. This is what Cindy talks about, where within ourselves the transformative key lies and how to access it. Overcoming fear means harnessing power and overcoming obstacles and both are required to achieve successful career growth.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email