35: Sleep Techniques for the Whole Family with Kim West
12/08/22 • 42 min
On this week’s edition of Soaring Child, we’re joined by Kim West, the best-selling author of The Sleep Lady’s Goodnight Sleep Tight. She’s been training gentle sleep coaches internationally since 2010 and has been featured on Dr. Phil and Good Morning America as a leading child’s sleep expert.
So many kids with ADHD struggle with sleep, which in turn affects the parents’ sleep as well. In fact, more than 50% of non-neurotypical kids have behavioral sleep problems.
When our bodies go to sleep, they work on our immune system and with kids, the body often produces growth hormones during sleep. The body is also working on memory, retention, storage and organization during sleep, as well as short-term learning.
So when a child is sleep-deprived, it makes it harder for them to learn, to remember, and to pay attention, basically exacerbating ADHD symptoms. Many other conditions also affect sleep like asthma (and asthma meds), obstructive sleep apnea, gut issues, reflux, restless leg syndrome, and eczema.
Kim’s gentle sleep method has the parent stay in the room with the child while they learn, but then does less and less as the child learns to put themselves to sleep. It’s important to follow through with consistency.
She also recommends getting at least 8 hours of sleep, while going to bed and waking up at the same time. She also suggests having a routine before sleep to trigger melatonin in the body. These tips work for kids as well as adults.
Key Takeaways:
[4:45] The mechanics of falling asleep
[8:45] Why kids with ADHD are affected more from sleep deprivation
[14:16] Kim’s Gentle Sleep Method
[16:48] Most common underlying conditions that may be contributing to sleep issues
[19:02] Most common signs of sleep apnea
[26:30] Guide of how many hours of sleep a child needs at different ages
[28:20] Good sleep hygiene tips
[37:28] Kim West’s upcoming books
[39:56] How naps affect sleep
How To Connect With Kim:
http://www.facebook.com/TheSleepLady
https://instagram.com/thesleeplady/
https://www.youtube.com/c/TheSleepLady1/
http://www.pinterest.com/thesleeplady/
Memorable Quotes:
“We are dealing with children that have problems with attention. They have an attention deficit. So when you have a kid that's not sleeping well, it affects it even more.”
“That growth, that repair of the brain and the body is so important and is happening while we're sleeping.”
“I developed a method where you stay with them while they learn. You do less and less and move away as they incorporate the skill of putting themselves to sleep.”
“Probably what’s most important is that we follow through with consistency.”
“Having a routine actually helps tell the brain to start secreting melatonin, the drowsy making hormone that helps you start getting ready for sleep.”
Dana Kay Resources:
Website - https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/adhdthriveinstitute
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/adhdthriveinstitute/
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/c/ADHDThriveInstitute
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/company/74302454/
Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/adhdthriveinstitute/
Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@adhd_thriveinstitute
International Best Selling Book, Thriving with ADHD - https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/book/
Free Reduce ADHD Symptoms Naturally Masterclass – https://bit.ly/3GAbFQl
ADHD Parenting Course – https://info.adhdthriveinstitute.com/parentingadhd
ADHD Thrive Method 4 Kids Program - https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/packages/
On this week’s edition of Soaring Child, we’re joined by Kim West, the best-selling author of The Sleep Lady’s Goodnight Sleep Tight. She’s been training gentle sleep coaches internationally since 2010 and has been featured on Dr. Phil and Good Morning America as a leading child’s sleep expert.
So many kids with ADHD struggle with sleep, which in turn affects the parents’ sleep as well. In fact, more than 50% of non-neurotypical kids have behavioral sleep problems.
When our bodies go to sleep, they work on our immune system and with kids, the body often produces growth hormones during sleep. The body is also working on memory, retention, storage and organization during sleep, as well as short-term learning.
So when a child is sleep-deprived, it makes it harder for them to learn, to remember, and to pay attention, basically exacerbating ADHD symptoms. Many other conditions also affect sleep like asthma (and asthma meds), obstructive sleep apnea, gut issues, reflux, restless leg syndrome, and eczema.
Kim’s gentle sleep method has the parent stay in the room with the child while they learn, but then does less and less as the child learns to put themselves to sleep. It’s important to follow through with consistency.
She also recommends getting at least 8 hours of sleep, while going to bed and waking up at the same time. She also suggests having a routine before sleep to trigger melatonin in the body. These tips work for kids as well as adults.
Key Takeaways:
[4:45] The mechanics of falling asleep
[8:45] Why kids with ADHD are affected more from sleep deprivation
[14:16] Kim’s Gentle Sleep Method
[16:48] Most common underlying conditions that may be contributing to sleep issues
[19:02] Most common signs of sleep apnea
[26:30] Guide of how many hours of sleep a child needs at different ages
[28:20] Good sleep hygiene tips
[37:28] Kim West’s upcoming books
[39:56] How naps affect sleep
How To Connect With Kim:
http://www.facebook.com/TheSleepLady
https://instagram.com/thesleeplady/
https://www.youtube.com/c/TheSleepLady1/
http://www.pinterest.com/thesleeplady/
Memorable Quotes:
“We are dealing with children that have problems with attention. They have an attention deficit. So when you have a kid that's not sleeping well, it affects it even more.”
“That growth, that repair of the brain and the body is so important and is happening while we're sleeping.”
“I developed a method where you stay with them while they learn. You do less and less and move away as they incorporate the skill of putting themselves to sleep.”
“Probably what’s most important is that we follow through with consistency.”
“Having a routine actually helps tell the brain to start secreting melatonin, the drowsy making hormone that helps you start getting ready for sleep.”
Dana Kay Resources:
Website - https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/adhdthriveinstitute
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/adhdthriveinstitute/
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/c/ADHDThriveInstitute
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/company/74302454/
Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/adhdthriveinstitute/
Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@adhd_thriveinstitute
International Best Selling Book, Thriving with ADHD - https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/book/
Free Reduce ADHD Symptoms Naturally Masterclass – https://bit.ly/3GAbFQl
ADHD Parenting Course – https://info.adhdthriveinstitute.com/parentingadhd
ADHD Thrive Method 4 Kids Program - https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/packages/
Previous Episode
34: Executive Functioning with Elaine Taylor-Klaus
On this week’s edition of Soaring Child, we’re joined by Elaine Taylor-Klaus, who’s an author, parent educator, and certified coach, as well as the CEO of ImpactParents.com. She co-created the Sanity School Behavior Therapy Training Program to support parents of ADHD kids.
A lot of kids with ADHD have poor executive functioning skills, which help us organize, think, plan, and prioritize. It’s basically how our mind works to get everything done. Executive functioning includes memory issues, emotional management, hyperactivity, sequencing, action, and engagement. These all interact with one another, so the challenge isn’t in just one area. With ADHD, executive functioning can be impacted significantly, with kids not knowing how to complete tasks even if their mental abilities are quite high.
Parents of children with ADHD need to be trained to understand how to create an environment that’s supportive for their kids who have difficulty with executive functioning. The parents’ behavior is a critical factor in helping kids change. So is nutrition and mindset. Shifting our perspective allows for behaviors to change, which in turn changes the outcome.
Make sure you’ve pinpointed the right problem by breaking it down and looking at what’s really happening. Take it in small parts to solve the bigger behavioral issues. As a parent, you can do it. You just can’t do it all at once.
You should also enroll your child collaboratively in the process of understanding how you can solve this problem together. This gives them a sense of ownership.
Our kids need positive parenting in the context of understanding executive function and setting appropriate expectations. To feel seen, respected, and regarded in the relationship is the core of all of it.
Key Takeaways:
[3:13] Why Elaine started Impact Parents
[5:11] Why parents have to be trained first for their kids with ADHD
[6:46] The role of nutrition in treating ADHD
[8:22] Why mindset matters
[13:21] Definition of executive functioning
[15:06] The different areas that are impacted in executive functioning
[17:46] The Coach Approach to Parenting
[24:13] Working toward long-term goals
[36:23] Parenting teens with ADHD
How To Connect With Elaine:
https://impactparents.com/podcast/
https://impactparents.com/blog
Memorable Quotes:
“A lot of the behavior management comes from really connecting to our kids in a relationship and building trust so that we can guide them to make healthier, better choices for themselves.”
“Our job as parents is to understand what's going on with our kids well enough to accept it without judgment and blame or shame.”
“Understanding the extent to which they're struggling with executive function is really important in helping them learn to navigate it.”
“If you're problem-solving on homework and you're trying to make sure they get it turned in and the real problem is getting started, then you're not tackling the right problem.”
“We have to let go of that fierce attachment to the outcome in the short term and really invest in our relationship with them in the long term and in their relationship with themself.”
Dana Kay Resources:
Website - https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/adhdthriveinstitute
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/adhdthriveinstitute/
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/c/ADHDThriveInstitute
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/company/74302454/
Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/adhdthriveinstitute/
Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@adhd_thriveinstitute
International Best Selling Book, Thriving with ADHD - https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/book/
Free Reduce ADHD Symptoms Naturally Masterclass – https://bit.ly/3GAbFQl
ADHD Parenting Course – https://info.adhdthriveinstitute.com/parentingadhd
ADHD Thrive Method 4 Kids Program - https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/packages/
Next Episode
36: To Punish or Not To Punish, That is the Question with Lori Long & Katie Severson
On this week’s edition of Soaring Child, we’re joined by child psychologist Lori Long and certified speech language pathologist Katie Severson. They were instrumental in creating the Childhood Collective, designed to empower parents by teaching science-backed strategies to raise confident children with ADHD.
One approach is to look at the ABCs of behavior -- A being antecedent, B being behavior and C being consequences. The antecedent is looking at what occurs before the behavior that might trigger it. The consequence is what happens after the child engages in the behavior and how it serves them. For example, lying could be an avoidance behavior. It’s important to ask kids what’s bothering them and unpack the problem so you can solve it by changing up the antecedents.
Communication is essential in changing behavior, including asking questions like, “What’s so hard about this?” or “What emotions were you feeling when I asked you to do this?” Instead of punishing your child for a behavior, ask yourself what your child’s need is and what they are communicating to you. The goal is to teach a more desirable behavior to get those needs met.
It's also important to set up routines and really connect with your child by leaning into their interests and helping to build skills, especially their unique executive functioning skills.
Punishment will give you the quickest fix, but it doesn’t teach any new skills, so it won’t help kids in the long run. Teaching new behaviors takes time, but it can be done by using positive language, giving positive feedback, and building them up in a positive way. That’s how to make long-term changes in the brain.
Key Takeaways:
[3:35] What the Childhood Collective is and how it formed
[5:52] The ABCs of behavior
[8:45] The example of lying as an ADHD behavior
[12:08] Example of cleaning up their room
[16:22] Focusing on connection
[17:14] The role of executive functioning
[21:52] Why punishment doesn’t work in the long run
[24:20] The right dose of medication
[25:27] Dealing with homework
[27:33] Using consequences in a positive way
[33:38] Supporting kids with ADHD in school
How To Connect With Lori & Katie:
www.thechildhoodcollective.com
Instagram: @thechildhoodcollective
Facebook: @childhoodcollective
TikTok: @thechildhoodcollective
Memorable Quotes:
“They get to escape something that’s undesirable, and we try and figure that out to understand what they are trying to get and how we can give that to them in a way that's acceptable.”
“Instead of punishing your child for this thing that's maybe not going to be an effective punishment, you're looking at it and saying, what is my child's need here?”
“ADHD results in difficulty regulating attention, and when kids are focused on one thing, they're not hearing the other.”
“A punishment will actually give you the quickest fix, but it's also the shortest fix because it doesn't teach any new skills.”
“We really want parents to think about what could be going on here and how we can change the situation in the beginning and how we can set kids up for success.”
Dana Kay Resources:
Website - https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/adhdthriveinstitute
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/adhdthriveinstitute/
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/c/ADHDThriveInstitute
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/company/74302454/
Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/adhdthriveinstitute/
Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@adhd_thriveinstitute
International Best Selling Book, Thriving with ADHD - https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/book/
Free Reduce ADHD Symptoms Naturally Masterclass – https://bit.ly/3GAbFQl
ADHD Parenting Course – https://info.adhdthriveinstitute.com/parentingadhd
ADHD Thrive Method 4 Kids Program - https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/packages/
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