Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships

You cannot get blood from a stone, and you cannot get emotional intimacy with a Hijackal. Yes, in the beginning of the relationship, they do a good job of imitating a person with whom you could develop that emotionally intimate connection that lasts a lifetime. No, they actually don't have either the capacity or the willingness to do it, though.

Learn to recognize the clear signs of a person who will never let you close, or want to be close with you...because they are too emotionally immature. Sad. True. See these signs early in a relationship to prevent later pain.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• What emotional maturity looks like in a relationship
• Why you cannot have emotional intimacy with an emotionally immature person
• 11 ways emotional immaturity shows up
• Why Hijackals cannot accept emotional intimacy but are comfortable with being emotional abusers

I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#signsofemotionalimmaturity #emotionalmaturity #noremotionalintimacy #emotionalimmaturitypreventsemotionalintimacy

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Hijackals--passive-aggressive. narcissistic. anti-social folks--thrive on tearing you down. Sometimes, it's a slow picking at you. Sometimes, it's a constant beratement. Either way, you need to stop it from getting into your head and under your skin. And, if it's already there, I'll help you get it out. Listen in.

Hijackals--my word for people who hijack relationships for their own needs and purposes, and then relentlessly scavenge them for power, status, and control--feed on having power over you. It's what gets them up in the morning! Sad.

Hijackals thrive on tearing you down, wearing you down, and putting you down. It feeds that need for control. SO, they will say anything to you that keeps you small and makes them feel big. Nasty!

Whether the Hijackal you have in mind is your parent, sibling, partner, or adult child, subtly or crashingly crassly, they will find numerous ways to make you feel small, worthless, and insignificant. Does this sound familiar? Some of them only do it when fearful or stressed (that can be too much of the time!) and others live in that skin 24/7.

In this episode, I give you 9 ways to stop anyone from tearing you down. No, it has nothing to do with putting your hand over their mouth. AND, yes, it has everything to do with taking charge of yourself so that you can be Emerging Empowered!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• What gaslighting is
• How to stop believing the gaslighting
• Stopping the manipulation of believing a narcissistic person's view of you
• Changing your self-talk to what is accurate, true, and positive...no matter what a Hijackal says
• Taking charge of what goes on in your head and saying "No!" to power games played by narcissists and other Hijackals

Are you willing to believe what you know to be true about you regardless of what a Hijackal tries to sell you? Great. I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#nogaslighting #dontgaslightyourself #putanendtoabuse #dontbedemeaned #stopthemanipulation #positiveselftalk #strengthenyourmind #

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships...

A whole chicken and egg thing! Anger and anxiety are closely related, and it's essential to see how. Hijackals in the mix create a whole other level of mess! Listen in for help to clarify what's happening IN you and TO you.

If you were raised by, live with, or have left a Hijackal--a relentlessly difficult, toxic person, you know what it is to live with anger and anxiety. Sometimes, at the same time, too! Internal anxiety can shift to externalized anxiety which shows uip as anger. It can leave you wondering if you're the Hijackal, right? Yes, it can, but that's not an accurate conclusion to draw. Hijackals are crazy-making, and when anger and anxiety enter the picture, your ability to think straight dulls.

Anger is usually an antagonism for one person who you think is causing your suffering. Maybe, is even responsible for it. Anxiety is a build-up of tension and worry because you don't feel in control of yourself, the situation or the future. That's why you can feel anxious and find yourself expressing anger, and you can feel angry and know that it is an outlet for pent-up anxiety.

Oh, and remember that episode I did on Reactive Abuse? That's a good example of this crazy-making cycle of anxiety and anger. If anything I've written so far makes sense, you'll find even more understanding in that episode. Add that to this one, and you'll clearly see the cycles and why they need to end.

Learn more about how anxiety takes you out of the present and disconnects you from your present reality. Anxiety is usually about something that hasn't happened yet, but you're worried it might. Both anxiety and anger are rooted in fear. That takes some work to recognize, claim, and change. This episode is a good start!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• How anger and anxiety are different
• Similarities between anger and anxiety in the body
• How anxiety can turn to anger and anger can generate anxiety
• How anger and anxiety show up in a toxic relationship with a Hijackal or a narcissist
• Why understanding anger and anxiety in these ways can help you make decisions

Want to know how to handle your anger and anxiety in a toxic relationship? I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anythi...

Sometimes, it's hard to see emotional abuse when it's happening. Sometimes, you were young and thought it was normal. What about now? Are you living in it, or suffering from the long-term effects of it? How do you know? Listen for answers to these questions.

Emotional abuse can be hard to recognize in the beginning. Some people have difficult naming it, even after experiencing it for far too long. This episode will help you understand the underlying nature of living with emotional abuse. I offer the analogy between living with emotional abuse and having black mold in your house. Understanding those similarities can help you get a handle on the extent of emotional abuse you may have experienced, or be experiencing.

Think of the effects of living with spreading mold in your basement or under your kitchen sink. You are unaware of it, yet it keeps on affecting you. Eventually, you find the cause. I hope this episode will help you pinpoint emotional abuse earlier, rather than later.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• Signs of emotional abuse
• Why emotional abuse is the hardest to recognize
• How emotional abuse affects you like mold in your house
• The accumulative effects of long-term emotional abuse
• Why it is essential to recognize and admit that you have experienced emotional abuse.

Were you abused? Are you being abused? Are you healing from abuse?. I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#livingwithemotionalabuse #gaslighting #toxicshame #abuseathome #effectsofabuse #amibeingabused #hypervigilance

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You'll never have the partnership you want if you continue to see your partner as a project.

You'll never be loved when your partner wants to fix or change you.

BIG PROBLEMS!

The three essential elements in a healthy relationship all need equal consideration for their well-being: 2 Me's and 1 WE! Too often, those elements are not considered equally. Each "ME" wants the floor, and the "WE" takes a constant back seat. That won't work because it will all be a struggle--a power struggle. That creates tension and stress which produce anxiety. No one does well when those things are prevalent!

Today's topic highlights an underlying issue in relationships in distress: one partner sees their partner as a project.

Remember Episode 115 about the 3 MUST-HAVES For a Healthy Adult Relationship? If not, I invite you listen to that episode. If you did, you'll remember that one MUST-HAVE is equality. That's simply not present when you think you have the right to "fix" your partner.

Your partner cannot be a partner when you are treating them like a project. Take stock now. What's going on in your relationship?

I'm always here to help.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• Why relationships don't work when one partner wants to change the other
• The essential three entities in a relationship
• Why you lose respect for your partner
• 3 big problems that trying to fix your partner creates for you
• 5 damaging thoughts that destroy relationships
• 6 things that need to happen to make a relationship healthy

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community.

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#don'tmakeyourpartneraproject #equalityinrelationship #mypartnerwantstochangeme #I wanttochangemypartner #ifeellikemypartnerisaproject #acceptingmypartner #beingacceptedbymypartner #powerstruggle

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #di...