Tapping Into The Strength of Men | The Power of Choice

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04/21/23 • 36 min

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I love to give any man who is being of service a platform to share his message. I met today's guest, Dustin Bakker, in an online program and was immediately impressed by his willingness to be authentic and vulnerable and his desire to help other men.

After losing his sense of happiness, Dustin began changing his life and slowly became aware of what his mind, body, and soul were trying to tell him. Dustin did the research, study, and inner work required to discover his happiness. He's gone on to create F.O.ReaLiving and The Strength of Men.

We discuss the power of choice, expressing emotions, and the goal of a stronger connection to our authentic selves. Dustin shares how drugs were one of his masks, keeping him from his strengths and true self.

Dustin is a strong example of self-sufficiency while also yearning for connection. It does not have to be one or the other. Community is another strength that society seems to have let go of.

We all benefit from helping others.

Topics and Questions

1:04 - Tell me about what growing up was like for you.
1:53 - Was your general outlook positive, negative, or neutral?
2:44 - Did you follow your mom's path of being a partier?
4:25 - Was being alone so much growing up a happy time for you?
5:21 - When did you realize your life wasn't working to the extent you wanted it to?
8:03 - Can you expand on the "movie scene" you came home to?
9:12 - Have you always had that intuitive sense?
10:19 - Is a group of scaffolders in British Colombia usually talking about happiness and fulfillment?
11:19 - What do you do in your men's gathering?
12:02 - What are some of the tools you've learned?
14:09 - What do you see as the strength of men?
15:54 - What made you appreciate your emotions?
19:37 - Could you feel connected to your authentic self when drunk or high?
20:56 -How did you learn what it means to be a man?
22:48 - What is FOReal Living?
24:59 - Can you share a practice, program, or book that has helped you?
25:48 - What is one thing you wish more men knew?
27:24 - What are you most proud of?
29:15 - What would you like to see The Strength of Men become?
34:51 - How can people learn more about what you are up to?

"Choice is the superpower that we all have." - Dustin Bakker

Links

Instagram -- instagram.com/thestrenghtofmen/

Facebook -- facebook.com/thestrengthofmen

Dustin Bakker -- TheStrengthOfMen.com

F.O.Realiving -- forealiving.com

Healing & Mystical States Are Just A Breath Away on Amazon, https://amzn.to/41OdGS5

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:

Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk

Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant

Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!

Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related!

RMF Facebook Group | realmenfeel.org/group

YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

Dustin is a strong example of self-sufficiency while also yearning for connection. It does not have to be one or the other. Community is another strength that society seems to have let go of.

We all benefit from helping others.

Topics and Questions

1:04 - Tell me about what growing up was like for you.
1:53 - Was your general outlook positive, negative, or neutral?
2:44 - Did you follow your mom's path of being a partier?
4:25 - Was being alone so much growing up a happy time for you?
5:21 - When did you realize your life wasn't working to the extent you wanted it to?
8:03 - Can you expand on the "movie scene" you came home to?
9:12 - Have you always had that intuitive sense?
10:19 - Is a group of scaffolders in British Colombia usually talking about happiness and fulfillment?
11:19 - What do you do in your men's gathering?
12:02 - What are some of the tools you've learned?
14:09 - What do you see as the strength of men?
15:54 - What made you appreciate your emotions?
19:37 - Could you feel connected to your authentic self when drunk or high?
20:56 -How did you learn what it means to be a man?
22:48 - What is FOReal Living?
24:59 - Can you share a practice, program, or book that has helped you?
25:48 - What is one thing you wish more men knew?
27:24 - What are you most proud of?
29:15 - What would you like to see The Strength of Men become?
34:51 - How can people learn more about what you are up to?

"Choice is the superpower that we all have." - Dustin Bakker

Links

Instagram -- instagram.com/thestrenghtofmen/

Facebook -- facebook.com/thestrengthofmen

Dustin Bakker -- TheStrengthOfMen.com

F.O.Realiving -- forealiving.com

Healing & Mystical States Are Just A Breath Away on Amazon, https://amzn.to/41OdGS5

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:

Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk

Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant

Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!

Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related!

RMF Facebook Group | realmenfeel.org/group

YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

Previous Episode

Connecting Through Trauma | Life-Changing Stories

1 Recommendations

When life gets hard, a lot of men withdraw. They talk less. In the face of a health challenge for yourself or a loved one, you might be much more willing to discuss logistics and tasks than the emotional impact.

My guest today is not most men. He believes in having hard conversations with people going through trauma.

David Richman is an author, public speaker, and endurance athlete whose mission is to form more meaningful human connections through storytelling. With his most recent book, Cycle of Lives, David shares stories of people overcoming trauma and delves deeply into their emotional journeys with cancer.

He interviewed fifteen people who were profoundly affected by cancer - either as a caregiver, patient, or loved one - and explored the dynamic of why it's so hard to discuss the emotional aspects of the journey. These evocative stories give the reader a few tools to take away and use in their own lives when encountering the difficulties of talking to others about the emotional aspects of trauma.

We discuss getting past assumptions, beginning the hard conversations, and being open to the negative and positive aspects of traumatic experiences. To connect with the people we care about, we must be willing to be uncomfortable. There is more behind anyone's story than we know.

Don't worry about what's "proper." Let someone know you care authentically.

Topics and Questions

1:13: - What prompted you to want to write a book dealing with cancer?
1:13: - What prompted you to want to write a book dealing with cancer?
4:44 - Did each participant have a positive side to their experience?
7:12 - How did you decide on these 15 stories?
9:46 - Did you come across any common themes amongst the participants?
13:52 - Did you see that prior trauma led to more or less resilience regarding cancer?
18:27 - Fear of abandonment during trauma.
19:49 - The lie of not wanting to upset someone further.
21:09 - Is it scarier that people might not care or that they would care?
22:48 - Did everyone want the same sort of support?
25:44 - How did you get people to open up to you on such a personal and profound level?
27:21 - Is the advice the same for friends and family who are not trying to write books?
28:44 - What do you hope the reader takes away from reading your book?
29:47 - How do you think the participants' lives were affected by your deep interactions with them?
35:24 - What's the best way for people to learn more about what you are up to?
35:32 - Anything you are looking forward to?
36:16 - Did this prompt participants to write or share more of their stories?

"People are so fearful of saying the wrong thing, while the person going thru the trauma is wondering why nobody will talk to them." - David Richman

Links

Instagram -- instagram.com/davidrichman_cycleoflives/

David Ricman -- CycleofLives.org

See Cycle of Lives on Amazon, https://amzn.to/3GK6zlF

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:

Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk

Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant

Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!

Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related!

RMF Facebook Group | realmenfeel.org/group

YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

#RealMenFeel

Next Episode

Cultural Appropriation in the Mankind Project | Real or Imagined?

Last Sunday, a man reached out to the Real Men Feel page on Facebook and said - I would like to appear on your show and debate "cultural appropriation in MKP." That man, B Crittenden Freeman, is my guest today.

Crittenden has been a member of the ManKind Project for 30 years holding multiple positions, Center Director, Elder, Leader In Training, and Recording Secretary for the MKP USA Board. He was responsible for the occurrence of the 1st NWTA Urban Adventure.

Initially, I thought this subject had been played out. I've done two shows about it, but they were me alone, and I did ask for people to step forward and discuss this with me. So, here we are. I don't think we are on opposite sides of any issue for a brawling debate, but let's find out.

To follow our conversation, you'll need to know a few acronyms; MKP is the ManKind Project, NWTA is their New Warrior Training Adventure weekend, and LKS is the Lodge Keepers Society, the group within MKP responsible for building and running sweat lodges.

Topics and Questions

1:22 - Could you lay the groundwork; what is the controversy around cultural appropriation and MKP?
4:55 - Andy's experience of the NWTA in 2016
5:38 - Have indigenous people claimed MKP has been ripping them off from the beginning or only recently?
6:25 - What happened last year to make this a big issue and result in changes?
7:55 - Andy was ready to staff an NWTA last fall, but MKP halted everything.
9:51 - The millions being made.
13:14 - How MKP learned to put on sweat lodges.
16:56 - The shadow elements of the situation.
21:20 - Cultural appropriation in the melting pot of the United States.
23:57 - Are you good with the outcome but oppose the communication around it?
26:01 - With the changes made, are you in or out with MKP?
30:24 - What's your ideal scenario for resolution?
31:45 - Andy's experience with the updated MKP weekend.
33:45 - What drove your 30 years of participation with MKP?
36:42 - Tell me about the first Urban NWTA.
41:43 - Anything else you want to share?
42:57 - How can people connect with you?
43:37 - Is there a way to get off the limited activities list?