Polyamory Weekly

SAF's first poly experience outside her marriage was the best sex she's ever had. How does she address the ho-hum sex with her husband?

If you’re under 18, visit www.scarleteen.com

Poly community builders Christopher Smith, Robyn Trask, Marina Reiko, Ruby Bouie Johnson and others did an impressive job for more than an hour on Areva Martin's influential online talk show The Special Report

Today’s politics corner is the argument for D.C. statehood. The over 700,000 inhabitants of Washington, D.C. pay their taxes and have no voting representation in Congress. The arguments against: it’s unconstitutional (it’s not); you could shrink the size of D.C. to encompass just the White House and government buildings. Others have pointed out the inherent racism, since D.C. has a large percentage of Black people, and there is the partisanship, as D.C. is likely to vote Democratic. When Rep. Mondaire Jones (D-N.Y.) pointed that out, his words stating the racism of the opposing view were against the rules of the house and had to be removed from the record. Please support D.C. statehood!

If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email [email protected] and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email [email protected].

After eight years of marriage, Stressed as Fuck and her husband opened up their marriage. Stressed quickly had sex with another guy. She says, “the problem is, when I had sex with this other guy it was fucking incredible. Most amazing sex I’ve ever had. It made me realize I haven’t enjoyed sex with my husband. I should also add that he doesn’t want anyone else for sex. But I’m feeling a lot of pressure and just am not feeling like being sexual with him. I feel a lot of guilt. Am I horrible? Is this normal?! Help!”

• You can’t respect boundaries that aren’t yet defined, so keep that discussion ongoing.
• It’s not unusual or surprising that the second person you’ve ever had sex with is good sex. It’s good because it’s different, so don’t assume it’s love. And if sex with your husband was mediocre, explore your emotional connection and sexual desires with your husband. And yes, it’s normal to feel guilty.
• Poly doesn’t fix or destroy relationships, but it does shine a spotlight on issues. You can see as an opportunity to explore ways to improve your sex life. Tons of books will help you explore role play, BDSM, porn, public sex, or other fantasies that could help.
• For the guilt, try the And then what exercise.

Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx.

Cory, another fan of LustyGuy’s politics corner, writes in.

Kristen writes in to share a happy poly moment of the first weekend she, her husband, and metamour spent together.

Thanks to new Poly Weekly Playmate Ben ($1.99)!

Thanks to our Poly Weekly Playmates for your financial support! We also love when you review us on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thanks also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

Celebrating the amazing sex-positive activist Allena Gabosch, who gave us a big scare last week.

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

Last week, we nearly lost an amazing sex-positive educator to cancer. Allena Gabosch has pulled through, so this week’s episode is a replay of my 2010 interview with Allena.

In Bawdy Storyelling podcast episode 78, Dixie de la Tour shares her feelings about nearly losing Allena Gabosch.

The lovely and talented Allena Gabosch, director of Seattle’s Center for Sex Positive Culture, shares the origin story of the Center in its current state and her own experiences with polyamory. Recorded in 2010 from Paradise Unbound!

• Modern Family: More Courts Allowing Three Parents of One Child
• Polyamorous parenting: the surprising benefits of the ultimate modern family

Welcome Camilla to the Poly Weekly Playmates!

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email [email protected] and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email [email protected].

Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write a review on Apple Podcasts! Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Why we didn't produce an episode for eights months and what to expect from Poly Weekly moving forward.

• If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com

• Puppy!
• COVID pandemic left me frustrated, helpless, and unmotivated to podcast
• Stay-at-home had a negative effect on our relationship for a while
• Lack of access to coping strategies. Swimply is the app to rent outdoor pools by the hour.
• George Floyd, BLM, CHAZ/CHOP, federal stormtroopers, kids being tear gassed

We’ll be talking more about politics when it’s relevant. We believe it should be OK to talk about politics, like we believe it should be OK to talk about sex. The personal is political. And we’ll be making calls to action like this one: volunteer with the critical senatorial runoff election in Georgia, donate to Stacey Abrams’ Fair Fight, or donate or volunteer for the candidates Jon Ossoff and Reverend Raphael Warnock.

And the name of the show is still Poly Weekly, so we’ll still be giving relationship advice, sharing happy poly moments, and addressing your feedback. We’ll just also be sprinkling in more politics when it’s relevant.

If that isn’t your thing, we invite you to subscribe to the Multiamory podcast or listen to Esther Perel’s sex podcast or any other poly- or sex-oriented podcast.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email [email protected] and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email [email protected].

To join the online conversation around this and other episodes, follow us on Twitter or Facebook. We love when you review us on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly.

Thanks to all our PW Playmates! Also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

How do you handle moving, job loss, death, and other relationship changes?

• If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com
• We’re heading to Croatia for a vacation!

The gap between people’s stated positions and what they actually vote for.

If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email [email protected] and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email [email protected] and copy [email protected].

Dan and dawn have been a lifestyle couple since 2001 and have presented at over 100 events around North America. Not only do they enjoy teaching workshops and classes, they also share via books, specialized events, and fun consent negotiation playing cards! They were last on Poly Weekly in 2014 on episode 400: Poly for introverts.

They are also the co-hosts of the Erotic Awakening Podcast, an educational show that explores “all things erotic” since 2011; co-founders of the Columbus Space, an alternative community center; 2016 MAsT International Member’s Choice Presenter of the Year Award winner; Great Lakes region title holders (2010); creators of the Scarlet Sanctuary and Path of the Qadishti (sacred sexuality spaces); featured educators on both Kink Academy and Creative Sexuality; and mentioned in a number of books, articles, and other media.

• Embrace the power of “I don’t know”
• Balance appreciating what you have with mourning the loss of a partner or lifestyle
• Understand that emotions happen
• Change is a type of loss. Don’t avoid that grief; lean in to it.
• Update your partner before your Facebook status

Find Dan and Dawn at Erotic Awakening, on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Find their polyamory toolkit here.

Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx.

A listener writes in asking for advice on continuing a romantic relationship. She was poly but agreed to marry her now-husband P with the idea that they would open up the marriage later. She has a friend of seven years, J, with whom she recently connected and wants to pursue a romantic relationship. She is anxious every time J goes on a date with someone else, fearing he’ll dump her for someone who will be monogamous with him. How does she avoid getting hurt by love?

• You don’t. To love is to risk vulnerability. You minimize risk by minimizing joy and intimacy.
• Take the Buddhist approach: embrace love, accept the pain that comes with it.
• If you really want to minimize pain, have some difficult conversations. Where is P in all this? Does he support you? Talk through best and worst case scenarios with P and J.

Herbalwise recommends the 2014 movie The One I Love as semi-poly-friendly.

Welcome NS to the Poly Weekly playmates!

Thanks to our Poly Weekly Playmates for your financial support! We also love when you review us on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thanks also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

What do you do when you have one romantic partner and your partner has none?

• If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com
• What were your favorite shows of 2019?
  • 569 Building open relationships with Dr. Liz Powell--March 18--17,397
  • 572 When your partner’s jealousy precludes your polyamory--April 28--14,392
  • 568 A framework for consent--March 3--13,440
  • 576 Will poly help emotionally unavailable partners--July 1--13,019
  • All-time downloads: 7,261,446

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email [email protected] and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email [email protected].

Oliver is in his first non-mono relationship with S. S had said she wouldn’t date him if he were monogamous, so he gave it a try. Now he is in a relationship with T, and S has decided that “meaningless sex with strangers” aren’t what she wants. Oliver is afraid S will ask him to stop seeing T, since S has no relationship partners.

Has anyone of you ever come across a situation where you've been frustrated with non-monogamy? How can you manage a situation where one partner has other partners while the other one doesn't?

• It’s the people involved, not the relationship style you should question.
• Relationships don’t have to be equal; they only need to be fair. Your polyamory isn’t contingent upon your partner having a certain number of relationships/partners.
• Relationship ruler: is it making you a happier and healthier version of yourself?
• You can be gay and not dating. You can be poly and only dating one person (like Minx)
• You get to decide who you date and how you date them. So does she. She doesn’t get to say who you date (although she can certainly establish a boundary that if you date other people, she won’t be with you).

To join the online conversation around this and other episodes, follow us on Twitter or Facebook. We love when you review us on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly.

C writes in to share a happy poly moment about opening her relationship due to a long-distance move, and things went well!

Thanks to our new PW Playmate, Tom, for his subscription! Also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.