597 I had the best s*x of my life with another guy

Explicit content warning

05/12/21 • 26 min

1 Listener

SAF's first poly experience outside her marriage was the best sex she's ever had. How does she address the ho-hum sex with her husband?

0:00 Introduction and host chat

If you’re under 18, visit www.scarleteen.com

00:45 Poly in the news

Poly community builders Christopher Smith, Robyn Trask, Marina Reiko, Ruby Bouie Johnson and others did an impressive job for more than an hour on Areva Martin's influential online talk show The Special Report

2:00 Lusty Guy’s Politics Corner

Today’s politics corner is the argument for D.C. statehood. The over 700,000 inhabitants of Washington, D.C. pay their taxes and have no voting representation in Congress. The arguments against: it’s unconstitutional (it’s not); you could shrink the size of D.C. to encompass just the White House and government buildings. Others have pointed out the inherent racism, since D.C. has a large percentage of Black people, and there is the partisanship, as D.C. is likely to vote Democratic. When Rep. Mondaire Jones (D-N.Y.) pointed that out, his words stating the racism of the opposing view were against the rules of the house and had to be removed from the record. Please support D.C. statehood!

11:00 Feedback

If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email [email protected] and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email [email protected].

11:30 Topic: I had the best sex of my life with another guy. Help!

After eight years of marriage, Stressed as Fuck and her husband opened up their marriage. Stressed quickly had sex with another guy. She says, “the problem is, when I had sex with this other guy it was fucking incredible. Most amazing sex I’ve ever had. It made me realize I haven’t enjoyed sex with my husband. I should also add that he doesn’t want anyone else for sex. But I’m feeling a lot of pressure and just am not feeling like being sexual with him. I feel a lot of guilt. Am I horrible? Is this normal?! Help!”

You can’t respect boundaries that aren’t yet defined, so keep that discussion ongoing.
It’s not unusual or surprising that the second person you’ve ever had sex with is good sex. It’s good because it’s different, so don’t assume it’s love. And if sex with your husband was mediocre, explore your emotional connection and sexual desires with your husband. And yes, it’s normal to feel guilty.
Poly doesn’t fix or destroy relationships, but it does shine a spotlight on issues. You can see as an opportunity to explore ways to improve your sex life. Tons of books will help you explore role play, BDSM, porn, public sex, or other fantasies that could help.
For the guilt, try the And then what exercise.

20:00 Join the conversation

Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx.

20:45 Feedback

Cory, another fan of LustyGuy’s politics corner, writes in.

22:30 Happy poly moment

Kristen writes in to share a happy poly moment of the first weekend she, her husband, and metamour spent together.

25:45 Thank you!

Thanks to new Poly Weekly Playmate Ben ($1.99)!

Thanks to our Poly Weekly Playmates for your financial support! We also love when you review us on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thanks also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

SAF's first poly experience outside her marriage was the best sex she's ever had. How does she address the ho-hum sex with her husband?

0:00 Introduction and host chat

If you’re under 18, visit www.scarleteen.com

00:45 Poly in the news

2:00 Lusty Guy’s Politics Corner

11:00 Feedback

11:30 Topic: I had the best sex of my life with another guy. Help!

You can’t respect boundaries that aren’t yet defined, so keep that discussion ongoing.
It’s not unusual or surprising that the second person you’ve ever had sex with is good sex. It’s good because it’s different, so don’t assume it’s love. And if sex with your husband was mediocre, explore your emotional connection and sexual desires with your husband. And yes, it’s normal to feel guilty.
Poly doesn’t fix or destroy relationships, but it does shine a spotlight on issues. You can see as an opportunity to explore ways to improve your sex life. Tons of books will help you explore role play, BDSM, porn, public sex, or other fantasies that could help.
For the guilt, try the And then what exercise.

20:00 Join the conversation

Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx.

20:45 Feedback

Cory, another fan of LustyGuy’s politics corner, writes in.

22:30 Happy poly moment

Kristen writes in to share a happy poly moment of the first weekend she, her husband, and metamour spent together.

25:45 Thank you!

Thanks to new Poly Weekly Playmate Ben ($1.99)!

Previous Episode

596 How does poly in person look?

Two topics this week! What does post-pandemic poly look like, and how do you keep your boyfriend from surprising you with new partners when you've asked him not to?

0:00 Introduction and host chat

If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com
We’re in top 20 podcasts about polyamory! https://blog.feedspot.com/polyamory_podcasts/
Minx is fully vaccinated, pending 10 more day’s wait. A massage and travel are on the horizon!

3:15 Poly in the news

3500-word BBC article quoting Dossie Easton and great to show to relatives who think it’s just you: https://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2021/03/major-bbc-article-rise-of-multi-partner.html
COVD and poly https://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2021/03/at-one-year-mark-polyamorys-many-sided.html

5:15 Lusty Guy’s Politics Corner

Most white U.S. citizen don’t know about the MOVE bombing, in which when the Philadelphia Police Department bombed a residential home occupied by the militant black anarcho-primitivist group MOVE, and the Philadelphia Fire Department let the fire burn out of control. Five children and six adults were killed. More links:

The Guardian’s article on reconciliation
NPR’s recent coverage of losing the children’s bones
Our take on the Chauvin verdict

14:15 Feedback

15:00 Topic 1: How does poly in person look?

K started her poly journey during the pandemic and has only had socially distanced dates with her new partner. How do you act when you all get together in person so it’s not awkward?

20:45 Topic 2: My partner only tells me about new girlfriends after their dates

W is in a relationship with her husband and has a boyfriend, who is also married. He has repeatedly casually dropped that he was going to have an overnight with someone else on her last-minute. She has asked him for advance notice to process, but he continues to bring up his dates last-minute. She wants to know what her “recourse” is, and if she’s overreacting.

28:00 Join the conversation

Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx.

28:20 Feedback

Matt from 593 shares an update! Emma ghosted him shortly after he sent it, but says, “While I didn't hear your advice now back then, I did essentially come to terms with a lot of what you said. I think you both were accurate with how you looked at things (as usual!) and with hindsight being (not gonna say it), it was tough for a while but I definitely got through it and am feeling good about a lot of things, minus the pandemic that happened since then and still continues. You are not however going lose a follower! You two are absolute gems and I appreciate so much the work that you both do as educators to so many different people. I love learning from you and I hope I continue to take a great appreciation for the awesome work you do. I hope that all is well and continues to be well for you.”

30:00 Thank you!

Thanks to Andrew ($69) and Gabriel ($96) for your donations!

Next Episode

598 My husband vetoed my partner

Mathias' husband vetoed Mathias' feelings for and non-threesome sex with his new partner. Should Mathias end his 13-year relationship or stay but resent his husbands' veto?

0:00 Introduction and host chat

If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com
Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy are doing Navigating Consent classes

4:30 Poly in the news

Romper published a 4,000-word feature with the arresting title The Nonmonoga-Moms Next Door

7:30 Lusty Guy’s Politics Corner

Lusty Guy defines fascism and comments on its consolidation within today’s Republican party.

Fascism
Liz Cheney ousted from leadership role for refusing to support the false claim that the election wasn’t legitimate
Republican efforts to suppress voting following the 2020 election

13:30 Contact us

14:00 Topic: My husband vetoed my partner

Mathias and his partner have been together 13 years, married just over three. They’ve had threesomes. Then Mathias met Markus, dated him independently, and fell for him pretty hard. He did bring Markus home for a reportedly amazing threesome followed by breakfast! Mathias kept dating Markus independently, came home later than expected (by 30 min) one night, and the hubbie vetoed both feelings for and independent sex with Markus. They have continued to date and enjoy a romantic friendship, but Mathias wants more, so he proposed polyamory.

This is a permission model of relationship, which is putting you in a parent-child dynamic
Think of this as a mutual renegotiation of the rules of engagement to provide security for him and honesty for Mathias
Those who force the choice lose the choice
And then what exercise to deal with insecurity
If this does spell the end of your marriage, resist the urge to think of it as a failure; it’s a successful relationship that came to a conclusion.

26:55 Join the conversation

Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx.

27:15 Feedback

Chloe from episode 359 Being out, poly, pregnant, and judged gives us an update.

32:05 Happy poly moment

From Instagram

32:45 Thank you!

Thanks to new Poly Weekly Playmate Brian!