588 Where the f-ck have we been

Explicit content warning

12/08/20 • 21 min

1 Listener

Polyamory Weekly

Why we didn't produce an episode for eights months and what to expect from Poly Weekly moving forward.

0:00 Introduction and host chat

If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com

1:00 Host chat: why haven’t we produced for eight months

Puppy!
COVID pandemic left me frustrated, helpless, and unmotivated to podcast
Stay-at-home had a negative effect on our relationship for a while
Lack of access to coping strategies. Swimply is the app to rent outdoor pools by the hour.
George Floyd, BLM, CHAZ/CHOP, federal stormtroopers, kids being tear gassed

14:30 What Poly Weekly will be moving forward

We’ll be talking more about politics when it’s relevant. We believe it should be OK to talk about politics, like we believe it should be OK to talk about sex. The personal is political. And we’ll be making calls to action like this one: volunteer with the critical senatorial runoff election in Georgia, donate to Stacey Abrams’ Fair Fight, or donate or volunteer for the candidates Jon Ossoff and Reverend Raphael Warnock.

And the name of the show is still Poly Weekly, so we’ll still be giving relationship advice, sharing happy poly moments, and addressing your feedback. We’ll just also be sprinkling in more politics when it’s relevant.

If that isn’t your thing, we invite you to subscribe to the Multiamory podcast or listen to Esther Perel’s sex podcast or any other poly- or sex-oriented podcast.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email [email protected] and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email [email protected].

Join the conversation

To join the online conversation around this and other episodes, follow us on Twitter or Facebook. We love when you review us on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly.

Thank you to our subscribers and contributors

Thanks to all our PW Playmates! Also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

Why we didn't produce an episode for eights months and what to expect from Poly Weekly moving forward.

0:00 Introduction and host chat

If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com

1:00 Host chat: why haven’t we produced for eight months

Puppy!
COVID pandemic left me frustrated, helpless, and unmotivated to podcast
Stay-at-home had a negative effect on our relationship for a while
Lack of access to coping strategies. Swimply is the app to rent outdoor pools by the hour.
George Floyd, BLM, CHAZ/CHOP, federal stormtroopers, kids being tear gassed

14:30 What Poly Weekly will be moving forward

If that isn’t your thing, we invite you to subscribe to the Multiamory podcast or listen to Esther Perel’s sex podcast or any other poly- or sex-oriented podcast.

Join the conversation

Thank you to our subscribers and contributors

Thanks to all our PW Playmates! Also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

Previous Episode

587 Love in the time of coronavirus

How do we practice poly responsibly during a pandemic? Is it OK to move my metamour in with me rather than not see her for the duration of enforced social isolation?

0:00 Introduction and host chat

If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com
Found a new poly podcast, Pod Pod Cvlt Cast, with 34 long episodes!
We’ve got a new puppy to keep us company during #stayathome!

3:00 Poly in the news

Elisabeth Sheff’s four-part series on monogamy in Psychology Today: CNM is not a good choice as a method to fix a relationship that is broken, Four tips for heteroflexible couples who are considering opening their relationships, Three reasons why consensual non-monogamy will not work for people who are monogamous, and her latest, Monogamy by Orientation.
Alan’s Friday Poly in the news roundup, covering primarily the coronavirus pandemic.
- How coronavirus is impacting polyamorous relationships
- How a polyamory expert is dating during the coronavirus pandemic
- What it’s like to isolate with your girlfriend and her other boyfriend
- Is it irresponsible to date around during a pandemic
Minx’s advice
- Use Zoom or Amazon Chime to host a virtual dance party or cocktail hour to stay connected
- Use your webcam to see facial expressions
- Try watching movies “together” over Zoom. Or send dinner to them and Zoom each other to chat during!

10:45 Contact us

11:25 Topic: should we move my metamour in with us while we socially isolate?

If you’re considering cohabitation that you wouldn’t have considered due to coronavirus social isolation requirements, some advice:

As always, make sure your existing relationships are relatively healthy first.
Ask everyone involved what they need to be happy and healthy in a communal space. Consider personal space, alone time, sexual, and physical needs.
Discuss how finances will work in terms of rent, groceries, and other bills.
Discuss expectations for chores and other responsibilities.
Ask your kids how they feel about your metamour moving in.
Have the pets been introduced? Is there a danger that they might attack each other?
Set up regular check-ins after the move-in. These provide opportunities to bring up what it working well, what isn’t, to express gratitude and appreciations, and to bring up issues before they become bigger.
Take a break from news coverage if it increases anxiety or feelings of depression.

17:00 Join the conversation

17: 05 Feedback

S from the Boston area calls in to share a personal neologism, “schmeeling.”
Phe...

Next Episode

589 My dom's girlfriend is domblocking me

Worried and her roommate are seeing the same long-distance dom, and her roommate started dating him and then put restrictions on Worried's time with him. Should they move in together?

0:00 Introduction and host chat

If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com
The surprising obstacles to polyamorous marriage

2:40 Lusty Guy’s polyamory and politics corner

Lusty Guy provides insights on expertise: what is it, when do you have it, and what to do in its absence. To start increasing your expertise on U.S. politics, LG’s suggests reading Howard Zinn’s A People’s History of the United States.

6:50 Topic: My dom’s girlfriend is domblocking me

Worried has a roommate, and they have both been playing with the same long-distance dom for two years. The roomie and the dom began dating, and the roomie began “putting restrictions” on the dom’s play with Worried. Worried thinks that the roomie is fabricating issues to enforce her girlfriend status. They are talking about moving in together.

Don’t move in until this is resolved
Why are you blaming the roommate instead of the person performing the unwanted actions, the dom?
When you have a conversation with your roommate, go in seeking to understand and with vulnerability
Claim your autonomy; it’s your choice whether to obey your roommate’s rules
This smells like a relationship by crisis model in which whoever has the biggest crisis gets the most attention. So just ask your dom for what you want, regardless of crises. Ask for what you want!
Are they a good roommate, outside of the dom issue? Can you easily share household chores or choose a restaurant for dinner?
Put yourself first

18:35 Feedback

Welcome to our listeners in the US, Canada, Germany, Australia, UK, Netherlands, Poland, and New Zealand. Shout out to that one person listening in Belize, Tunisia, Luxembourg, Ecuador, and Chile!

19:15 Happy poly moment

From S in Mexico on her family accepting her polyamory and her partner participating in her
A COVID story from L!

22:45 Thank you to our subscribers and contributors

Welcome to our new PW Playmates, Ivo, Erin, Laurel, Monica, and Nathanael. Thanks to all our PW Playmates! Also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.

23:00 Contact us

Join the conversation