605 Poly change management

How do you handle moving, job loss, death, and other relationship changes?

00:30 Introduction and host chat

• If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com
• We’re heading to Croatia for a vacation!

2:12 Lusty Guy’s Politics Corner

The gap between people’s stated positions and what they actually vote for.

5:28 Contact us

If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email [email protected] and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email [email protected] and copy [email protected].

5:51 Interview: Dan and dawn on poly change management

Dan and dawn have been a lifestyle couple since 2001 and have presented at over 100 events around North America. Not only do they enjoy teaching workshops and classes, they also share via books, specialized events, and fun consent negotiation playing cards! They were last on Poly Weekly in 2014 on episode 400: Poly for introverts.

They are also the co-hosts of the Erotic Awakening Podcast, an educational show that explores “all things erotic” since 2011; co-founders of the Columbus Space, an alternative community center; 2016 MAsT International Member’s Choice Presenter of the Year Award winner; Great Lakes region title holders (2010); creators of the Scarlet Sanctuary and Path of the Qadishti (sacred sexuality spaces); featured educators on both Kink Academy and Creative Sexuality; and mentioned in a number of books, articles, and other media.

Poly change management

• Embrace the power of “I don’t know”
• Balance appreciating what you have with mourning the loss of a partner or lifestyle
• Understand that emotions happen
• Change is a type of loss. Don’t avoid that grief; lean in to it.
• Update your partner before your Facebook status

Find Dan and Dawn at Erotic Awakening, on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Find their polyamory toolkit here.

26:30 Join the conversation

Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx.

27:15 Listener question

A listener writes in asking for advice on continuing a romantic relationship. She was poly but agreed to marry her now-husband P with the idea that they would open up the marriage later. She has a friend of seven years, J, with whom she recently connected and wants to pursue a romantic relationship. She is anxious every time J goes on a date with someone else, fearing he’ll dump her for someone who will be monogamous with him. How does she avoid getting hurt by love?

• You don’t. To love is to risk vulnerability. You minimize risk by minimizing joy and intimacy.
• Take the Buddhist approach: embrace love, accept the pain that comes with it.
• If you really want to minimize pain, have some difficult conversations. Where is P in all this? Does he support you? Talk through best and worst case scenarios with P and J.

35:25 Feedback

Herbalwise recommends the 2014 movie The One I Love as semi-poly-friendly.

36:25 Thank you!

Welcome NS to the Poly Weekly playmates!

Thanks to our Poly Weekly Playmates for your financial support! We also love when you review us on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thanks also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.