One Day You Finally Knew: For Folx Breaking Away

When something terrible in the world happens that isn't directly happening to us, we have a choice. We can look away, deciding it's too much pain to take in and feel. Or, we can keep looking, deciding to let the pain of the world pierce our hearts and let it be a call to action.
If you're someone for whom taking in the pain makes it too much for you to get through your days with at least some moments of peace, you must find the middle way.
The middle way means avoiding the extremes in life. Life is always going to be full of polarities. Contrast and complement are crucial to living. No light without dark. No joy without pain.
We must practice the middle way if we're going to make it through this world; our horrible, gorgeous, profane, sacred, fucked up, perfect world.
We can't look away. But we can't let the looking destroy us.
In this episode, Jessica talks about ways that we can strike this balance, including choosing wisely how you get your information and how to get curious about what other food you're giving your head. She includes resources to help and reminds you that even the smallest donation still makes a difference toward alleviating suffering. She shares some things you can do to feel less helpless, hopeless, and immobilized. And also includes her belief that taking breaks can be a part of essential boundary setting; that it can refresh you and helps you to get back into the world with more generosity.
Links for helping Afghan refugees:
No One Left Behind: https://www.nooneleft.org
Chartering flights and helping with Special Immigration Visas (SIVs)
International Refugee Assistance Project: http://www.refugeerights.org
Providing legal resources for Afghan refugees
Together Rising: https://www.togetherrising.org
Presently giving donations to Women For Afghan Women (WAW) @womenforafghanwomen on IG, who are working around the clock in Kabul to provide emergency services and continue crucial programs for Afghan women, children, and families.
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The One Day You Finally Knew: For Women Breaking Away podcast is produced and edited by Jessica Chasnoff, a recovering perfectionist who is always on a learning curve. While she is a psychologist, this podcast is not a substitute for mental health services. If you're struggling with mental health concerns, please reach out to a professional near you.
Connect with Jessica:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/your_deepest_presence/
Twitter: http://Twitter.com/@deepestpresence
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100070192401240
Website: https://www.DeepestPresence.com

So many of us have a little girl that lives inside our hearts. A little girl who could not show the world who she was when we were young because she was misunderstood, told she was too sensitive, and potentially ostracized from peer groups and family. Maybe she was banished from the lunch table.
So, that little girl got small to meet the needs and desires of others who didn't have the capacity to meet her needs. It takes self-compassion to cradle that little girl inside. And it takes courage to finally break away from not being yourself, as a grown woman.
In this episode, Jessica tells the story of the little girl who lives in her heart; the little girl she's learned how to love by letting go of the messaging she received through much of her life that she was too much.
Also, some thoughts on how fucking up is a necessary part of self-growth, and will most definitely be a part of the anti-racist work that white women are being called to do right now. It helps if we can do this work together, as amazing women keeping each other honest. Jessica is committed to showing you her flaws as she grows, with the hopes that you won't be afraid to do the same.
And if you are afraid, that's okay. Jessica is too. But let's do it anyway. Together.
P.S. The red pills Jessica mentions taking are a reference to The Matrix. Not actual red pills.
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The One Day You Finally Knew: For Women Breaking Away podcast is produced and edited by Jessica Chasnoff, a recovering perfectionist who is always in a learning curve. While she is a psychologist, this podcast is not psychotherapy, and is not a substitute for mental health services. If you're struggling with mental health concerns, please reach out to a professional near you.
Connect with Jessica:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/your_deepest_presence/
Twitter: http://Twitter.com/@deepestpresence
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100070192401240
Website: https://www.DeepestPresence.com

Deciding to leave something (or someone) is a creative process. It doesn't happen overnight. We must sit and steep in the possibilities, spend the necessary time contemplating the actions, and only then can we make our move. The breaking away is the outcome, but it can't happen without the process. This is a gestational process. Nothing gets born without being gestated first, whether it's an actual living being, or an idea wanting to get birthed into the world.

This process, however, will be interrupted if we leave out a deeply important piece, which is to understand that before we actually make the decision to move, we have to sit and dream into what it is that we're wanting. We then must feel the uncomfortable feelings that come along with that. We need to allow ourselves to really go deeply into that place; the place where what wants to die gets eaten, gets metabolized, gets transformed. Only then do we arrive at a place where we can make a decision and go forward.
We must include before we can transcend, sweet ones.

In today's episode, we invite ourselves to sit and simmer in all the feelings that are coming up for us, whatever it is we're working with, getting curious about this as a PROCESS. This inner work has its own timeline, and we must be patient while it is creating the space, the bandwidth for you to be able to dive into what your deepest presence wants next.

Jessica also does her best Veruca Salt impression, which sadly sounds a bit more like Mrs. Doubtfire, and she pays homage to Dr. "Bones" McCoy.
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The One Day You Finally Knew: For Women Breaking Away podcast is mixed and produced by Jessica Chasnoff, a recovering perfectionist who is always in a learning curve. While she is a psychologist, this podcast is not psychotherapy, and is not a substitute for mental health services. If you're struggling with mental health concerns, please reach out to a professional near you.
Connect with Jessica:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/your_deepest_presence/
Twitter: http://Twitter.com/@deepestpresence
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100070192401240
Website: https://www.DeepestPresence.com

The glorious monsoon Tucson is having this summer has Jessica thinking about hydration. After a good long soak, you can almost hear the desert flora and fauna sighing with relief. What would happen if we got to have our own sigh? If we slowed down and really appreciated how fortunate we are to have clean water to drink? Can't be anything but good! A sweet, little combination meditation and gratitude practice awaits you here.
P.S. Jessica takes the risk of burping into the microphone because she insists on drinking fizzy water, despite it being a podcaster no-no. Can she make it through this little bonus episode without a colossal belch?
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The One Day You Finally Knew: For Women Breaking Away podcast is mixed and produced by Jessica Chasnoff, a recovering perfectionist who is always in a learning curve. While she is a psychologist, this podcast is not psychotherapy, and is not a substitute for mental health services. If you're struggling with mental health concerns, please reach out to a professional near you.
Connect with Jessica:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/your_deepest_presence/
Twitter: http://Twitter.com/@deepestpresence
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100070192401240
Website: https://www.DeepestPresence.com

This is the last episode of 2021 before some time away to clarify the next steps for the podcast and book writing. While all of these projects have been exciting, Jessica is coming clean about how when we push the river, we run the risk of that excitement starting to feel like too much, too fast, and too soon.
When we want things to turn out a certain way (and who doesn't?!), we can find ourselves pushing for a particular outcome instead of letting ourselves float down the river's current and letting things unfold naturally. Being available for that natural unfolding informs our bodies of what feels good and what doesn't. But if we're pushing too hard to get it the way we want it, we inadvertently muddy the waters and be rendered unable to get clarity on the way forward.
Jessica also talks about the need for readiness as we embark on new journeys and the need to titrate the amount, the speed, and the intensity of our experiences to get the most success (in our own eyes) from our endeavors.
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The One Day You Finally Knew: For Folx Breaking Away podcast is produced and edited by Jessica Chasnoff, a recovering perfectionist who is always on a learning curve. While she is a psychologist, this podcast is not a substitute for mental health services. If you're struggling with mental health concerns, please reach out to a professional near you.
In episodes where Jessica discusses cases, they are composites of her clients from over the past 20 years. She has changed names, situations, and circumstances to protect client confidentiality.
Connect with Jessica:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/your_deepest_presence/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100070192401240
Website: https://www.DeepestPresence.com
Email: jessica@deepestpresence