If A Friendship Isn't Nourishing It's Time To Let It Go

Explicit content warning

09/06/21 • 24 min

One Day You Finally Knew: For Folx Breaking Away

Research has shown the importance of cultivating "sister of the heart" relationships and how they can improve our physical, emotional, and psychological health. But what happens when we realize a friendship is no longer nourishing us? In these COVID times, our social circles have naturally narrowed. We've let go of friends, and they've let go of us. We're realizing that we don't have the time or the energy for what isn't nurturing and life-giving.
This episode can help you determine if perhaps it's time to let go of a friendship, and offers a sweet reminder that you don't need to feel guilty about breaking away, because ultimately if that friend isn't for you, you're not for them either.
Jessica shares her thoughts on how to let go when you're not getting your needs met, soothing yourself after someone lets you go, taking yourself off the hook for ghosting a friend when it's exactly what's needed, and a Rumi inspired aspiration for not making anyone the bad guy.
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The One Day You Finally Knew: For Women Breaking Away podcast is produced and edited by Jessica Chasnoff, a recovering perfectionist who is always on a learning curve. While she is a psychologist, this podcast is not a substitute for mental health services. If you're struggling with mental health concerns, please reach out to a professional near you.
Connect with Jessica:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/your_deepest_presence/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100070192401240
Website: https://www.DeepestPresence.com

Previous Episode

Breaking Away From Negative Self-Talk: You Do It Bird By Bird

Negative thoughts about yourself come out of nowhere. You mind your own business, and before you know it, BAM! A giant, intrusive shitty thought about yourself has arrived. As soon as these thoughts show up, they shove themselves all up in your business, then run rampant through your brain like the proverbial bull in a china shop.
These thoughts can be Stage 5 Clingers, and it's important to remember that they're never going to go away completely. To be fair. . . Breaking Away(ish) From Negative Self-Talk should be the title of this episode. (Wink)
In this episode, Jessica shares some steps to help you keep these bullies at bay. You can work more easily with these bugbears through awareness, labeling the thoughts, gentle reminders not to believe every thought you think, acknowledgment, and setting boundaries with your own beautiful brain.
Jessica also spontaneously breaks out in song, which is a thing that happens from time to time, reminding you to be gentle (always!) with yourself in this process, and inviting you to "pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again" whenever you find yourself caught in a torrent of untruthful talk!
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The One Day You Finally Knew: For Women Breaking Away podcast is produced and edited by Jessica Chasnoff, a recovering perfectionist who is always on a learning curve. While she is a psychologist, this podcast is not a substitute for mental health services. If you're struggling with mental health concerns, please reach out to a professional near you.
Connect with Jessica:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/your_deepest_presence/
Twitter: http://Twitter.com/@deepestpresence
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100070192401240
Website: https://www.DeepestPresence.com

Next Episode

Self-Care Isn't Selfishness

Thanks to the patriarchy, folx of all genders have been indoctrinated into the belief that women were put on this planet to nurture others. Moreover, when women choose to care for themselves, they're seen as selfish. Is it any wonder we're just a teensy bit resentful about being assigned that role?!
In this episode, Jessica breaks it all down and shares her willingness to put her self-care above everyone else's, even the peeps she loves the most. Because caring for others is how she makes a living, but caring for herself (and her dogs) is how she makes a life. She offers a couple of powerful quotes on resentment, both suggesting that resentment is akin to eating poison and hoping the other person dies.
Nope. Doesn't work that way. You're the one who's gonna take it in the shorts, sis.
Newsflash: Those in your world will take whatever you give them. And yes, the world needs help, but if you're going to make the work sustainable for you, you must fill your cup first. The paradox is this. You can't truly offer yourself to others from a cup that is empty. The fuller your vessel, the more you have to give. (You also can't keep giving folx a straw while you're trying to fill your cup.)
If you want to be able to give joyfully and without resentment, you must have a self-care plan in place, and be able to engage in it unapologetically. Jessica offers tips on how to do this and shares some very personal limitations she's liberated herself from feeling bad about.
P.S. If you're a bit squeamish about puke, hearses, or the gubernatorial recall in California, maybe don't listen while you're lunching.
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The One Day You Finally Knew: For Women Breaking Away podcast is produced and edited by Jessica Chasnoff, a recovering perfectionist who is always on a learning curve. While she is a psychologist, this podcast is not a substitute for mental health services. If you're struggling with mental health concerns, please reach out to a professional near you.
Connect with Jessica:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/your_deepest_presence/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100070192401240
Website: https://www.DeepestPresence.com

One Day You Finally Knew: For Folx Breaking Away - If A Friendship Isn't Nourishing It's Time To Let It Go

Transcript

If A Friendship Isn't Nourishing It's Time To Let It Go

Hi there. Welcome to One Day You Finally Knew: A Podcast For Women Breaking Away. I'm your host, Jessica Chasnoff, and I'm super excited about walking together on this journey, home to ourselves. Let's see where our walk leads us today.

Oh, hello lovelies. Mmmm, here we are back again. So happy to be with you. I just had a big, good cry with my dearest heart sister here in town. Ahh, and let me tell you, I fe