Break Away From Looking Away: The Sweet Spot Between Taking Too Much In & Checking Out

08/23/21 • 27 min

One Day You Finally Knew: For Folx Breaking Away

When something terrible in the world happens that isn't directly happening to us, we have a choice. We can look away, deciding it's too much pain to take in and feel. Or, we can keep looking, deciding to let the pain of the world pierce our hearts and let it be a call to action.
If you're someone for whom taking in the pain makes it too much for you to get through your days with at least some moments of peace, you must find the middle way.
The middle way means avoiding the extremes in life. Life is always going to be full of polarities. Contrast and complement are crucial to living. No light without dark. No joy without pain.
We must practice the middle way if we're going to make it through this world; our horrible, gorgeous, profane, sacred, fucked up, perfect world.
We can't look away. But we can't let the looking destroy us.
In this episode, Jessica talks about ways that we can strike this balance, including choosing wisely how you get your information and how to get curious about what other food you're giving your head. She includes resources to help and reminds you that even the smallest donation still makes a difference toward alleviating suffering. She shares some things you can do to feel less helpless, hopeless, and immobilized. And also includes her belief that taking breaks can be a part of essential boundary setting; that it can refresh you and helps you to get back into the world with more generosity.
Links for helping Afghan refugees:
No One Left Behind: https://www.nooneleft.org
Chartering flights and helping with Special Immigration Visas (SIVs)
International Refugee Assistance Project: http://www.refugeerights.org
Providing legal resources for Afghan refugees
Together Rising: https://www.togetherrising.org
Presently giving donations to Women For Afghan Women (WAW) @womenforafghanwomen on IG, who are working around the clock in Kabul to provide emergency services and continue crucial programs for Afghan women, children, and families.
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The One Day You Finally Knew: For Women Breaking Away podcast is produced and edited by Jessica Chasnoff, a recovering perfectionist who is always on a learning curve. While she is a psychologist, this podcast is not a substitute for mental health services. If you're struggling with mental health concerns, please reach out to a professional near you.
Connect with Jessica:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/your_deepest_presence/
Twitter: http://Twitter.com/@deepestpresence
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100070192401240
Website: https://www.DeepestPresence.com

Previous Episode

Breaking Away From Not Being Yourself: The Little Girl Inside You Is Welcome At My Lunch Table

So many of us have a little girl that lives inside our hearts. A little girl who could not show the world who she was when we were young because she was misunderstood, told she was too sensitive, and potentially ostracized from peer groups and family. Maybe she was banished from the lunch table.
So, that little girl got small to meet the needs and desires of others who didn't have the capacity to meet her needs. It takes self-compassion to cradle that little girl inside. And it takes courage to finally break away from not being yourself, as a grown woman.
In this episode, Jessica tells the story of the little girl who lives in her heart; the little girl she's learned how to love by letting go of the messaging she received through much of her life that she was too much.
Also, some thoughts on how fucking up is a necessary part of self-growth, and will most definitely be a part of the anti-racist work that white women are being called to do right now. It helps if we can do this work together, as amazing women keeping each other honest. Jessica is committed to showing you her flaws as she grows, with the hopes that you won't be afraid to do the same.
And if you are afraid, that's okay. Jessica is too. But let's do it anyway. Together.
P.S. The red pills Jessica mentions taking are a reference to The Matrix. Not actual red pills.
******
The One Day You Finally Knew: For Women Breaking Away podcast is produced and edited by Jessica Chasnoff, a recovering perfectionist who is always in a learning curve. While she is a psychologist, this podcast is not psychotherapy, and is not a substitute for mental health services. If you're struggling with mental health concerns, please reach out to a professional near you.
Connect with Jessica:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/your_deepest_presence/
Twitter: http://Twitter.com/@deepestpresence
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100070192401240
Website: https://www.DeepestPresence.com

Next Episode

Breaking Away From Negative Self-Talk: You Do It Bird By Bird

Negative thoughts about yourself come out of nowhere. You mind your own business, and before you know it, BAM! A giant, intrusive shitty thought about yourself has arrived. As soon as these thoughts show up, they shove themselves all up in your business, then run rampant through your brain like the proverbial bull in a china shop.
These thoughts can be Stage 5 Clingers, and it's important to remember that they're never going to go away completely. To be fair. . . Breaking Away(ish) From Negative Self-Talk should be the title of this episode. (Wink)
In this episode, Jessica shares some steps to help you keep these bullies at bay. You can work more easily with these bugbears through awareness, labeling the thoughts, gentle reminders not to believe every thought you think, acknowledgment, and setting boundaries with your own beautiful brain.
Jessica also spontaneously breaks out in song, which is a thing that happens from time to time, reminding you to be gentle (always!) with yourself in this process, and inviting you to "pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again" whenever you find yourself caught in a torrent of untruthful talk!
******
The One Day You Finally Knew: For Women Breaking Away podcast is produced and edited by Jessica Chasnoff, a recovering perfectionist who is always on a learning curve. While she is a psychologist, this podcast is not a substitute for mental health services. If you're struggling with mental health concerns, please reach out to a professional near you.
Connect with Jessica:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/your_deepest_presence/
Twitter: http://Twitter.com/@deepestpresence
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100070192401240
Website: https://www.DeepestPresence.com

One Day You Finally Knew: For Folx Breaking Away - Break Away From Looking Away: The Sweet Spot Between Taking Too Much In & Checking Out

Transcript

ODYFK (Episode 5)- Breaking Away From Looking Away

Hello, sweet beings. Wow. Mmmm. It's been a week. Hasn't it. It's been a week of some pretty extreme suffering in our world. And while I was initially going to drop an episode today about breaking free from negative self-talk, I just felt like I needed to do something else. And that something else was inspired by the events that have unfolded over this past week.

It's probably by the time you hear this going to be