No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery
Jake Kastleman
What have you tried so far to quit porn? Accountability buddies, talk therapy, internet filters, church or religious programs, or mindfulness techniques to 'get rid of cravings'... Many of these have merit, but they're often missing key elements for long-lasting sobriety. It isn’t enough to just “stop watching porn”. Porn addiction is a symptom of deeper, underlying challenges that I address using evidence-based psychological and behavioral practices.
My mission isn't just to help people overcome porn addiction, but to give them each step to establish a recovery mindset and lifestyle. This is done using hands-on, daily exercises that retrain the brain and forge new habits that last a lifetime. Once this mindset and lifestyle are established, the desire for porn naturally fades.
To discover how to stop porn addiction, join my Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program at nomoredesire.com/program
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56: Keys for Confidence, Self-Worth, and Recovery | Mark Collins
No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery
06/12/24 • 56 min
If you're battling with pornography addiction, you're not alone, and there's a way out. I've been there, and I've come through the other side. Let's talk about how you can break free from porn addiction and reclaim your life.
In today’s episode, I speak with Mark Collins, a Coach and Mentor who helps men uncover their true identity so they can build confidence, self-worth, and a life of deep meaning.
Through my years of addiction, I often wondered what was driving this destructive behavior. For a long time, I thought it was simply sexual urges and desires; that I had a high libido and a need that had to be filled.
How wrong I was.
What Mark and I discussed can make a major difference for you in your path to overcome porn addiction.
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
- FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
- FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
- Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
- Set Up a Free Call with Jake
MARK COLLINS: FREEDOM FOR LIFE
- BOOK: Life Mastery | Live by Design, Not by Default
- Freedom for Life Website
- YouTube Channel @_freedomforlife_
MORE EPISODES
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68: From Porn to Peace | Recovery Mindset Practices to Stop Watching Porn
No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery
09/19/24 • 40 min
What if you had mental tools you could use in an instant to remove your desire for porn?
What if you could stop watching porn because you had a recovery mindset that replaced your need for it?
What I often hear from my clients when they begin my intensive porn addiction recovery program is that cravings for porn and sex feel instant and automatic. They see a woman, and immediately the lust and fantasizing starts.
I remember exactly what that was like during the years I was addicted to porn.
Many men feel out of control and unable to change the way they think about sexuality, romantic relationships, and women. They feel they have no choice whether they get dragged along by their sexual urges, and so much of what they want to accomplish or become is drowned out by these on-going sexual cravings.
They have a powerful drive to do great things with their lives, but so much of that just doesn’t feel possible with this monkey on their back.
It's difficult to quit porn. Sexual drive is a powerful force, and it can feel exhausting trying to fight it all the time; trying to be a responsible man, husband, and father. Sometimes we might wish we could just turn our sexual attraction off! Flip a switch and make the desires go away.
That’s the same way I felt for many years.
Today, I’ll teach you to stop watching porn by building a recovery mindset that replaces your desire for porn with a new, fulfilling perspective that enables you to love the people around you and yourself. Not in some cheap, boyish way, but in a mature, masculine way.
This perspective takes work. It’s not some freaking magic trick to “quit porn in 30 days” (those are scams). Instead, it’s a practical and psychological approach you can use throughout your day.
Read on to learn how you can grow this recovery mindset and replace your desire for porn with a fresh, new perspective that serves you and your loved ones.
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
MORE ARTICLES
How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse
The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction
How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits
Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction
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61: Make Friends with the Addict Part of Your Brain | Quit Porn Using 3 Evidence-based IFS Principles
No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery
07/24/24 • 35 min
Today, you're going to use 3 evidence-based IFS principles to learn how to quit porn by making friends with the addict part of your brain.
IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy is a powerful framework for overcoming addiction. It takes a non-traditional approach that has been studied and utilized for 40 years, and has been shown to be highly effective.
Using this approach, you'll discover how to make peace with the part of you that has consistently led you to porn addiction - this part that creates destruction in your life right now.
You’re going to learn how to make it your ally, your best friend, something that actually helps you rather than hurts you.
If that sounds strange, don't worry—I’ll explain exactly how this works.
If you’re like I was during the many years I was addicted to porn, you’ve likely become tired and frustrated with this addict part of your brain that keeps acting against you. You've been fighting it and trying to shut it up.
In order for you to quit porn, your frustration and fighting needs to end, and you need to become connected with this addict part of you, and see it with more clarity and understanding. Only then can you redirect it down a positive path, and overcome porn addiction.
The label “Porn Addict” does not define you
You’re a good man. I want to say that upfront. I remember feeling worthless, like I was a terrible person and that's why I couldn't stop porn.
You might think, "Jake, that's not true. I'm a bad person. Look at everything I've done." I used to tell myself those things too. There was a time I wanted to take my own life. And I came out of it, and am a better person because of those struggles.
You just have some habits that aren’t serving you or the people around you. You have this part of you, this addict part, that takes control sometimes. Instead of the real you—the good you—being in the driver’s seat.
This addict part takes over, leaving you in the backseat wondering, “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I control myself? Why do I keep doing this to my wife and kids? Why do I know better but not do better?”
You are destined for a greater life. You just need the right tools and strategies.
You'll learn them in today's episode.
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
MORE ARTICLES
Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits
The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction
How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
75: Quit Porn Using IFS | A Powerful New Approach to Psychology & Addiction Recovery
No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery
11/13/24 • 29 min
What if your brain pushes you towards porn addiction because it’s trying to help you, not hurt you? What if you could quit porn using IFS, an approach that helps you effectively understand and speak with the part of your brain pushing you towards porn, and you could redirect it? What if you could work alongside that part to overcome porn addiction, rather than feeling exhausted trying to fight it all of the time?
Since the dawn of western psychology, we have believed in a “mono-mind”. Meaning you have one brain and one personality. Seems pretty obvious, right? This is an assumption we’ve made based on hundreds if not thousands of years of tradition.
But what if this is incorrect? What if there is a more effective way of viewing the mind that results in accelerated mental healing and repair?
Internal Family Systems, “Sub-personalities”, and Porn Addiction Recovery
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a psychological modality that was founded by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980’s. Over the 2010’s and 2020’s it has accelerated rapidly into the mainstream due to its extremely effective approach for helping clients and individuals with addiction and mental illness.
IFS denies the assumption of “mono-mind” (that we have one personality and one identity), and instead posits that our mind is made up of multiple "parts" or sub-personalities, all contributing to our psyche and individuality.
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
MORE ARTICLES
Being Self-Critical Fuels Porn Addiction | How to Stop Perfectionism So You Can Stop Watching Porn
How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse
The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction
How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits
Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction
The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn Addiction
Music by: bensound.com
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30: Overcome Social Anxiety: 5 Simple Mental Techniques
No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery
10/25/23 • 53 min
I was talking with a friend of mine the other day - a fellow recovering addict - and I was sharing about my past with addiction and how social anxiety was a big struggle in my life and actually fueled my addiction - in other words, I went to addiction in order to cope with the immense amount of nervousness and fear I felt in relationships and social situations.
I told this friend that I had some mental techniques and spiritual methods that I could teach her to help her overcome social anxiety and that I could share those with her.
But I also know, from personal experience and from listening to others, that neither I nor she are isolated in the struggles we’ve had with both social anxiety and addiction.
Addicts often struggle with social anxiety. Especially porn addicts. Do all of us addicts? No, of course not, but there is a connection between social anxiety and addiction to whatever degree.
So, for my friend, and all of those other people out there struggling with social anxiety, I wanted to make this episode for you.
What I’m going to share is based on principles of psychology as well as principles of faith in God.
Most of what I’ll teach you are thought patterns and mental habits you can adopt to change the way that you think about yourself, other people, and relationships so that you can manage and decrease social anxiety.
These are mental tools that you can use any time, anywhere, and they take PRACTICE. The more you repeat them, the more you will train your brain to think differently and form new habits.
So, let’s dive in.
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
MORE ARTICLES
The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction
How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits
Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction
43: Ease Stress in 5 Steps
No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery
02/21/24 • 24 min
One of the main reasons that we struggle with porn addiction is we have not yet learned how to manage stress effectively.
Managing stress is not an easy task, especially with how many challenging emotions and decisions face us today.
Most people are more stressed than they’ve ever been, with the political, economic, and societal context.
But all this does not need to lead to addiction.
Rather than escaping through pornography addiction (or other addictions), we can learn how to stop running from discomfort, and start leaning into it.
We can handle difficult situations and emotions with peace and acceptance.
By doing this, we can develop the skills to quit porn long-term.
In today’s episode, I’ll teach you the 5 steps to ease stress.
If you want to take recovery seriously, join my coaching program. You’ll experience:
- One-on-one sessions with someone who has both personal and professional experience in recovery.
- Daily Check-ins that help you understand what’s really leading to your addiction so you can break free of porn for good.
- Personalize Plans and Goals we work on step-by-step to transform your life and well-being.
- Recovery Curriculum that teaches you the mindset and lifestyle you need to be sober.
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
MORE ARTICLES
The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction
How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits
Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction
24: Decrease Porn Cravings Using Pleasure Conditioning
No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery
09/06/23 • 56 min
FREE LESSON: Pleasure Conditioning - Decrease Porn Cravings
To overcome porn addiction, we need to understand how our other daily choices and activities affect our susceptibility to addiction.
My first few years recovering from porn were a real struggle. If I would have known the concepts of pleasure conditioning way back then, I would have had an easier time quitting porn.
Here’s the basic idea:
The more I engage in one type of pleasure or another, the more "conditioned" I become to that type of pleasure. So, the more frequently I engage in base pleasures, the more I’ll desire them; even negative pleasures, which the brain can find enticing. Similarly, the more I engage in meaningful and peaceful pleasures, the more I will desire those instead.
What are these types of pleasures?
- Base pleasures
- Meaningful pleasures
- Peaceful pleasures
Porn addiction recovery is not about battling cravings and temptations - it’s about setting up a physical, mental, and spiritual environment in which we don’t face as many of those cravings.
Base pleasure activities make us more susceptible to pornography addiction). We talk about what these specific activities are in the episode.
Meaningful and peaceful pleasures make us less prone to cravings for porn.
We find meaning in what we do when it fosters growth and/or blesses others. The more meaning we experience in life, the less we desire base pleasures, including addictive behaviors. We overcome the need for these not by simply stopping them, but by replacing them.
A life of high stimulation, instant gratification & constant distraction fosters mental chaos, depression, anxiety, and darkness.
If we want to stop watching porn, we need to give our mind time to rest and be still.
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
MORE ARTICLES
The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction
How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits
Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction
26: Can I Actually Learn Humility? | Porn Recovery Mindset
No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery
09/20/23 • 36 min
Have you ever been told that addiction recovery requires humility?
Do you wonder how in the world being humble could possibly help you quit porn?
Perhaps hearing that gets your defenses up. Perhaps it fills you with anger. Or maybe you just don’t understand what it means to “be humble”. You try to humble yourself in order to overcome porn addiction, but you wonder what that really means??
Humility can be an ethereal and seemingly unattainable virtue. Afterall, if I think that I’m humble, I’m probably not...so, how do I become humble?...
Well...I’m still working on that myself, so I really couldn’t tell ya. That said, I do think that we can talk about some perspective shifts and actions steps we can take each day that can help us learn humility, which will empower our porn addiction recovery.
Why? Practicing having an attitude of humility in everything that we do will invite more of God’s light in. Without humility, God cannot get through to us. Our heart must be OPEN. This attitude enables us to learn, grow, and be open to help. If we aren’t humble, we simply won’t learn, and therefore we won’t be able to stop porn addiction. So, we aim to practice it in ALL that we do.
I'll give you perspective shifts that can help us learn humility and break free from porn addiction.
I'll give you action steps that can build a humble attitude so you can get rid of porn addiction.
If we want to quit porn, it requires us to humble ourselves before God and Jesus Christ. This doesn’t mean that God is up there demanding our submission or wanting us to feel ashamed of ourselves. Rather, God knows that the only way for us to overcome unwanted behaviors is to live according to the ways of truth and peace.
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
MORE ARTICLES
The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction
How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits
Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction
22: Can People-Pleasing Fuel Porn Addiction?
No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery
08/23/23 • 31 min
Can People-Pleasing Fuel Porn Addiction? In today’s episode we talk about what people-pleasing is, where it comes from, and why many addicts struggle with people-pleasing tendencies.
What is People Pleasing?
- The tendency to do things to make others happy while putting your own needs at risk.
- The need to control another person’s emotions and ensure they feel happy.
How Can People Pleasing Cause Porn Addiction?
Pornography addiction has almost ZERO to do with manly urges, sexual cravings, or sexual obsession. Breaking free of porn has little to do with stopping the behavior itself, and far more to do with overcoming the underlying mental, spiritual, relational, and even physical causes of porn addiction.
We seek out porn addiction for a reason. That reason has everything to do with our mental state, i.e. negative feelings of shame, fear, inadequacy, etc. that we are experiencing on a daily basis, and perhaps more importantly our desire to resist and escape from these negative feelings.
People-pleasing is the desire for others to think well of us - we want to do things that impress others or make them see us in a positive light. This can cause us to:
- Focus too much on ourselves (ironically), which fuels addictive behaviors.
- Feel a lot of pressure to do things just right (perfectionism), which can lead us to cope through addiction.
- Neglect our own needs to the extent that we do not do those daily activities that support our recovery.
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
MORE ARTICLES
The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction
How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn
Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits
Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction
70: What to Do When Your Wife is Triggered | How to Hold Boundaries and Use the Language of Safety in Your Marriage When You Have a Porn Addiction
No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery
10/09/24 • 51 min
If you’re married and you struggle with a porn addiction, we’re going to talk about what to do when your wife is triggered.
I have seen a recurring trend with my clients who struggle with pornography addiction. Many have no boundaries with their partners. They face some very serious struggles and confusion in their marriage, trying to figure out how to react when their wives with betrayal trauma are triggered. In other words, when their wives become angry, defensive, lash out, become critical and insulting, or they shut down and give their husbands the silent treatment.
Very common these days - even in circles of recovery - is the tendency to believe that the porn addict can have no expectations or standards for how he is treated, because of the fact that he has betrayed his wife by watching porn, and that ALL of the issues in their relationship stem from his behavior. His wife can berate and put him down, and it is “justified” because of his porn addiction.
This kind of treatment can deeply hurt the addict, who by the way, despite his self-centered behavior, is a human being. Betrayed wives will sometimes blame their addict husbands for everything that’s wrong, and this crushes their husband’s self-esteem, causing him to feel hated and worthless. This works against the very thing that the wife wants most, which is a capable, responsible, and selfless husband. Not to mention this does not help him stop watching porn.
An addict’s betrayal of their spouse is, without a doubt, selfish. But it is also personally devastating and traumatic for the addict to endure. To overcome porn addiction requires far more than willpower, motivation, or a decision to stop. The recovering addict needs the proper recovery mindset and lifestyle tools, and qualified help for porn addiction.
Part of building this recovery mindset and lifestyle is to learn how to effectively engage with your romantic partner. Today, we will discuss the following to help you do this:
- Understanding the trauma of porn addiction
- Understanding the what, why, and how of triggers for betrayed spouses
- Understanding a spouse’s betrayal trauma
- Taking ownership over your side of the marriage (and letting the other person’s go)
- What boundaries are and are not
- How to help your betrayed spouse through...
- Using the language of safety
- Holding appropriate boundaries
- Holding daily couple’s check-ins
BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE
FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn
FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings
Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program
MORE ARTICLES
Journey Out of Darkness | A Porn Addiction Story
Porn Addiction is Just a Symptom
How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps
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FAQ
How many episodes does No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery have?
No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery currently has 91 episodes available.
What topics does No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery cover?
The podcast is about Health & Fitness, Addiction Recovery, Mental Health, Podcasts, Self-Improvement, Education and Mental Illness.
What is the most popular episode on No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery?
The episode title '56: Keys for Confidence, Self-Worth, and Recovery | Mark Collins' is the most popular.
What is the average episode length on No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery?
The average episode length on No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery is 42 minutes.
How often are episodes of No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery released?
Episodes of No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery are typically released every 7 days.
When was the first episode of No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery?
The first episode of No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery was released on Nov 15, 2022.
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