Sibling Squabbles: Annoying Younger vs. Mean Older

08/08/23 • 29 min

When siblings fight, it pushes all the mama bear instinct buttons. We can’t help but jump in and try to stop it. But our natural impulse - to angrily confront the one who “should know better” - can set up our squabbling sibs for even more friction down the road.

On last month’s Masterminding Monthly call, I got the opportunity to coach a mom struggling with how to respond to a classic sibling dynamic. Younger kiddo worships the older one, and wants to be around them all the time. Meanwhile, older sib doesn’t want a chatty shadow following them everywhere. The drama between your kids might have a different shape, but the tools I teach in this episode will help you begin to defuse the situation without contributing to the tension between them.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Why it’s so common for older kids to feel resentful of their younger siblings.
Where to focus your attention so you don’t reinforce that competitive framing.
When to address behavior that crosses the safety line, and when to let your kiddos work things out themselves.

And much more!

As always, thanks for listening. Head over to Facebook, where you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community. We post tips and tools and do pop-up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!

Get all the links, resources, and transcripts here: https://mastermindparenting.com/podcast-250

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.

She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.

At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.

Randi’s Web and Social Links

Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/

Resources Discussed/Links

https://mastermindparenting.com/monthly

https://mastermindparenting.com/minimasters/

Live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Why it’s so common for older kids to feel resentful of their younger siblings.
Where to focus your attention so you don’t reinforce that competitive framing.
When to address behavior that crosses the safety line, and when to let your kiddos work things out themselves.

And much more!

Get all the links, resources, and transcripts here: https://mastermindparenting.com/podcast-250

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.

She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.

At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.

Randi’s Web and Social Links

Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/

Resources Discussed/Links

https://mastermindparenting.com/monthly

https://mastermindparenting.com/minimasters/

Live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/

Previous Episode

Middle School Mean Girls

Sometimes a Mastermind parent struggles with an issue that’s so damn relatable, we can’t help but share it. If you’ve lived through the middle school years, you’ve probably seen your kid struggle with changing social dynamics, and rejection by kids who used to be their friends. It’s not only heartbreaking to watch, but our instinct to protect often only makes things worse. The key to helping them through this emotionally challenging stage of life is helping them face it on their terms.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

How to cultivate the trusting environment your child needs to feel comfortable with sharing when peers are mistreating them.
Why your kiddo might have some sympathy for the person bullying them, and why you should, too.
Physical activities for combating stress and helping kids open up.
The similarities between the embodied experience of physical and emotional pain.

And much more!

Get all the links, resources, and transcripts here: https://mastermindparenting.com/podcast-249

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again, like bike rides and beach vacays.

She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.

At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.

Randi’s Web and Social Links

Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/

Resources Discussed/Links

Live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/

Next Episode

What Is Anxiety Trying To Tell You?

My strong-willed son has taught me so much about dealing with anxiety. Parenting him helped me learn how much of the behavior kiddos struggle with is motivated by the scary signals they’re getting from their bodies. Knowing him as an adult has helped me recognize my own anxious tendencies, and how to manage them with loving curiosity. This time I’m sharing some of the things I’ve learned, with a big assist from our beloved Judy Blume.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

How anxiety can motivate strong-willed behaviors, like fighting with siblings or challenging authority.
The messages anxiety sends about the state of your mind and body (and how to start paying attention).
Why the hardest anxiety to recognize might be your own.

And much more!

Get all the links, resources, and transcripts here: https://mastermindparenting.com/podcast-251

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.

She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.

At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.

Randi’s Web and Social Links