Joy@Work Podcast - LA 085: How to motivate Anyone

LA 085: How to motivate Anyone

02/07/20 • 21 min

My hands clammy, my shirt beginning to soak with perspiration in the air-conditioned room. I walked to the front of the meeting room past my muttering colleagues and got blinded momentarily by the projector; I faced my audience. Their faces raptly attentive as they waited for the first words to come. The Purpose This AdvantEdge Guide hacks the neuro-psychology of influence to uncover the chemistry and maths used by our critter and executive brains respectively and learn how to leverage and use this understanding to yield the fruit of motivating people to do the things that matter. You'll be a better influencer and thus a better leader. The Process First, get your own EDGE by listening or reading to the guide and then ponder privately or with your buddy coach on the Empowering questions at the end of the guide. Every guide uses the EDGE development process: Encourage - trying something new or different is uncomfortable and challenging so what's in it for you? That'll be the Payoff below! Develop - your understanding and knowledge of the neuro-psychology research that supports this leadership hack. Guide - Specific actions for you to consider to put this into practice. Empower - One specific action for you to take away, together with templates when needed. Second, buddy up Take this guide further by buddying up with someone else. Use this as a mentoring tool that takes all the guesswork and myths out of a leadership development conversation. The Payoff You'll grow as a leader and influencer, they'll grow as a leader and together you'll achieve better results. If you're in sales, you'll sell more, more easily. If you're in tech or engineering, you'll get the support you need from colleagues and motivate those marketing and finance types to collaborate. This was my most important performance ever, and I was about to go down in flames... I noticed my boss as he glanced at his watch. A phone buzzed in silent mode on the table and all eyes were drawn toward it. Someone muttered an apology as he picked up the errant phone and read the message. I had spent weeks preparing for this meeting. We were about to introduce a new computer system across the entire business and everyone in the room would be affected. The only problem was that nobody wanted the new system. If only they would realise how beneficial it was going to be... I stumbled through my slides, gave them all the facts in laborious detail and outlined the plan. Still, nobody wanted the new system. I had failed to influence my colleagues to support the project So why had my long-prepared presentation failed to achieve the intended result? When we link the required resources to the goal through personal benefit - the fruit is motivation to change. That is, we influence the person to change. Develop The answer lies in the Triangle of Influence We are influenced EMOTIONALLY in our critter brain first. This has a lot to do with brain chemistry. Aristotle called this "Pathos". Then we are influenced RATIONALLY in our executive brain which essentially relies on maths. Aristotle referred to this as "Logos". When we are influenced to do something, we connect three things inside the brain: The goal (Command Intent) we will achieve The resources (Talents, Skills, Time and Money) achieving the goal costs, and The personal benefits (fulfilling Purpose and Values) that we get out of achieving the goal. The Critter Brain and The Chemistry of Motivation and Influence Any perception of cost in using my talents, my skills, my money or my time triggers a fear response. I might get protective (fight it), pretend I didn't hear it (freeze) or stop hearing anything else (flee). In large part it triggers the production of norepiphrene (better known as adrenaline). This is not good news for motivation. But that doesn't mean that you can or should avoid being open about the cost of doing something. If you don't tell me, it's highly probable that my emotional memory will tag on a p

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Previous Episode

How Strong Leaders Handle Rejection and Criticism (And Keep On Keeping On)

I just returned from a long and exciting trip to Israel where I was reminded that even the very best of us face rejection and are criticised. Encourage It seems that it does not matter whether your intentions are to help and serve others. It doesn't matter if you are the kindest, gentlest, most loving and caring person the world has ever seen. You will face rejection. And you will probably face rejection by those you truly would think should be the tribe you can most trust, your own family, your own people. In fact, oftentimes, it's those closest to you whose rejection hurts the most. The chance of being rejected by someone used to be limited to our social and work circle and our dating pool. Nowadays, thanks largely to social media and technology, our posts, chats, profiles, pictures can all be easily ignored, disliked or flamed by a multitude of vague acquaintances. And rejection hurts deeply. Its wounds pierce our very soul and hit the core of our being. It has happened to you and it will happen again in the future, so how can we equip ourselves now to overcome rejection and soothe the sting of rejection? Develop it will greatly help to understand why rejection hurts and what is happening inside the brain. Before we dive into ways we can soothe our rejection, it will greatly help to understand why it hurts and what is happening inside the brain. When researchers placed volunteers in functional MRI machines asking them to recall a recent rejection, they found something astounding. When we experience rejection, the area that lights up on the fMRI is the same area activated when we experience physical pain. But social rejection is worse than stubbing your toe or even being punched in the face because physical pain diminishes over a short period of time. Research shows that even being rejected by a total stranger can simultaneously make you feel sad and angry. Indeed, your brain doesn't distinguish who or what is rejecting you, the same response applies. Whether it's someone in your own group or someone you don't relate to at all. Whether it's a human being or a computer rejecting you, being ostracised stings! Sadly, the greatest damage of rejection is self-inflicted. For most people, the natural response to being dumped by a dating partner or being the last person picked for a team is not to lick our wounds and get back on form but to become incredibly self-critical. We feel disgusted with ourselves, call ourselves names, lament how we are truly not worthy, and dwell on our shortcomings. This means that just at the moment when our self-esteem has taken a beating, we lay it on the ground and give it a good kicking ourselves. It's when that self-damaging refrain learned from a very young age that "I am not good enough" repeats it's toxic mantra. In the days of our long-ago ancestors, rejection served a vital function. Being ostracised from our tribe in our hunter/gatherer past was akin to a death sentence, as you would be unlikely to survive long alone. The same area (the anterior cingulate cortex) of the brain that is constantly on the watch for danger or change in the environment is the same place scanning for the social clues that might point towards a future rejection. It was so vitally important to continue to belong to a tribe that mimicking intense physical pain is a terrific way to get our attention. Those who paid attention early were more likely to correct their behaviour and remain in the tribe. It's all happening in the primitive part of our "critter" brain. As modern evolved human beings we did not, unfortunately, evolve a more reasoned response that would negate the need to gain our vivid attention. Rejection still has a way of destroying a person's life in a way that few other things can. And the number of people affected by rejection is staggering. Why do people face rejection or being ostracised by others? Few people who have rejected someone else can readily explain their reasoni

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Next Episode

Winning The Battle In Your Soul Against Panic, Fear And Covid

Purpose: Sharing neuroscience hacks to help you win the battle in your soul during this time of lockdowns, social distancing and a strange lack of toilet paper. Payoff: You'll regain control to and be able to encourage others so we can all emerge better, stronger and ready to reinvigorate our lives and the world. Encourage We're 3 months into this virus spreading its fear and anxiety across the globe. Different people in different places are in various stages of grief. We all started in full denial and several went into isolation immediately. Information was scare as no-one accepted responsibility and no-one wanted to be accountable. Experts were dumbfounded - only this time they actually admitted that they were dumbfounded. Some closed borders, others said it was premature. Some stopped flights, others continue to this day. Some said it is airborne and we all need masks, others said it was droplets and we needed to wash our hands. That period seemed to last forever, some would suggest that there's a couple of world leaders still there, which rather helped many tip over into the anger phase. The promises of no shortages triggered the exact opposite effect - after all, no sensible person trusts a politician at the best of times, and suddenly they were talking about the worst of times, but everything else was carrying on as usual? Toilet paper was the first surprising victim. Now, everything is in diminished supply. Some leaders started bargaining with the virus only to discover that it didn't come to negotiate but to infiltrate. It came to spread and reproduce and take out the weaker members - which unsurprisingly led many back into anger. Self-isolation measures began to take root and social distancing was no longer about focusing only on your phones and choosing to ignore others, now we were encouraged to avoid others. Churches shut their doors, Mosques and temples too. The misery continued as depression kicked in. The massive deaths in Italy made us all question what was really happening. Holidays cancelled - many with little prospect of a refund and , naturally, the insurance companies would claim exceptional circumstances. Slowly acceptance of quarantine, isolation, stay at home, the lost holidays, the lost income, the lost job, and yes, the lost toilet paper. We're all grieving. Grieving for a life that was, just a few short weeks ago, looking so promising. A new decade was dawning and there was hope in the very air. Well now the air is clean and clear. At least until China's factories ramp up to full production and poison our scarred lungs. Hope has faded for many, a few hold on tightly to the promises of God, who is, by the way, still on His throne. If we haven't personally lost someone dear to us, why are we grieving? We're grieving the loss of agency and control. Develop The little girl coughed as we descended in the lift. A deep, dry and loud cough. She didn't cover her mouth. I flinched. It was instinctual, my heart rate shot up and my body and brain flooded with adrenaline. I stopped breathing. I left the lift as the doors opened and realised I had stopped breathing. The fresh sun-soaked air was my welcome refuge. Humans everywhere are deeply concerned for their safety. We cannot not be. It's the Critter part of our brain. The part that houses and runs our emotions. A place where chemistry rules the roost and floods our brains and blood stream with chemical messengers to be afraid, to be very very afraid. Don't know what it is? Be afraid. Don't know what to do? Be afraid. Don't know what's happening? Be afraid. And this isn't a conscious "knowing". We have no experience or memory that helps guide us on the better course of action. We can quickly be so overwhelmed with emotions of fear and anxiety that we forget all else and forget to engage our thinking mind. It is going to help you to better understand how our body and soul - our mind, will and emotions operate and thus we feel as though we have no agency or contr

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.joyatwork.coach