Joy@Work Podcast

My hands clammy, my shirt beginning to soak with perspiration in the air-conditioned room. I walked to the front of the meeting room past my muttering colleagues and got blinded momentarily by the projector; I faced my audience. Their faces raptly attentive as they waited for the first words to come. The Purpose This AdvantEdge Guide hacks the neuro-psychology of influence to uncover the chemistry and maths used by our critter and executive brains respectively and learn how to leverage and use this understanding to yield the fruit of motivating people to do the things that matter. You'll be a better influencer and thus a better leader. The Process First, get your own EDGE by listening or reading to the guide and then ponder privately or with your buddy coach on the Empowering questions at the end of the guide. Every guide uses the EDGE development process: Encourage - trying something new or different is uncomfortable and challenging so what's in it for you? That'll be the Payoff below! Develop - your understanding and knowledge of the neuro-psychology research that supports this leadership hack. Guide - Specific actions for you to consider to put this into practice. Empower - One specific action for you to take away, together with templates when needed. Second, buddy up Take this guide further by buddying up with someone else. Use this as a mentoring tool that takes all the guesswork and myths out of a leadership development conversation. The Payoff You'll grow as a leader and influencer, they'll grow as a leader and together you'll achieve better results. If you're in sales, you'll sell more, more easily. If you're in tech or engineering, you'll get the support you need from colleagues and motivate those marketing and finance types to collaborate. This was my most important performance ever, and I was about to go down in flames... I noticed my boss as he glanced at his watch. A phone buzzed in silent mode on the table and all eyes were drawn toward it. Someone muttered an apology as he picked up the errant phone and read the message. I had spent weeks preparing for this meeting. We were about to introduce a new computer system across the entire business and everyone in the room would be affected. The only problem was that nobody wanted the new system. If only they would realise how beneficial it was going to be... I stumbled through my slides, gave them all the facts in laborious detail and outlined the plan. Still, nobody wanted the new system. I had failed to influence my colleagues to support the project So why had my long-prepared presentation failed to achieve the intended result? When we link the required resources to the goal through personal benefit - the fruit is motivation to change. That is, we influence the person to change. Develop The answer lies in the Triangle of Influence We are influenced EMOTIONALLY in our critter brain first. This has a lot to do with brain chemistry. Aristotle called this "Pathos". Then we are influenced RATIONALLY in our executive brain which essentially relies on maths. Aristotle referred to this as "Logos". When we are influenced to do something, we connect three things inside the brain: The goal (Command Intent) we will achieve The resources (Talents, Skills, Time and Money) achieving the goal costs, and The personal benefits (fulfilling Purpose and Values) that we get out of achieving the goal. The Critter Brain and The Chemistry of Motivation and Influence Any perception of cost in using my talents, my skills, my money or my time triggers a fear response. I might get protective (fight it), pretend I didn't hear it (freeze) or stop hearing anything else (flee). In large part it triggers the production of norepiphrene (better known as adrenaline). This is not good news for motivation. But that doesn't mean that you can or should avoid being open about the cost of doing something. If you don't tell me, it's highly probable that my emotional memory will tag on a p

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Encourage Even in the direst circumstances, people seek out their purpose in life: Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning 1 Human beings have a deep, innate desire to find meaning in their lives. We want to matter. For some, it is to leave a legacy, to put a ding in the universe, or to enjoy the satisfaction of a job well done. For others, it is about success, reputation or recognition. For many who have found their true meaning, they know it's about others and less about self. And yet for many many more, it is an unknown, idealised and unrealistic dream. Researchers have shown that meaningfulness is more important to employees than pay and rewards, promotions or even working conditions. 2 Work that is meaningful can be highly motivational, performance enhancing, satisfying and leads to greater commitment. 3 Yet, recently I was running a workshop with a group of millennials and I was unsurprised that not one of them had a clear purpose for their life, not even a career plan or really a semblance of any idea what they wanted let alone why they might have been put on this earth. My surprise was that this time, not one of them has put thought into it. Usually, one or two will tentatively raise their hands that they have some sort of idea or plan for their own future. And yet we hear so many stories that Millennials seek more from jobs than a salary. They are , apparently, greatly concerned about environmental issues, climate change, social injustice. And they want to be engaged at work- yet less than 30% are. And they seek personal life balance int heir work. So not so very different from Gen X'ers, Baby Boomers and Founding fathers. Develop I was given some pretty poor advice when I was young to pursue my passion in life. "Do what you love and you won't work another day in your life." Which is all well and good until you change your mind about what you are passionate about. Passion is self-serving, egotistical and selfish. It's for you alone. And it changes. For some people it changes over years, for others it changes in minutes. Most often, your passion tends to be associated with something you are good at doing. You love doing this. You enjoy it. I've met many an accountant who went into it in part due to parental expectations and bias, in other part that they were good at maths and liked earning and counting money. A few years later, the glisten of accounting can wear off and the feeling of something missing looms larger and larger. The dictionary can help us out here: Passion: a strong or powerful emotion This is not the same as being engaged with work: Engaged: to occupy the attention or efforts of (a person or persons): Though you could argue that your attention would be occupied by doing something that you are passionate about. Passion is good to put fire in your belly but as Ryan Holiday points out in his book, “Ego is the Enemy, ”Passion is for the amateurs" he says, and continues with, “passion is seen in those who can tell you in great detail who they intend to become and what their success will be like.” Though they haven’t gotten there, and might not even be on the right track. Ouch! If passion is the fire, then purpose is the fuel. It is "Why" you do what you do. It's "Why" you were born, "Why" you have the gifts and talents you have. Purpose: The object toward which one strives or for which something exists; an aim or goal: the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists As you search to make your work meaningful, it aligns with your purpose (and if you are truly blessed, aligns with your passion as well.) Research at MITSloan Management Review found five qualities of Meaningful work: Self-transcendent (it's not about you!) - your work aligns with your purpose or even is your purpose. We find meaning in work when our work matters more to others than to just ourselves. Abraham Maslow's original hierarchy had "Self-transcendence" at the apex Poignant (meaning doesn't always co

Encourage We've all had to deal with them. Perhaps you still are dealing with them? Difficult People. They come in all shapes and sizes. All races, all genders, and all backgrounds. They only share two things in common, but I'll come back to that in a little while. As a professional executive coach I occasionally get asked by organisation leaders if I can help them "fix" one of their more "difficult" or "problematic" team members. They see potential in this person but there's a problem in their style or approach that needs developing. Some of them are like Debbie Downer from Saturday Night Live: Always ready with a depressing take on everything being discussed. Some people only seem to be happy when they're unhappy and bringing everyone else down with them to the pit of despair. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfE93xON8jk Other jerks seem to get a kick out of creating problems for everyone else and pushing people's buttons. Needling away on their pet topic and with a keen eye for any signs of weakness in others. Then we have the bullies. Instead of pushing people's metaphorical buttons, they seem to get off on literally pushing people around, shouting the loudest, forcing others to do things they don't want to and worse. At least with the downers, the jerks and the bullies everyone knows who they are. But some of the most difficult people to lead are the timid and frightened. They can be so fearful of confrontation and conflict that they hide and disappear just when you need them. Or perhaps you have someone on your team who is so disorganised and yet desperate to succeed and never seems to make any headway? And then we have the cynics and scoffers who undermine everything with their often sarcastic wit and pointed barbs. Or perhaps your most difficult person is the gossip who spread rumours, half-truths and juicy tid-bits in hushed tones over "team lunches" turning everyone against you whilst to your face, oh they're as sweet as honey and in front of the boss... well you have to admire their front and acting skills. Yes, they come in all shapes and sizes, races, genders and from all backgrounds and they share two things in common: The first important thing they all have in common is that they are all "people". We are dealing here with human beings. And we know from neuroscience that human beings share very much more in common in what drives them and causes these behaviours. The second thing they have in common is you. If you're reading or listening to this, then you have one or more people in your life whom you find difficult, and you want to know how to lead them or simply deal with them. It's OK, you are in the right place. Before we head into the "how", we need a few moments to understand what is happening with these people. And for that we'll be turning to a little neuroscience. Develop I recently read a terrific book by Christine Comaford: ""Power Your Tribe". She also writes for Forbes and has built on Abram Maslow's hierarchy of needs showing the neurological drivers all humans share. And it's primal. Your brain knows two states that matter: Dead and not-dead. Your brain's primary job is to keep you in the "not dead" state. And you really don't care about leading difficult people when you are "dead". To keep you in the "not dead" state, your brain guides your body to satisfy your physiological needs first and foremost. You have to eat, drink, find shelter, and stay warm (or cool). If any of that is threatened by anyone or anything, your brain will guide you to protect it before "not dead" becomes "dead". Now that you are in the "not dead" state we have three more primal drivers of our behaviours: Safety, Belonging and Mattering. Only when these three are also satisfied to our brain's content do we consider "self-actualization" and doing things beyond the norm for ourselves. And we crave these three things: Safety, Belonging and Mattering. Some people may crave more of one than the others, but we all crave all thre

We know that choosing joy means higher performance, more happiness, less stress, less anxiety, better results, greater health. And we know that choosing joy is simple. So why do we all find it so dang difficult?!?

In large part, it’s about another need we, or rather our brain has; to feel that we have control.

But, we have established that you cannot control what happens outside - you may be able to influence it or concerned about it, but you cannot control it. You only control your own thoughts and your own actions. Sorry, you CAN only control your thoughts and your actions. It’s your choice.

You can influence others and some things outside but you do not control them.

So, I’m borrowing and adapting from Steven Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People: Imagine 3 circles:

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The inner circle is our circle of power and contains all the things that you know that (on your better days) you can control. In this inner circle, you have the full power of choice. These include your own thoughts, the words you use, the actions you take. You also have control over your emotions, your effort and your own self-care.

The middle circle are things over which you have influence, limited control and less power. These are things that you can directly influence. These include your health, your family, home, job, finances and friends.

The outer circle is our circle of concern. Things and people that matter to you but over whom you have much less influence and even less power. The further from your inner circle, the less influence you have. These might include the weather, world events and politics, accident or injury or illness. Also other’s perceptions and their actions.

When you perceive or believe that external events or people threaten your circle of influence or your circle of power you are focused on things that you cannot control. And when you choose (or allow yourself to) focus on what you cannot control, your Circle of Influence contracts! You have chosen to have an external locus of control.

In contrast, when you choose to focus on what you can control, your Circle of Influence expands. You have chosen an internal locus of control.

A third, and more profitable focus is on the Spirit within and a God who is still on His throne and in control of everything (a fourth outer ring) and then we humble ourself to the finished work of Christ knowing that “...all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Rom 8:28

Fear, stress, anxiety and depression can increase when we believe or perceive that our power, influence or control are diminished or threatened by challenges beyond our control. Fear, stress and anxiety are reactions (not illness). We have shifted our locus of control from us... to ”them”.

I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.

Stephen Covey

Six Essential Human Needs - SPACES Recap

It’s not just about any threat to your circle of power, it’s what you perceive is being threatened and how important that need is to you!

You’ll recall that we all share six essential needs. These are the key things we wish to influence.

When we perceive that our circle of power is being threatened, our influence to have our own needs fulfilled diminishes.

The more fundamental the need, for example something life threatening, the greater our fear response to the threat.

And, we should all be acutely aware that the more fundamental the need for us, the easier it is for someone else to influence our response both positively and negatively. The advertising industry is successful precisely because it plays on our more fundamental needs and fears.

For example, your need to eat food is most often associated with pleasure and price in advertisements. New cars are associated with prestige or significance (a higher need for mattering or significance) but also scantily clad human models (a fundamental sexual need).

#😲 Insight When you focus on the external thr...