Is Our Love ____? with Lola Jean & The Reluctant Sexpert

Stoya. A person who needs no introduction but we’re going to attempt it anyway. An internationally celebrated author, activist, actress & advocate for sex worker’s rights. An introverted cat lover, a next level book nerd, and a fearless caller of bullshit. An endless seeker of the authentic & creator of sexually explicit media in all forms. Stoya’s famously photogenic asshole could be identified in a line-up by millions of porn viewers... and that’s made her life simultaneously fascinating and fucking traumatizing. Stephen and Stoya met and fell in love in their 20s. That relationship would come to have strange rippling effects on both of their lives.

The next two episodes of Is Our Love ____? is a uniquely intimate conversation between ex’s about mutual shared history, sex, love, life, and how we can all keep trying to improve.

If you'd like advice on sex, love, or relationships you can always email us at [email protected] ... (PS it's worth reminding that you can also email Stoya & her advice column 'How To Do It' at [email protected])

You can find Stoya's explicit media and first 2 issues at Zerospaces.com. Our crossover Podcast episode on Unicorns will be part of the upcoming issue #3. You can also follow her @stoya on twitter and instagram.

------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert

The recurring musical theme this episode is Innerpartysystem "This Empty Love," (The video mentioned still exists on youtube) Our official theme songs are composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com

This week we continue our venture into the world of literotica with someone who can not only call themselves an erotica writer but a sex toy inventor as well. Tabitha Rayne is a decorated writer who draws more on fiction than reality. Penning her dirty words as a way to finesse typing and molding her own rideable toy as a means to get off while her fingers flowed, Tabitha quite literally continues to fall into success. Tabitha brings the fun back into saying, writing and reading certain words. We grill Tabitha on where the bridge between written and spoken dirty words--if at all, how you can get into writing your own smut, and how to use erotica in your own life. PLUS, we continue to ask the age old question: Why were people always hiding porn magazines in bushes?

You can find all of Tabitha's work on tabitharayne.com and purchase a ruby glow at therubyglow.com

If you're in need of sex, love or relationship advice (or just want to share a story) Email us at [email protected]

------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert

The end of episode song this week is LAPS "Mojo" Our official theme songs were lovingly composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com

This week on Is Our Love we talk to a *fucking* Wizard. Find out how one becomes a fucking wizard and what a real life wizard even does. Devin Person dispels the mystique behind erotic hypnosis and what happens when a hypnosis goes dark. So much of pleasure based sex ed focuses on physical touch, but how can one manipulate the mind as a part of the mind-body experience? Whether you subscribe or not, hypnotism has many interesting parallels to BDSM and sex. PLUS, Stephen and Lola get hypnotized and have (you guessed it)*very* different reactions.

You can find all things Wizard or book sessions with Devin at personisawake.com and hear him on his podcast: THIS PODCAST IS A RITUAL.

If you have a sex or relationship question for us or have a topic you want to hear covered on the show? MANIFEST! [email protected]

Books mentioned this episode: Mindplay: A Guide to Erotic Hypnosis by Mark Wiseman

------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert

This weeks' end of episode song is a throwback, Aphex Twin "Film." Our official theme songs are composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com

What is a norm and how do you know if you’re willingly or unwillingly abiding by it? By now we know our formative years at least have some influence in our worldview. Does that mean norms are good? Bad? or do they not even matter at all? Porn performer and activist Lync Johnson (@lyncjohnson3x) takes us through his formative years and how his lack of societal influence helped him form norms of his own. From a unique first time experience to rejecting labels, Lync’s journey down memory lane has us all questioning our societal influences and how norms can be particularly gendered. PLUS a listener gets some words of advice from Julia Koewer (@JuliaKoerwer) LMSW on finding affordable therapy for a new lover.

Follow Lync everywhere: allmylinks.com/lyncjohnson

If you're in need of sex, love or relationship advice Email us at [email protected]

------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert

The end of episode song this week is Suicide "Dream Baby Dream" Our official theme songs were lovingly composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com

Have you ever had a stereotype projected onto you? Have you ever felt guilty about embodying or identifying with a stereotype of your ethnicity or otherwise? These conversations may not be easy but they’re absolutely necessary. This week we welcome Rebecca Carvalho to discuss her relationship with her ethnicity as it relates to her sexuality and how this comes into play throughout her dating life and interaction with porn. Latinx people covers a WIDE range of persons. Rebecca uses her personal journey as well as learning about her roots and past, including reconciling with a shame of embodying some of the common stereotypes. PLUS Stephen and Lola answer an advice question about squirting that isn’t really about squirting at all!

Follow Rebecca on Insta @rebeccaecarvalho or find her at rebeccaecarvalho.com

If you're in need of sex, love or relationship advice : Email us at [email protected]

------~ Follow us on social media ~------- The show: @isourlove_____ Lola Jean: @lolajeandotcom Classes & Instruction: lolajean.com Stephen Penta: @thereluctantsexpert

This weeks' end of episode song is Ricky Martin, "Shake Your Bon-Bon" because holy shit that really happened once upon a time.

Our official theme songs were lovingly composed & recorded by our good friends at hyperballadmusic.com